10 Ways to Process Your New Job Anxiety

So here’s the good news — you applied for the job. Then you interviewed for the job. And, by some miracle, you GOT the job! You should feel super relieved and excited right about now, right?! After all, out of all other potential candidates, YOU were the one they hired! Buuut, the not-so-good news is you’re still feeling kinda anxious about it. Sure, you’re looking forward to starting your new job to earn that sweet cash and gain some wicked experience. On the other hand…you’re dying inside. The physical signs of anxiety — pit in your stomach, increased heart rate, excess sweating — are telling a whole other story about how you’re truly feeling!

It sounds like maybe you have a case of the ol’ New Job Anxiety. Yes, it’s a real thing! On some level, everyone goes through this feeling when they start a new job. And maybe some of these thoughts have crossed your mind already: What if I’m not actually the right fit for this job? What if they realize they made a huge mistake hiring me? What if my new coworkers find out what a fraud I am? Ahhh, there’s no way I can do this!!

Take a deep breath, friend. We’re here for you. Anxiety is totally natural whenever you’re facing a new, or unknown, situation. Here are some ways you can process this anxiety and feel wayyy more at ease during this transition!

1. Identify the Source of Your Anxiety

Again — it’s normal to feel anxious about a new job. If you think you’re not the only one who’s had to give yourself a quick pep talk in the mirror before your first day, you’re defs not! So, let’s find the source of your new job anxiety. It’ll be really helpful when working through this feeling. We highlyyy recommend journaling for this reason! 

Is it because you’re doubting your skills? Are you worried you won’t fit in with your coworkers? Is this a different type of role for you and you feel like your inexperience will show? Dig a lil’ deeper into what’s really giving you those butterflies and sweaty palms! Writing down your thoughts and any concerns you have about this role can give you some clarity about your anxious feelings.

2. Challenge Your Imposter Syndrome

Once you’ve narrowed down the source of your anxiety, you’ll probably notice a common trend with your inner thoughts: imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome fucking sucks, plain and simple. It makes us doubt ourselves and feel undeserving of our accomplishments when that is sooo not the case! Starting a new job is a time when imposter syndrome usually runs rampant in our minds — I’m not good enough to be here and everyone is going to notice I don’t belong. What do I know, anyway? I’m not qualified for this job AT ALL. 

Sound familiar? Instead, turn those nasty, negative thoughts around and reaffirm what you know deep down about yourself to be true. They hired me for a reason. I worked hard to get where I am today. I earned this! 

Hell yeah, you earned this. And don’t you forget it!

3. Understand Your Role

Starting a new job can be super anxiety-inducing because, chances are, you’re taking in a ton of new information all at once. Like, a lot. You’re learning names, protocols, software, alllll the things! Something that can be useful when you’re soaking up all this info like a sponge? Make sure that when it comes down to it, you 100% know what your role is. Your manager is (hopefully) doing their best to integrate you into this new job as smoothly as possible, but guess what? It’s okay to ask questions whenever you feel like you don’t know WTF you’re doing!

Asking for that clarification helps you know exactly what your role is and what’s expected of you. You’ll feel 100x more at ease once everything is crystal clear and you’re ready to take on this new role like a champ!

4. Give Yourself Time to Adjust

When you start a new job, it’s easy to fall into the trap of being way too hard on yourself. I have to learn everything right away or I’ll look totally incompetent. I need to impress my boss and prove myself. Pause. It’s normal to have these thoughts, but they’re simply NOT true.

You’re the newbie. No one expects you to know it all on the first day! So give yourself the patience and kindness you deserve. You’ll get there eventually, don’t worry!

5. Remember It’s Okay to Mess Up

There’s a learning curve with every new job. You’re gonna make mistakes (*gasp*). No really, it’s not a big deal! Promise! You’re allowed to make mistakes and you can’t expect yourself to be perfect. Think of how you would treat someone new on the job. Would you expect them to get everything right on the first day, or put them down as soon as they mess up? No, you wouldn’t. So show yourself that same kindness!

6. Get to Know the Work Culture

Feeling anxious about meeting your new coworkers and worried about how you’ll get along? Totally understandable! It can take some time to feel like you’re part of the group, so try not to put too much pressure on yourself. As you get more comfortable in your new role, get a feel for the work culture. Does your team have traditions? A fave lunch/coffee spot? Inside jokes? Are the workplace vibes more Parks & Rec or The Office?

Be open to getting to know everyone and how they do things as a team. You’ll learn so much and feel like you’re part of the group in no time! 

7. Connect with a New Work Friend

If you’re feeling like the odd one out and need someone to talk to, try reaching out and make a new work friend! Having someone who makes you feel wayyy more comfortable can help you through this transition and reduce some of that anxiety you’re feeling. 

You’ll probably know the right person when you meet them. They’re super friendly and seem like they genuinely care to get to know you personally! It could be the person training you, or someone in your department. Whoever it may be, just ask to have lunch together or grab a coffee! It helps having someone to talk to when you’re the newbie.

8. Communicate How You Feel

You might feel like you can’t talk to your boss or coworkers about how you’re feeling. But if there’s anything you’re unsure about and it’s making you feel really anxious, it’s important to communicate those feels! They’re there to help guide you in this new role, so don’t assume you’re a burden to the team or letting them down in any way.

If anything, communicating and being honest about your anxiety shows that you care about your new job and wanna make sure you’re doing the best you can! 

9. Talk to a Therapist

Are your feelings of anxiety so overwhelming that it’s hard to manage on your own? Or do you feel like your job performance will be impacted by your anxiety? Hey, there’s no shame in talking to a therapist. We actually 10/10 recommend it! 

Therapy = a safe space for you to vent how you feel and share what thoughts you’ve been having with the help of a professional. Your therapist is there to help you develop the best coping strategies for your anxiety, so you’ll feel sooo much better about this new job! You are not alone.

10. Allow Yourself to Feel All of Your Feelings

It’s not easy being the newbie at work. It’s also not easy to adjust to all of your new responsibilities. So all of those nerves, anxieties and doubts you’re having about this new job? They’re valid! You’re allowed to feel how you’re feeling. Remind yourself that you can (and will!) get through this. And most importantly — trust the process. You landed this job for a reason, right? That’s right. You’ve got this.

Processing your new job anxiety is a challenge, we know. If you feel like you’re not good enough for this job or that you’re gonna fail miserably, keep in mind that everyone has been there, done that. You’re doing amazing, sweetie! 

 

Feeling Skeptical: A Guide to Your Emotions

There’s lots we could feel skeptical about in our lives. For one, we’re taught to be skeptical of what we see in the media and not believe everything we’re told. When we’re writing an essay for school, we have to find academic sources. We have to be skeptical about where we’re getting information from in order to sift through what’s fact or fake. In this way, being skeptical is a good thing! It’s important to consider the source and always look for the truth. But, can this practice spill over into our emotions? Can feeling skeptical impact our mental wellbeing in negative ways? Sadlyyy, the answer is yes.

It’s not bad to question things or seek answers. But it’s when this doubt is too consuming, and we start to spiral with worry and anxiety that feeling skeptical can become a problem! So let’s dive thru feeling skeptical, what it means and how you can cope with this emotion.

A Deeper Look at Feeling Skeptical

What does it mean to feel skeptical, exactly? We probably have a good understanding, but it doesn’t hurt to check out a reliable definition! Here it is… APA Dictionary defines skepticism as: “noun. an attitude of questioning, disbelief, or doubt.” Sooo ya, it’s safe to say that when we are feeling skeptical, we’ve got a million question marks over our heads.

It’s never a bad idea to sort through the source of our own skeptical feelings. We might use examples from our past to justify how we’re feeling doubtful or suspicious: The last time I shared something personal about myself to a friend, they blabbed all over the place. Why would this new friend be any different? Or: Does my boss actually give a shit about me, or am I just another number? They praise my work, but what if it’s a facade to keep me happy?… Look, it’s normal to sift through our experiences and use them to make new informed decisions. Buuut, overthinking everything and being suspicious can also hold us back!

