Month: April 2021

Feeling Extravagant: A Guide to Your Emotions

Extravagant. What comes to mind when you think of that word? Extraaaaavagant. Some of us might picture an 80-year-old woman in a massive fur coat walking down the streets of New York, adorned in jewellery that we could never afford. Her apartment is the epitome of maximalism and she looks like she could throw money into the fireplace to keep herself warm and not miss it. Ugh. Wouldn’t that be nice!?

To others, extravagance might mean indulging in something that makes them feel good! This could mean getting dressed up in your nicest clothes and going out for dinner to celebrate anything or nothing! It might mean having a fun night in with your friends and laughing so hard that your face hurts. 

But what does this feeling mean to you?  You’ve clicked on this article so you’re feeling extravagant in some kind of way. Honestly, we love that for you! So let’s take this moment to examine this emotion (extravagantly of course). 

A Deeper Look at Feeling Extravagant

Let’s take a look at some synonyms of extravagant to get a better understanding of the emotion itself: absurd, bizarre, flashy, lavish, ostentatious, showy, costly, fanciful. 

So many of the synonyms for extravagance are related to wealth and money. Even one of the definitions on Dictionary.com talks about how being extravagant is equivalent to wasting money: “spending much more than is necessary or wise; wasteful.” But we actually prefer this definition instead: “exceeding the bounds of reason, as actions, demands, opinions, or passions.” 

Feeling extravagant doesn’t always have to feel like you’re being lavish and living in luxury 24/7. It can just mean indulging in something that brings you happiness. One of our favourite examples of this is these best friends who love pink and yellow soooo much that they’ve incorporated it into every aspect of their world! That’s so cute and very extravagant in our opinion. They’re following their passions and going above and beyond to find something that brings them joy!

You don’t have to have tons of money or spend tons of money to feel extravagant. That idea is hella classist! Feeling extravagant can come in the form of having a nice bath and a glass of wine, or splurging and ordering in dinner one night instead of cooking it. Wherever this feeling comes from, chase it! You don’t have to be that lavish woman living in New York to make this happen. It can come from small things in your life that make you feel fine af. 

How Extravagance Shows Up Mentally

When you feel extravagant, you know that you’re the baddest bitch that ever walked this earth. Your shoes hit the ground, and the ground says “Thank you for walking on me.” You flip your hair and the wind says “Thank you for creating me.” There is unbridled confidence that comes with the territory of extravagant. You know that because you feel amazing! 

  • Confidence
  • Pride
  • Self-assurance
  • Increased self-worth 
  • Happiness

You are revelling in the world that you’ve created. Everything seems brighter, feels better, sounds more beautiful, and hell, it even smells better! Why? Because you’re following what makes you happy! With great pleasure comes greatly increased mental health. 

How Extravagance Shows Up Physically 

Extravagance doesn’t always have to do with the kind of clothes you wear or what you purchase. It can come from your attitude too. If you want to feel extravagant in some fancy frocks, go to town! Do what makes you feel good! Maybe you’re simply feeling fine as fuck today with no extra help from the clothes you’re wearing. Either way, this is how you’re physically radiating your extravagance to the rest of the world: 

  • Increased performance 
  • Increased energy 
  • More likely to stay hydrated and nourished
  • Improved sleep
  • More likely to perform self-care

You feel confident and relaxed knowing that you are here to rock everyone’s world in the best kind of way! You feel confident and content with who you are, so obviously feeling amazing leads to amazing things! You’re killin’ it at your job, you’re feeling pumped and excited to live your life, and you’re sleeping well because of it! It’s allllllll coming up roses for you now!

5 Ways to Embrace Feeling Extravagant

You deserve to feel like this all the time! Why? Because why wouldn’t you want to? Are you a Greek statue carved from marble? Maybe! You feel that good! We’re going to give you a few tips on how to embrace this feeling so that the good vibes keep coming your way: 

1. Journal

Write about how you’re feeling and why you’re feeling this way. The more attention you give to this emotion, the more it can grow. So write about it all! If you’re ever not feeling as extravagant as you are today, you can always return to this journal entry to remind yourself that you ARE in fact deserving of this emotion. 

2. Visualize Your Happy Place

When you visualize your happy place when you’re in a good headspace, the more positive emotions will be associated with it. When you’re eventually not in a good headspace and need to go to your happy place for some peace, you’ll have this badass energy waiting there to help pick you up too. 

3. Practice Gratitude

Practicing gratitude for the things in your life can bring about so much positive energy! It’s wild! So, to help cultivate your gratitude and extravagance, you can start off being grateful for all the good emotions and feeling that you’re experiencing today. From there, you can be grateful for yourself, then your friends, then more and more and more! Start inward and work outward. 

4. Connect with a Friend

Have the good vibes flow between the two of you! The more positive energy there is, the more you’ll create. Sometimes, we just need a friend to celebrate the wins with us and have a fun time! So, call up your bestie and let the world know how badass the two of you are!

5. Meditate

Sometimes it benefits us to sit with an emotion for a bit and learn more about ourselves in the silence. Meditating on the emotion of extravagance also allows us to learn more about that feeling, and teach us to access it whenever we want! 

 

There you have it! We don’t really need to give you any more advice because you’re already “feeling your oats” as Gian Gunn would say. So go feel them, sew them, eat them! Do whatever you want today because you’re extravagant af, baby!

 

‘Do I Need Therapy?’ 15 Signs You Would Benefit From It

Deciding that you’ll be going to therapy is huge. HUGE, we tell you! So you should feel super proud of yourself for taking this step towards bettering your mental wellbeing, even if this whole therapy thing is uncharted territory for you. But part of you might be wondering…Do I really NEED therapy, though? You could be experiencing some self-doubt and second guessing whether your inner thoughts, feelings or life problems are even important/big enough for therapy. 

We’re here to tell you that no matter what you’re going through, therapy is a 10/10 option that you should really consider trying out. ‘Cause here’s the thing: Everyone deserves to feel heard. Everyone deserves a chance to work through their emotions, the good and the bad. You deserve the opportunity to improve your mental wellbeing and live your best life!

If you’re still unsure, that’s okay! Here are some signs that you would benefit from therapy. 

1. Your Sleep Schedule Is Not Ideal

Do you toss and turn all night? Hit snooze on every alarm in the morning ‘cause you just can’t get out of bed? Feel super tired all of the time, even though you’re technicallyyy getting enough hours of sleep every night?

If it’s a YES to any, or all, of the above, there could be something else going on (ahem, like stress…or anxiety…or depression) that won’t let you catch those ZZZs. Lack of sleep is linked to poor mental AND physical health, so don’t put off getting the help you need!

2. You’re Grieving

Grief is the painful emotion you feel when you’ve lost someone, or something, that means a lot to you. You could be grieving someone’s death, the end of a relationship, the loss of a job, or even the effects of climate change. But the good news is, you don’t have to go through it alone!

Grief therapy can be incredibly healing as it helps you process alllll the things you’re feeling, even those yucky emotions you’d rather ignore so they’ll just go away on their own (pssst…they won’t go away on their own. Talk to someone!). 

3. Your Appetite or Relationship with Food Has Changed

Maybe you have no appetite at all, even though you know that food = fuel and you gotta get those nutrients in. Maybe you struggle with binge-eating in private and feeling sooo ashamed when it happens. Maybe you have poor body image and have set some super restrictive eating habits to get the ‘perfect beach bod’ before summer rolls around. These are just a few signs that your relationship with food isn’t physically or mentally healthy, at all. 

