Feeling Confident: A Guide to Your Emotions

PUBLISHED Dec 23rd, 2020 & UPDATED ON Jan 26th, 2023

In the wise words of Demi Lovato: What’s wrong with being confident? The answer is simply, NOTHING. It’s safe to say that feeling confident is a-m-a-z-i-n-g and makes you feel on top of the world. It’s that feeling you get when you feel like you have your shit together, know what you’re doing and are 100% secure in your abilities. You’re way less likely to care what other people think, spend time worrying they’ll judge you or think you’re not good enough. And puh-lease, making a mistake or looking ridiculous? Those thoughts aren’t even on your radar. ‘Cause you’re feeling so good about yourself, all of that self doubt or negative self talk is totally drowned out. As far as you’re concerned, you’ve got this!

Confidence doesn’t always come easy. In fact, feeling confident can be a major struggle for most of us. A lot of the time, we might question our worth or put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be perfect. But when we DO feel confident, it’s the BEST. We feel on top of the world, like we can do anything and accomplish all of our hopes and dreams. We can recognize all of our strengths and put them to good use without worrying so much about failure (Failure who? Never heard of her). So let’s talk about feeling confident and how it contributes to our wellbeing, ‘cause this feeling deserves some recognition!

A Deeper Look at Feeling Confident

What does it really mean to feel confident? So glad you asked. Dictionary.com defines confident as: “adj. sure of oneself; having no uncertainty about one’s own abilities, correctness, successfulness, etc.; self-confident; bold.” Ummm, that sounds pretty great, doesn’t it? This is the feeling we all want more of in our lives!

Feeling confident is something that you can experience every now and then, like when you’ve practiced an important presentation for your class so many times that you just know you’re gonna nail it. Some people just have a more confident personality where this feeling comes more naturally for them. But where does confidence come from, though?! How do you stay confident when you struggle with self doubt? Asking for a friend…

Where Did Your Confidence Come From?

Remember how as a kid, you would do or say the most outrageous things because you just didn’t give a shit? What’s up with that, anyway? Well, it’s because kids don’t have the same filter or fear of judgement that we adults have. It’s like kids have this sort of blind confidence that allows them to fart in public or sing their heart out in the grocery store without a second thought. Okay, so a lot of that probably has to do with the fact that their brains aren’t fully developed or whatever… But you can’t deny that these tiny humans also have a LOT of self-confidence! Nobody has told them that their drawings suck, or that they’re not the next Justin Bieber. They just do what they like because they think it’s fun! That’s it. Worrying about what other people think or about their abilities isn’t really an issue for them yet.

Then we grow up. We become a lot more self aware and the stakes become higher. Suddenly, we care about impressing our friends, family, boss, and romantic partners. We have to prove ourselves more than ever before, and it can be really hard to stay confident under all of that pressure. Like, really hard.

Another important thing to note is that feeling confident and having a high self-esteem are linked, but slightly different. How we measure our self-worth and value as a person = self-esteem. How much we believe in our abilities = confidence. Makes sense, right?

How Feeling Confident Shows Up Mentally

It turns out, feeling confident is super great for your mental wellbeing. You’re probably thinking, no shit – confident people are always so happy! And ya, you’d be right. But let’s break it down and get a little more specific. Here are some ways confidence can be positive for your mental health:

Higher self-esteem
Positive self image
Reduced anxiety
Lower stress
Feeling more productive
Feeling empowered to achieve goals
Stronger interpersonal relationships
Better communication skills
Drive to succeed

Confident people are like the honey badger meme from 2009. They don’t give a shit about what other people think about them, so they use allllll of this extra energy do whateverrrr they want! That sounds awesome, right? Well, it is because doing what they want makes them happy, and when they’re happy, they feel more confident. What an awesome circle of events to be part of!

How Feeling Confident Shows Up Physically

Feeling confident can also be really great for your physical health. Say what?! It’s true. Confident people really are out here living their best lives. This includes you! Wow, you’re just winning this whole life thing with an emotion like confidence. Here’s some physical signs of confidence:

Increased energy
Better cardiac health
Improved sleep
Less muscle tension/better posture
Developing healthy habits like staying hydrated, eating balanced meals, physical activity, etc.

So, there you have it! Not only are you well rested, and have good health, but you’re happier too! You have worked hard for this awesome emotion, so good on ya! We’re really proud of you and we’re happy to see that your body and mind are CLEARLY thriving at this moment! GOOD JOB, FRIEND!

5 Ways to Feel More Confident

Confidence is a feeling that comes and goes. So whenever you need a pick-me-up, don’t worry! We have some fun little exercises for you. Try ‘em out when you could use a confidence boost, or if you just wanna enjoy this badass feeling to its fullest!

1. Give yourself a pep talk or use a helpful statement

Confidence is all about recognizing your abilities and knowing your worth. Let’s face it, that’s not always easy to do. So whenever you start to doubt yourself, remember: I’m strong, capable and deserve to be here. I earned this! Feels great, doesn’t it?!

2. Engage in compassionate self talk

Sometimes, we could use a reminder of all the things that make us so amazing. And there’s nothing wrong with giving ourselves the pep talk we need to hear! If your confidence is low, go ahead and tell yourself how amazing, talented, and hard-working you are. Remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes and they don’t define you as a person!

3. Practice gratitude

Showing gratitude is a way of counting all of your blessings in life and showing appreciation. Maybe it looks like grabbing your co-worker their favourite drink from Starbucks on your way into work to show them how much they’re appreciated. Or you could write a nice thank-you note to your fitness instructor for pushing you to meet your goals every week. Whatever it is, spreading the positivity will always feel good for everyone!

4. Reach out for support and connect with a friend

Sometimes, we could use a little extra support and validation for our feelings. If you’re feeling not so confident, reach out to someone you can count on to be there for you! Venting feelings can be a huge weight off our shoulders. And your support person will remind you how great you are!

5. Journal

This practice is a great way to explore your feelings and understand where they’re coming from. When you’re struggling with your confidence, try to reframe and counter your negative thoughts so that you can build yourself up! Putting your thoughts down on paper can give you a lot of clarity, trust us. Just beware the hand cramps when you start writing up a storm!

There you have it, friend. We hope that you keep on feeling Demi Lovato levels of confidence, because we think you’re pretty great. Remember that this feeling can come and go, and that’s okay! No matter what, we’re rooting for you.