All in all, feeling skeptical can come down to worry. More specifically, our worry of being wrong. Nobody likes being wrong, okay?! Being wrong or making mistakes can make us feel embarrassed, ashamed or even stupid. But keep in mind that we’re our own worst critic! It’s okay to be skeptical or question things, but ask yourself if it’s more about uncovering the truth, or protecting yourself from being wrong. Those are two very different intentions!

How Feeling Skeptical Shows Up Mentally

Dealing with skeptical feelings can also lead to bouts of worry or anxiety… which can obviously take a bit of a toll on our mental wellbeing after a while! Here are some mental symptoms you might experience when dealing with excessive skepticism:

  • Feelings of nervousness or restlessness
  • Feelings of danger, panic or dread
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Fixating on the thing you’re worried about
  • Desire to avoid things that trigger your anxiety
  • Obsessions over certain ideas

Being skeptical about certain things isn’t bad, but these mental signs can become a problem if they’re consistent and don’t go away on their own. Together, these symptoms are indicators of anxiety which is a more serious mental health issue than feeling skeptical now and then. If you’re struggling to get through these thoughts and feelings on your own, getting help from a mental health professional is the best route.

How Feeling Skeptical Shows Up Physically

When we feel skeptical to the point where we start to worry a ton, it can make us anxious. And the ways that anxiety affects our physical health? Ooh, it can be rough. Here are some physical symptoms of anxiety you might experience when you feel skeptical constantly:

  • Rapid heart rate
  • Hyperventilation
  • Excessive sweating
  • Trembling or muscle twitching
  • Digestive problems
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Panic attacks

Will you always feel this when you’re skeptical? Absolutely not! Again, these symptoms are indicators of anxiety. If you feel like you’re struggling to cope with skepticism and questioning everything constantly, it could be beneficial to seek help from a mental health professional. You don’t have to navigate these feelings all on your own!

5 Ways to Cope with Feeling Skeptical

Like we said, being skeptical isn’t always a bad thing. But sometimes, it can bring on feelings of worry and anxiousness that we just don’t want to deal with! We don’t blame you. But good news: we have some coping strategies for you! Try ‘em out whenever you need to work through this feeling, it’ll help! We swear.

1. Journal

We’re big fans of journaling here at DiveThru. It’s a great practice for exploring your feelings and reframing any negative thoughts you might be experiencing. You get to put pen to paper and let the words just flow! Does it get any better than that?! We think not.

2. Visualize Your Happy Place

It could be a cozy bookstore on the snowy mountainside with a crackling fireplace. Or maybe it’s the beaches you sun-bathed on during your last family vacay. Whatever your happy place in your mind is, go there! Picturing something that makes you feel warm and at peace can help lift your mood and put things into perspective.

3. Reach Out for Support

Feeling skeptical can consume our thoughts and make us question every little thing. It can be confusing to sort through those feelings on our own, so reach out for support if you need to! Sometimes just having someone to listen to us and validate how we’re feeling makes all the difference. Let it all out!

4. Comfort Yourself Like a Friend

If you don’t have anyone who can be there for you right now, that’s okay. You can be there for yourself! Think about how you would want a loved one to comfort you in this moment. Remind yourself all of the positive things in your life. There’s got to be at least a few that stand out!

5. Engage in Compassionate Self Talk

When you’re feeling skeptical and doubting everything around you, one of the best things you can do is show yourself compassion. Try to engage in some healthy dialogue with yourself: My feelings are valid. I might be experiencing a lot of doubt and negativity right now, but it will pass. I’m not alone. It might feel silly at first, but speaking to yourself with compassion can make all the difference!

Okay friend, that’s all we’ve got for now. Remember: your feelings are valid. Let yourself feel allll of the things! Exploring our emotions is worth it in the long run, no matter how uncomfortable it might be at first. It gets better!

 

Understanding Your Substance Use Disorder: 11 Factors of Addiction

Addiction is NOT an easy topic to talk about, and it’s certainly not rainbows and unicorns if you’re going through it! And there are many types of addiction, including behaviours, but today we’re going to focus on substance use. You could be addicted to alcohol, drugs, caffeine, or nicotine, and the rewarding effects may make you feel the need to repeat it over and over again — despite some of the not-so-nice consequences. 

But you’re defs not alone. Sooo many celebrities have spoken out about their journey with substances, like Zac Efron and Bradley Cooper…even Oprah! It’s also portrayed all over TV shows and movies, from Lip’s alcoholism in Shameless to Rue’s drug addiction in Euphoria. But what causes a substance use disorder, how does it affect us, and can we control it? That’s what we’re here to answer with the help of psychotherapist Dr. Courtney Tracy.

What Is Addiction? 

Well, it all starts with using a substance recreationally, which eventually transitions into using it to cope…and then into using it to survive! You can be physically addicted to the point that you experience withdrawal symptoms when you don’t use — like if you miss your daily cup of coffee, you’ll get a nasty headache or maybe start acting a little grumpy. 

Other symptoms of withdrawal (not necessarily for coffee) include:

  • Insomnia
  • Mood swings
  • Not being able to control emotions
  • Cognitive issues (like memory or decision-making)
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Low energy
  • Inability to manage stress
  • Trouble with relationships 

You can also be psychologically addicted (emotionally or mentally), where you feel that you need that substance to perform — like having a biiiiig presentation and panicking because you didn’t have that cup of coffee! You’ll experience a mix of these symptoms, and find yourself craving the smell of those freshly-ground coffee beans or even missing the ritual of grinding them yourself. 

Either way, being addicted is not something you planned. And that whole “addictive personality” concept is actually a myth. So, let’s talk about why it can happen to anyone!

What Causes Addiction? 

Some people can use substances occasionally, love the effects, and not feel the need to do it regularly. Meanwhile, someone else might try it for the first time and crave more almost immediately! But how does that happen? Well, to put it bluntly, addiction is a brain disorder (not a personality issue).  

There’s a misconception that being selfish, impulsive, or not having life goals for yourself classifies you as having an “addictive personality.” Not very nice, right? This narrative can actually be suuuper harmful, because it perpetuates the idea that you’re not at risk for addiction because you don’t have the “right” personality or, on the other hand, that you’ll never recover because it’s just a part of who you are! 

“Addiction is not a moral failing,” says psychotherapist Dr. Courtney Tracy in an episode of the Truth Doctor Podcast. “Addiction is not just for people who have had a fucked up upbringing. Addiction is not just for people who make the choice to become actively addicted….Most people use substances because they’re looking for some type of escape.”

There are biological, psychological, social, and environmental things you could be influenced by. Like genetics, mental health issues, a history of familial use, a bad childhood, and everything in between! And now that we’ve trumped that myth, we can figure out how all of this affects us.

Substance Use Disorders Are Not a Choice 

First, let’s re-establish that being addicted to a substance is NOT YOUR FAULT, even if some people in your life may make you think otherwise! It’s something you might be ashamed of, but it’s not a life you chose. Sure, that first sip, that first pill, or that first smoke was up to you, but you couldn’t have predicted the outcome.

Your body gets sucked into the addiction cycle. An emotional trigger makes you fantasize about using, and makes you think using will bring you relief! Then the fantasizing turns into obsession and you start planning when and how you will use. Then you use, hoping for that relief, but instead you lose control of your behaviour. So, you end up facing the consequences, stop using, and allow time to pass (until another emotional trigger just causes the cycle to begin again!). 

“It may have been a choice for them to pick up the substance and use it for the first time. But, they didn’t realize that they had a choice not to do that (because of the circumstances of their life),” explains Dr. Tracy. “And maybe the circumstances were struggles, maybe it was peer pressure, maybe it was a lack of education of what the substance would do to their body from the first moment that they took it.”

