getting started
Written By: DiveThru Team
Reviewed By: Natalie Asayag MSW, LCSW
Trust isn’t something that we give freely and openly to others all the time. It’s something that takes time to build between people and it takes a lot of shared experience and proof that the person you’re putting your trust in is someone you can rely on. It doesn’t matter who this person is to you, or how they play a part in your life. But when you trust them, it shows that they matter a lot to you. Like… A LOT.
Fortunately or unfortunately, we don’t run around giving out trust like it’s candy on Halloween. That would be nice (imagine how cute that world would be!) but it just doesn’t happen. We’re raised with a healthy scepticism of others to keep ourselves safe, and if we’ve been burned in the past, we might not trust as easily as we used to.
As we grow and get more life experiences under our belts, the more we learn to put our trust in the few people we know will always be there when we need them. And because the feeling of trust is a kind of rarity, it makes this emotion allll the more special when you feel it. It’s a sign of true love and loyalty. Ahh, this is so mushy and cute! We want to be more sweet and adorable, so let’s get deeper into what feeling trust is all about!
Let’s start with the definition of trust. The lovely Merriam-Webster dictionary defines trust as “Assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. One in which confidence is placed. Dependence on something future or contingent: HOPE.”
Isn’t that adorable? Hope. That’s the perfect word to help describe what trusting someone is like. It’s like knowing that the hope you have won’t be let down, and that’s kind of fucking amazing!
You can have trust for a number of different people in your life and have varying levels of trust for each of them. Maybe you trust your landlord to help you out when your home needs repairs. Or, you trusted your parents when you were a kid to keep you safe. Your friends are trusted to be the emotional support you need. You even trust your coworkers to follow through on their jobs. It takes a really open heart and mind to trust another person, so props to you for feeling that way today!
But it’s important to remember that you can trust not only in others, but yourself as well. “Whaaaat? You can trust yourself?” Yep! You can trust your own judgement and decisions. Heck, you can even trust your gut! Listen to what your heart is telling your brain and just go with it!
We can sometimes lose trust in ourselves after we make a mistake or get hurt by another person, but trusting yourself is hella important. Why? Because you’re living with yourself forever, baby!
Trust isn’t an emotion that we usually think about. We all seem to know that we trust someone, so we don’t always think about trust as a feeling. But when you think about it, it truly is an emotion. Here are some ways that this feeling of trust appears to us mentally:
See? We were telling the truth! When we trust in a person, or trust in a process, we don’t have to worry about much (or anything at all). Why? Because we know that we won’t be let down. When we don’t have to worry or stress about that, our anxiety can kick up its feet and finally take a much-deserved break!
It’s kind of strange to think that trust can show up physically, but it can! Think about it. Reaaaaallllyyyy think about it. When you feel safe and you trust the person, or situation you’re in, your body feels that way too. No fight or flight response here! And, these are some other ways that you can feel trust physically:
No muscles are tensed and ready to run away because your body knows that it doesn’t have anything to stress over. You don’t feel threatened by anything, and you don’t have to worry about what’s going to happen. You can just exist. Not only that, but exist happilyyyyyy.
Learn to tune in to what your body is telling you. Sometimes we need to listen to our gut to know if we’re able to trust somebody. “But DiveThru, how do we know what our gut is saying?” Don’t worry. We’re getting to it! Here are some techniques to help you learn to trust more in yourself and others:
If you want to build trust within yourself or learn to trust your situation, spend some quiet time with a pet, hug a stuffed animal, touch something comforting like a cozy blanket, or even have a warm drink. Learn to trust in the situation or person you’re having to place your trust into by being comfy as fuck! Soothe any anxiety and worry away to the best of your abilities and be a cozy little bean while doing it.
Listen to your inner dialogue and your intuition. Listen to what your body and mind are telling you. You can do this with the help of meditation! If you don’t know where to start with meditation, there are sooooo many free guided meditation videos on YouTube that you can choose from.
If you’re having a hard time with trusting yourself, journal what you’re feeling and thinking and then try to reframe and counter negative thoughts. If you want to trust another person more, write down everythingggg you’re feeling about that person and the situation. But, if it turns out that you don’t think that you can trust them, that’s ok! You’re allowed to make that decision. Sometimes writing it out helps us sort what’s going on inside our minds. It makes it alllll make sense!
Sometimes, we can remember how much we trust the people in our lives when we reflect on how grateful we are for them. Think about how thankful you are for your best friend. You’d trust them with anything, right? Be grateful for that! If you want to trust yourself, be grateful for the decisions you’ve made. Yep–all of them! Appreciate how you’ve shown up for yourself time and time again. That’s incredibly trustworthy behaviour if we do say so ourselves!
Trust is a really positive emotion! So, associate that emotion with even more positivity by doing something creative and fun that you love. This could be any kind of art, crocheting, photography, painting, writing, scrapbooking, singing, playing an instrument… you name it! The possibilities are endless and we love it. Brb… we’re going to go knit a little hat.
We hope that you keep feeling this sense of trust! Trust is definitely an emotion that doesn’t get enough credit for how intense and important it can really be. We’re proud of you for feeling this way because it takes a lot of trust in yourself to be able to trust another person.
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