DiveThru Team, Author at DiveThru

Common Therapy Concerns

When people think about starting therapy, it can bring up a lot of feelings. It’s a big step, and as you explore taking this step, it’s totally normal to feel a sense of anxiety, fear or general uncertainty. So firstly, we want you to know that you’re not alone in these feelings!

To help you navigate what may be coming up for you, here are some common concerns people encounter (led by our own lived experiences):

What if people judge me for being in therapy?

It’s completely understandable to worry about being judged for going to therapy. Mental health stigma is real, and it can be challenging to navigate a world where not everyone understands or supports the decision to seek help. At DiveThru, we believe that seeking help is courageous and actively taking care of your mental health should be the norm. And at the end of the day, therapy is about you and your well-being, not about what others think (easier said than done, we totally know, and we’re proud of you for considering how therapy may benefit you).

I’m scared to be vulnerable. What if I’m not ready to share?

Opening up about your innermost thoughts and feelings can be intimidating, especially if you’re unsure what to expect and/or worried about how much you’re ready to share.

Therapy is a personal journey, and you have full control over how and what you choose to share. You are welcome to give your therapist feedback and share your insights and thoughts on how you’re feeling about certain conversations. Therapy is a safe space — it’s okay to take your time and build a bond with your therapist first.

And remember — vulnerability doesn’t have to mean immediate deep sharing. It can be as simple as expressing your fears about being vulnerable. Sharing that you’re scared to open up can be a powerful first step. It can help your therapist understand your concerns and approach the work together in a way that feels supportive and safe.

Therapy is a process, not a destination, so give yourself permission to take things at your own pace.

How do I know if I’m ready to start?

The idea of entering therapy can feel daunting. But being ready for therapy doesn’t mean you have to have everything figured out. It also doesn’t mean you have to be in a certain mental state. Here are some things you can reflect on to help you determine if you’re ready to take this step:

You’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed by your concern(s)
You have a desire for self-exploration or growth
You recognize your current patterns aren’t serving you
You have a willingness to be open
You’re curious about what therapy can offer you

When thinking about starting therapy, it’s okay to feel uncertain, anxious, or even skeptical. These feelings can be part of the process. If any of these points resonate with you, it might be worth considering taking the next step.

And if you need help, our team is always here to support.

Therapy FAQs

If you’re thinking about starting therapy, you may have a lottt of questions (which is super common)!

To help ease your mind, here are some FAQs we’ve answered for you!

How do I know if I should see a therapist?

You may think your problem isn’t “big enough” or even too big — but regardless of what you’re facing, therapy can be helpful for any type of struggle, and you are welcome in our space.

Some common concerns include:

Issues with daily living, school, work or relationships
Negative or unwanted feelings
Managing life transitions
Enhancing self-esteem
Developing positive coping strategies
Overall self-growth and self-development

What if I don’t feel my therapist is a fit?

If you are ever feeling unsure about your therapist, that’s perfectly okay! Your therapy journey is yours, and that may mean trying a few therapists to find the right connection. Therapists also want the best for you and for you to advocate for yourself, so they understand sometimes they might not be the best fit for your needs!

We understand the anxious feeling that may come when thinking about switching therapists. At DiveThru, you can reach out to our Studio Coordinators to ask for a rematch, or you can talk to your therapist about it if you prefer! We’ll all work together — because the most important thing for us all is to find the right person to work alongside you.

How is talking with a therapist different from talking to a friend?

At DiveThru, we want you to feel comfortable with your therapist and feel as though they’re someone you can confide in. However, sometimes people are under the impression that talking to a therapist is the same as when you share your concerns with your best friend. But, therapy should feel different. Your DiveThru therapist is a trained professional who uses evidence-based methods to guide you and provide you with valuable insight and tools to use outside of the session room.

What if I don’t know what to talk about/where to start?

It’s normal to feel unsure about what to talk about or where to start in therapy, especially when you’re starting out. Therapy is a space where you can explore and express whatever is on your mind, and there’s no “right” or “wrong” way to begin. You might start by sharing what led you to seek therapy or any immediate concerns. Sometimes, talking about your daily experiences, feelings, or thoughts that seem significant to you can be helpful. Your therapist is trained to help you navigate these conversations and can assist in identifying areas to explore further. Therapy is a collaborative process, and it’s okay to take your time to discover what you want to focus on.

What does a therapist do during sessions?

Your therapist works with you to explore your needs and concerns, and they’ll implement evidence-based practices to support you and encourage growth and reflection. They may challenge your thoughts, listen, use tools, etc., all to support your goals! Lastly, they’ll jot down general notes for them to reflect on and review before sessions. You’re always welcome to ask them to explain what they’re writing, and they’ll be happy to share!

Will therapy offer a “quick fix”?

Everyone’s therapy journey is unique, as everyone’s needs and concerns are different. But, it’s important to note that therapy typically offers deep, reflective work, that can lead to moments of vulnerability. This collaborative work between you and your therapist is an ongoing process, and that looks different for everyone. It can take time to establish a bond and feel comfortable, so remember to be kind to yourself during this journey! You can always explore your expectations (if any) with your therapist, too, so they can plan and adjust accordingly.