Think about it this way. Tests have been done on rats to see how likely they are to develop an alcohol use disorder. But when the rat becomes addicted, we don’t call it the rat’s choice.  So, why the heck would we say that a human has made the choice to become addicted? 

Assessing Severity of Addiction    

Severity USED to be classified as either addiction or dependence. But the word “dependence” got a little confusing, because it didn’t include people who may not have a debilitating addiction (but still need help!). The American Psychological Association (APA) has now defined it as a substance use disorder instead, which is categorized as either mild, moderate, or severe. But what exactly does that look like?

Well, if you go to a doctor, chances are they’ll have you fill out an addiction severity index. It’s basically a suuuper long form asking what you use, how much you use, how much you spend, et cetera, et cetera. But for the time being, Dr. Tracy provides this list of 11 criteria that can help you assess your severity!

11 Criteria for a Substance Use Disorder 

Like we mentioned earlier, a common symptom of being addicted to a substance is making excuses for why you need it! For example, needing it to socialize, to sleep, or just function in general. But there are many more factors that point towards addiction. So, if you think you may currently be experiencing a substance use disorder, ask yourself these questions!  

Hazardous Use: Is my life, or the life of someone else, being put at risk by me using? 

Social/Interpersonal Problems: Has substance use caused issues in my relationships?

Neglecting Responsibilities: Do I neglect work or school in order to use instead? 

Withdrawal: Do I experience withdrawal symptoms when I stop using?

Tolerance: Do I have to use more and more to get the same effect? 

Amount: When I first used, did I expect to use as much, and as often, as I do now?

Control: Have I tried to stop or moderate my use, but just can’t? 

Time: How much time do I spend getting substances, using them, and recovering from them?

Related Problems: Do I keep using despite physiological, psychological, or physical problems? 

Missing Out: Have I stopped certain activities I once enjoyed in order to use?

Craving: Is my body craving more substance use? 

Dr. Tracy breaks it down this way. Checking off 2 to 3 of these boxes indicates a mild substance use disorder, 4 to 5 would be moderate, and 6 or more is classified as severe. But less criteria doesn’t mean less suffering, because someone with 2 boxes can hurt JUST as much as someone with 7! 

Brain Changes & Getting Sober

You may have heard this question before: “Is addiction a disease?” And to be frank, it kinda can be! Remember earlier when we talked about how genetics, mental health issues, a history of familial use, or a poor childhood can lead to addiction? Well, ALL of those things point to the disease model of addiction! Aaaand just like a disease, the longer addiction is left untreated, the more life-threatening it gets.

Prolonged use of any substance can also lead to brain changes. We’ll skip the big sciency words, but essentially substances target the parts of your brain that control motivation, reward, memory, impulse control, and judgement. But we’ve got some good news! These things can usually be controlled once the substance use has stopped.   

How to Overcome Addiction

It’s a long and hard journey (likely with some pain and withdrawal symptoms), and the road to recovery is almost never linear because relapsing is always a very real possibility. But whether your road is natural recovery, peer-based recovery, or clinical-based recovery, you CAN make it to the other side eventually — even if you’re scared shitless while doing so!

Aside from the pretty difficult physical stuff, you may be afraid to get sober because you don’t quite remember what a sober life feels like. You’ve gotten used to numbing the hard shit in life, and going back to feeling ALLLL the pain can feel like the scariest thing in the world! But the important thing to remember is — just like the cause of addiction lies in toxic environments, hatred and isolation — the cure for addiction lies in supportive environments, love, and community.

If you are struggling with substance use, try turning to friends, family, or whoever you trust most. We also recommend seeing a professional. They’ll be able to help you wean off of the substance to curb your physical dependence, or help you create new thoughts and behaviours to stomp that psychological dependence.

You can also call an addiction helpline at 1-800-565-8603 (Drug and Alcohol Helpline, Canada) or 1-866-698-0672 (American Addiction Centers, US). 

For more information on substance use disorder, tune into the “No B.S. Break Down: Addiction” episode of the Truth Doctor Podcast.

 

Feeling Foolish: A Guide to Your Emotions

Have you ever thought “Don’t make a fool of yourself!” before doing or saying something? Well, you’re not the only one! Everyone worries about looking foolish in front of other people, saying the wrong thing or making a mistake. Feeling foolish can take a hit to our self-esteem, lower our confidence and make us question our self worth. We might start to doubt ourselves and hold back from cool and exciting opportunities because we fear looking foolish or incompetent. Or maybe we misunderstood someone’s actions or behaviour, and we feel foolish for reading the situation completely wrong. This emotion can make us feel so small and alone!

Keep in mind that we’re our own worst critics. The voice inside your head that tells you how much of a fool you are? Don’t listen, ‘cause they don’t know what they’re talking about! But we know getting through this emotion is easier said than done. That’s why we’re here for you! Let’s dive thru feeling foolish, how it affects your mental wellbeing and ways to cope.

A Deeper Look at Feeling Foolish

What does it mean to feel foolish? Well, Dictionary.com defines foolish as: adj. resulting from or showing a lack of sense; ill-considered; unwise; lacking forethought or caution.” Damn! Raise your hand if you feel personally attacked by this definition. *raises hand slowly*

When we believe we look foolish, it makes us feel totally embarrassed and ashamed. Maybe you’re in the middle of a solo presentation for your class, and suddenly it’s like you forget what language you’re speaking. Your mind goes completely blank and you freeze up, realizing that you left your cue cards at home. Immediately, your face turns red and you start to break a sweat. You panic and all you can think is: I must look like a complete idiot! All of your hard work that you put into this presentation has gone to waste, because now you worry that you look unprepared and like a total fool.

Feeling foolish has a lot to do with not only how we see ourselves, but how we worry others will perceive us. And it really sucks! There’s no other way to put it. But the good news is that we can work through our feelings of embarrassment and shame! It might seem impossible in the moment, but these feelings DO pass. Working through the negative self talk and fear of making mistakes or looking foolish will be better for your mental wellbeing in the long run. You deserve to feel good about yourself!

How Feeling Foolish Shows Up Mentally

When you feel foolish and have negative thoughts about yourself, it can definitely impact your mental health. Here are a few signs you may notice:

  • Self doubt
  • Low self-esteem
  • Negative self talk
  • Social anxiety
  • Isolating yourself from others
  • Feeling of worthlessness

Everyone deals with feeling foolish now and then. Our insecurities and self-doubt can get the best of us, but eventually we learn how to get through it and move past these negative feelings. But if these feelings become overwhelming and don’t pass on their own, it might be beneficial to reach out to a mental health professional.

How Feeling Foolish Shows Up Physically

The physical signs of feeling foolish are similar to those of sadness and anxiety. Here are a few symptoms your body might experience when you feel foolish:

  • Increased heart rate
  • Headaches
  • Stomach ache
  • Digestive issues
  • Muscle tension
  • Difficulty sleeping

These signs are only more serious if they are prolonged and don’t go away on their own. So if these symptoms persist, it might be best to seek medical attention!

5 Ways to Cope with Feeling Foolish

We know that feeling foolish can be the worst for our mental wellness and self-esteem. Good news! We’ve got some coping strategies for you that are easy to follow and will make you feel good about yourself. ‘Cause when it comes down to it, we just want you to be happy!

1. Journal

If you’ve never gotten into journaling before, you might be rolling your eyes right now. But we swear by this practice! Writing down how you feel can be a great way to gain some clarity and reframe the negative thoughts you’ve been having about yourself.

2. Reach Out for Support

It can be embarrassing to admit when we’re feeling foolish, especially when we’re comparing ourselves to other people. But you should never feel ashamed for reaching out to a friend or loved one for support! Sometimes just having someone to listen to us and validate how we’re feeling makes all the difference. Let it all out!

