DiveThru Team, Author at DiveThru

Feeling Playful: A Guide to Your Emotions

Hear us out…life is 1000x better when we feel playful, isn’t it? It’s the child-like, care-free part of ourselves that we don’t get to unleash very often. When we’re playful, we like to get a lil’ silly. We crack jokes and laugh. We don’t have a caaare in the world! Yeah sure, work is important too…but you know how the saying goes: all work and no play makes everything seem pretty fucking dull (no, that’s not the exact quote but we’re gonna roll with it anyway).

If you’re feeling playful right now and wanna learn more about how this emotion impacts your mental wellbeing, then you’ve come to the right place! Let’s dive thru feeling playful, ‘cause it’s a super underrated emotion that we should defs appreciate to the fullest.

A Deeper Look at Feeling Playful

So, feeling playful. What’s that like? APA Dictionary defines playfulness as: “n. the tendency to see the light or bright side of life, to joke with others, and not to take matters too seriously. Playfulness is considered to be a foundation of humor.” Side note: wouldn’t Foundation of Humor make a great indie band name? Ok, back to the point.

When we think of feeling playful, or the word ‘play’ in general, what typically comes to mind? For a lot of us, we probably associate playfulness with being a kid. But really though, all kids know is running around the playground, dressing up, playing games and making up stories. So of course they’re the epitome of playfulness: their whooole life is about play!

For adults, though? Yeah, playtime doesn’t come so easily for us, and it’s not just for lack of trying. Hellooo, we’ve got responsibilities! Places to be! Bills to pay! Who’s got the time for, ya know…fun or whatever. But we’re here to remind you that feeling playful is possible in everyday life, even for busy and hardworking badasses such as yourself! Sure, you’ve probably got a lot on the go. Chances are, you can’t just drop work or school at a moment’s notice to run away on a fun trip (it’s okay to admit you fantasize about it sometimes tho)!

Tapping into that playful side of yourself is great for your mental wellbeing and can help you let go of some of that stress, anxiety or burnout you might be struggling with. Don’t believe us? Just take a look at all of the benefits!

How Feeling Playful Shows Up Mentally

When we’re feeling playful, this feeling is rooted in one very key emotion. Can you take a guess? This should be an easy one. *drumroll* It’s happiness! You got it: having fun and connecting with our own playfulness has a positive effect on our overall mental wellbeing. Here are some positive symptoms you might notice when you give yourself the freedom to play:

Lifts your mood
Reduces stress and anxiety
Increases attentiveness and focus
Boosts productivity
Sparks creativity
Improves analytical skills
Promotes good thoughts
Increases motivation

Quick science lesson that you’ve probably heard before but we’re gonna say it again: our brains release the neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin throughout the body when we feel happy. So get playful and let those happy hormones fly!

How Feeling Playful Shows Up Physically

Surprise! Feeling playful also has great physical benefits too. Who knew?! Since playfulness is tapped into those happy hormones released in the brain, our body is gonna follow suit. Here are some great physical benefits, if ya wanna see for yourself:

Reduces cortisol levels
Lowers blood pressure
Strengthens immune system
Provides better sleep
Improves digestion
Reduces pain
Lengthens lifespan

Sooo, what we’re understanding here is…happy people live longer? Don’t worry, we’re not just telling you: “Hey, just be happy! Then all of your problems will just go away! It’s easy!” What we ARE saying is that yes, life can be shitty sometimes. But let’s not take ourselves so seriously, even when it’s really hard. Embrace that silly side of yourself who likes to laugh, play and enjoy the little things! Which brings us to our next point…

5 Ways to Embrace Feeling Playful

Now let’s get to the best part: some strategies for embracing your playful side! We promise this isn’t like homework or anything. We’re trying to have fun here, remember?! So try some of these practices out for yourself and unleash that playful side of you that’s been waiting to come out!

1. Move Your Body

We’ve got one word for you: endorphins. We know that exercise boosts endorphins, which make you happy! Even if physical activity isn’t your fave thing, there’s lots of fun ways to get active. Go for a walk, run, swim, bike, rock climbing, yoga, you name it. Dance around your room to a fun playlist like nobody’s watching, if that’s more your style! Whatever way you like, just get movin’ and groovin’. It’s worth it!

2. Engage in Compassionate Self Talk

Like we said before, finding our playful side can be a challenge. Especially when you’re stuck in the same routine, same responsibilities, blah blah blah. But news flash: you’re not a boring person! You never were, nor will you ever be. You might just need to shake things up! Try these compassionate self talk phrases: I have a hard time finding my playful side sometimes but that’s okay. I can get through this rut. My life isn’t all about work or other responsibilities. I can get shit done, and still have fun! (Hey that rhymed!)

3. Connect with a Friend

One of the best things about feeling playful is sharing that upbeat energy with your best pals! When was the last time you goofed around? Here’s an idea: plan a fun night with zero discussion about work, school or any other stressors in your life right now. Friends are great for venting but why not dedicate a whole day/night to let go of all of the heavy shit and just have fun?! Give each other wild makeovers, make up a funny song or have a dance party in your living room. The goofier the activity, the better!

4. Engage in Something Creative

Another great way to channel your playfulness? Gettin’ creative is a great method! Try your hand at drawing, sketching, doing calligraphy or painting. Write poems or stories. Practice an instrument, sing, dance! Feeling playful can help break down some of the walls you might put up around yourself. This a fun zone and a judgement-free zone! You get to be creative however you like.

5. Practice Gratitude

Showing gratitude for the things that bring us happiness and provide us with tons of energy?! Yeppp, that’s the best! Gratitude can look like simply taking notice of the good things in life and showing them appreciation. That might involve writing a list of things that bring you joy, volunteering in your community, or showing acts of kindness to the people who make your life better. Whatever it may be, gratitude feels great for everyone!

That’s it, that’s all for now. We hope these tips help you embrace your playful side and encourage you to have a lil’ bit of fun now and then. Trust us, it’s good for you!