I don’t know the difference between the types of therapists. Who is right for me?

Therapist titles can vary by province and country, but we have a helpful guide explaining the different types of therapists to provide insight!

If you are still unsure of the right path for you, our Studio Coordinators can work with you to find an ideal match based on your needs.

Getting Started with Therapy

Starting therapy can be overwhelming. We know — because we’ve been there too. You may be asking yourself: Where do I even begin? How do I know which therapist is right for me? What can I expect?

You don’t have to answer all these alone! Here is your go-to guide on everything you need to know at the beginning stages, so you can be one step closer to supporting your mental health needs.

How to pick your therapist

Your relationship with your therapist plays such an important role in your therapy journey, so you may wonder… how do you pick an ideal therapist?

Choosing a therapist is a personal decision, and will look different for everyone! Here are some things to consider:

Does the therapist have experience/specialties in dealing with my concern(s)?
When reviewing the therapist’s profile, do I feel a sense of comfort? Do I like how they communicate? Do I get a sense that they’ll meet me where I’m at and support me in the way I need to be supported?
Does their availability match my needs?
Does this therapist align with my personal preferences? (ex: same lived experience, age, gender, etc.)
What modalities does the therapist offer? (Note: If you’re unsure what modalities are/what works for you (ex: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, EMDR, etc.), your therapist is there to figure that out for you based on your goals. In addition, you can always ask our team for some insight and we can help!)

Everyone is unique, so it’s totally okay to trust your instincts throughout the process when finding an ideal fit. If you need assistance in finding your match or need to move forward with a re-match, our Studio Coordinators are there for you!

Booking an appointment

After you select your therapist, the next step involves booking your appointment! If you’re unsure when you should book, it’s important to think about what time works best for your schedule. At DiveThru, we have daytime, evening and weekend appointments for flexibility.

We understand everyone has different booking preferences, and we accommodate that at DiveThru! You can book online through our portal, reach out via email or give us a call.

Preparing for the first session

If you’ve never done therapy before, you may be wondering if there’s anything you need to do before your first session.

The only required task typically includes completing consent and intake forms — these help give your therapist a chance to get to know you more, as well as provide insight into all the important information you need to know prior to your session. At DiveThru, you’re able to complete these within the DiveThru app.

Some clients find it helpful to prepare for their first session by reflecting on questions like:

What are my therapy goals?
What questions do I want to ask my therapist?
What am I comfortable sharing at this time?
What will indicate that therapy is successful for me?
What am I hoping therapy will be like?

Of course, you don’t need to know the answers to these questions, but they can be helpful to reflect on!

The first session

Once you’ve booked your appointment, it’s totally natural to be looking for insights from your very first session. To help you understand what to expect with sessions, here’s a helpful breakdown:

In your first session, you and your therapist will introduce yourselves, and your therapist will walk you through the consent form — we prioritize informed consent, so we go over all information to ensure all parties understand before getting started and give time to ask any questions or get clarification. From there, your therapist may ask you what brought you to therapy, explore your therapy goals and share how they approach therapy. You’ll also work on getting to know one another better. Your therapy journey is your own, so you can share as much or as little as you want during this session.

The first session will likely feel different than the following sessions, as it is more about getting to know you and less about diving into things therapeutically! You have time to get comfortable, ask questions, and share your fears and concerns so your therapist can help ease your mind and better shape your therapy journey. You’re also welcome to share feedback at the end of the first session regarding how they felt and ask any lingering questions they may have.

Ongoing sessions

Your ongoing sessions are when you start to go more in-depth with what brought you to therapy. They will ask questions, provide insight or strategies, potentially challenge you and use different therapeutic approaches. Your therapist may also actively ask for feedback, but please know that feedback is always welcome. Your therapist is there to support you in a way that works best for you. They will help you work towards your goals, and you can use your sessions to explore what would be the most beneficial to you at any time.

How Parents Can Prepare for a Child’s Assessment

The journey of a psychological assessment for your child can bring up feelings of uncertainty, concern, maybe even guilt or fear. It might feel a little nerve-wracking for you too! As a parent, it’s completely natural to feel overwhelmed or unsure about what to expect.

You might find yourself questioning whether you’re doing enough to support your child, or wondering what the assessment results will mean for you and your family. As uncomfortable as these feelings may be, they’re a reflection of the deep care and love you have for your child. Take a deep breath, because we already know you’re doing great (you’re reading this blog after all!).

Let’s dive into the ways you can help prepare, not only for the logistics of the assessment but also for the emotional experience you may go through — because your feelings matter too!
We want you to know: you’re not alone, and we’re here to support you with these helpful tips to help you feel confident and prepared.

1. Reflect on the “why” behind the assessment

Before the assessment, take some time to reflect on the purpose for the assessment What question are you hoping the assessment will answer about your child? With this question in mind, the psychologist will gather insights about your child’s strengths, challenges, and needs, form an interpretation, and recommend the best way to support them.

Remind yourself: this process is not about judging your parenting or your child. It’s about gaining tools and clarity to help your child thrive. And that’s pretty awesome, if you ask us!