3. Comfort Yourself like a Friend

If you don’t have anyone who can be there for you right now, that’s okay. You can be there for yourself! Think about how you would want a loved one to comfort you in this moment. Give yourself a pat on the back, write a list of the things you like about yourself, and reflect on your accomplishments. Remind yourself all of the positive things about you, ‘cause we know there’s a ton!

4. Give Yourself a Pep Talk

Sometimes, we gotta give ourselves a little pep talk in order to turn those negative thoughts around. Try saying some encouraging phrases to yourself out loud: I feel foolish at this moment but I know it will pass. Everyone makes mistakes and feels foolish sometimes. Everything will be okay. 

5. Engage in Compassionate Self Talk

It’s safe to say that when you’re telling yourself how stupid or foolish you are, you aren’t showing yourself the most compassion. Let’s flip the conversation! Try giving yourself compliments out loud, even if it feels silly or weird at first.  I am smart. I’m super knowledgeable about ____. My talents are ___. I’m really proud of the time that I ___. Reminding yourself of your strengths will help you focus less on what you perceive as weaknesses.

Okay, that’s all from us for now! We hope these tips help you work through this feeling so that you can feel great about yourself. ‘Cause we’re not foolin’ around when we tell you that you’re awesome, and we believe in you!

 

Navigating a Health Anxiety Disorder & How to Cope

Having health anxiety is difficult in a regular year. Avoiding high-risk places like hospitals, constantly checking your body for signs of abnormalities, and researching every single illness on WebMD is exhausting. You’re always worried about health! And when a world-wide pandemic hits, the tiny comfort bubble you’ve created suddenly starts to get even smaller. 

It’s suuuper normal to be worried when your body is actually sending you signals that you’re sick. But health anxiety will make you react in the extreme to the most minor of symptoms (or convince you that you’re sick even without them!). So, here is how health anxiety shows up, how to deal with it, and what the diagnosis process looks like. 

What Is Health Anxiety?

Health anxiety is basically the intense worry about having a serious medical condition! You may have heard the term “hypochondria,” which is what health anxiety used to be called. But, let’s be honest, that word sounds a little extreme and it isn’t always portrayed well in TV shows or movies — like Wally and Sebastian in the movie The Switch. During their aquarium scene, Wally tells Sebatian about his “bouts with hypochondria” and Sebastian immediately says, “Oh my god, I have that.” 

Sure, it is sometimes referred to as the “do-I-have-this” disorder. But health anxiety goes waaay beyond saying “I have this” and “I have that.” Just like the name hints at, there’s actually a whole lot of anxiety involved when you’re constantly worried about health! Especially since a lot of health anxiety revolves around the most distressing of illnesses, like cancer. On Season 1 of the Anxious Like You podcast, psychotherapist Nadia Addessi has advice for when this happens:

“Ask yourself: where is there proof of this? Are there facts that go against this? Is there evidence to go against this — or for this? What’s a more realistic thought that I can have? This is something that you need to practice every time that health anxiety comes up.”

Types of Health Anxiety

There are two ways health anxiety can manifest. If you take a minor symptom (like a little, sharp pain in your back) and spin it into a huge condition (like a spinal cord tumor), you might be experiencing Somatic Symptom Disorder. You have a very hard time with any sort of physical sensation, even the feeling of fatigue. You assume that feeling is threatening or harmful, and you automatically start thinking of worst case scenarios.

The other way health anxiety manifests itself is through Illness Anxiety Disorder. It can make you constantly worried about developing a condition, or excessively worried about a condition you already have. Hearing about someone getting sick, or seeing illness in the news, reaaally stresses you out. And, you tend to stay away from sick family members or health facilities to avoid it. 

Causes of Health Anxiety

Okay, let’s set one thing straight — no one chooses to have anxiety about health. It’s not exactly fun to be worried about getting sick, or your mind automatically jumping to “It’s an ANEURISM!” at the slightest headache. You’re not able to live a normal life because your body is always freaking out over your breathing, your heart rate, and blemishes on your skin! But this doesn’t just happen out of the blue. In fact, social factors are usually the cause.

These 5 things can trigger a health anxiety disorder: 

  • Health-obsessed family members.
  • Major stress related to a specific event or situation.
  • A history of serious childhood illness (or a scare with it).
  • A history of childhood abuse.
  • A habit of constantly checking your health online.

7 Ways It Shows Up

If you have health anxiety, you most likely spend a lot of time seeking reassurance from others. You’ll ask your friends, your family, and maybe even multiple doctors if that mole looks weird, or if your forehead is hot. There are many ways this disorder manifests itself, and you’ll want to be able to identify all of them when they happen, so here are some common ways that health anxiety can show up.

  • Constantly worrying about having, or contracting, an illness.
  • Not having any physical symptoms (or just very mild ones).
  • Preoccupying yourself with an existing medical condition, or your family’s medical history.
  • Screening your body over and over for signs of illness.
  • Always looking up symptoms and illnesses online.
  • Avoiding places and situations that could make you sick.
  • Not going to doctor’s appointments for fear of a diagnosis.

“You can’t stay present,” adds Nadia. “Nothing else matters in the world at that moment (and the moments that follow) until it goes away, other than the fact that ‘this is death, I am dying.’” 

Overcoming Health Anxiety 

In truly cruel irony, that constant worrying actually then causes stress on your body. Any form of anxiety can be taxing on the body, because it takes on physical symptoms like stomach cramps, chest pain, and hyperventilating (ugh!). Plus, health anxiety can get worse if left untreated (like being obsessively scared of potential memory loss with aging). Your distress is VALID, but it doesn’t have to rule your whole life. So, let’s dive into how to get a diagnosis and how to cope! 

Getting a Diagnosis 

Health anxiety tends to lead you to seek medical help over mental help, because you genuinely think that something is physically wrong with you. Sometimes, you’ll even go to multiple doctors just in case the first three didn’t find what you expected them to. Or, for fear of actually getting the diagnosis you suspect, you may avoid the doctor all together!

When you do go to a doctor, they’ll probably give you a psychical exam just to make sure there isn’t actually anything funky going on. They’ll refer you to a mental health professional, who will ask about your family history and your worries, have you fill out a self-assessment, and ask about any substance use. From there, your route of treatment may involve medication, psychotherapy, or both! 

“If you have health anxiety, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) is very effective,” adds Nadia. “You can do exposure therapy where, if it’s really bad, you limit the amount of times that you’re going on the internet. Or, you limit the reassurance you’re getting from other people.”

Coping with Health Anxiety 

Chances are, if you have health anxiety, it’s already affecting your work or school life, your relationships, and how you function on a daily basis. But we have some good news! You don’t just have to put up with it, you can overcome it. Like Nadia says, CBT is certainly a good route! And, we’ve got some tips you can use to calm your brain RIGHT NOW. 

First, stop using the internet. It is the biggest instigator. Try keeping yourself and your mind busy by doing things you enjoy, which both cheers you up and keeps you the heck away from WebMD. Two birds with one stone! 

When the worrying strikes, say these statements aloud (as many times as you need):

I am doing everything I can to keep myself safe and healthy. 

I can challenge my worries with logic. 

There is no proof of this illness.

I trust that I am healthy and well. 

I am in tune with my body and it knows how to protect me.

And, stop seeking reassurance. “Stop seeking reassurance from your family, from your friends, from the internet,” says Nadia. “That is only enabling the anxiety and making it worse. You need to learn to work through these things on your own. (Of course, if it’s an emergency, contact your doctor.)” 

For more info on health anxiety, tune into Episode 2 of the Anxious Like You podcast! 

 

Feeling Trusting: A Guide to Your Emotions

Trust isn’t something that we give freely and openly to others all the time. It’s something that takes time to build between people and it takes a lot of shared experience and proof that the person you’re putting your trust in is someone you can rely on. It doesn’t matter who this person is to you, or how they play a part in your life. But when you trust them, it shows that they matter a lot to you. Like… A LOT. 