Feeling Miserable: A Guide to Your Emotions

We all know that feeling miserable is a state of being…well, not super happy. On the outside looking in, your life might seem really great. But inside, there’s a whole other situation happening. It feels like you keep chasing happiness, but you just can’t seem to find the positives in your life right now. Despite some of the good things you have going for you, maybe you don’t feel the joy you’re supposed to be feeling. Instead, you wallow in misery and let the feeling completely take over. It’s the kinda feeling that makes you wanna lock the door, close the curtains and pull your blanket over your head to shut out the rest of the world. Basically, you start to shut down emotionally instead of looking for a way out. It’s self-sabotage and the longer it goes on, the harder it becomes to pull yourself out of this funk. But we promise, it’s not impossible to overcome this miserable feeling!

Everyone feels unhappy or miserable at times. We’re human, after all! And no matter how much we want it to be, life isn’t perfect. We still run into problems, challenges and periods of stress. But you’re not alone. Let’s dive thru feeling miserable and how you can cope with this negative emotion.

A Deeper Look at Feeling Miserable

What does it really mean to be miserable, anyway? Dictionary.com defines miserable as: “adj. wretchedly unhappy, uneasy, or uncomfortable.” Well, that sounds…not so pleasant. “Wretchedly unhappy” does have a fancy Victorian ring to it, so we might have to keep that term for future use.

Anyways. What causes us to feel so miserable? Well, when we’re unhappy with one or more aspects of our life. Maybe you compare yourself to other people constantly to the point where you’ve become unhappy with your life because it doesn’t look like someone else’s. Or you might set unrealistic expectations for yourself, so you constantly feel disappointed when you don’t measure up. You might be a bit of a people pleaser who worries constantly about failing the people who count on you. Defining your self-worth by your accomplishments, meeting milestones and always striving for “the next best thing” can also make you miserable. You become so caught up in a cycle of negative self talk and not feeling good enough, that you lose sight of all the positives. Maybe you’re also neglecting self care or making time for the things that bring you joy!

It’s not just you. We all get stuck in a pit of misery sometimes. It could be a lack of satisfaction from our careers, school, family, social lives, romantic relationships, you name it. But no matter what the reason, we’re here to help you get through this!

How Feeling Miserable Shows Up Mentally

If you’re constantly feeling miserable, it could be a sign of depression. The symptoms are very similar, so pay close attention to your thoughts and how you’re feeling! If you have difficulty pulling yourself out of this miserable rut, it would be beneficial to reach out to a mental health professional. Here are some of the mental signs of misery and depression you might be experiencing:

Difficulty focusing and completing tasks
Feeling empty, sad and hopeless
Becoming irritable and angry more easily
Anxiety and restlessness
Loss of interest in things you usually enjoy
Thoughts of self-harm

Again, these are normal feelings to go through sometimes. We all feel miserable at times, or have bad days. That’s part of being human! But you don’t have to go through this alone. If you feel like you’re constantly feeling miserable and your outlook isn’t becoming positive, reach out for help! There’s no shame in admitting you could use it.

How Feeling Miserable Shows Up Physically

Feeling miserable obviously impacts your mental health, but it can also affect your body in different ways. Here are a few physical symptoms you might notice when you’re feeling miserable and depressed:

Fatigue
Difficulty sleeping
Headaches
Body aches
Digestive problems
High blood pressure
Changes in appetite or weight
Weakened immune system

Feeling miserable and depressed can be rough on your body, obviously. It can also make you more susceptible to health issues in the future, and we don’t want that. Definitely consult a doctor if many of these symptoms hinder your ability to function on a daily basis. You deserve health and happiness, so don’t be afraid to get the help you need and deserve!

5 Ways to Cope with Feeling Miserable

Okay, so you’re feeling miserable. Now what are you gonna do about it?! Don’t worry, we won’t make you fend for yourself. We’re here to help! Try out some of these coping strategies for yourself to turn that frown upside down.

1. Practice Gratitude

When we feel miserable, it’s hard to see all of the positive things in our lives. But showing gratitude is how we give appreciation for the good, no matter how small! That might include writing a list of things that bring you joy, volunteering in your community, or showing acts of kindness to the people who make your life better. It feels great for everyone involved!

2. Journal

This method right here? We love it. Swear by it. And 10/10 recommend it! Writing down your thoughts and feelings can give you a ton of clarity. Plus, it’s helpful for reframing negative thoughts into positive ones. It also feels very therapeutic and will help release all of those bad feelings you’ve been harbouring! So what are you waiting for? Grab a pen and get to writing!

3. Comfort Yourself Like a Friend

You have probably heard the saying “misery loves company” before. Well, sometimes we don’t always have someone available for us to vent about our feelings exactly when we need them the most. If you don’t have someone around who can be there for you right now, be there for yourself as best as you can. Pat yourself on the back, order some of your go-to comfort food and remind yourself that everything is gonna be okay.

4. Engage in Something Creative

What’s a sure way to pull yourself out of a rut? By getting creative! Do something artsy like drawing, sketching, doing calligraphy or painting. Write poems or try blog writing. Practice an instrument, sing, dance! Whatever creative activity lifts your mood and makes you feel better, do that. The possibilities are endless, plus it’s just really fun to create something from your own imagination!

5. Find a Positive Distraction

There’s so many positive ways to take your mind off things! Pick up that book you’ve been meaning to read. Watch an episode of a show that never fails to make you laugh. Clean out your closet. Listen to a podcast. It’s defs beneficial to focus on something other than the negative thoughts you’ve been having.

That’s all for now, friend. Remember: this emotion doesn’t define you. We hope these tips help you get through this negative feeling! ‘Cause you deserve all the happiness.

8 Anxiety Tips for When You’re Feeling Anxious

Anxiety can hit out of nowhere and it’s. the. worst! Your heart starts to race. Your palms get all sweaty. (Maybe you feel like you’re gonna throw up mom’s spaghetti.) Yaaa whenever it happens, you’re straight up not having a good time. And it can be even MORE anxiety-inducing when you don’t know how tf to manage it. Well, we have good news! We’ve got some anxiety tips to help you get through it!