Drastic changes in your diet could be signalling emotional eating, eating disorders, anxiety or depression and might be signs that you need counselling. Having an initial convo with a therapist could be suuuuper eye-opening to figure out if you need a bit of support right now! And getting the support you need is NEVER a bad thing.  

4. You Rely on Substances to Cope with Your Feelings

If you’re under a lot of stress, or having a tough time dealing with your emotions, you might turn to substances to cope. Self-medicating with alcohol and drugs can alleviate the pain or distress you’re feeling in the moment, but they’re just a temporary escape and won’t help you in the long run.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with having some patio beers with friends or enjoying a glass of wine while streaming The Bachelor. But developing a dependency on substances is obvs not healthy for your mental OR physical health, especially if they change your behaviour and put you (or others around you) in harm’s way. Going to therapy might be the right approach in this situation and make a huge difference in how you cope with and/or recover from a substance use concern. 

5. You’ve Experienced Trauma

Trauma is a lasting emotional response to something really terrible that has happened to you. Whether it was something ongoing in your childhood (like abuse) or a one-time event as an adult (like a bad car crash), the long-term effects of trauma can be really hard to manage on your own.

When the effects of trauma are ongoing and unresolved, they can develop into a condition called post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Finding a therapist who specializes in trauma recovery can be helpful to work through any past or recent trauma! If there’s ever a time when you should consider therapy, it’s when you’re dealing with trauma. Having professional support in your recovery can make a huge difference.

6. You’re Going Through a Breakup

Going through a breakup fucking sucks — there’s no other way to put it. When you’re in a relationship, you become used to the constant dopamine hits and lovey-dovey feelings on a regular basis. 

So when that’s over and done? Oof, it’s rough. It’s like you’re going through love withdrawal. Chances are, you really miss the good times you shared with that person, no matter how things ended. Talking about it in therapy can help you navigate all of your feels and eventually move on from the relationship. 

7. You’re Not Interested in Things That Usually Bring You Joy

When we’re going through some shit, we typically turn to the things that make us feel happy. Maybe you like to get up early and watch the sun rise with a cup of coffee. Or you might take your dog to the park and watch them run around with other furry friends. To unwind after work, you might light a candle, sink into a warm bath filled with allll the nice-smelling things. It could even be something as simple as re-watching our comfort show for the 76483th time.

But now, those activities that once filled you with joy just kinda feel…meh. It’s a huge bummer, and you’re not sure why those little things just don’t do it for you anymore. There could be an underlying problem going on, but good news — working through it in therapy can help bring that spark back!

8. Your Motivation Is Non-Existent

When the state of your mental health is no bueno, you’re probably not gonna be performing your best at school or work. It’s not that you’re lazy, or you wanna give up when things get too hard, it’s just that you’ve got no motivation. and it doesn’t matter how badly you WANT to feel motivated or productive. It’s just. not. there.

Maybe you’ve noticed your grades are slipping or that you’re always behind at work. Therapy can help you find the source of this problem and tackle it head-on, so that you can go back to kicking ass in the classroom/workroom like you usually do!

9. Your Mood Is All Over the Place

It’s normal to feel anxious, sad or angry sometimes. Life, right? It does things to us. But if it feels like you’re crying one minute and lashing out at someone the next (like, all the time) then hold up! This could mean that you’re struggling with regulating your emotions and need to learn ways to manage them a lil’ bit better.

Lucky for you, your therapist is kind of an expert at this stuff. They’ll guide you on how to regulate these back-and-forth emotions (and the source of these emotions) so they don’t rule your life!

10. You Just Don’t Care

That’s it, that’s the tweet. You just DGAF about yourself, your life, anything. 

11. You Worry All the Time

It’s normal to worry now and then, but constant anxiety? It can be super overwhelming to deal with, not to mention hella draining. Always worrying about possible scenarios, what other people think of you, and other stressors that play on a constant loop in your brain? Nuh-uh, we’re not having it anymore!

If anxious thoughts are controlling you, we’ll say it again…therapy. You’ll learn how to accept, manage and reframe these thoughts so that you can work through them when they show up!

12. You Feel Hopeless

Feeling hopeless about your situation or your future can be a scary feeling. It’s like there’s no end in sight to the hard times, and nothing to look forward to. You might feel like just giving up on even trying, ‘cause what’s the point? It’s not like things are gonna change…

Wrong. Things can abso-freakin-lutely get better for you. There is always hope, friend. You just might need some help along the way, and there’s NO shame in that.

13. You Isolate Yourself

You get a text from your mom checking in, but just can’t bring yourself to answer. Your friends ask you to hang out on the weekend, but you make up some B.S. excuse so you don’t have to go. Maybe you avoid the lunchroom at work so you don’t have to socialize with your coworkers, even though you do like them.

Everyone needs some alone time (especially if you’re an introvert who needs to unwind after socializing all day). But withdrawing socially could mean that you’re avoiding people ‘cause you don’t want them to see you struggling. Then you just end up feeling more lonely, and the cycle goes on!

14. The People in Your Life Are Worried About You

Sometimes we don’t see what’s right in front of us, but our loved ones do. If you’ve been getting a lot of “Are you okay? I’m worried about you…” then there’s probs a reason.

Instead of getting angry or upset with them, or even pushing them away, maybe accept there’s some truth in what your friends and fam are saying. Maybe you haven’t been yourself lately, and the people who care most about you have started to notice. They wanna support you, so hear them out if they’re showing concern for your wellbeing!

15. You’re a Human Being

Are you a human being? Do you have thoughts? Feelings? Okay, now select all images that contain a stop sign so we know for sure you’re not actually a robot…

Kidding. Of course we know you’re human. That’s why we remind you that everyyyone can benefit from going to therapy. You don’t have to wait for a tragic thing to happen, or be struggling with a diagnosed mental illness. We all have mental health, and we all deserve to feel heard and validated. Talking through our problems can be really helpful, no matter what our personal situation might be. Everyone can benefit from some guidance and learning how to cope with the everyday bullshit, right? Right.

 

SO, there you have it. A long list of signs you need therapy or could benefit from it! Does everyone need therapy? At one point or another, we could all benefit from it! Remember: there’s no shame in the therapy game. We support you, no matter what route you take towards bettering your mental health!

 

Feeling Daring: A Guide to Your Emotions

You woke up today feeling confident, excited, and willing to take risks. Ooooo those risks! They’re calling to you like a mermaid calls to a pirate. The temptation is so real, but you’re ready to give in! Hmmm… this is starting to sound a bit too sexy. Let’s give you some examples and turn down the heat! 

Daring can take a lot of different forms. Maybe you’re an adrenaline junkie and are craving a skydive or bungee jump. You love the feeling of your toes dangling over the edge and hanging above an incredible height. It’s not so much the actual jump that you love, but rather the anticipation of the jump. 

The feeling of daring can also come up in smaller ways. Did that yogurt in your fridge go bad? ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT, BABY! 

A Deeper Look at Feeling Daring 

This feeling of daring doesn’t mean that you have to risk life and limb every time you take a chance. It can sometimes mean being brave and making a change that will benefit you and change your life for the better. Is your job super shitty? Maybe you’re feeling daring enough to quit. Are you in a bad relationship? Dare to break up with this person and make the change that you need. 

