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relationships

Written By: DiveThru Team

Reviewed By: Amanda Kobly M.Ed., Registered Provisional Psychologist

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8 Tips for Dealing With Dating-App Fatigue

PUBLISHED Feb 23rd, 2022 & UPDATED ON Nov 7th, 2022

Dating app fatigue is very real. The constant revolving door of matches, choice paralysis, soooo many talking phases where you ask the same questions over and over and over… ugh. 

Finding someone to date in 2022 is tough. We’re two years into a pandemic, and it feels like dating apps are one of the few options left to meet new people! But the apps can become so exhausting after a while. How do you deal with it??

Well, that depends on why they tire you out! We’ve made a list with some common issues people deal with when it comes to dating apps, and how you can get through them. Let’s dive into dating apps!

1. Redefine Rejection

You found someone you really click with! You talk all the time! You even went on a date, and it felt amazing! You updated the group chat about the new boo and things are looking up! But then they hit you with, “I don’t see this going anywhere.” Ouch. Or even worse, they freaking ghost you

Rejection can feel rough. And veeeerry personal, especially in a dating situation. When you’re rejected for a job, it could be based on your experience, education, the company making an internal hire, or so many other factors. But if someone rejects you in a dating situation, it can feel like they’re rejecting you, like, as a human being. That can sting. On dating apps, you can even feel the twinge of rejection before you meet them, when you think a sure match goes unswiped on their end. 

Getting rejected doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong, bad, or flawed with you. It simply means you weren’t a match. Think of it this way: you can have the most perfectly baked, perfectly sweet, perfectly warm slice of pumpkin pie in front of you. But if you’re not a fan of pumpkin pie, you won’t want to eat it, regardless of how perfect it is.

So don’t give up! Be your most perfect pumpkin pie-self, and someone out there will want to eat you up. In a dating way. You get it. 

2. Make Sure It’s Still Fun

Dating should be fun! Talking to someone new should get you all warm and fuzzy inside. Planning a date or hookup should be something you’re 100% down and ready to do. 

A lot of dating app burnout can come from feeling like it’s a chore, or getting sick of drawn-out talking phases that never lead to anything. Is every match gonna be the whirlwind adventure of your wildest rom-com dreams? Nope. But you definitely shouldn’t dread opening up the app, or ignore your matches because you think they’ll fail before they start.

Basically, if it’s not fun, either give yourself a break from the apps, or try to approach them with less pressure to “succeed.” Think less about the end goal and more about getting to know a new person. These dating app icebreakers could help you out!

3. Get To Know Yourself

Speaking of which! Do you know yourself?

I mean, of course you do, to some extent. You’re hanging out with yourself literally all the time. But getting to know your own thoughts, emotions, and motivations can help you combat dating app fatigue. Asking yourself questions can help you understand why you’re fatigued, why you’re turning to dating apps in the first place, and how you can refocus on things that bring you energy and excitement.

One of our fave ways of getting to know yourself is through journaling. When you find that you’re dreading the apps, try out these prompts:

Why am I wanting to download or open up a dating app right now?

Do I find dating apps beneficial, harmful, or neutral for my mental health? 

When do I feel dating app fatigue the most? 

The prompts won’t fix the fatigue, but getting to the source can help you figure out whether you really want to use the apps to find a match, or are just doing it out of boredom, loneliness, or a desire for validation. No judgment here, btw! Everyone wants to feel desirable every once in a while. Just make sure it’s not bringing you down, okay?

Side note, if you want hundreds more journaling prompts from the convenience of your phone, the DiveThru app has soooo many to choose from! So many topics, so many prompts, so much introspection. Oooohh, and the app is free. So go ahead and download it. Plz. Thx. 

4. Focus On You

What makes you happy? 

So much of using a dating app is trying to attract other people. That’s kinda the whole point. But what brings you joy? What excites you? If the app is bringing you down, re-evaluate your approach. How much of your Tinder profile really reflects you and your interests vs. trying to appear attractive to the highest amount of people? Are your matches giving you as much effort as you give them?

We know that telling you to focus on yourself is weird dating advice, since dating involves at leeeeast one more person. But think about it: when you see someone living their happiest life and chasing their passions, that’s super attractive, right?? Getting matches is cute and fresh and fun, but remember to live your best life in the process! 

5. Take a Break

I mean, this one is so obvious that it shouldn’t have to be said, right? But juuuust in case you hadn’t considered it, taking a break from the apps can help.

When you’re burned out by something, a break might be in order. Delete the app for a week. You don’t have to delete it in a frustrated rage, though—just wanting a breather is a valid reason. If and when it feels right, redownload it. If you find yourself happier without the apps, maybe you need some more time away. 

6. Try a New Platform

These days, a lot of people are turning to social media as a matchmaking service! There are Twitter threads where you describe yourself, your interests, and add a couple pics, and people DM you off of that. There’s even TikTok matchmaker accounts dedicated to featuring people in the videos that are looking for a love match. 

Choice paralysis is one of the big drawbacks of dating apps, and can definitely lead to fatigue. There’s an incentive to keep swiping and see if something better comes up in the same way that we scroll endlessly through social media. If you always have the possibility of a new match waiting around the corner, how can you put effort into one you already have? Try to focus on less people at a time and really consider them before swiping again. Limit how many convos you have going at a time.

7. Volunteer Locally To Meet People

Maybe your dating app fatigue is less about the dating and more about the app. In that case, get out there and volunteer!

What are you passionate about?? Look it up and find a local organization or event dedicated to that thing. Whether you want to volunteer at an animal shelter, a concert, or a convention—volunteering makes meeting someone in your area extra easy. 

Even if you don’t find the love of your life, you could find a great friend, which is pretty sweet, too. And maybe that friend introduces you to someone you end up dating! Either way, there’s no dating app fatigue involved, and you end up with cool people in your life who are interested in the same stuff you do. We love to see it! 

8. Journey > Destination

The cycle of using, deleting, and re-downloading dating apps can deeefinitely become tiring after a while. You’re probably going to have many matches that go nowhere, talking phases that fizzle out, and you might even be ghosted once or twice. All of that can make it tough to keep using the apps. 

Try to take your matches one step at a time. Instead of thinking big picture and far in the future, when you get a match, think about getting to know them. If that goes well, then you can think about a first date. After that, a second date. But in the whole process, if you’re approaching every match like they’re your one true love, you’ll likely be disappointed. So stay in the present, see where things go, and don’t forget to have fun with it!

Read More: 8 Tips to Work Through Your First Date Nerves, Coping With Infidelity: How to Heal After Being Cheated On,

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