On one of our very own DiveThru Original podcasts, Anxious Like You, we go super in-depth about anxiety (because you’re defs not alone there) and we have some ahhh-mazing tips for you. So — without further ado — let’s dive thru some coping strategies and see how they can help with your anxiety!

1. Practice Deep Breathing

When we feel anxious af, breathing normally can be a bit of a struggle. But just like Ariana Grande said, you gotta “just keep breathin’ and breathin’ and breathiiin’.” Practicing controlled, deep breathing increases the amount of oxygen going to your brain and stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system. This makes you feel more calm and at ease (the total opposite of when we’re anxious, and short of breath or breathing super fast). So take a deeeeep breath in through your nose. Hold it as long as you can. Then, exhale slowwwwly through your mouth. There are lots of different types of breathing exercises out there, so use whichever one works best for you. Repeat as needed!

2. Eat Something Sour

If you ever feel a panic attack start to come on, or want a quick distraction from lingering anxiety, pop something sour in your mouth. Eat a sour candy or take a chomp of a lemon wedge. Your brain will switch gears and focus on the shocking, tingly sensation going on in your mouth, instead of your anxiety. Ahh, the ol’ sour switcheroo! We love how simple, yet effective, this method is. (This is your permission to keep a bag of sour candy in your car/desk/bag so it’s there for you whenever you need it!)

3. Ground Yourself with the 5-4-3-2-1 Exercise

Anxiety can make it feel like your mind is an escape room…and you’ve run out of clues. AHHHH, GET US OUTTA HERE PLEASE. But this grounding exercise does just the trick! It allows us to take a moment and notice:

5 things you see (chair, water bottle, book, etc.)
4 things you can touch (your clothing, your feet on the ground, your hair, etc.)
3 things you hear (fan, birds, cars, etc.)
2 things you smell (coffee, candle, toothpaste, etc.)
1 thing you taste (drink, gum, candy, etc.)

Absorbing your surroundings and engaging all of your senses helps you regain a sense of control over your mind. You can feel present in the moment again — not trapped in that anxious feeling!

4. Progressive Muscle Relaxation

If you’ve never heard of this technique before, you’ve def gotta give it a go! Progressive muscle relaxation is a practice where you tense a group of muscles in your body (like your shoulders). And then you release them, noticing how relaxed your muscles feel when you do. It helps lower your stress and anxiety levels, making you feel wayyy more at ease in your body. You can start by tensing the muscles at the top of your body, then work all the way down. This method is also great for helping you relax in bed so that you can fall asleep better!

5. Hold an Ice Cube or Splash Yourself with Cold Water

Ice and cold water are great ways to activate that parasympathetic nervous system we talked about earlier. Hold an ice pack to your neck. Or, hold an ice cube in your hands. Alternatively, you can try splashing cold water on your face. These methods shock your nervous system to help pull you out of your anxiety. If you’re going to be out and about in public then bring along a water bottle, or a thermos with some ice in it. That way, you can have something on hand if you start to panic, no matter where you are. It’ll be more discrete but you’ll get the same effect!

6. Sparkling Water Technique

Sparkling water is all the rage these days. So refreshing! So many flavours! But another bonus to having a bubbly bevvy on hand is this super neat technique from our Anxious Like You hosts. This is one of our favourite anxiety tips, and it’s called the sparkling water technique!

First, take a can of sparkling water and pour it into a glass. Watch the teensy lil’ bubbles in the glass as they rise to the top. Listen to the fizzy sounds it makes. Turn the cup to watch from different angles, or swish the cup a bit to hear the sound of the bubbles get stronger. Feel the condensation on the glass. And then, take a sip and notice how the bubbles feel in your mouth.

This is a grounding exercise that engages all 5 senses to help when you’re anxious, having a panic attack or dissociating. Just make sure not to chug it — those bubbles are no joke!

7. Visualize Your Happy Place

Do you have a happy place that you like daydreaming about sometimes? It’s probs safe to say that we all do! Visualize the beach you visited on your last vacay. Remember the sound of the waves and the birds, and how the warm sand felt between your toes. Or maybe your happy place is a mountain, with powdered snow crunching beneath your feet and crisp, cool air. Wherever paradise is for you, go there in your mind! Try to be as detailed as possible to help calm your mind. And, listen to songs or soundscapes that help to remind you of this place. We like to imagine that the roar of traffic through our window is actually the roar of the ocean, crashing up on rocks. It takes a little practice, but it’s suuuper effective!

8. Move Your Body

Moving your body releases endorphins, which can help combat all of that stress and anxiety you’re dealing with right now. So stand up. Stretch. Shake your body out. Take a break and go for a walk. If you’re alone, have a mini dance party to some of your fave bops. Just do something that gets you movin’ and groovin’ and takes your mind off your anxious thoughts!

We hope these anxiety tips help you work through your feelings of anxiety, whenever they come at you!

Feeling Extravagant: A Guide to Your Emotions

Extravagant. What comes to mind when you think of that word? Extraaaaavagant. Some of us might picture an 80-year-old woman in a massive fur coat walking down the streets of New York, adorned in jewellery that we could never afford. Her apartment is the epitome of maximalism and she looks like she could throw money into the fireplace to keep herself warm and not miss it. Ugh. Wouldn’t that be nice!?

To others, extravagance might mean indulging in something that makes them feel good! This could mean getting dressed up in your nicest clothes and going out for dinner to celebrate anything or nothing! It might mean having a fun night in with your friends and laughing so hard that your face hurts.

But what does this feeling mean to you? You’ve clicked on this article so you’re feeling extravagant in some kind of way. Honestly, we love that for you! So let’s take this moment to examine this emotion (extravagantly of course).

A Deeper Look at Feeling Extravagant

Let’s take a look at some synonyms of extravagant to get a better understanding of the emotion itself: absurd, bizarre, flashy, lavish, ostentatious, showy, costly, fanciful.