Being daring can actually be a form of self-care when you think about it! It can mean facing something scary and hard, but choosing to go through it anyway! That’s kind of sweet and amazing when you think about it. 

Dictionary.com has a simple, succinct, and clear definition of daring that we 100% agree with. They say that it means “adventurous courage; boldness.” But like we said, some people see being daring as an opportunity to improve a shitty situation they’re caught in. Others can see it as a chance to parachute out of a plane for fun and get their adrenaline pumping! If you ARE gonna use skydiving as a form of self care, though, PLEASE BE CAREFUL! We love risks but we always wanna make sure that you’re being safe. Wow, we sound like a parent! “Make good choices, please!” 

How Feeling Daring Shows Up Mentally 

You feel the need, the need for… speed? Adventure? Something along those lines. But how does the feeling of daring show up mentally? It’s often a feeling associated with action and results, but it can also be one that lived in that sweet little brain of yours. Here’s how: 

  • Better confidence
  • Increased happiness
  • Increased mindfulness
  • Lower stress levels

See? That sounds pretty great to us! When you feel daring, you feel like nothing can stop you and you actually end up living in the moment, which increases your mindfulness. How cool is that!? You are taking a risk and going for the things that you really want in life, so of course, you’re going to feel happy. You’re living the dream, baby!

How Feeling Daring Shows Up Physically 

Everyone’s definition of daring is a little different. Getting a tattoo might be the most adventurous thing that someone might do in their life, and hiking up a mountain and parasailing off is another person’s average Wednesday. So it all depends on the individual, but here are some common ways that everyone exudes this daring feeling: 

  • Increased energy 
  • Increased activity 
  • Motivation to achieve goals
  • Pushes comfort zone 

When you feel daring, you stop holding yourself back from what you really want. You’ll begin to see your life open up and experience things in ways that you never thought you would before. It sounds cheesy, but IT’S TRUEEE! We don’t lie. When you start to dare, you start asking for and going for the things that you really want in life. It’s magical! Sometimes scary, but MAGICAL!

5 Ways to Embrace Feeling Daring 

1. Journal

Yep! Dream big and journal alllll about it. What do you want in life? How are you going to accomplish it? What do you want to be daring about? Write it down! When you see your goals on paper, it can help you realize what steps to need to take to dare to do what you’ve been dreaming of!

2. Practice Deep Breathing

If you want to calm down and really dive into why you’re feeling daring, take some deep breaths. There are tons of breathing exercises that you can try out and do to help you tune into this emotion. 

3. Give Yourself a Pep Talk / Use a Helpful Statement

We could ALL use a pep talk every now and then. Are you feeling daring but are still a bit scared to follow through with what you want to do? Look in the mirror and say “I can do this!” – or something like that! Whatever you need to hear to help yourself out, say it! 

4. Practice Progressive Muscle Relaxation

If you want to have a mindful moment with yourself, try progressive muscle relaxation. This is where you tense every individual muscle in your body one at a time. Start at the bottom of your body and move allll the way up to your head. If you need some guidance, there are definitely some great videos on YouTube that you can listen to! 

5. Move Your Body

Sometimes feeling daring can come with a lot of nervous energy! You’re excited to do the thing but you have all of this extra energy that you don’t have anywhere to put. So, go move that body of yours! Move in a way that brings you joy. You don’t have to go to the gym if you don’t want to, so you can dance instead! Maybe go for a happy little walk. It’s totally up to you!

 

You’re a badass! Did you know that? Yep, this feeling of daring comes with the label of badass, so we hope that you’re ready to wear it! You’re doing great things and we can’t wait to see what you dare to do!

 

10 Ways to Stay Sober & Manage Stress During Your Recovery

Recovery isn’t an easy thing to do. “Thanks, Captain Obvious!” Yaaaa, we know, we know! But it’s true! You basically have to ignore every urge and cue that your body is sending you. We know, and you know, that it took soooooo much fucking work to get to this place in your life and you are NOT ready to mess it up. 

We want to see you succeed and THRIVE so here are 10 ways to help manage your stress and stay sober during your recovery!

1. Know Your Triggers

This is a biiiig one! Think about what people, places, and circumstances make you want to relapse. Maybe it’s an emotional state that makes you want to revert back to your old habits. Whatever it is, make sure that you avoid it so that you have the best chance possible at staying sober! 

Here are some common triggers to look out for: 

  • Stress
  • People or places related to addictive behaviour 
  • Difficult emotions 
  • Seeing or sensing the object that fuels your addiction 
  • Celebratory events 
  • Financial problems 

2. Recognize Relapse Warning Signs

If you’ve entered the recovery process before, you might know what it looks like when you’re about to relapse. If you do, make sure that you keep your eye out for the warning signs. You know yourself better than anyone, so we can’t tell you what those might be, but here are some common signs that you might be about to relapse: 

Change in Your Attitude

You might decide that going to therapy, or keeping up with your recovery program or sponsor, just isn’t as important as it used to be. You might think that something feels wrong or off, but you just can’t put your finger on it. 

Increased Stress

If you find that you aren’t reacting to change well, or are having large mood swings or outbursts of emotion, don’t be afraid to reach out for some extra support when facing a stressful situation. It’s normal to experience anxiety or stress while in recovery, so don’t be ashamed if you need to ask for extra help. 

Denial

This old friend might come back to say hellooooo. It might look a little different this time, though. Instead of denying your addiction, you might be denying stress. You could be convincing yourself that everything is fine and that you don’t need to address the stress you’re under — or any other emotional factors that are impacting your recovery. Allow yourself to feel all the feeeeels!

Withdrawal Symptoms

Sometimes withdrawal symptoms last much longer than we might anticipate. Anxiety, depression, memory loss and insomnia can last longer than we want them to. These can be hard to cope with because you might feel tempted to soothe yourself and give in to your addiction. 

Behaviour Changes

Watch your reaction to people, places and situations where you become defensive, argumentative and reactive. Of course, these are natural emotions to have and experience, but if the situation doesn’t really call for it, then you might need to reach out for help. 

Social Withdrawal

You might start feeling uncomfortable when you’re with others and want to hermit away and hide. We get it! But it’s important that you keep going to group therapy, and relying on your support system. 

Lack Of Control

You might be making irrational choices and can’t seem to help yourself! These decisions could be related to your addiction, or just be reckless life choices (like buying a dog that you don’t have the resources to take care of). 

Limiting Options

You’ve stopped group therapy, regular therapy, talking with your sponsor, completing your treatments or taking your medications.

3. Change Your Routine and Social Groups

Sometimes, keeping up with our old routines (and seeing the same people we saw when we were using) can make us want to use again. So, change up the game! Get some new, healthy habits that make you feel good and avoid temptation.

This also might mean finding a new group of friends to hang around with. If your friends were the ones tempting you in the first place, you might have part ways. It’s a hard thing to do, but you have to think about what moves are going to be in your best interest. 

4. Build Healthy Relationships

Make sure that you’re surrounding yourself with people who are going to be good for you. These will be people who have your best interests in mind and genuinely want you to succeed in your recovery. 

They aren’t going to pressure, or tempt, you into going back into your old habits. And they’re going to be the ones that support you endlessly with infinite amounts of patience and care. 

5. Be Prepared for PAWS

PAWS? Like, puppy paws? Unfortunately, no. PAWS stands for Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome. Initial detox and withdrawal symptoms tend to subside after about two weeks. But sometimes if a person has consumed a significant amount of a substance for a long period of time, these symptoms can last from 6 months to 2 years. 