2. Consider your child’s strengths and challenges

As their parent, you bring invaluable insights to the assessment process. After all, you know your child best! Take a few moments to think about your child’s unique qualities, which may come up in an intake or clinical interview:

Patterns or behaviours you’ve noticed at home, school, or during activities
Important developmental, educational and health history
Any helpful feedback from others in their life (teachers, care provider, etc.) that may provide insight to their behaviours
Specific questions or concerns you’d like to discuss with the psychologist

While it’s helpful to have a heads up, know that it’s the psychologist’s job to ask relevant questions so don’t worry too much about having all the answers ready to go!

3. Approach the assessment with an open mind

Feeling a little nervous about your child’s assessment? Worried that your results won’t turn out as you expected? That’s totally okay! This assessment isn’t about confirming a specific diagnosis or outcome—it’s about gaining deeper insights into your child’s challenges and needs to support them going forward. It may be a certain diagnosis or what you expected, and it may be something else. The psychologist will interpret the results objectively, using their expertise to provide a clear, accurate picture of what’s going on and tailored recommendations to help your child move forward.

So, instead of focusing on a specific outcome, see this as an opportunity for self-discovery, clarity, and empowerment for your child. Let your child know that the assessment is intended to help them with their needs and encourage them to do best on any activities.

If you find yourself worrying, take a deep breath and remind yourself: “This is a step toward understanding and supporting my child.”

4. Pack for the day

Testing session length varies, but sometimes it can be a long appointment! A little preparation can go a long way. Consider what you might need to make the day go smoothly and help you and your child feel comfortable. Here’s a checklist to help:

Snacks and water
Comfort items for your child, like their favourite toy or blanket if they tend to be anxious
Any paperwork or previous reports your psychologist has asked you to bring.
Comfortable clothing (e.g.: a sweater if they get cold).
Essential personal items (e.g. medication, glasses, hearing aids).

And don’t forget about yourself! If you have comfort items—like a book, a calming playlist, or a cozy sweater—feel free to bring those along too.

5. Plan for post-assessment

After learning your child’s results and leaving an assessment, you and/or your child can feel overwhelmed – and that’s okay! You and your child may want to discuss how the process was and how you are feeling. Consider what you both might need to do for yourself at that moment.

If you’re someone who wants to take action right away, this might mean debriefing with a loved one your results, sharing your reports with another professional involved in their care plan (e.g. therapist, teacher), or following up on one of the recommendations the psychologist provided.

Or, you both may need some space to relax and recharge. Whether it’s enjoying your favourite comfort food, catching up on a cozy TV show, or taking a quiet walk, give yourself permission to unwind and process the experience. Whatever it is, do your best to plan for post-assessment and give you and your child grace to do what you need (even if it’s different from your plan) after your assessment.

Preparing for your child’s psychological assessment doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. With these tips in mind, you can approach the process with confidence and clarity. You’ve got this!

And, of course, our team is here to answer any questions at all throughout the way!

Want to read more? Check out our blog on How To Help Prepare Your Child for Psychological Assessments or explore our resources about managing stress.

If you’d like to learn more about DiveThru’s psychological assessments, read more here!

A Guide To Preparing for Your Psychological Assessment

Starting a psychological assessment can be a big step in your mental health journey, and let’s be honest—it may feel a bit daunting! But here’s the good news: you’re not in this alone, and your feelings are completely valid.

Whether the assessment is for personal insight, work, or another reason, understanding what to expect and how to prepare can help ease anxiety and ensure you get the most out of the experience.

Here, we’ll walk you through some practical steps you can take to get ready for your assessment. By taking thoughtful steps to prepare, you can approach the process with confidence.

Let’s get into it!

1. Reflect on the “why” behind the assessment

Before your assessment intake or interview, take a moment to reflect on why you’ve chosen this step.

Is it to better understand your mental health, explore the potential of a diagnosis, or find tools for personal growth? What question do you hope an assessment psychologist can answer?

Whatever the reason, completing an assessment is an opportunity to learn more about yourself, and that’s an empowering process.

2. Consider your experiences, strengths and challenges

You know yourself best, and sharing what’s going on for you is valuable for interpreting your assessment. Take some time to think about:

Your challenges: What areas feel difficult right now? How has that impacted you? When did you first notice them?
Patterns: When and where have you experienced these challenges?
Your strengths: What has been helpful for you in navigating these challenges?

If you have questions or concerns, it may be helpful to jot them down to address during the session. Don’t worry about getting it “perfect”—just be honest about what’s on your mind! Sharing your insights will help your psychologist build a clearer picture of your experiences.

3. Approach the assessment with an open mind

Feeling a little nervous about testing day? Worried that your results won’t turn out as you expected? That’s totally okay!

This assessment isn’t about confirming a specific diagnosis or outcome—it’s about gaining deeper insights into your challenges and needs to support you going forward. It may be a certain diagnosis or what you expected, and it may be something else. Your psychologist will interpret the results objectively, using their expertise to provide a clear, accurate picture of what’s going on and tailored recommendations to help you move forward.

So, instead of focusing on a specific outcome, see this as an opportunity for self-discovery, clarity, and empowerment. Show up as you are, do your best on any tests, and trust that the process is designed to provide you with the understanding and support you need.