So many of the synonyms for extravagance are related to wealth and money. Even one of the definitions on Dictionary.com talks about how being extravagant is equivalent to wasting money: “spending much more than is necessary or wise; wasteful.” But we actually prefer this definition instead: “exceeding the bounds of reason, as actions, demands, opinions, or passions.”

Feeling extravagant doesn’t always have to feel like you’re being lavish and living in luxury 24/7. It can just mean indulging in something that brings you happiness. One of our favourite examples of this is these best friends who love pink and yellow soooo much that they’ve incorporated it into every aspect of their world! That’s so cute and very extravagant in our opinion. They’re following their passions and going above and beyond to find something that brings them joy!

You don’t have to have tons of money or spend tons of money to feel extravagant. That idea is hella classist! Feeling extravagant can come in the form of having a nice bath and a glass of wine, or splurging and ordering in dinner one night instead of cooking it. Wherever this feeling comes from, chase it! You don’t have to be that lavish woman living in New York to make this happen. It can come from small things in your life that make you feel fine af.

How Extravagance Shows Up Mentally

When you feel extravagant, you know that you’re the baddest bitch that ever walked this earth. Your shoes hit the ground, and the ground says “Thank you for walking on me.” You flip your hair and the wind says “Thank you for creating me.” There is unbridled confidence that comes with the territory of extravagant. You know that because you feel amazing!

Confidence
Pride
Self-assurance
Increased self-worth
Happiness

You are revelling in the world that you’ve created. Everything seems brighter, feels better, sounds more beautiful, and hell, it even smells better! Why? Because you’re following what makes you happy! With great pleasure comes greatly increased mental health.

How Extravagance Shows Up Physically

Extravagance doesn’t always have to do with the kind of clothes you wear or what you purchase. It can come from your attitude too. If you want to feel extravagant in some fancy frocks, go to town! Do what makes you feel good! Maybe you’re simply feeling fine as fuck today with no extra help from the clothes you’re wearing. Either way, this is how you’re physically radiating your extravagance to the rest of the world:

Increased performance
Increased energy
More likely to stay hydrated and nourished
Improved sleep
More likely to perform self-care

You feel confident and relaxed knowing that you are here to rock everyone’s world in the best kind of way! You feel confident and content with who you are, so obviously feeling amazing leads to amazing things! You’re killin’ it at your job, you’re feeling pumped and excited to live your life, and you’re sleeping well because of it! It’s allllllll coming up roses for you now!

5 Ways to Embrace Feeling Extravagant

You deserve to feel like this all the time! Why? Because why wouldn’t you want to? Are you a Greek statue carved from marble? Maybe! You feel that good! We’re going to give you a few tips on how to embrace this feeling so that the good vibes keep coming your way:

1. Journal

Write about how you’re feeling and why you’re feeling this way. The more attention you give to this emotion, the more it can grow. So write about it all! If you’re ever not feeling as extravagant as you are today, you can always return to this journal entry to remind yourself that you ARE in fact deserving of this emotion.

2. Visualize Your Happy Place

When you visualize your happy place when you’re in a good headspace, the more positive emotions will be associated with it. When you’re eventually not in a good headspace and need to go to your happy place for some peace, you’ll have this badass energy waiting there to help pick you up too.

3. Practice Gratitude

Practicing gratitude for the things in your life can bring about so much positive energy! It’s wild! So, to help cultivate your gratitude and extravagance, you can start off being grateful for all the good emotions and feeling that you’re experiencing today. From there, you can be grateful for yourself, then your friends, then more and more and more! Start inward and work outward.

4. Connect with a Friend

Have the good vibes flow between the two of you! The more positive energy there is, the more you’ll create. Sometimes, we just need a friend to celebrate the wins with us and have a fun time! So, call up your bestie and let the world know how badass the two of you are!

5. Meditate

Sometimes it benefits us to sit with an emotion for a bit and learn more about ourselves in the silence. Meditating on the emotion of extravagance also allows us to learn more about that feeling, and teach us to access it whenever we want!

There you have it! We don’t really need to give you any more advice because you’re already “feeling your oats” as Gian Gunn would say. So go feel them, sew them, eat them! Do whatever you want today because you’re extravagant af, baby!

‘Do I Need Therapy?’ 15 Signs You Would Benefit From It

Deciding that you’ll be going to therapy is huge. HUGE, we tell you! So you should feel super proud of yourself for taking this step towards bettering your mental wellbeing, even if this whole therapy thing is uncharted territory for you. But part of you might be wondering…Do I really NEED therapy, though? You could be experiencing some self-doubt and second guessing whether your inner thoughts, feelings or life problems are even important/big enough for therapy.

We’re here to tell you that no matter what you’re going through, therapy is a 10/10 option that you should really consider trying out. ‘Cause here’s the thing: Everyone deserves to feel heard. Everyone deserves a chance to work through their emotions, the good and the bad. You deserve the opportunity to improve your mental wellbeing and live your best life!

If you’re still unsure, that’s okay! Here are some signs that you would benefit from therapy.

1. Your Sleep Schedule Is Not Ideal

Do you toss and turn all night? Hit snooze on every alarm in the morning ‘cause you just can’t get out of bed? Feel super tired all of the time, even though you’re technicallyyy getting enough hours of sleep every night?

If it’s a YES to any, or all, of the above, there could be something else going on (ahem, like stress…or anxiety…or depression) that won’t let you catch those ZZZs. Lack of sleep is linked to poor mental AND physical health, so don’t put off getting the help you need!

2. You’re Grieving

Grief is the painful emotion you feel when you’ve lost someone, or something, that means a lot to you. You could be grieving someone’s death, the end of a relationship, the loss of a job, or even the effects of climate change. But the good news is, you don’t have to go through it alone!

Grief therapy can be incredibly healing as it helps you process alllll the things you’re feeling, even those yucky emotions you’d rather ignore so they’ll just go away on their own (pssst…they won’t go away on their own. Talk to someone!).