Good news is that even though PAWS can suck SO much, you are able to control it with the help of medical professionals. Those who specialize in treating addiction, and aiding a person’s recovery process, can help you work through this process without relapsing. 

6. Use Online Recovery Tools 

If you’re reading this in 2021, we’re uh…still in a pandemic. If you’re reading this in the future, how is it? Better? 

Anyway, if you’re still in the same timeline as we are, and unable to access in-person treatments, or live in a really remote area, online support options are amazing!!

There are a lot of online support groups and treatment options. Mental health professionals and therapists are now conducting appointments by Telehealth or other video platforms. Isn’t technology awesome? It’s helping make mental health treatment so much more accessible and we looove it!

7. Stay Connected to Your Support Network 

Whether it’s your support groups, your therapist, your family, your friends or alllll of them combined — stay in touch! 

Think of your recovery like building a house. Your support network is the foundation! They’re there to help keep you strong, and help you to build yourself up each and every day!

So, keep in touch with them. Stay connected! And don’t be afraid to reach out when you need help. 

8. Find Distractions/Activities You Enjoy

Sometimes to stay sober, we need to keep our minds and bodies busy to help us work through any feelings, cravings, or urges we might have. 

So, make sure you find things to do that you enjoy! Spend your time experiencing things that make you happy. Happiness will positively impact every aspect of your life, so make sure that you’re indulging in some healthy, happy (and really fucking awesome) things that bring you the most joy EVER!

9. Communicate Openly 

Don’t hold it in! If you think that you need to talk to someone, TALK! Pushing your emotions, feelings, urges and thoughts deeeep down doesn’t help at all. It’s healthy to need to talk about the hard things you’re experiencing, and it’s a lot to take on as just one person. The people in your life love and care about you, so don’t be afraid to lean on them for support and talk to them when you need help. They’re there to love you and help you stay sober! 

10. Celebrate Your Milestones 

GET SOME PARTY HATS AND CELEBRATE, BABY! You have worked incredibly hard to stay sober and get to this point and you need to celebrate every single accomplishment. One day sober? Celebrate! One week? Get yourself a cake! One month? Celebrate again! You deserve to feel good about what you’ve accomplished and how far you’ve come. You’re proving to yourself that it IS possible to succeed in your recovery! 

 

We hope that this helped! Maybe it gave you a better understanding of what to prepare for as you enter your recovery journey, or maybe it just served as a reminder of how to care for yourself as you move forward with it. Whatever the case may be, we are SO PROUD OF YOU! Staying sober is doing the hard shit and we can’t give you enough props for it. Keep on keepin’ on, friend!

 

Feeling Joyful: A Guide to Your Emotions

When we talk about our emotions, it seems like it’s usually the negative ones. That’s not a bad thing! It’s helpful to work through our tough feelings and let them all out as needed. But ya know what we should talk about more? Feeling joyful! All of the GOOD feelings, really. ‘Cause talking about how happy we are and how good we feel is severely underrated! Maybe we talk about it less because 1) we don’t wanna humble brag and 2) we can get into a habit of being fixers or problem solvers. We’re always trying to work our way “through” something, usually stress or anxiety about whatever is going on in our lives. And nobody’s looking for a cure for happiness… that would be ridiculous, right?!

But we’re here to tell you that recognizing your happiness is super important. We should all be talking about our joy when we feel it! So let’s dive thru feeling joyful and how to embrace this all around happy emotion.

A Deeper Look at Feeling Joyful

To get more technical, what does it mean to feel joyful? APA Dictionary defines joy as: “n. a feeling of extreme gladness, delight, or exaltation of the spirit arising from a sense of well-being or satisfaction.” WOW. That’s quite a definition. But it’s pretty spot on, wouldn’t ya say?

When we feel happiness, it can be from a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction with our lives. And that can look totally different for everyone! We might experience happiness from our job, or pursuing an education and continuing to learn. Our personal relationships with family, friends and romantic partners can bring us a lot of joy if the relationships are healthy and positive. Feeling cared for, loved, appreciated and recognized in all areas of our life can be so important for our mental wellbeing.

A few simple ways to maintain more joy in our lives is to appreciate the moment and implement intrinsic motivation. For a lot of us, we might focus so much on the future and achieving milestones that we forget to appreciate the present and the little things that make us happy. This can cause us to feel more stress and anxiety in the long run. Intrinsic motivation allows us to pursue our goals and activities just because we enjoy them, without setting expectations for external awards. Take running for example. You don’t have to set goals for your runs, or train for a marathon if you don’t feel like it. Run simply because it’s something that makes you happy and feel good! No strings attached. Doing things that bring us happiness without a reward or punishment in mind can be a great shift in mindset.

How Feeling Joyful Shows Up Mentally

Your mental wellbeing improves significantly when you’re joyful. You’re probably thinking: nooo, ya don’t say?! But we’re here to shout it from the rooftops! ‘Cause joy is an underrated emotion and we need to talk about it more. Let’s look at all of the positive symptoms that feeling joyful provides for your mental health:

  • Lifts your mood
  • Reduces stress and anxiety
  • Increases attentiveness and focus
  • Boosts productivity
  • Sparks creativity
  • Improves analytical skills
  • Promotes good thoughts
  • Increases motivation

When we feel joy, our brains release the neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin throughout your body. Since your mind is so happy, it wants the rest of your body to feel good, too! Awww, isn’t that so sweet?!

How Feeling Joyful Shows Up Physically

Did ya know that happiness has some great physical benefits too, not just mental? It’s true! When you feel joyful, your body reacts in positive ways. Here are a few physical symptoms you might experience when you’re jumping for joy:

  • Reduces cortisol levels
  • Lowers blood pressure
  • Strengthens immune system
  • Provides better sleep
  • Improves digestion
  • Reduces pain
  • Lengthens lifespan

Clearly, joy is great for your overall health. Even when you’re feeling down, you can actually trick yourself into feeling happier. It might sound like B.S. but would we lie to you?! Try this out: whenever you’re feeling blue, try smiling or telling yourself a stupid joke that will make you laugh. Your mind perceives smiling as you feeling joy, even if it’s fake! Guess the saying “fake it til’ you make it” has some truth there.

5 Ways to Embrace Feeling Joyful

Now, how do we enjoy this good feeling while it lasts? We’ve got just the strategies for you! Try out some of these methods for yourself. They will bring a lil’ extra joy in your life, guaranteed!

1. Move Your Body

We’ve got one word for you: endorphins. We know that exercise boosts endorphins, which make you happy! Even if physical activity isn’t your fave, there’s lots of fun ways to get active. Go for a walk, run, swim, bike, rock climbing, yoga, you name it. Dance around your room to a fun playlist like nobody’s watching, if that’s more your style! Whatever way you like, just get movin’.

2. Engage in Compassionate Self Talk

Speaking to ourselves positively has been shown to improve our mental wellness. Does it feel silly and weird at first? Maybeee a bit. But it’s a great habit to start, so why not give it a shot? Tell yourself what you like about yourself, what you’re proud of and what makes you feel joy. You might surprise yourself!

3. Connect with a Friend

Our true friends are there for us when we need them most by making our day a little brighter. So why not connect with a friend and pass on the good vibes you’re feeling?! Ask to go out for a coffee, a nice stroll in the park, or even FaceTime just to catch up. Spending time with our friends is a great way to maintain our good spirits!