Fortunately or unfortunately, we don’t run around giving out trust like it’s candy on Halloween. That would be nice (imagine how cute that world would be!) but it just doesn’t happen. We’re raised with a healthy scepticism of others to keep ourselves safe, and if we’ve been burned in the past, we might not trust as easily as we used to.

As we grow and get more life experiences under our belts, the more we learn to put our trust in the few people we know will always be there when we need them. And because the feeling of trust is a kind of rarity, it makes this emotion allll the more special when you feel it. It’s a sign of true love and loyalty. Ahh, this is so mushy and cute! We want to be more sweet and adorable, so let’s get deeper into what feeling trust is all about!

A Deeper Look at Feeling Trusting

Let’s start with the definition of trust. The lovely Merriam-Webster dictionary defines trust as “Assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. One in which confidence is placed. Dependence on something future or contingent: HOPE.”

Isn’t that adorable? Hope. That’s the perfect word to help describe what trusting someone is like. It’s like knowing that the hope you have won’t be let down, and that’s kind of fucking amazing! 

You can have trust for a number of different people in your life and have varying levels of trust for each of them. Maybe you trust your landlord to help you out when your home needs repairs. Or, you trusted your parents when you were a kid to keep you safe. Your friends are trusted to be the emotional support you need. You even trust your coworkers to follow through on their jobs. It takes a really open heart and mind to trust another person, so props to you for feeling that way today!

But it’s important to remember that you can trust not only in others, but yourself as well. “Whaaaat? You can trust yourself?” Yep! You can trust your own judgement and decisions. Heck, you can even trust your gut! Listen to what your heart is telling your brain and just go with it! 

We can sometimes lose trust in ourselves after we make a mistake or get hurt by another person, but trusting yourself is hella important. Why? Because you’re living with yourself forever, baby! 

How Trust Shows Up Mentally

Trust isn’t an emotion that we usually think about. We all seem to know that we trust someone, so we don’t always think about trust as a feeling. But when you think about it, it truly is an emotion. Here are some ways that this feeling of trust appears to us mentally:  

  • Calm 
  • Peacefulness
  • Feeling reassured 
  • Feeling safe 
  • Lack of anxious thoughts
  • Feeling seen 
  • Feeling taken care of

See? We were telling the truth! When we trust in a person, or trust in a process, we don’t have to worry about much (or anything at all). Why? Because we know that we won’t be let down. When we don’t have to worry or stress about that, our anxiety can kick up its feet and finally take a much-deserved break! 

How Trust Shows Up Physically 

It’s kind of strange to think that trust can show up physically, but it can! Think about it. Reaaaaallllyyyy think about it. When you feel safe and you trust the person, or situation you’re in, your body feels that way too. No fight or flight response here! And, these are some other ways that you can feel trust physically: 

  • Feeling relaxed 
  • Increased self-care
  • Less muscle tension 
  • Lack of anxiety in the body 

No muscles are tensed and ready to run away because your body knows that it doesn’t have anything to stress over. You don’t feel threatened by anything, and you don’t have to worry about what’s going to happen. You can just exist. Not only that, but exist happilyyyyyy. 

5 Ways to Foster Trust

Learn to tune in to what your body is telling you. Sometimes we need to listen to our gut to know if we’re able to trust somebody. “But DiveThru, how do we know what our gut is saying?” Don’t worry. We’re getting to it! Here are some techniques to help you learn to trust more in yourself and others: 

1. Engage in Something Soothing

If you want to build trust within yourself or learn to trust your situation, spend some quiet time with a pet, hug a stuffed animal, touch something comforting like a cozy blanket, or even have a warm drink. Learn to trust in the situation or person you’re having to place your trust into by being comfy as fuck! Soothe any anxiety and worry away to the best of your abilities and be a cozy little bean while doing it. 

2. Practice Meditation

Listen to your inner dialogue and your intuition. Listen to what your body and mind are telling you. You can do this with the help of meditation! If you don’t know where to start with meditation, there are sooooo many free guided meditation videos on YouTube that you can choose from. 

3. Journaling 

If you’re having a hard time with trusting yourself, journal what you’re feeling and thinking and then try to reframe and counter negative thoughts. If you want to trust another person more, write down everythingggg you’re feeling about that person and the situation. But, if it turns out that you don’t think that you can trust them, that’s ok! You’re allowed to make that decision. Sometimes writing it out helps us sort what’s going on inside our minds. It makes it alllll make sense! 

4. Practice Gratitude

Sometimes, we can remember how much we trust the people in our lives when we reflect on how grateful we are for them. Think about how thankful you are for your best friend. You’d trust them with anything, right? Be grateful for that! If you want to trust yourself, be grateful for the decisions you’ve made. Yep–all of them! Appreciate how you’ve shown up for yourself time and time again. That’s incredibly trustworthy behaviour if we do say so ourselves! 

5. Engage in Something Creative 

Trust is a really positive emotion! So, associate that emotion with even more positivity by doing something creative and fun that you love. This could be any kind of art, crocheting, photography, painting, writing, scrapbooking, singing, playing an instrument… you name it! The possibilities are endless and we love it. Brb… we’re going to go knit a little hat.

We hope that you keep feeling this sense of trust! Trust is definitely an emotion that doesn’t get enough credit for how intense and important it can really be. We’re proud of you for feeling this way because it takes a lot of trust in yourself to be able to trust another person.

 

Thinking About Sending Nudes? Consider These 8 Things First

You and your partner are so into each other. Like…suuuuper into each other. The chemistry is bananas, you two can barely keep your hands off of one another. You talk/text basically all the time. There’s hardly a moment when you’re not in contact! Then one day, the conversation gets a little hot and heavy and your partner asks you to send a sexy pic. Like…extra sexy. You’ve never been asked to send a nude before and you’re a bit hesitant to send it so soon into things. 

You’ve been warned against sending nudes for years. You were basically told, “if you send nudes, the world WILL end.” Which you know isn’t true, and you’re so tempted to send some to your S.O. 

If you’re feeling conflicted, we have good news! We’re here to help guide you towards, or away, from this big decision with a list of things to consider!

1. Sexts Never Go Away

We hate to be another broken record, but sexts truly never go away. The internet doesn’t forget! There are still embarrassing viral pictures circulating online of people that WE went to high school with almost a decade ago! 

If you’re thinking about sending nudes, it’s important to understand that they’re out there forever. Like…legit. We don’t mean to fear monger, but you need to know all the risks associated with sending and receiving nude pics. 

So often, we believe that the sext we send will only be seen by the recipient, but that’s unfortunately not always true. Maybe the receiver of your pics truly has good intentions, but after a big fight or a breakup things could change, and you won’t have control over what they might do with those pics. On the other hand, the receiver might know straight up that they plan on passing those images around to brag about the nudes they’ve been given. It all depends on the person, time, and situation.

If you’re an adult, you prob have lots of life experience to understand the consequences of sending a nude to the wrong type of person. But if you’re a teen, there is often a lot of trust put into your friends and partners, and texting (or apps like Snapchat) creates a false sense of intimacy, security, and safety. If you were the receiver, you might fully intend to NEVER show those pics to anyyyyone. But, your best friend isn’t just anyone…so that doesn’t count right?! (You share everything with them!) The problem is, you can’t control what your bestie then shares with their other friends and, like dominoes, those pics are now on every classmate’s phone. If you decide to send your S.O. a pic and they betray you by sharing it, it is NOT your fault. But it’s good to understand the possible risks. 

2. Is Your Partner Being Manipulative About It? 

If your partner is being manipulative in ANY WAY, that’s a major red flag. This can look something like: 

  • “But I thought you liked me?” 
  • “Come on, it’s not that big of a deal.” 
  • “Everyone’s doing it.”
  • “You WANT me to be attracted to you right?” 
  • ‘Wouldn’t you rather me look at you than others on the internet?” 
  • “____ sent pics to her boyfriend.”

Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope! If there is any kind of manipulation, run for the metaphorical hills. Or literal hills. Whatever works! 

If they’re demanding photos from you, they’re testing how much control they have over you. This can lead to more abusive behaviour down the road that could become increasingly dangerous to your physical and mental wellbeing.  

3. Do You Trust Your Partner? 

Consider your entire relationship. How long have you been together? Have they been trustworthy the entire time? Have they proven that they can be trusted with such sensitive material? If they have, amazing! That’s great! We’re super happy that it’s been a healthy relationship for you, and that’s incredibly important. Especially when it comes to gifting them with such vulnerable and sensitive content. 

Think about their track record too. Have they leaked an old partner’s nudes in the past? Have they ever done anything to another person, or partner, that could be considered assault or harassment? What’s their attitude toward sex? If they think that sex is a given and that they’re entitled to it, then maybeeee reconsider sending them those nudes. 

4. You Can Say No

Remember that sending nudes requires active and ongoing consent from everyone involved. Plus, consent should be asked for (and respected) if your partner, or you, wants to start sending sexy pics back and forth. 

If you don’t feel comfortable sending pics, you CAN say no. A partner who is respectful of you — your boundaries, your autonomy, and your body — won’t have any problems with this whatsoever. If you’re afraid that your partner will break up with you because of it, tbh, they weren’t worth being with anyway! It’s a hard pill to swallow, but your boundaries are worth respecting and you deserve to have someone in your life who is willing to do that for you. 

If your partner is getting increasingly angry about you not sending nudes, you can troll them! Send pics of a hairless cat, or a naked mole rat, as a “nude.” It technically is! But if you don’t want to troll and truly want to express your feelings and boundaries (which we recommend), here are some things that you can say if you don’t feel comfortable sending nudes: 

  • “I really like/love you, but I don’t feel comfortable sending nudes. I don’t like it when you pressure me and it makes me feel like you don’t care about me or my boundaries.” 
  • “We’re underage, and sending nudes is illegal. We could both be arrested!” 
  • “I do trust you, but your phone could be hacked or stolen at any point.” 
  • “Love is when you respect each other’s boundaries.” 
  • “My boundaries and feelings aren’t up for debate. I said no.” 

5. Alternatives to Sending Nudes

Okay, so you might not want to be sending a naked mole rat to your partner, but there are  alternatives to sending nudes

Since the COVID-19 pandemic hit about a year ago, couples who even live in the same city have basically been forced to date long distance. But even though you might be apart from your partner right now, you DON’T have to send them nudes if you’re uncomfortable with it.

Good ol’ talking on the phone is an option! Phone sex can be super hot. Or even just a cute af picture of you fully clothed. If you’re comfortable with sexting, you still can, but keep it text-only if that’s all you’re wanting to do. It’s still hot but much less risky! If you still really want them to visually see you, then consider using an app like FaceTime that notifies you if they snap a screenshot of your video chat. This way you can call them out on it, and you’ll know that a pic is now saved on their phone.

6. Revenge Porn Is a Thing

Revenge porn is when the person you’ve trusted with your nudes leaks them online, posts them to sites, or spreads the photos amongst their friends (and even your friends). They can send these private moments to your boss, your teachers, your family…whoever! This is all in an effort to make you feel humiliated so that they can feel like they still have control over you. So, seriously ask yourself if there is a chance your partner will send your nudes to other people if you ever end up splitting. Again, if you trust someone with your nudes and they betray you to do this, it is NOT your fault. 

7. Sexual Bullying

This also plays into the concept of revenge porn, but we’re going to explore it a little more here. Revenge porn is a form of sexual bullying. If your partner leaks your nudes, at any time and for any reason, that’s sexual bullying. If you’re in school, they could potentially circulate the photos around your school and amongst their friends (who can then share them with more people). Your partner can also potentially use your nudes to slut-shame you online and try to ruin your reputation. 

Blackmail is also a very real possibility. Your partner can then use those nudes as a way of controlling you and forcing you to give in to their requests so that they won’t release them. 

If this shit sounds heavy, it’s because it is. Everyone should be aware that online bullying still happens, and that sending nudes is a major display of trust that sometimes gets broken. 

8. Underage Nudes

If you’re underage (under 18 or 19), sending nudes is technically child porn — even if the photos are consensual between both underage parties. In some cases, teens can get into trouble in certain areas, whether they’re the victim or perpetrator. 

Did you know that even if you’re a teenager, you can be labelled as a sex offender if you send or possess nudes? This is all depending on your local laws, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. 

What to Do If Your Pics Have Been Leaked 

If your nudes have been leaked — or, if you’re in a relationship that you can’t end for fear of photos being spread — first thing’s first, talk to someone you trust. Even if you’re older and have moved out of their home, reach out to your parents for guidance. If you’re not sure how to start this conversation, try this: “I trusted someone with pictures of me and they betrayed my trust. I don’t know what to do and I need your help.”

If you’re nervous about having this uncomfortable convo with your parents in person, try texting or calling them instead. And if you want some additional support, there is totally no shame in asking a friend to stay with you while you talk to your parents. 

If you don’t know where to start, you can always contact your local sexual assault centre. They are equipped with resources and mental health supports that can help you navigate this tumultuous and difficult time. They also have professionals that can direct you to legal counsel and law enforcement if you don’t know where to begin.

Next Steps

Make sure that you gather evidence of your conversations with the person who leaked your nudes. It’s so important to document everything in case this person deletes any info or conversations between the two of you. This will be suuuper helpful if you choose to get help from law enforcement. If you don’t want to include the police, that’s okay. Only do what you are comfortable with. But hang on to this evidence just in case you want to go to the police in the future. 

You also might want to contact a lawyer (one specializing in this type of situation) to ask for legal advice or assistance. It’s important to protect yourself as much as possible. So, reach out to someone who knows the law and knows what’s up.

If your leaked images are showing up on a website, flag and report them. Then ask site admin to take them down. Law enforcement might be able to influence the websites more, as they will likely have contacts at those sites or ways of having those images removed quickly and effectively. 

Additional Resources

These sites that are specifically designed to help people who are victims of leaked nudes, revenge porn, or any other sensitive imaging that has been posted without consent. 

And last but DEFINITELY not least, make sure that you’re talking with a mental health professional. Having your private pictures plastered on the internet is some traumatic shit! It can feel like a huge violation of trust. And, there are definitely some major emotions that you’ll need help working through. Take care of yourself and your mental health above everything else! 

 

We hope this helps you decide whether or not you want to send that special someone those nudes. The human body is beautiful and you should be proud of yours, but knowing some of the risks is always a good idea. Whatever you decide to do, remember that you can always find help here if you need it. Now, go on being your awesome self!

 

Feeling Playful: A Guide to Your Emotions

Hear us out…life is 1000x better when we feel playful, isn’t it? It’s the child-like, care-free part of ourselves that we don’t get to unleash very often. When we’re playful, we like to get a lil’ silly. We crack jokes and laugh. We don’t have a caaare in the world! Yeah sure, work is important too…but you know how the saying goes: all work and no play makes everything seem pretty fucking dull (no, that’s not the exact quote but we’re gonna roll with it anyway).

If you’re feeling playful right now and wanna learn more about how this emotion impacts your mental wellbeing, then you’ve come to the right place! Let’s dive thru feeling playful, ‘cause it’s a super underrated emotion that we should defs appreciate to the fullest.

A Deeper Look at Feeling Playful

So, feeling playful. What’s that like? APA Dictionary defines playfulness as: “n. the tendency to see the light or bright side of life, to joke with others, and not to take matters too seriously. Playfulness is considered to be a foundation of humor.” Side note: wouldn’t Foundation of Humor make a great indie band name? Ok, back to the point.

When we think of feeling playful, or the word ‘play’ in general, what typically comes to mind? For a lot of us, we probably associate playfulness with being a kid. But really though, all kids know is running around the playground, dressing up, playing games and making up stories. So of course they’re the epitome of playfulness: their whooole life is about play!