3. Your Appetite or Relationship with Food Has Changed

Maybe you have no appetite at all, even though you know that food = fuel and you gotta get those nutrients in. Maybe you struggle with binge-eating in private and feeling sooo ashamed when it happens. Maybe you have poor body image and have set some super restrictive eating habits to get the ‘perfect beach bod’ before summer rolls around. These are just a few signs that your relationship with food isn’t physically or mentally healthy, at all.

Drastic changes in your diet could be signalling emotional eating, eating disorders, anxiety or depression and might be signs that you need counselling. Having an initial convo with a therapist could be suuuuper eye-opening to figure out if you need a bit of support right now! And getting the support you need is NEVER a bad thing.

4. You Rely on Substances to Cope with Your Feelings

If you’re under a lot of stress, or having a tough time dealing with your emotions, you might turn to substances to cope. Self-medicating with alcohol and drugs can alleviate the pain or distress you’re feeling in the moment, but they’re just a temporary escape and won’t help you in the long run.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with having some patio beers with friends or enjoying a glass of wine while streaming The Bachelor. But developing a dependency on substances is obvs not healthy for your mental OR physical health, especially if they change your behaviour and put you (or others around you) in harm’s way. Going to therapy might be the right approach in this situation and make a huge difference in how you cope with and/or recover from a substance use concern.

5. You’ve Experienced Trauma

Trauma is a lasting emotional response to something really terrible that has happened to you. Whether it was something ongoing in your childhood (like abuse) or a one-time event as an adult (like a bad car crash), the long-term effects of trauma can be really hard to manage on your own.

When the effects of trauma are ongoing and unresolved, they can develop into a condition called post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Finding a therapist who specializes in trauma recovery can be helpful to work through any past or recent trauma! If there’s ever a time when you should consider therapy, it’s when you’re dealing with trauma. Having professional support in your recovery can make a huge difference.

6. You’re Going Through a Breakup

Going through a breakup fucking sucks — there’s no other way to put it. When you’re in a relationship, you become used to the constant dopamine hits and lovey-dovey feelings on a regular basis.

So when that’s over and done? Oof, it’s rough. It’s like you’re going through love withdrawal. Chances are, you really miss the good times you shared with that person, no matter how things ended. Talking about it in therapy can help you navigate all of your feels and eventually move on from the relationship.

7. You’re Not Interested in Things That Usually Bring You Joy

When we’re going through some shit, we typically turn to the things that make us feel happy. Maybe you like to get up early and watch the sun rise with a cup of coffee. Or you might take your dog to the park and watch them run around with other furry friends. To unwind after work, you might light a candle, sink into a warm bath filled with allll the nice-smelling things. It could even be something as simple as re-watching our comfort show for the 76483th time.

But now, those activities that once filled you with joy just kinda feel…meh. It’s a huge bummer, and you’re not sure why those little things just don’t do it for you anymore. There could be an underlying problem going on, but good news — working through it in therapy can help bring that spark back!

8. Your Motivation Is Non-Existent

When the state of your mental health is no bueno, you’re probably not gonna be performing your best at school or work. It’s not that you’re lazy, or you wanna give up when things get too hard, it’s just that you’ve got no motivation. and it doesn’t matter how badly you WANT to feel motivated or productive. It’s just. not. there.

Maybe you’ve noticed your grades are slipping or that you’re always behind at work. Therapy can help you find the source of this problem and tackle it head-on, so that you can go back to kicking ass in the classroom/workroom like you usually do!

9. Your Mood Is All Over the Place

It’s normal to feel anxious, sad or angry sometimes. Life, right? It does things to us. But if it feels like you’re crying one minute and lashing out at someone the next (like, all the time) then hold up! This could mean that you’re struggling with regulating your emotions and need to learn ways to manage them a lil’ bit better.

Lucky for you, your therapist is kind of an expert at this stuff. They’ll guide you on how to regulate these back-and-forth emotions (and the source of these emotions) so they don’t rule your life!

10. You Just Don’t Care

That’s it, that’s the tweet. You just DGAF about yourself, your life, anything.

11. You Worry All the Time

It’s normal to worry now and then, but constant anxiety? It can be super overwhelming to deal with, not to mention hella draining. Always worrying about possible scenarios, what other people think of you, and other stressors that play on a constant loop in your brain? Nuh-uh, we’re not having it anymore!

If anxious thoughts are controlling you, we’ll say it again…therapy. You’ll learn how to accept, manage and reframe these thoughts so that you can work through them when they show up!

12. You Feel Hopeless

Feeling hopeless about your situation or your future can be a scary feeling. It’s like there’s no end in sight to the hard times, and nothing to look forward to. You might feel like just giving up on even trying, ‘cause what’s the point? It’s not like things are gonna change…

Wrong. Things can abso-freakin-lutely get better for you. There is always hope, friend. You just might need some help along the way, and there’s NO shame in that.

13. You Isolate Yourself

You get a text from your mom checking in, but just can’t bring yourself to answer. Your friends ask you to hang out on the weekend, but you make up some B.S. excuse so you don’t have to go. Maybe you avoid the lunchroom at work so you don’t have to socialize with your coworkers, even though you do like them.

Everyone needs some alone time (especially if you’re an introvert who needs to unwind after socializing all day). But withdrawing socially could mean that you’re avoiding people ‘cause you don’t want them to see you struggling. Then you just end up feeling more lonely, and the cycle goes on!

14. The People in Your Life Are Worried About You

Sometimes we don’t see what’s right in front of us, but our loved ones do. If you’ve been getting a lot of “Are you okay? I’m worried about you…” then there’s probs a reason.

Instead of getting angry or upset with them, or even pushing them away, maybe accept there’s some truth in what your friends and fam are saying. Maybe you haven’t been yourself lately, and the people who care most about you have started to notice. They wanna support you, so hear them out if they’re showing concern for your wellbeing!