4. Journal

Try writing out exactly how you’re feeling and what made you feel this way. Can’t stop smiling because you received a nice compliment? Feel on top of the world thanks to your amazing test score? Expressing your feelings can give you clarity and feels really great, so jot it all down in detail! Your hand might start to cramp, but so what? Totally worth it.

5. Practice Gratitude

Noticing the positives in life is great, and showing gratitude for them is even better! That might include writing a list of things that bring you joy, volunteering in your community, or showing acts of kindness to the people who make your life better. It honestly feels great for everyone involved, so why not try it out for yourself!

Okay, you little ray of sunshine. That’s all we have for now! We hope this made your day even brighter, and that you radiate some of that good energy to the people around you. Chances are, they could use some joy, too!

 

Why Sexuality Is Important: The Benefits of Coming to Terms with Yours

Isn’t it strange how there is the expectation that everyone is straight unless they say otherwise? This expectation is called compulsory heterosexuality. It’s a totally patriarchal and heteronormative idea that heterosexuality is the “natural” and expected state for people to default to.

It’s enforced in society starting when kids are just babies. BABIES! You might not think this is the case, but how many times has a little baby boy smiled at someone and a person says, “Oh he’s going to be a ladies man one day!” Probably a lot. But we don’t know if that child will grow up to be gay, bi, trans, pan, poly, or asexual! And we’ve only listed just a few of the ways individuals can express their gender identity and sexual orientation. Although we know that sexuality is fluid, society has decided that the baseline for sexual identification is heterosexual.

This can make coming to terms with your sexuality really difficult. You’re put into one box your whole life when inside, you know you were meant to be in a different one or no box at all! It creates an internal struggle that many people in the queer community go through and it can cause a lot of emotional pain.

This is why it’s important to accept your sexuality–whatever that might look like for you.

Questioning your sexuality and coming to terms with it can be a hard thing to do sometimes. If you’re one of the lucky people who has always known their sexual identity and came out at an early age or just was Queer, congrats! That’s amazing! However, some of us realized that they’re part of the LGBTQIA2S+ community in their mid-twenties. We’re a little late to the game but that’s ok!

The important thing is that you’ve accepted your sexuality. Why? Because there are a ton of benefits that come along with it!

1. Improved Mental Wellness

Accepting your sexuality actually has incredible mental health benefits. Many studies show that people who come out, or at least accept their sexual identity, have lower stress markers, fewer mental health problems, and less of a chance of physically hurting and harming themselves.

Being accepting of who you are takes away the pressure of keeping this big and important secret inside of you. Trying to pretend that you don’t feel a certain way can be painful and cause a lot of trauma to a person.

Accepting who you are is kind of like popping a balloon. You’re filled with all of this pressure and your emotions build up so much that it hurts! But then you POP the balloon and the pressure is released. You can breathe again, relax, and be yourself!

2. Increase in Self Esteem

When you accept your sexuality, you often become more sure of yourself, and more content with the life you’re living. Accepting this part of who you are allows you to live the way you were meant to and create the kind of life that you want.

You’ll be able to walk around with confidence knowing that you’re Queer af (in the best ways of course)!

3. Being Part 0f a Community

Being part of a community to many people means being accepted. When you accept your sexuality, you’re then able to create connections with people in the Queer Community. It gives you a sense of belonging, safety, and the feeling of unconditional love from the people around you.

Many people in the Queer Community have gone through some hard shit and have come together to create a place of love. Being part of something so supportive will help you create your own little family in an environment where people accept you for who you are, unconditionally.

4. Building Your Identity

Finally coming to terms with and accepting your sexuality can feel like a breath of fresh air. A weight is lifted off of your shoulders because you are finally able to live as your true self.

You might’ve heard the term “authentic self” before, and it can kind of seem cheesy, but it’s accurate! Living as your authentic self can be such a freeing experience. No chains. No weights. Nothing to hold you down!

5. Deepening Relationships

Hiding your sexuality can be painful. It can feel like you’re keeping a large part of yourself from the people you love and care about the most. But once you share this side of yourself, the relationships with these people can deepen and become even stronger than before! 

People tend to connect when we share vulnerable parts of ourselves. It shows that we can trust the other person while still bonding over experiences. It creates a support system over time and helps people build healthy relationships together. 

Soooo, cry your eyes out and share your story! You might just make a new best friend.

6. Dating Who You Want 

When you come out and accept your sexuality, you get to make out with whoeverrrr you want! You don’t have to kiss people or go on dates with the gender you aren’t attracted to anymore. You get to go out with hot people who you have a genuine attraction to! 

No more compulsory heterosexuality here!

Ready to meet some amazing, new people? Taimi is a LGBTQ+ social network and dating app with over 10 million users! Whether you’re looking for romance, new friends, to network, or just to chat with someone for fun, Taimi is a safe and secure space for people of all gender and sexuality identities and expressions. 

Accepting your sexuality can feel like you’ve finally realized the fullest version of yourself. But we’re going to tell you that it’s always going to be a journey of self-discovery, and that’s ok! This is just the beginning of a fantastic and beautiful process where you will continually find new and amazing pieces of yourself that you weren’t able to express before.

So, we’ll be the first to say hello! It’s nice to meet you. We’re so glad that you came out to join us!

 

*This article is sponsored by Taimi.

Dating Someone with Anxiety? 8 Ways to Support Your Partner

Anxiety is the pits! Your brain feels like it’s on fire, your chest feels heavy and tight, and there is an overwhelming fear that you can’t shake no matter how hard you try. The worst part is that no amount of logical thinking, or reasoning with yourself and your brain, can make it subside! But what if it’s not you going through it? Dating someone with anxiety, and seeing the person you love hurting, can be almost as hard as having anxiety yourself.  

It’s hard to understand what anxiety feels like when you don’t have it, and it’s even harder to know how to help when you yourself haven’t experienced it. And, even if you have experienced anxiety, everyone’s anxiety needs are different. 

Dating someone with anxiety can be a major challenge. You don’t want to over-step, you might be afraid of making things worse, or you just don’t know where to start. But don’t worry! That’s why we’re here to help you walk through some ways that you can be a strong support to your partner with anxiety! 

1. Listen 

Listen to what your partner needs. This might sound like really simple advice but it’s really, REALLY necessary if you want to support your partner. Listening to their needs, their anxieties, their feelings, their emotions, their triggers, their fears…it’s all part of loving someone who has that anxious gremlin in their brain! 

 

 

2. Don’t Try to Fix Them 

If you don’t have anxiety yourself, you might see your partner’s anxiety as something to fix, solve, or end. Unfortunately, anxiety isn’t something that ever really goes away. People who have anxiety just become really good at coping with it. 

Wanting to fix someone’s anxiety is a sweet and beautiful thought. You just want to take away your partner’s pain! But anxiety isn’t something to try and get rid of. That’s not the goal! The goal is to manage it. Sometimes, just because something isn’t easy, doesn’t mean that it has to be fixed. 

3. Don’t Ask If They’re Okay, Ask How They’re Doing

Are you confused yet? Don’t worry, we’ll explain! 

Don’t ask your partner if they’re okay. Ask them “Hey, how are you doing?” Asking if they’re okay won’t get you very far in conversation because they’re definitely not okay! If you ask how they are, it’s more of an open invitation to express their feelings. 