Remember, you’re doing an incredible thing for yourself, and that’s something to feel good about! If you have questions or uncertainties, don’t hesitate to ask your psychologist during the process. They’re there to guide and support you.

4. Pack for the day

Testing session length varies, but sometimes it can be a long appointment. A little prep goes a long way to make your day smooth and stress-free! Consider packing:

Some snacks and a bottle of water.
Any paperwork or previous reports your psychologist has asked you to bring.
Comfortable clothing (e.g. a sweater if you get cold).
Essential personal items (e.g. medication, glasses, hearing aids).

Having these essentials on hand can help you feel more at ease and prepared.

5. Plan for post-assessment

After learning your results and leaving an assessment, it can feel overwhelming – and that’s okay! Consider what you might need to do for yourself at that moment. If you’re someone who wants to take action right away, this might mean debriefing with a loved one your results, sharing your reports with another professional involved in your care plan (e.g. therapist, physician), or following up on one of the recommendations the psychologist provided.

Or, you may need some space to relax and recharge. Whether it’s enjoying your favorite comfort food, catching up on a cozy TV show, or taking a quiet walk, give yourself permission to unwind and process the experience.

Whatever it is, do your best to plan for post-assessment and give yourself grace to do what you need (even if it’s different from your plan) after your assessment.

Remember, you’re not alone. Your psychologist is there to guide you every step of the way, answer your questions, and provide support. You don’t need to have it all figured out beforehand—this is a collaborative process, and they’re here to help you uncover valuable insights about yourself.

Let’s recap: preparing for a psychological assessment as an adult doesn’t have to be overwhelming. The goal of a psychological assessment is to gain deeper insights into your thoughts, behaviours, and emotional well-being. By taking the time to prepare, you’re setting yourself up to get the most out of this valuable experience.

Want to read more? Check out our blogs on managing stress and understanding your emotions!

If you’d like to learn more about DiveThru’s psychological assessments, read more here!

How to Prepare Your Child for a Psychological Assessment

Getting your child ready for a psychological assessment can feel overwhelming. You might be wrestling with a whole lotta emotions — concern for your child’s well-being, uncertainty about what the process involves, and maybe even second-guessing if you’re making the right call. Perhaps your child’s teacher raised concerns about their focus in class, or maybe you’ve noticed your little one struggling in ways beyond typical growing pains. Every day, you may watch them grapple with challenges that seem just out of reach for them to explain — and for you to solve. And all you want is to make this whole process as easy as possible.

Whatever brought you to this point, know that you’re not alone. Many parents face this journey — and the good news is that a psychological assessment can offer valuable insights and guide you toward the right support for your child!

Here are a few helpful tips to help make the process easier for both you and your child – so you can head into assessments feeling more prepared.

1. Introduce Them to the Psychologist

It’s important for your child to feel comfortable with the person they’ll be meeting. You can help by introducing them to the psychologist in a positive, reassuring way:

“You’ll be meeting Rachel, a psychologist whose job is to help kids like you who may be having a tricky time at school. I’ve already told Rachel a lot about you and she’s looking forward to meeting with you!”

This can help them understand the process more and provide an opportunity for them to communicate anything they may be wondering or feeling.

2. Explain the Purpose of the Assessment

Children often feel more at ease when they know what to expect! Take a moment to explain what the assessment is for and reassure in a way that’s easy to understand:

“Rachel will ask you some questions and guide you through activities to help understand how you learn. She might also talk to your teachers to learn how you’re doing in class. This will help us figure out how we can support you in school and make things easier for you.”

3. Reassure Them It’s Not a Test

Even as adults, we may panic at the word “test.” Let your child know that the assessment is about understanding how to best support them, so try not to worry about getting things “right.”

“There’s nothing you need to prepare or study for. Just go in and do your best on the exercises Rachel asks you to do.”

4. Ensure They Get Rest and Nutrition

Catching a good amount of zzz’s and a healthy breakfast can make anyone feel better, and that includes children! Try to get your child to go to bed at a good time and eat a good breakfast to help them feel their best on assessment day.

5. Pack Comfort Items

We know our favourite comfort show can make us feel better, and kids have their items that do too! If your child feels anxious, a familiar item can help them feel more comfortable. This could be a favourite toy, a cozy blanket, or even just something small they love having with them.

6. Bring Essentials

Consider packing a bag with everything your child might need during the day:

Snacks and water
A sweater, in case the room feels cold
Any necessary medications, hearing aids, or glasses
Anything the psychologist or team may have requested you bring, like past report cards, assessments or medical records

If you’re unsure about what may be essential, you can always ask the psychologist what they recommend.

The psychologist will walk your child through everything they need to know during the consent and assent process, so don’t feel like you have to explain everything in detail.

Assessments are a big step in your child’s journey, and with these tips, you can help set your child up for a positive and smooth experience, and help yourself to feel more comfortable along the way too!

Did you know DiveThru will soon offer psychological assessments for children and adults? Our assessments will include Psychoeducational (Learning) Assessments, Giftedness Assessments and ADHD Assessments. And, if you don’t know what your child needs, that’s okay! Our quick questionnaire takes your concerns, and we’re here to support you and your family throughout the entire process!