15. You’re a Human Being

Are you a human being? Do you have thoughts? Feelings? Okay, now select all images that contain a stop sign so we know for sure you’re not actually a robot…

Kidding. Of course we know you’re human. That’s why we remind you that everyyyone can benefit from going to therapy. You don’t have to wait for a tragic thing to happen, or be struggling with a diagnosed mental illness. We all have mental health, and we all deserve to feel heard and validated. Talking through our problems can be really helpful, no matter what our personal situation might be. Everyone can benefit from some guidance and learning how to cope with the everyday bullshit, right? Right.

SO, there you have it. A long list of signs you need therapy or could benefit from it! Does everyone need therapy? At one point or another, we could all benefit from it! Remember: there’s no shame in the therapy game. We support you, no matter what route you take towards bettering your mental health!

Feeling Daring: A Guide to Your Emotions

You woke up today feeling confident, excited, and willing to take risks. Ooooo those risks! They’re calling to you like a mermaid calls to a pirate. The temptation is so real, but you’re ready to give in! Hmmm… this is starting to sound a bit too sexy. Let’s give you some examples and turn down the heat!

Daring can take a lot of different forms. Maybe you’re an adrenaline junkie and are craving a skydive or bungee jump. You love the feeling of your toes dangling over the edge and hanging above an incredible height. It’s not so much the actual jump that you love, but rather the anticipation of the jump.

The feeling of daring can also come up in smaller ways. Did that yogurt in your fridge go bad? ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT, BABY!

A Deeper Look at Feeling Daring

This feeling of daring doesn’t mean that you have to risk life and limb every time you take a chance. It can sometimes mean being brave and making a change that will benefit you and change your life for the better. Is your job super shitty? Maybe you’re feeling daring enough to quit. Are you in a bad relationship? Dare to break up with this person and make the change that you need.

Being daring can actually be a form of self-care when you think about it! It can mean facing something scary and hard, but choosing to go through it anyway! That’s kind of sweet and amazing when you think about it.

Dictionary.com has a simple, succinct, and clear definition of daring that we 100% agree with. They say that it means “adventurous courage; boldness.” But like we said, some people see being daring as an opportunity to improve a shitty situation they’re caught in. Others can see it as a chance to parachute out of a plane for fun and get their adrenaline pumping! If you ARE gonna use skydiving as a form of self care, though, PLEASE BE CAREFUL! We love risks but we always wanna make sure that you’re being safe. Wow, we sound like a parent! “Make good choices, please!”

How Feeling Daring Shows Up Mentally

You feel the need, the need for… speed? Adventure? Something along those lines. But how does the feeling of daring show up mentally? It’s often a feeling associated with action and results, but it can also be one that lived in that sweet little brain of yours. Here’s how:

Better confidence
Increased happiness
Increased mindfulness
Lower stress levels

See? That sounds pretty great to us! When you feel daring, you feel like nothing can stop you and you actually end up living in the moment, which increases your mindfulness. How cool is that!? You are taking a risk and going for the things that you really want in life, so of course, you’re going to feel happy. You’re living the dream, baby!

How Feeling Daring Shows Up Physically

Everyone’s definition of daring is a little different. Getting a tattoo might be the most adventurous thing that someone might do in their life, and hiking up a mountain and parasailing off is another person’s average Wednesday. So it all depends on the individual, but here are some common ways that everyone exudes this daring feeling:

Increased energy
Increased activity
Motivation to achieve goals
Pushes comfort zone

When you feel daring, you stop holding yourself back from what you really want. You’ll begin to see your life open up and experience things in ways that you never thought you would before. It sounds cheesy, but IT’S TRUEEE! We don’t lie. When you start to dare, you start asking for and going for the things that you really want in life. It’s magical! Sometimes scary, but MAGICAL!

5 Ways to Embrace Feeling Daring

1. Journal

Yep! Dream big and journal alllll about it. What do you want in life? How are you going to accomplish it? What do you want to be daring about? Write it down! When you see your goals on paper, it can help you realize what steps to need to take to dare to do what you’ve been dreaming of!

2. Practice Deep Breathing

If you want to calm down and really dive into why you’re feeling daring, take some deep breaths. There are tons of breathing exercises that you can try out and do to help you tune into this emotion.

3. Give Yourself a Pep Talk / Use a Helpful Statement

We could ALL use a pep talk every now and then. Are you feeling daring but are still a bit scared to follow through with what you want to do? Look in the mirror and say “I can do this!” – or something like that! Whatever you need to hear to help yourself out, say it!

4. Practice Progressive Muscle Relaxation

If you want to have a mindful moment with yourself, try progressive muscle relaxation. This is where you tense every individual muscle in your body one at a time. Start at the bottom of your body and move allll the way up to your head. If you need some guidance, there are definitely some great videos on YouTube that you can listen to!

5. Move Your Body

Sometimes feeling daring can come with a lot of nervous energy! You’re excited to do the thing but you have all of this extra energy that you don’t have anywhere to put. So, go move that body of yours! Move in a way that brings you joy. You don’t have to go to the gym if you don’t want to, so you can dance instead! Maybe go for a happy little walk. It’s totally up to you!

You’re a badass! Did you know that? Yep, this feeling of daring comes with the label of badass, so we hope that you’re ready to wear it! You’re doing great things and we can’t wait to see what you dare to do!

10 Ways to Stay Sober & Manage Stress During Your Recovery

Recovery isn’t an easy thing to do. “Thanks, Captain Obvious!” Yaaaa, we know, we know! But it’s true! You basically have to ignore every urge and cue that your body is sending you. We know, and you know, that it took soooooo much fucking work to get to this place in your life and you are NOT ready to mess it up.

We want to see you succeed and THRIVE so here are 10 ways to help manage your stress and stay sober during your recovery!

1. Know Your Triggers

This is a biiiig one! Think about what people, places, and circumstances make you want to relapse. Maybe it’s an emotional state that makes you want to revert back to your old habits. Whatever it is, make sure that you avoid it so that you have the best chance possible at staying sober!