4. Ask How You Can Support Them 

Ask them what they need. Make sure that you ask them this both during and after panic attacks. When they’re not in the midst of a panic attack, they can then give you clear and informed answers as to what grounding/breathing/anxiety-reducing techniques work for them. 

If you ask this question to your partner when they’re experiencing a panic attack, they might not be able to articulate, or even think about, strategies that can help them in that moment. So, talk to your partner about how you can help support them when their brain and body aren’t preoccupied with anxiety. You’ll be able to enter other situations with a tool belt full of grounding techniques to assist them when they’re taking a quick trip to panic attack city! 

5. Help Them Find Treatment 

If your partner needs an extra hand with their mental health, help them find a mental health professional that they could receive therapy from. 

They might be too anxious to know where, or how, to start this process. So, that’s where you come in! Help them learn about the different types of therapists available for them to see, help them learn about the different types of therapeutic modalities, and even help find a therapist that they can book a possible consult with. 

Chances are that a task like finding a therapist feels suuuper overwhelming and completely impossible, so they’re going to need your help! Type questions into that fancy Google-machine on their behalf and watch the therapists roll in! 

6. Look After Your Own Mental Health 

It’s important to care for your own mental health as well! Anxiety can affect both people in the relationship — not just the person who has it. So, make sure that you’re looking after your own mental health. This might mean going to therapy yourself, going to couples therapy with your partner, or just making sure that you practice regular self-care. 

It can be hard to do, but caring for your own mental health means establishing and maintaining boundaries with your partner. You can still support and love your partner, but don’t tolerate, or accept, negative or abusive behaviour — even if your partner is having an anxiety or panic attack that causes them to lash out. This negative behaviour can include: 

  • Insults
  • Accusations
  • Threats
  • Physical or verbal abuse 

7. Help Them Feel Safe

When dating someone with anxiety, it’s important to understand that they can experience fight, flight, or freeze when they’re having an anxiety or panic attack. This means that their mind and body think that they’re in immediate physical danger when they might actually be totally safe. Ugh, brains…they’re confusing shit! 

Help them get out of this fight, flight, or freeze mode by helping them feel safe. Practice grounding techniques with your partner, wrap them in a blanket to soothe their nervous system, or put on a soothing movie that they love. Be someone they can trust and rely on to feel safe when everything in their body and mind is telling them that they aren’t. 

8. Learn About Anxiety

Google that shit! If you don’t know a lot about anxiety, what it is, and how it affects the mind and body, do some research! There are about one trillion-bazillion-million (Yes, that’s a number. No we won’t be taking arguments) videos that you can watch about it on YouTube. Online you can also find countless studies that have been published, as well as entire mental health organizations dedicated to anxiety and anxiety education.

When you perform your own research, it shows that you want to learn how to best care for your loved one and that you want to empathize with their experience. To someone with anxiety, the words “I did some research about it so that I can better understand what you’re going through,” are the most beautiful words we could ever hear! 

If you’re dating someone with anxiety, your partner will appreciate you taking the time to help make their life — and their experiences with anxiety — a little bit easier. It’s some heavy shit to carry around on your own, so helping your S.O. carry some of that weight will mean the world to them! 

 

Feeling Submissive: A Guide to Your Emotions

When we’re feeling submissive, we basically go along with what other people want. We let them take charge or make all of the decisions without really speaking up about our own needs. Even if it makes us uncomfortable or unhappy, we might feel submissive in our personal relationships for lots of reasons. Maybe we worry that if we speak up, we’ll get push-back. Or we might worry that we’ll upset someone or step on their toes. We might feel like our ideas, thoughts or feelings just don’t matter that much to other people, so why bother even trying? It’s easier to just go with the flow and follow the leader, right?

It’s not easy to speak up for yourself, we know. Depending on the situation, you might struggle with knowing whether or not you have the “right” to share how you feel. But we’re here to tell you that your thoughts and emotions are valid, always. So let’s dive thru feeling submissive, ways it impacts your wellbeing and how to cope!

A Deeper Look at Feeling Submissive

What does it really mean to feel submissive? Hmm, let’s take a look! APA Dictionary describes submissiveness as: “n. a tendency to comply with the wishes or obey the orders of others.” Basically, their wish is your command! 

You might feel like going along with what someone else says or taking their direction? Is this a bad thing? Not necessarily! There’s a lot of situations where you’re expected to comply with someone’s orders. Um, have you ever had a boss? Or been in a classroom? Or had a parental figure when you were growing up? We were expected to obey their rules and do as they asked, but that’s totally normal.

Other times, though, feeling submissive isn’t so great. Maybe you’re dealing with someone who has a lot of control over you and your life. It could be a family member, close friend or even your partner. It seems like everything always has to go their way, or things go south very quickly. So instead of speaking up and saying things like: “Actually, Friday night would work better for me,” you keep quiet. Better to compromise what you want to avoid upsetting them, right? Wrong.

In other situations, feeling submissive has more to do with how we perceive ourselves. Maybe you have a really great boss who seems open to new ideas and input, but you still don’t offer your opinion, ever. You don’t see yourself as worth their time or a valuable part of the team, even though that’s not the case!

Setting boundaries with people can also be a struggle for so many of us. People could be crossing our boundaries everyday, even if they don’t mean any harm, but we might let it go because we don’t want to seem difficult or like a poor sport. Maybe you’re a people pleaser who can’t seem to say “no” because you just hate the risk of disappointing people. So yet again, you compromise your feelings for other people.

It’s mentally and emotionally draining. You are so tired of letting things slide, or complying with what other people want 100 percent of the time. But it doesn’t have to be this way! You can get through feeling submissive and this fear of standing up for yourself. We’re here for you!

How Feeling Submissive Shows Up Mentally

Inside your head, dealing with feeling submissive can be a lot to handle. It could even be all you think about because you just don’t know how to overcome it or where to begin trying! Here are a few mental signs you might notice when you’re going through this tricky emotion:

  • Low self-esteem
  • Negative self talk
  • Self doubt
  • Feelings of worthlessness
  • Feelings of hopelessness
  • Lack of communication
  • Isolating from others

After a while, these signs can seriously impact your life in negative ways. It can cause you to feel isolated from other people or want to distance yourself from others because you feel like you have no control over the situation. These signs can also develop into a mental illness such as anxiety or depression if they’re not dealt with appropriately. But you don’t have to navigate this feeling alone! Speaking to a mental health professional can help you get on the right track and understand how to set boundaries and work through your feelings.

How Feeling Submissive Shows Up Physically

When you feel submissive and like you don’t have any say or control over a situation, it’s not just on your mind. It’s written all over your face and your body language! Here are a few physical signs of feeling submissive:

  • Hunched shoulders
  • Lowering your head
  • Avoiding eye contact
  • Faking a smile
  • Fidgeting or biting your lip
  • Shaky voice

Going along with things you don’t actually want can also heighten your stress and anxiety levels. That can cause you to deal with nervous sweating or sweaty palms, increased heart rate, high blood pressure, chest pain, muscle tension, headache and stomach ache. You can also be more susceptible to getting sick because prolonged stress actually weakens your immune system. If you deal with these symptoms regularly, it’s helpful to seek professional help as they could be a sign of a more serious health problem or mental illness.

5 Ways to Cope with Feeling Submissive

Now that we have a better understanding of this emotion, let’s look at some coping strategies to work through feeling submissive! Don’t worry, they’re simple but effective. Try ‘em out for yourself!