Online Therapy 101

We know how life gets. Between work/school, time with your friends and family and other responsibilities (caring for your pet, working out, extracurricular activities, etc.), it can be reallllyyy hard to find time for yourself and head to an in-person therapy session.

Or, there may be an incredibly long waitlist for an in-person therapist in your area, and when you’re in need, you can’t wait that long! But that’s when online therapy (also known as “Telepsychology”) can be a great option for folks. It allows flexibility so you can focus on the path to healing.

Let’s talk about everything you need to know about virtual therapy!

The Pros of Online Therapy

If you’re wondering if virtual counselling is just as effective as in-person, we have good news — it is! There are many benefits to online therapy, such as:

The convenience factor of being able to log in from the comfort of your home
Removing the intimidation factor for folks who experience anxiety and may not want to enter a clinic
The same chance for connection and understanding with your therapist
The opportunity to access care for those who live in remote areas
More flexibility to suit your schedule and needs

What Do I Look For In a Virtual Therapist?

Determining the best fit for your virtual therapist isn’t much different than when you’re looking for an in-person therapist.

If you’re wondering about their title or credentials, you need to do research by reading up on their bio or the types of therapists the organization employs or contracts. While “therapist” is a catch-all term for professionals who provide counselling, these folks can have various backgrounds. What you need may depend on your presenting concerns, what types of therapy you want to do or are best for your concerns, what your insurance company covers, etc. At DiveThru, our therapists are Registered Psychologists, Registered Provisional Psychologists and Registered Social Workers with a Masters in Clinical Social Work. We have a great blog on the different types of therapists you can read if you want to learn more.

If you’re really not sure by viewing their profile, you can always ask for a consultation. Many therapists offer free 10-15 consultations that allow you both to ask for details to determine fit before booking an appointment.

How Does Online Therapy Work?

Often, you’ll be sent an invitation to join a secure virtual platform (depending on the organization) at your allotted time. Your therapist will carry out the session the same way they would in person, such as reviewing consent, facilitating interventions, and working with you on your mental health goals.

What Do I Need To Consider?

There are a few things you may want to consider when looking at online counselling:

The Location
Yes, you’ll be virtual, but where is the clinic located? Registered Psychologists have to be registered or have clearance to work as a psychologist in the province/state that the client is in. Other professionals may not have as strict regulations, so therapists may be located anywhere. Determine if the therapist’s location is important for you (e.g. will the therapist have knowledge about local resources you may need referrals to?) as it may influence which organization or clinician you choose to book with.

Tech issues
Poor internet sucks. It’s even more uncool if it’s impacting your therapy sessions! Consider the internet strength in your home and the connection prior to starting virtual therapy. It helps to have fewer tabs open or a good browser.

Body Cues
One of the pros of in-person therapy is that you and your therapist can read body cues or reactions more clearly. Online, there may be a bit of a disconnect. Consider this when setting up your camera. Make sure your therapist can see you clearly to help your communication and understanding of one another.

Privacy
Therapy involves deep discussion of things you want to keep private between you and your therapist. Make sure you’re in a space where you feel safe, comfortable, and can avoid distraction.

Online therapy is a great way to get started on your mental health journey in a way that works for you. In fact, DiveThru just launched our own virtual-only therapy option for Alberta residents called Alberta Virtual! You can do our 5-minute matching survey and see your ideal therapist matches prior to setting up a session to easily help you narrow down your most fitting therapist.

If you have any questions about DiveThru’s Alberta Virtual, feel free to email us or call us at our studio!

How to Get the Most Value From Your Therapy Appointments

Therapy is not cheap: fact. And if you’re sitting there thinking that there are about a billion other ways you could be using this chunk of money instead of on your therapy appointments, you’re not alone in that. Even knowing how beneficial therapy is, we’ve all still had that thought at one point or another (and then felt super guilty for thinking it). But therapy and mental health are just as important as your physical health and you wouldn’t be debating saving the money for something else, shopping the latest Sephora sale, or using it to pay a different bill, if what you really needed to do is get an X-ray and a cast to fix your broken arm. Mental health is important and therapy is an essential tool to help you through mental health challenges.

In an ideal world, mental health care is free and easily accessible to all who need it. Buutttttttt that’s not our current reality. Unfortunately, we need to make the most out of every single therapy appointment that we book. In this economy?? Every. Dollar. Counts. So the big question is, how do we make that happen?

Let’s take a look at some expert tips and words of wisdom from DiveThru’s own Clinical Director, Dr. Lily Le!

1. Come prepared to talk about you.

Before your session, take a moment or two to reflect on the most important person in the therapy room—you! Think about how you’ve been doing, what your major concerns are, and what you want to work on in your therapy session. You don’t have to set out a formal agenda or anything, but it is helpful to walk into your session ready and prepared to talk about what’s been affecting you. That way, you can make the most out of the time you do have with your therapist.

2. Don’t be afraid to give honest feedback or ask for something.

Therapists may be good at “reading people” (as the stereotype goes) but they’re not mind-readers. If there is something you want to work on, an exercise that you didn’t quite enjoy, or your therapist said something that didn’t sit right with you, share that with them. We know that speaking up to your therapist can be difficult but they truly want the best for you. Hearing your true thoughts on something helps steers you both closer to the right direction in your healing process. And when therapists and clients are able to work through a blip, research shows it strengthens their therapeutic relationship.