Here are some common triggers to look out for:

Stress
People or places related to addictive behaviour
Difficult emotions
Seeing or sensing the object that fuels your addiction
Celebratory events
Financial problems

2. Recognize Relapse Warning Signs

If you’ve entered the recovery process before, you might know what it looks like when you’re about to relapse. If you do, make sure that you keep your eye out for the warning signs. You know yourself better than anyone, so we can’t tell you what those might be, but here are some common signs that you might be about to relapse:

Change in Your Attitude

You might decide that going to therapy, or keeping up with your recovery program or sponsor, just isn’t as important as it used to be. You might think that something feels wrong or off, but you just can’t put your finger on it.

Increased Stress

If you find that you aren’t reacting to change well, or are having large mood swings or outbursts of emotion, don’t be afraid to reach out for some extra support when facing a stressful situation. It’s normal to experience anxiety or stress while in recovery, so don’t be ashamed if you need to ask for extra help.

Denial

This old friend might come back to say hellooooo. It might look a little different this time, though. Instead of denying your addiction, you might be denying stress. You could be convincing yourself that everything is fine and that you don’t need to address the stress you’re under — or any other emotional factors that are impacting your recovery. Allow yourself to feel all the feeeeels!

Withdrawal Symptoms

Sometimes withdrawal symptoms last much longer than we might anticipate. Anxiety, depression, memory loss and insomnia can last longer than we want them to. These can be hard to cope with because you might feel tempted to soothe yourself and give in to your addiction.

Behaviour Changes

Watch your reaction to people, places and situations where you become defensive, argumentative and reactive. Of course, these are natural emotions to have and experience, but if the situation doesn’t really call for it, then you might need to reach out for help.

Social Withdrawal

You might start feeling uncomfortable when you’re with others and want to hermit away and hide. We get it! But it’s important that you keep going to group therapy, and relying on your support system.

Lack Of Control

You might be making irrational choices and can’t seem to help yourself! These decisions could be related to your addiction, or just be reckless life choices (like buying a dog that you don’t have the resources to take care of).

Limiting Options

You’ve stopped group therapy, regular therapy, talking with your sponsor, completing your treatments or taking your medications.

3. Change Your Routine and Social Groups

Sometimes, keeping up with our old routines (and seeing the same people we saw when we were using) can make us want to use again. So, change up the game! Get some new, healthy habits that make you feel good and avoid temptation.

This also might mean finding a new group of friends to hang around with. If your friends were the ones tempting you in the first place, you might have part ways. It’s a hard thing to do, but you have to think about what moves are going to be in your best interest.

4. Build Healthy Relationships

Make sure that you’re surrounding yourself with people who are going to be good for you. These will be people who have your best interests in mind and genuinely want you to succeed in your recovery.

They aren’t going to pressure, or tempt, you into going back into your old habits. And they’re going to be the ones that support you endlessly with infinite amounts of patience and care.

5. Be Prepared for PAWS

PAWS? Like, puppy paws? Unfortunately, no. PAWS stands for Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome. Initial detox and withdrawal symptoms tend to subside after about two weeks. But sometimes if a person has consumed a significant amount of a substance for a long period of time, these symptoms can last from 6 months to 2 years.

Good news is that even though PAWS can suck SO much, you are able to control it with the help of medical professionals. Those who specialize in treating addiction, and aiding a person’s recovery process, can help you work through this process without relapsing.

6. Use Online Recovery Tools

If you’re reading this in 2021, we’re uh…still in a pandemic. If you’re reading this in the future, how is it? Better?

Anyway, if you’re still in the same timeline as we are, and unable to access in-person treatments, or live in a really remote area, online support options are amazing!!

There are a lot of online support groups and treatment options. Mental health professionals and therapists are now conducting appointments by Telehealth or other video platforms. Isn’t technology awesome? It’s helping make mental health treatment so much more accessible and we looove it!

7. Stay Connected to Your Support Network

Whether it’s your support groups, your therapist, your family, your friends or alllll of them combined — stay in touch!

Think of your recovery like building a house. Your support network is the foundation! They’re there to help keep you strong, and help you to build yourself up each and every day!

So, keep in touch with them. Stay connected! And don’t be afraid to reach out when you need help.

8. Find Distractions/Activities You Enjoy

Sometimes to stay sober, we need to keep our minds and bodies busy to help us work through any feelings, cravings, or urges we might have.

So, make sure you find things to do that you enjoy! Spend your time experiencing things that make you happy. Happiness will positively impact every aspect of your life, so make sure that you’re indulging in some healthy, happy (and really fucking awesome) things that bring you the most joy EVER!

9. Communicate Openly

Don’t hold it in! If you think that you need to talk to someone, TALK! Pushing your emotions, feelings, urges and thoughts deeeep down doesn’t help at all. It’s healthy to need to talk about the hard things you’re experiencing, and it’s a lot to take on as just one person. The people in your life love and care about you, so don’t be afraid to lean on them for support and talk to them when you need help. They’re there to love you and help you stay sober!

10. Celebrate Your Milestones

GET SOME PARTY HATS AND CELEBRATE, BABY! You have worked incredibly hard to stay sober and get to this point and you need to celebrate every single accomplishment. One day sober? Celebrate! One week? Get yourself a cake! One month? Celebrate again! You deserve to feel good about what you’ve accomplished and how far you’ve come. You’re proving to yourself that it IS possible to succeed in your recovery!

We hope that this helped! Maybe it gave you a better understanding of what to prepare for as you enter your recovery journey, or maybe it just served as a reminder of how to care for yourself as you move forward with it. Whatever the case may be, we are SO PROUD OF YOU! Staying sober is doing the hard shit and we can’t give you enough props for it. Keep on keepin’ on, friend!

Feeling Joyful: A Guide to Your Emotions

When we talk about our emotions, it seems like it’s usually the negative ones. That’s not a bad thing! It’s helpful to work through our tough feelings and let them all out as needed. But ya know what we should talk about more? Feeling joyful! All of the GOOD feelings, really. ‘Cause talking about how happy we are and how good we feel is severely underrated! Maybe we talk about it less because 1) we don’t wanna humble brag and 2) we can get into a habit of being fixers or problem solvers. We’re always trying to work our way “through” something, usually stress or anxiety about whatever is going on in our lives. And nobody’s looking for a cure for happiness… that would be ridiculous, right?!