For adults, though? Yeah, playtime doesn’t come so easily for us, and it’s not just for lack of trying. Hellooo, we’ve got responsibilities! Places to be! Bills to pay! Who’s got the time for, ya know…fun or whatever. But we’re here to remind you that feeling playful is possible in everyday life, even for busy and hardworking badasses such as yourself! Sure, you’ve probably got a lot on the go. Chances are, you can’t just drop work or school at a moment’s notice to run away on a fun trip (it’s okay to admit you fantasize about it sometimes tho)!

Tapping into that playful side of yourself is great for your mental wellbeing and can help you let go of some of that stress, anxiety or burnout you might be struggling with. Don’t believe us? Just take a look at all of the benefits!

How Feeling Playful Shows Up Mentally

When we’re feeling playful, this feeling is rooted in one very key emotion. Can you take a guess? This should be an easy one. *drumroll* It’s happiness! You got it: having fun and connecting with our own playfulness has a positive effect on our overall mental wellbeing. Here are some positive symptoms you might notice when you give yourself the freedom to play:

  • Lifts your mood
  • Reduces stress and anxiety
  • Increases attentiveness and focus
  • Boosts productivity
  • Sparks creativity
  • Improves analytical skills
  • Promotes good thoughts
  • Increases motivation

Quick science lesson that you’ve probably heard before but we’re gonna say it again: our brains release the neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin throughout the body when we feel happy. So get playful and let those happy hormones fly! 

How Feeling Playful Shows Up Physically

Surprise! Feeling playful also has great physical benefits too. Who knew?! Since playfulness is tapped into those happy hormones released in the brain, our body is gonna follow suit. Here are some great physical benefits, if ya wanna see for yourself:

  • Reduces cortisol levels
  • Lowers blood pressure
  • Strengthens immune system
  • Provides better sleep
  • Improves digestion
  • Reduces pain
  • Lengthens lifespan

Sooo, what we’re understanding here is…happy people live longer? Don’t worry, we’re not just telling you: “Hey, just be happy! Then all of your problems will just go away! It’s easy!” What we ARE saying is that yes, life can be shitty sometimes. But let’s not take ourselves so seriously, even when it’s really hard. Embrace that silly side of yourself who likes to laugh, play and enjoy the little things! Which brings us to our next point… 

5 Ways to Embrace Feeling Playful

Now let’s get to the best part: some strategies for embracing your playful side! We promise this isn’t like homework or anything. We’re trying to have fun here, remember?! So try some of these practices out for yourself and unleash that playful side of you that’s been waiting to come out!

1. Move Your Body

We’ve got one word for you: endorphins. We know that exercise boosts endorphins, which make you happy! Even if physical activity isn’t your fave thing, there’s lots of fun ways to get active. Go for a walk, run, swim, bike, rock climbing, yoga, you name it. Dance around your room to a fun playlist like nobody’s watching, if that’s more your style! Whatever way you like, just get movin’ and groovin’. It’s worth it!

2. Engage in Compassionate Self Talk

Like we said before, finding our playful side can be a challenge. Especially when you’re stuck in the same routine, same responsibilities, blah blah blah. But news flash: you’re not a boring person! You never were, nor will you ever be. You might just need to shake things up! Try these compassionate self talk phrases: I have a hard time finding my playful side sometimes but that’s okay. I can get through this rut. My life isn’t all about work or other responsibilities. I can get shit done, and still have fun! (Hey that rhymed!)

3. Connect with a Friend

One of the best things about feeling playful is sharing that upbeat energy with your best pals! When was the last time you goofed around? Here’s an idea: plan a fun night with zero discussion about work, school or any other stressors in your life right now. Friends are great for venting but why not dedicate a whole day/night to let go of all of the heavy shit and just have fun?! Give each other wild makeovers, make up a funny song or have a dance party in your living room. The goofier the activity, the better!

4. Engage in Something Creative

Another great way to channel your playfulness? Gettin’ creative is a great method! Try your hand at drawing, sketching, doing calligraphy or painting. Write poems or stories. Practice an instrument, sing, dance! Feeling playful can help break down some of the walls you might put up around yourself. This a fun zone and a judgement-free zone! You get to be creative however you like.

5. Practice Gratitude

Showing gratitude for the things that bring us happiness and provide us with tons of energy?! Yeppp, that’s the best! Gratitude can look like simply taking notice of the good things in life and showing them appreciation. That might involve writing a list of things that bring you joy, volunteering in your community, or showing acts of kindness to the people who make your life better. Whatever it may be, gratitude feels great for everyone!

 

That’s it, that’s all for now. We hope these tips help you embrace your playful side and encourage you to have a lil’ bit of fun now and then. Trust us, it’s good for you!

 

Feeling Miserable: A Guide to Your Emotions

We all know that feeling miserable is a state of being…well, not super happy. On the outside looking in, your life might seem really great. But inside, there’s a whole other situation happening. It feels like you keep chasing happiness, but you just can’t seem to find the positives in your life right now. Despite some of the good things you have going for you, maybe you don’t feel the joy you’re supposed to be feeling. Instead, you wallow in misery and let the feeling completely take over. It’s the kinda feeling that makes you wanna lock the door, close the curtains and pull your blanket over your head to shut out the rest of the world. Basically, you start to shut down emotionally instead of looking for a way out. It’s self-sabotage and the longer it goes on, the harder it becomes to pull yourself out of this funk. But we promise, it’s not impossible to overcome this miserable feeling!

Everyone feels unhappy or miserable at times. We’re human, after all! And no matter how much we want it to be, life isn’t perfect. We still run into problems, challenges and periods of stress. But you’re not alone. Let’s dive thru feeling miserable and how you can cope with this negative emotion.

A Deeper Look at Feeling Miserable

What does it really mean to be miserable, anyway? Dictionary.com defines miserable as: “adj. wretchedly unhappy, uneasy, or uncomfortable.” Well, that sounds…not so pleasant. “Wretchedly unhappy” does have a fancy Victorian ring to it, so we might have to keep that term for future use.

Anyways. What causes us to feel so miserable? Well, when we’re unhappy with one or more aspects of our life. Maybe you compare yourself to other people constantly to the point where you’ve become unhappy with your life because it doesn’t look like someone else’s. Or you might set unrealistic expectations for yourself, so you constantly feel disappointed when you don’t measure up. You might be a bit of a people pleaser who worries constantly about failing the people who count on you. Defining your self-worth by your accomplishments, meeting milestones and always striving for “the next best thing” can also make you miserable. You become so caught up in a cycle of negative self talk and not feeling good enough, that you lose sight of all the positives. Maybe you’re also neglecting self care or making time for the things that bring you joy!

It’s not just you. We all get stuck in a pit of misery sometimes. It could be a lack of satisfaction from our careers, school, family, social lives, romantic relationships, you name it. But no matter what the reason, we’re here to help you get through this!

How Feeling Miserable Shows Up Mentally

If you’re constantly feeling miserable, it could be a sign of depression. The symptoms are very similar, so pay close attention to your thoughts and how you’re feeling! If you have difficulty pulling yourself out of this miserable rut, it would be beneficial to reach out to a mental health professional. Here are some of the mental signs of misery and depression you might be experiencing:

  • Difficulty focusing and completing tasks
  • Feeling empty, sad and hopeless
  • Becoming irritable and angry more easily
  • Anxiety and restlessness
  • Loss of interest in things you usually enjoy
  • Thoughts of self-harm

Again, these are normal feelings to go through sometimes. We all feel miserable at times, or have bad days. That’s part of being human! But you don’t have to go through this alone. If you feel like you’re constantly feeling miserable and your outlook isn’t becoming positive, reach out for help! There’s no shame in admitting you could use it.