3. Try to be open, even though it’s hard.

In order to get the most value out of your therapy sessions, do your best to be open to what your therapist is suggesting or exploring. Depending on what your goals are, your therapist might ask you to do an activity that feels out of your comfort zone, like engaging in a social skills role play, doing a thought experiment to gain a new perspective, sitting through a mindfulness practice, etc. Fight the urge to shut down anything uncomfortable if the work is in line with your goals – it means you’re growing! If there’s something you’re not quite ready for, communicate that with them and you and your therapist will explore how to approach your goals in a way that is fitting for you.

4. Put in the work.

Therapy isn’t just about showing up to vent. Some days, that’s just what you need. But people who are attending sessions regularly, discussing difficult topics they might have pushed away, and reflecting and practicing what they’re discussing with their therapist both inside and outside of sessions are more likely to reach their goals faster than people who don’t do those things. The same way you have to weight train regularly to build muscle, you need to show up and put in the work in therapy to really see the results.

5. Give it your full attention.

You’ll get more out of therapy if you’re focused, reflecting, and not distracted. If you’re texting, eating a burger, or scrolling through Insta during your session, you’re only partially listening to what you and your therapist are discussing and you might completely blank on the coping tips and techniques you talked about, later on when you’re trying to remember them. No bueno. Some days you may feel extremely meh and find that your mind is wandering a lot. That’s ok. Just do your best to acknowledge it and turn your attention back to the present so that you can get the most value out of your session. If your intention is to participate fully, it really helps to put all distractions out of your reach and turn off notifications on all of your devices.

6. Loop in your support system.

People generally tend to do better when they have a support system of loved ones that they trust by their side! Instead of tackling this on your own, feel free to share your goals and progress with the important people in your life so they can support you along the way. They could be your cheerleaders when things get hard (bc therapy does get hard) or they can be your accountability partner when you know you should be practicing what you learned but you reallllyyyyy don’t feel like it. They can help you refocus when you feel like you’re getting sidetracked.

Therapy is not a linear journey and there will be days when you make tons of progress and days when it feels like you’re taking a step backwards. That’s normal! Don’t let it discourage you from working towards your therapy goals.

We think it’s really cool that you’re taking charge of your mental health and we hope this helps you get as much out of your therapy sessions as possible!

8 Tips to Work Through Your First Date Nerves

When you’re playing the dating game and meeting new people, the first date nerves are SO real.

It’s scary having to meet someone, judge them, have them judge you, and then decide if you want to judge each other again over dinner another day??? Nooo thank you. But also, yes plz — because you’d really like to find a partner. The only thing getting in your way is your anxiety about it all!

If you’ve got new relationship anxiety, we have some awesome and super helpful tips on how to overcome and push past that dating anxiety!

1. Be Kind to Yourself

Guess what? Everyone feels anxious before a date. EVERYONE. Even if your date looks calm, cool, and collected, they’re probably a bundle of nerves, too! And anyone who says they don’t get nervous is probably a liar and you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life, thank you very much.

When you struggle with anxiety when dating someone new, the whole process can fill you with self-doubt. Not only are you seeing if you actually like this person, you’re also saying, Hey…do you like me? Am I good enough? I’m cute, right? It’s a vulnerable situation where you could either be rejected, or there’s no spark and you feel like it was a total waste of time. So yes, it’s normal and completely okay to feel anxious when dating. Give yourself the space to feel all the emotions you’re experiencing. You’re not alone, we promise!

2. Reframe Negative Thoughts

Anxious thoughts tend to pop up outta nowhere at the WORST times. It’s like just when you’re starting to feel confident for this date, looking cute AF, your mind starts listing all of the possibilities that could go wrong. What if I embarrass myself? What if the date is super awkward? What if they’re not attracted to me?

Social anxiety and dating is a not-so-fun mix. Let’s turn those anxious thoughts around and keep in mind the date could go right instead! What if we hit it off? What if we have a ton in common? What if we wanna see each other again? Hey, that’s better! Also, keep in mind that just because dating someone doesn’t work out, it DEFINITELY doesn’t mean you’re an undateable little gremlin.

3. Journal

Grab your pens and papers everyone because it’s our favourite time of the day — journaling time! Journaling is a 10/10 practice for exploring your feelings, especially when you’re anxious about dating. You can journal to help determine what is causing you anxiety, follow prompts on how to love yourself, and even learn more about yourself as a person. You might think you know yourself, but trust us, when you journal, you can write down some surprising things!

To help your dating anxiety, you can journal out your worst-case scenario on a date. Maybe that’s being stood up, having wine thrown on you, or maybe even being kidnapped. Journal it out and walk away, then come back later when you’re less anxious and analyze if that fear is realistic. Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn’t.

Also, take some time to journal about your worth! Instead of asking yourself, “Why is dating so hard?” you should be asking, “What are the many ways I’m super freaking dateable?” You need to recognize all of the amazing things that you have to offer—and if someone doesn’t see them, go back to that list to boost your confidence and know that this person missed out on a BADDIE!

