Written by DiveThru Team
Reviewed by Natalie Asayag MSW, LCSW
5 Journaling Prompts To Overcome Your Fear Of Commitment
Published Sep 9th, 2020 & updated on Mar 20th, 2021
When we say “fear of commitment” (or commitment issues if you will) you probably automatically envision someone who is afraid of being in a long-term relationship.
You’re partially right. Fear of commitment is very common in romantic relationships, but it can be present in many other areas of life, too. Friendships, careers, and projects that require dedication to a specific person/cause can all lead to fear of commitment. Commitment issues can pop up for a variety of reasons including past trauma, difficulty trusting others, and societal expectations.
Ahh society, back at it again with the damaging expectations. Gotta love it.
Regardless of your situation, if you’re looking to get past your fear of commitment, here are 5 journaling prompts to get you started. These will help you dig deep and will provide the reflection you need to commit to getting past your fear of commitment.
1. What is the root cause of your fear?
Oh yeah, we’re jumping right in folks. No surface level stuff around here.
In order to truly address your fear of commitment, you first have to know what’s causing it. Are you scared to commit because you’re afraid of rejection? Is it because you have low self-esteem and/or low self-confidence? Were you in an unhealthy relationship that makes it difficult to trust people? All of these reasons are completely normal and valid but will need to be addressed before you can move forward. As always, be honest with yourself, be kind to yourself, and let go of any judgement towards yourself.
2. How has commitment shaped your life?
So much of who we are is made up of what we have experienced in our lives. Take this opportunity to examine the role of commitment in your past and the role it continues to play in your life.
How have others demonstrated their commitment to you? How have they neglected their commitment to you? Were you surrounded by positive examples of commitment growing up? How might your life experiences be leading to your fear of commitment?
These prompts will allow you to examine your view of commitment by looking into the past and will provide a starting point for how you want to proceed.
3. Have you communicated your fear of commitment?
If you have, how did it impact your relationships and your life? If you haven’t, why not?
It may be scary to open up about your fear of commitment, but if you don’t address it, the people in your life may never know that it’s bothering you. Communication is especially important in romantic relationships because if you’re not open about what you’re going through, you may end up inadvertently hurting your partner.
Communicating your fear of commitment can also mean talking to a therapist or mental health professional. They will be able to provide you with a safe space to open up and strategies to start overcoming your fear.
4. What are the pros and cons of making a commitment?
This could be any type of commitment: a work commitment, a friendship, or a romantic relationship. If you’re nervous about making a commitment, write out a list of pros and cons that are specific to that situation. Then take a step back and examine each side. What can you do to address the cons or maybe even turn them into pros? Psst.. keep reading to find out.
Organizing and sorting through your thoughts on paper is extremely helpful for decision making. There are no cons about a pros and cons list, that’s for sure.
5. What are your next steps?
When tackling any sort of challenge, it’s always a good idea to have a game plan. You may have the best intentions, but without a solid plan, it’s really difficult to actually make any progress. Planning parties is fun, so why can’t planning out your goals be fun, too?
Consider these questions: How will you push yourself outside your comfort zone? What can you do when you feel yourself pulling away from a relationship? Who can you lean on when things become difficult? How will you address setbacks?
Answering questions like these will help you see that, although it may be nerve wracking, change is possible and attainable. Set SMART goals that are realistic and tangible. Reward yourself when you complete them and forgive yourself when you don’t.
Like any fear, fear of commitment is scary. But the only way to get past it is to acknowledge it and work through it. Your journal is a great starting place to address your feelings and to take note of what you can do to improve. But that’s just one of the many uses of your journal.
To find even more uses, download our DiveThru app today! We’ve got over 1000 free journaling exercises to improve mental wellbeing. Now you have at least 1001 uses for your journal.
By taking the initiative to address your fear of commitment, you’ve already conquered one of the hardest steps. The process will be difficult and will likely take time, but don’t be discouraged. The growth you’ll experience in letting go of your fear will be well worth it in the end. You got this.