1. Journal

There’s nothing quite like pouring out all of your emotions onto a page, we tell ya! Try writing down how you feel, where you think these feelings are coming from and explore those thoughts. This is also a helpful practice for reframing any negative thoughts you’re experiencing. Journaling gives you tons of clarity, to say the least! Releasing those feelings can help you move forward with a lot more perspective than before.

2. Give Yourself a Pep Talk

Sometimes, we gotta give ourselves a little pep talk in order to turn those negative thoughts around. Try saying some encouraging phrases to yourself out loud: I feel submissive right now but I can overcome this feeling. My thoughts and emotions are important. It’s okay to speak up for myself and set boundaries. My words matter!

3. Reach Out for Support

Gaining the courage to speak up for yourself can be really intimidating and nerve wracking. Try reaching out to a friend, family member or loved one when you need to have a good ol’ vent session. They can be there to listen and support you, and maybe even offer up some advice if that’s what you need. Either way, just having them be there for you can make all the difference in the world!

4. Engage in Compassionate Self Talk

When we feel submissive and are afraid to speak our mind or set boundaries, we can be hard on ourselves. Maybe the voice inside your head is telling you that you’re weak, or that nobody will care how you feel anyway. Let’s flip the conversation and speak some kind and compassionate self talk instead! Try telling yourself out loud: It’s okay to speak up and set boundaries. They make me feel safe and respected. The people who truly care about how I feel will understand and respect my boundaries. My thoughts and feelings matter!

5. Comfort Yourself Like a Friend

If you don’t have anyone who can be there for you right now, that’s okay. You can be there for yourself! Think about how you would want a loved one to comfort you in this moment. Give yourself a pat on the back, write a list of the things you like about yourself, or go for a drive to think. Think of the reasons you might be feeling submissive, and encourage yourself to break free of those negative thoughts. You deserve to be happy!

That’s it, that’s all we’ve got for now! We hope this helped you understand this emotion more and how you can get through it like a champ. Remember: your thoughts and feelings matter!

 

How to Forgive Someone & Why You Should Do It for Yourself

We’ve all heard the phrase “forgive, but never forget.” Well…forgiveness can be a lot easier said than done! We’re diving in on how to forgive someone who hurt you, forgiveness without an apology, and why forgiveness is important. 

How to Forgive Someone

There are two key ways people can hurt us — by what they do to us, or by what they DON’T do. Both have to be acknowledged and both have to be grieved! Unfortunately, forgiveness is not a light switch that we can just turn on and off whenever we need it. So, before we can fully forgive someone, we have to see just how deep their needles stung, and assess the situation from there. 

10 Factors of Forgiveness

There are quite a few factors (10, in fact) that will dictate whether forgiveness will come easily, if it’ll be hard, or if it’ll be damn near impossible. 

1. Empathy: Can you see what historic trauma has led them to do that to you?

2. Rumination: How much are you thinking about what they did or how angry you are?

3. Personality: Are you a compassionate and kind person who tends to forgive easily?

4. Severity: How much did the experience hurt you and change how you view others?

5. Frequency: How many times were you hurt by this person? Is it a pattern?

6. History: How long has it been since you were directly impacted by this experience?

7. Relationship: Who hurt you and how much did you rely on them? A parent, a partner…?

8. Quality: What is the quality of the relationship you have with this person?

9. Hierarchy: Do you feel like you need to forgive them because they hold power over you?

10. Intention: Was the person intentionally trying to hurt you?

Now, intention can be perceived differently by you and the offender! You may feel like they were trying to hurt you on purpose, meanwhile they may say it was unintentional. It’s important to figure out the truth and focus on that, rather than hyper fixating on how it felt. 

An 11th, and very important, factor is whether or not the person even feels sorry. And that’s a whoooole other ball game. 

What Forgiveness Is, What Forgiveness Is Not

Forgiving someone isn’t acknowledging that you deserved whatever they did or said. It’s something you do to give yourself peace of mind or repair a damaged relationship. Not to mention, there are some pretty gnarly mental and physical symptoms that can pop when you keep pushing those feelings to the curb! So, let’s dive into what forgiveness entails and why it’s so important.

In 1992, psychologists Robert Enright, Elizabeth Gassin, and Ching-Ru Wu described forgiveness as “the overcoming of negative affect and judgement towards the offender — not by denying ourselves the right to have a negative affect and to judge others, but instead by endeavouring to view the offender with compassion, benevolence, and love.” 

How to Let Go of the Past

Learning how to forgive someone who hurt you is less about saying what they did was okay, and more about treating them with compassion and understanding. They’re human too, and likely acted out of their own trauma, pain, or heartbreak.

Remember in Grey’s Anatomy when April neglected to tell Jackson she was pregnant until after their divorce was finalized? He was suuuper upset, because that info would have changed a lot of things in their relationship. But, eventually, Jackson was able to forgive April to form a healthy co-parenting relationship — and they were happy for each other when they each found love again elsewhere!

Choosing to see the good in a bad situation, like the one of April and Jackson, doesn’t make you weak, but actually quite the opposite! It doesn’t mean you’re denying the seriousness of the experience, it doesn’t mean that you’re forgetting, and it doesn’t mean that the offender is excused. Instead, you have been freed of your anger because you chose positivity over negativity — and that takes some guts!

Forgiveness Without an Apology

Figuring out how to forgive someone who isn’t sorry for hurting you can be a tricky feat. It is SO frustrating, because they show no remorse and meanwhile you’re still suffering! It’s even worse if they’re continually hurting you and proving that there will never be an apology. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel, because there’s a big difference between forgiveness and reconciliation!  

Reconciliation would imply that you both want to fix things between you — and they clearly don’t! So, you can instead keep adopting those positive attitudes we talked about earlier and (figuratively) kill your offender with kindness. Otherwise that resentment will keep living in your body and bring about mental and physical discomfort (which we will dig deeper into shortly).  

Why Forgiveness Is Important 

Now that we’ve covered HOW to forgive, let’s tackle the WHY. Learning how to let go of the past is never easy but, if you don’t, you will be stuck harbouring that anger and resentment for the rest of your life! Anger affects both our mental and physical health, but research shows that even just thinking about forgiving someone starts solving those problems (pretty cool, right?).   

“You don’t have to forgive the person that is asking for your forgiveness, or that you wish that you could forgive,” says psychotherapist Dr. Courtney Tracy in an episode of the Truth Doctor Podcast. “But to a degree, you’re in chronic fight or flight mode. So, you’re constantly upset…constantly triggered by this person…constantly wishing that things were different. Or, pushing them away because you just don’t want to deal with them at all.”

Forgiveness is a process and will vary depending on the severity of the situation you’re in. But for whatever pain you’re going through, practicing how to forgive someone will make you hurt less, make you emotionally stronger, and prepare you for similar situations in the future!

Forgiveness for Yourself

First things first, let’s establish the fact that you don’t HAVE to forgive. For example, when it comes to an abuser who is still potentially dangerous, you probably shouldn’t reconcile. But that doesn’t mean you can’t find a place of empathy and understanding within yourself — even if that means cutting someone you care about out of your life to get rid of toxic patterns. 

“This is an internal process that is for you. Even if the other person’s asking you to forgive them, the process is for you,” adds Dr. Tracy. “It’s very important that you don’t feel pressured to forgive them, because it has to be something that’s pure and genuine with good intention.”