4. Talk It Out

In the days, hours, minutes leading up to the date, you might still have those nerves. Before you start typing out an elaborate text to your date about how your sister’s three-legged cat ran away and you’re so sorry but you’re gonna have to cancel, pause first. Take a deep breath. Do a mindfulness exercise to slow down all those racing thoughts (we have free ones in the DiveThru app, btw). FaceTime or text your bestie about how you’re so anxious for this date so they can hype you up and reassure you that it’s not as big of a deal as you think.

Make an escape plan with your friend just in case the date ends up being a total disaster. Choose an emoji or code word to text them if you need to get outta the date but have no idea how. This can be their signal to call or text you with an excuse to leave (probs steer clear of the three-legged cat story, though). You probably won’t have to use it, but just knowing your friend is on standby for you will put your mind at ease!

If you’re struggling with your anxiety and you’ve been seeing someone (that you’re comfy with) for a while then don’t be afraid to open up! Ask them if you can lay your anxieties out on the table. And you know what? If they really like you and respect you, they’ll only meet you with tons of love, kindness and understanding. UGH SO CUTE!

5. Use Movement to Work Through Nerves

If you want to know how to stop being nervous, think about how your nerves make you feel. Jittery? Excited? Breathing faster than normal? Heart racing? Can’t stop your leg from bouncing? A little bit of movement can help you work out the energy!

Oh, and just to clarify, this is NOT about you needing to look a certain way to date, because fuck that. We’re not about toxic diet culture at DiveThru. You are hella dateable exactly as you are!!

The reason we recommend a bit of movement, in whatever way makes you happy, is to get rid of some of the excess energy. Your adrenaline is pumping! Your body is kicking into fight or flight mode. Moving around can help your body and brain use that energy and bring you back to a semi-relaxed state. So go for a walk, have a living room dance party, or do a quick yoga flow—whatever you enjoy!

6. Have a Safety Net

If you think that your dating anxiety is going to get the best of you, plan ahead and have an excuse to leave. Maybe you only want the date to be an hour, so you arrange to meet at a restaurant an hour before they close. Then you can fake not knowing that the place closes so soon, and your date is none the wiser!

If you’re afraid that you won’t have anything to talk about, choose to have a date in a public setting. That way you can people-watch your little hearts out and always have something to talk about!

If you’re worried about your physical safety, meet in a public place that makes you feel secure. Text your friends updates about where you are and when, just so someone knows your whereabouts. You can even invite your friends to be on a “fake date” near you to make you feel more comfortable meeting a total stranger.

And, text or call a friend if you’re really nervous when you get to the date spot! There is absolutely zero shame in asking to be hyped up a lil’ bit. Having a reassuring call with your bestie might be just the thing that you need!

7. Be Yourself

PSA: You don’t need someone to “complete” you. Let’s say that again louder for the people in the back. YOU DON’T NEED ANYONE TO COMPLETE YOU!! You, just as you are, are worthy of love, respect, and happiness — with or without a partner. To be yourself is to know yourself AND know how great you are.

Also, being yourself means knowing your morals, values, and what you want in a partner. If your date doesn’t have those things, it’s okay to say that you don’t want to see them again. What you want and need in a partner are totally valid and you shouldn’t have to settle!

If someone doesn’t like you when you’re being yourself, it doesn’t mean that you’re undesirable. Think about a movie you saw that you weren’t big on that everyone else raved about. Does that mean the movie is bad? Nope! It just means that it’s not for everyone. You’re not gonna be for everyone, but you’re gonna be loooved by some people, and that’s all that matters!

8. Enjoy the Process

Dating can be scary… but it can also be sooo fun! There’s the excitement of meeting someone new, the butterflies when making plans AND getting to spend time with this person that you really like!

If you’ve been with this person for a little while, enjoy spending some quality time with them. Enjoy this time dedicated to just the two of you! The beginning of a relationship is so sweet and exciting, and you’ll look back at it years later with fondness.

But if it’s all a bit too overwhelming, know that you can always cancel. You don’t have to totally CANCEL cancel, but you can reschedule or offer up a more anxiety-friendly suggestion. Listen to what your body and mind need, and if it’s not right for you to go on this date, it’s not right for you! And that’s okay!

In the words of Lady Gaga, you’re “talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show-stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before…” and honestly, SHE SPEAKS THE TRUTH! We 100% believe that you are all of these things and we hope that you see it too! You deserve happiness, healthy love, exciting dates, and maaaagical romance.

Coping with Infidelity: How to Heal After Being Cheated On

Figuring out how to heal after being cheated on is so hard. It’s a massive betrayal of trust, and it can leave you feeling confused, angry, and alone. You question so much about the relationship, and even question your self-worth.

No one deserves that betrayal, and we’re so sorry that you’re going through it. Whether you decide to work it out with your partner, or decide to move on, we’ve made a list of ways to help you heal and take care of yourself after being cheated on.

1. Figure Out What You Want

Infidelity really hurts. It can feel like your whole image of your relationship is shattered. So, what do you do?

Whether or not you choose to end the relationship is up to you. We’re not gonna sit here and tell you that you should stay with or leave your partner. It’ll be totally dependent on your individual situation, and whether or not you feel like your relationship could be repaired after this.