How Feeling Miserable Shows Up Physically

Feeling miserable obviously impacts your mental health, but it can also affect your body in different ways. Here are a few physical symptoms you might notice when you’re feeling miserable and depressed:

  • Fatigue
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Headaches
  • Body aches
  • Digestive problems
  • High blood pressure
  • Changes in appetite or weight
  • Weakened immune system

Feeling miserable and depressed can be rough on your body, obviously. It can also make you more susceptible to health issues in the future, and we don’t want that. Definitely consult a doctor if many of these symptoms hinder your ability to function on a daily basis. You deserve health and happiness, so don’t be afraid to get the help you need and deserve!

5 Ways to Cope with Feeling Miserable

Okay, so you’re feeling miserable. Now what are you gonna do about it?! Don’t worry, we won’t make you fend for yourself. We’re here to help! Try out some of these coping strategies for yourself to turn that frown upside down.

1. Practice Gratitude

When we feel miserable, it’s hard to see all of the positive things in our lives. But showing gratitude is how we give appreciation for the good, no matter how small! That might include writing a list of things that bring you joy, volunteering in your community, or showing acts of kindness to the people who make your life better. It feels great for everyone involved!

2. Journal

This method right here? We love it. Swear by it. And 10/10 recommend it! Writing down your thoughts and feelings can give you a ton of clarity. Plus, it’s helpful for reframing negative thoughts into positive ones. It also feels very therapeutic and will help release all of those bad feelings you’ve been harbouring! So what are you waiting for? Grab a pen and get to writing!

3. Comfort Yourself Like a Friend

You have probably heard the saying “misery loves company” before. Well, sometimes we don’t always have someone available for us to vent about our feelings exactly when we need them the most. If you don’t have someone around who can be there for you right now, be there for yourself as best as you can. Pat yourself on the back, order some of your go-to comfort food and remind yourself that everything is gonna be okay.

4. Engage in Something Creative

What’s a sure way to pull yourself out of a rut? By getting creative! Do something artsy like drawing, sketching, doing calligraphy or painting. Write poems or try blog writing. Practice an instrument, sing, dance! Whatever creative activity lifts your mood and makes you feel better, do that. The possibilities are endless, plus it’s just really fun to create something from your own imagination!

5. Find a Positive Distraction

There’s so many positive ways to take your mind off things! Pick up that book you’ve been meaning to read. Watch an episode of a show that never fails to make you laugh. Clean out your closet. Listen to a podcast. It’s defs beneficial to focus on something other than the negative thoughts you’ve been having. 

 

That’s all for now, friend. Remember: this emotion doesn’t define you. We hope these tips help you get through this negative feeling! ‘Cause you deserve all the happiness.

 

8 Anxiety Tips for When You’re Feeling Anxious

Anxiety can hit out of nowhere and it’s. the. worst! Your heart starts to race. Your palms get all sweaty. (Maybe you feel like you’re gonna throw up mom’s spaghetti.) Yaaa whenever it happens, you’re straight up not having a good time. And it can be even MORE anxiety-inducing when you don’t know how tf to manage it. Well, we have good news! We’ve got some anxiety tips to help you get through it!

On one of our very own DiveThru Original podcasts, Anxious Like You, we go super in-depth about anxiety (because you’re defs not alone there) and we have some ahhh-mazing tips for you. So — without further ado — let’s dive thru some coping strategies and see how they can help with your anxiety!

1. Practice Deep Breathing

When we feel anxious af, breathing normally can be a bit of a struggle. But just like Ariana Grande said, you gotta “just keep breathin’ and breathin’ and breathiiin’.” Practicing controlled, deep breathing increases the amount of oxygen going to your brain and stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system. This makes you feel more calm and at ease (the total opposite of when we’re anxious, and short of breath or breathing super fast). So take a deeeeep breath in through your nose. Hold it as long as you can. Then, exhale slowwwwly through your mouth. There are lots of different types of breathing exercises out there, so use whichever one works best for you. Repeat as needed!

2. Eat Something Sour

If you ever feel a panic attack start to come on, or want a quick distraction from lingering anxiety, pop something sour in your mouth. Eat a sour candy or take a chomp of a lemon wedge. Your brain will switch gears and focus on the shocking, tingly sensation going on in your mouth, instead of your anxiety. Ahh, the ol’ sour switcheroo! We love how simple, yet effective, this method is. (This is your permission to keep a bag of sour candy in your car/desk/bag so it’s there for you whenever you need it!)

3. Ground Yourself with the 5-4-3-2-1 Exercise

Anxiety can make it feel like your mind is an escape room…and you’ve run out of clues. AHHHH, GET US OUTTA HERE PLEASE. But this grounding exercise does just the trick! It allows us to take a moment and notice:

  • 5 things you see (chair, water bottle, book, etc.)
  • 4 things you can touch (your clothing, your feet on the ground, your hair, etc.)
  • 3 things you hear (fan, birds, cars, etc.)
  • 2 things you smell (coffee, candle, toothpaste, etc.)
  • 1 thing you taste (drink, gum, candy, etc.)

Absorbing your surroundings and engaging all of your senses helps you regain a sense of control over your mind. You can feel present in the moment again — not trapped in that anxious feeling!

4. Progressive Muscle Relaxation

If you’ve never heard of this technique before, you’ve def gotta give it a go! Progressive muscle relaxation is a practice where you tense a group of muscles in your body (like your shoulders). And then you release them, noticing how relaxed your muscles feel when you do. It helps lower your stress and anxiety levels, making you feel wayyy more at ease in your body. You can start by tensing the muscles at the top of your body, then work all the way down. This method is also great for helping you relax in bed so that you can fall asleep better!

5. Hold an Ice Cube or Splash Yourself with Cold Water

Ice and cold water are great ways to activate that parasympathetic nervous system we talked about earlier. Hold an ice pack to your neck. Or, hold an ice cube in your hands. Alternatively, you can try splashing cold water on your face. These methods shock your nervous system to help pull you out of your anxiety. If you’re going to be out and about in public then bring along a water bottle, or a thermos with some ice in it. That way, you can have something on hand if you start to panic, no matter where you are. It’ll be more discrete but you’ll get the same effect!

6. Sparkling Water Technique

Sparkling water is all the rage these days. So refreshing! So many flavours! But another bonus to having a bubbly bevvy on hand is this super neat technique from our Anxious Like You hosts. This is one of our favourite anxiety tips, and it’s called the sparkling water technique!

First, take a can of sparkling water and pour it into a glass. Watch the teensy lil’ bubbles in the glass as they rise to the top. Listen to the fizzy sounds it makes. Turn the cup to watch from different angles, or swish the cup a bit to hear the sound of the bubbles get stronger. Feel the condensation on the glass. And then, take a sip and notice how the bubbles feel in your mouth. 

This is a grounding exercise that engages all 5 senses to help when you’re anxious, having a panic attack or dissociating. Just make sure not to chug it — those bubbles are no joke!

7. Visualize Your Happy Place

Do you have a happy place that you like daydreaming about sometimes? It’s probs safe to say that we all do! Visualize the beach you visited on your last vacay. Remember the sound of the waves and the birds, and how the warm sand felt between your toes. Or maybe your happy place is a mountain, with powdered snow crunching beneath your feet and crisp, cool air. Wherever paradise is for you, go there in your mind! Try to be as detailed as possible to help calm your mind. And, listen to songs or soundscapes that help to remind you of this place. We like to imagine that the roar of traffic through our window is actually the roar of the ocean, crashing up on rocks. It takes a little practice, but it’s suuuper effective!

8. Move Your Body

Moving your body releases endorphins, which can help combat all of that stress and anxiety you’re dealing with right now. So stand up. Stretch. Shake your body out. Take a break and go for a walk. If you’re alone, have a mini dance party to some of your fave bops. Just do something that gets you movin’ and groovin’ and takes your mind off your anxious thoughts!

We hope these anxiety tips help you work through your feelings of anxiety, whenever they come at you!