To paraphrase, forgiveness should be something that happens inside of you — not to please someone else! YOU choose if someone deserves your forgiveness, and YOU are the one who will benefit from that decision. 

Forgiveness for Your Health 

Believe it or not, not forgiving someone can be mentally and physically damaging. Dr. Tracy tells us that “unforgiveness” can actually be viewed as a disease because of the toll it takes on our bodies! And this can lead to an overall feeling of discomfort because our minds affect our bodies, just as much as our bodies affect our minds (basically a never ending cycle, ugh).

By suppressing the damage of how much that experience changed your life, you may start hurting others (and yourself) in the same way you were hurt! And feelings of anger and frustration will eventually build up and attack your cardiovascular and nervous systems…we defs don’t want that.  

“When you haven’t forgiven, what research has shown is that a lot of us have an increased heart rate, our blood pressure has changed, our immune system is down,” explains Dr. Tracy. “And when you forgive, it actually calms your stress levels. And that can allow you to have a reduction in chronic illness, in autoimmune diseases, in anxiety and depression, and suicidality. It plays a factor!”

For more info on all things forgiveness, listen to Dr. Courtney Tracy in the “No B.S. Break Down: Forgiveness” episode of the Truth Doctor Podcast!

Feeling Energetic: A Guide to Your Emotions

Look, we’re busy people. Whether with work, school, volunteer or social life commitments (maybe even all of the above), there’s a lot we have to juggle! And with the incredibly busy lives we have, finding enough energy to get it all done can be, well… a bit of a struggle. Sooo when we actually DO feel energetic, it’s hands-down the BEST feeling ever, right?! We feel a burst of motivation, ready to take on all of our tasks and crush our goals like it’s no problem-o. Who doesn’t wanna feel like they’re the Energizer Bunny, powering through life and accomplishing all the things! (This is a rhetorical question; it’s safe to say we all do!)

Like we said, feeling energetic is the bee’s knees (and will have you buzzing like one too)! Let’s dive thru feeling energetic and its impact on our mental wellbeing, ‘cause it’s highly, highlyyy underrated. We give it a 10/10 rating in our books!

A Deeper Look at Feeling Energetic

Feeling energetic? Pffft, what’s that like? *chugs coffee* Well, let’s look at a trusty definition, just ‘cause we can. Dictionary.com defines energetic as: “adj. possessing or exhibiting energy, especially in abundance; vigorous.” Wowza. Having an abundance of energy?! Sounds too good to be true.

Something we wanna mention is that feeling energetic is actually rooted in one key emotion: joy. You’re probably thinking: well, duh! But let’s look a bit deeper here. The link between these emotions is super important. Think about it: when we’re happier (and less stressed) we tend to have wayyy more energy. That excitement, motivation and positive outlook we have on life when we’re feeling energetic? Yep, it’s all connected to that joy we feel. Take the boost of energy you feel when you’re passionate about something, for instance. Maybe you love your job, like reallyyyyy love it. And whenever you have a new idea for a project, it’s like a fire is lit under your butt! You have so much energy and excitement, that it pushes you to do your best!

And on the opposite end, think of how it feels when you’re super low-energy. Like, can’t get outta bed. Dragging your feet. You might feel drained, sluggish or burnt out which can be caused by any stressors you’re experiencing right now. And stating the obvious here, but stress does NOT = happiness. Booooo, stress! You suck the energy right out of us.

There are so many ways to boost your energy levels boost your energy levels, like getting enough sleep, drinking water and making sure you’re nourishing your body. But it’s important to note that your mental health is just as important as your physical health! So be sure to take precious care of both, friend. You deserve all the happiness and energy in the world!

How Feeling Energetic Shows Up Mentally

Since feeling energetic is rooted in happiness, it’s no surprise that our mental wellbeing is off the charts when we have boosts of energy! The two are linked, remember?! When we’re happy, we’re more likely to feel energetic and vice versa. Sooo, how does feeling energetic impact our mental wellbeing specifically? Excellent question. Here are some positive symptoms you might notice:

  • Lifts your mood
  • Reduces stress and anxiety
  • Increases attentiveness and focus
  • Boosts productivity
  • Sparks creativity
  • Improves analytical skills
  • Promotes good thoughts
  • Increases motivation

When we’re happy, our brains release the neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin throughout the body. And as a result, these positive hormones give you the energy you need to do alllll the things! Hell yeah, that’s what we’re talkin’ about.

How Feeling Energetic Shows Up Physically

When we’re feeling energetic and really happy, the physical benefits are also pretty amazing! It’s almost like the body reacts positively to a happy mind. What a concept, right?! Here are a few physical symptoms you might experience when you’re feeling energetic like you’re battery-powered:

  • Reduces cortisol levels
  • Lowers blood pressure
  • Strengthens immune system
  • Provides better sleep
  • Improves digestion
  • Reduces pain
  • Lengthens lifespan

All of these physical symptoms sound great, if you ask us. Especially that last point! Who doesn’t wanna live longer?! So embrace that energetic feeling, friend. It’s worth it!

5 Ways to Embrace Feeling Energetic

Okay, so you’re feeling energetic. Now how do you channel all of that energy and use it to promote your mental wellbeing to the fullest?! You’ve come to the right place, friend! We’ve got some great methods for you. They can also help if you’re not feeling super energetic but could use a lil’ boost! Check ‘em out:

1. Move Your Body

We’ve got one word for you: endorphins. We know that exercise boosts endorphins, which make you happy! Even if physical activity isn’t your fave thing, there’s lots of fun ways to get active. Go for a walk, run, swim, bike, rock climbing, yoga, you name it. Dance around your room to a fun playlist like nobody’s watching, if that’s more your style! Whatever way you like, just get movin’ and groovin’. It’s worth it!

2. Engage in Compassionate Self Talk

If you’re feeling sluggish or could use a boost of energy, one of the best things you can do is show yourself kindness. Before you roll your eyes, hear us out! You deserve compassion, always. Even on your worst days! Try saying these phrases to yourself out loud: I don’t feel happy, motivated or energetic at this moment but that’s okay. I can get through this rut. I can accomplish my goals.

3. Connect with a Friend

When you’re feeling energetic and on top of the world, here’s an idea: why not connect with a friend?! Put that energy to good use by doing a fun activity together, whether it’s a hike in the great outdoors or a fun paint night at home. If you can’t meet in person, play a game over Zoom or just have a gab sesh! We get by with a little help from our friends, as the Beatles say.

4. Get Creative

Another great way to channel your energy? Let us spell it out for you: c-r-e-a-t-i-v-i-t-y! Get artsy by drawing, sketching, doing calligraphy or painting. Write poems or try your hand at blog writing. Practice an instrument, sing, dance! Feeling energetic can really put you in the right headspace to get creative, and the possibilities are truly endless. ENDLESS, we tell you!

5. Practice Gratitude

Showing gratitude for the things that bring us happiness and provide us with tons of energy?! Yeppp, that’s the best! Gratitude can look like simply taking notice of the good things in life and showing them appreciation. That might involve writing a list of things that bring you joy, volunteering in your community, or showing acts of kindness to the people who make your life better. Whatever it may be, gratitude feels great for everyone!

That’s it that’s all thanks for stopping by friend we really appreciate you and think you deserve all the good things in life no matter what and— *gasping for air* Phew, sorry. Got carried away there for a sec! We were just sooo energized after diving thru this emotion with you. Hopefully you learned something new about your emotions with us! Thanks for stopping by, friend.