Your partner’s reaction to being found out will also be important. Did they try to gaslight or manipulate you after? Did they own up to their actions? Do they seem genuinely remorseful?

Take as much time as you need to figure out your next step. Communicate with your partner about your needs and feelings, as long as it’s safe for you to do so. Try not to make any rash decisions in the moment. Take the time to think about and do what’s best for you.

2. Lean on Your Support System

Your loved ones are going to be huuuge for you right now. Call them, spend time with them, and let it all out. Whether you want to turn to your “righteous-fury” friend, or your “cry-it-all-out” friend, might depend on your mood. Whatever you need from them, let them know. Especially when there’s stuff to figure out, like a shared living space or a divorce, having people with you through the process will be super comforting.

3. Be Selective About Who You Tell

Your loving, caring support system will definitely have your back! As they freaking should. What are friends and/or family for, right? But be cautious about who you tell, and how much.

If you’re reeeally upset, posting the infidelity on social media might seem like a great idea. Or showing up to their work, posting a video of you confronting them, all those things that tend to go viral. But just don’t. We know, we get it, we understand that you have every right to be upset. But publicly shaming them won’t undo the hurt and won’t make you feel better.

This can apply to your support system, too. We’re definitely not saying you should keep the infidelity a secret—just that you should choose your confidantes carefully. Maybe you have one friend that you trust with all your secrets, but another who tends to spread gossip. Or maybe you plan to stay together and work toward forgiveness, but you know your sibling would never forgive them. Just like you can’t put toothpaste back in the tube, you can never un-tell someone something.

4. Go to Therapy (or Couples Counselling)

Having someone break your trust can bring up a whole bunch of insecurities and self-doubt. While your support system will definitely help you see your amazing self again, booking a session with a mental health professional can really help the healing process.

Therapists are there for you and your concerns. Your friends or family will have all their own perspectives, even if they’re well-meaning! So if you’re feeling lost, hurt, and confused, a therapist can help you navigate those emotions to bring you back to a more secure place.

If you decide to work on your relationship, going to couples counseling is a great idea. Working out the infidelity in a safe and open environment, with a professional to guide the conversation, can help you avoid the not-so-great conflict resolution styles that will make things worse. Did you know you can also do individual therapy in addition to couples therapy? It can be really helpful to process what you’re going through in a safe space that’s all your own!

5. Get Back to Your Passions

What excites you? What makes you happy?? When you are cheated on, you can feel very unsure of yourself and your identity. By focusing on your joy, you can help build up your self-worth in a way that’s all about you and what you do, rather than your relationship to someone else. This can be super helpful when you want to get over someone cheating on you, but it’s also great to focus on your passions if you decide to stay in the relationship.

So bust out those hiking boots, oil paints, or acoustic guitar, and get back to you! Super impressive bonus points if you can do all those hobbies at once.

6. Take Your Time

If you want to get over infidelity, there can be two knee-jerk reactions: Fully ditching your partner, swearing to never speak to them again, or forgiving too fast in order to mend the relationship. Both are not great for you.

These things take time. Deciding to ghost your partner might lead you to regret it down the road, if you think the issues could have been worked through together. Or, if you forgive too fast, you could have a future of resentment, hidden feelings, and passive-aggressive remarks.

Whatever you decide to do, take your time with it. Process all the emotions. Communicate with your partner. We’re not saying you need to forgive your partner, but we’re not saying you need to give up on them, either. Just do it all at a pace that gives enough space for you to feel all the things.

7. Don’t Overthink the Past

When a person is cheated on, they might go through every interaction in the past, every hint of infidelity, every sign they ignored, and wonder what went wrong. The person who was cheated on might wonder if they could have prevented the affair by being more attentive, more sexually-satisfying, or communicative.

Someone cheating on you is not your fault!! Remember that, repeat it, and write it down in your journal. Even if there are or were issues in the relationship, a partner choosing to cheat is 100% their decision. People can have affairs in happy relationships, too.

Don’t overthink the past or what you could have done differently. Now that the affair is out in the open, your best bet is to acknowledge that it happened, work on your relationship (if you’re staying together), and move towards the future. We’re deeeefinitely not recommending that the infidelity be forgotten… just try not to ruminate on the past too much.

8. Work on Building Trust

Trust is gonna be super important from here on out, whether the relationship is over or not.

If you decide to stay together, open and honest communication will be sooo vital for building trust. Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Margaret Rutherfod stresses that trust runs in both directions after the affair. That means that the person who was cheated on needs to, with time, work, heal, and learn to trust their partner again. Any hidden resentment or suspicion will affect the relationship over time. And the person who stepped out of the relationship needs to work on showing their partner that they can be trusted and won’t cheat again.

If you choose to end the relationship, you’ll need to learn to trust future partners or romantic prospects. This will also take time, work, and healing. You may find yourself suspicious of partners who have never cheated on you and say they never would. Being honest about your past and telling your future partners your triggers will help them understand how and why you react the way you do. But getting to the bottom of those triggers and healing the trauma of infidelity will be the best way to learn to trust again.

Being cheated on is a lot of pain to deal with. Take all the time you need. Turn to your loved ones for support. And no matter what you choose to do, make sure it’s the best decision for you. You’ve got all our love and support through the screen!!