But we’re here to tell you that recognizing your happiness is super important. We should all be talking about our joy when we feel it! So let’s dive thru feeling joyful and how to embrace this all around happy emotion.

A Deeper Look at Feeling Joyful

To get more technical, what does it mean to feel joyful? APA Dictionary defines joy as: “n. a feeling of extreme gladness, delight, or exaltation of the spirit arising from a sense of well-being or satisfaction.” WOW. That’s quite a definition. But it’s pretty spot on, wouldn’t ya say?

When we feel happiness, it can be from a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction with our lives. And that can look totally different for everyone! We might experience happiness from our job, or pursuing an education and continuing to learn. Our personal relationships with family, friends and romantic partners can bring us a lot of joy if the relationships are healthy and positive. Feeling cared for, loved, appreciated and recognized in all areas of our life can be so important for our mental wellbeing.

A few simple ways to maintain more joy in our lives is to appreciate the moment and implement intrinsic motivation. For a lot of us, we might focus so much on the future and achieving milestones that we forget to appreciate the present and the little things that make us happy. This can cause us to feel more stress and anxiety in the long run. Intrinsic motivation allows us to pursue our goals and activities just because we enjoy them, without setting expectations for external awards. Take running for example. You don’t have to set goals for your runs, or train for a marathon if you don’t feel like it. Run simply because it’s something that makes you happy and feel good! No strings attached. Doing things that bring us happiness without a reward or punishment in mind can be a great shift in mindset.

How Feeling Joyful Shows Up Mentally

Your mental wellbeing improves significantly when you’re joyful. You’re probably thinking: nooo, ya don’t say?! But we’re here to shout it from the rooftops! ‘Cause joy is an underrated emotion and we need to talk about it more. Let’s look at all of the positive symptoms that feeling joyful provides for your mental health:

Lifts your mood
Reduces stress and anxiety
Increases attentiveness and focus
Boosts productivity
Sparks creativity
Improves analytical skills
Promotes good thoughts
Increases motivation

When we feel joy, our brains release the neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin throughout your body. Since your mind is so happy, it wants the rest of your body to feel good, too! Awww, isn’t that so sweet?!

How Feeling Joyful Shows Up Physically

Did ya know that happiness has some great physical benefits too, not just mental? It’s true! When you feel joyful, your body reacts in positive ways. Here are a few physical symptoms you might experience when you’re jumping for joy:

Reduces cortisol levels
Lowers blood pressure
Strengthens immune system
Provides better sleep
Improves digestion
Reduces pain
Lengthens lifespan

Clearly, joy is great for your overall health. Even when you’re feeling down, you can actually trick yourself into feeling happier. It might sound like B.S. but would we lie to you?! Try this out: whenever you’re feeling blue, try smiling or telling yourself a stupid joke that will make you laugh. Your mind perceives smiling as you feeling joy, even if it’s fake! Guess the saying “fake it til’ you make it” has some truth there.

5 Ways to Embrace Feeling Joyful

Now, how do we enjoy this good feeling while it lasts? We’ve got just the strategies for you! Try out some of these methods for yourself. They will bring a lil’ extra joy in your life, guaranteed!

1. Move Your Body

We’ve got one word for you: endorphins. We know that exercise boosts endorphins, which make you happy! Even if physical activity isn’t your fave, there’s lots of fun ways to get active. Go for a walk, run, swim, bike, rock climbing, yoga, you name it. Dance around your room to a fun playlist like nobody’s watching, if that’s more your style! Whatever way you like, just get movin’.

2. Engage in Compassionate Self Talk

Speaking to ourselves positively has been shown to improve our mental wellness. Does it feel silly and weird at first? Maybeee a bit. But it’s a great habit to start, so why not give it a shot? Tell yourself what you like about yourself, what you’re proud of and what makes you feel joy. You might surprise yourself!

3. Connect with a Friend

Our true friends are there for us when we need them most by making our day a little brighter. So why not connect with a friend and pass on the good vibes you’re feeling?! Ask to go out for a coffee, a nice stroll in the park, or even FaceTime just to catch up. Spending time with our friends is a great way to maintain our good spirits!

4. Journal

Try writing out exactly how you’re feeling and what made you feel this way. Can’t stop smiling because you received a nice compliment? Feel on top of the world thanks to your amazing test score? Expressing your feelings can give you clarity and feels really great, so jot it all down in detail! Your hand might start to cramp, but so what? Totally worth it.

5. Practice Gratitude

Noticing the positives in life is great, and showing gratitude for them is even better! That might include writing a list of things that bring you joy, volunteering in your community, or showing acts of kindness to the people who make your life better. It honestly feels great for everyone involved, so why not try it out for yourself!

Okay, you little ray of sunshine. That’s all we have for now! We hope this made your day even brighter, and that you radiate some of that good energy to the people around you. Chances are, they could use some joy, too!

Why Sexuality Is Important: The Benefits of Coming to Terms with Yours

Isn’t it strange how there is the expectation that everyone is straight unless they say otherwise? This expectation is called compulsory heterosexuality. It’s a totally patriarchal and heteronormative idea that heterosexuality is the “natural” and expected state for people to default to.

It’s enforced in society starting when kids are just babies. BABIES! You might not think this is the case, but how many times has a little baby boy smiled at someone and a person says, “Oh he’s going to be a ladies man one day!” Probably a lot. But we don’t know if that child will grow up to be gay, bi, trans, pan, poly, or asexual! And we’ve only listed just a few of the ways individuals can express their gender identity and sexual orientation. Although we know that sexuality is fluid, society has decided that the baseline for sexual identification is heterosexual.

This can make coming to terms with your sexuality really difficult. You’re put into one box your whole life when inside, you know you were meant to be in a different one or no box at all! It creates an internal struggle that many people in the queer community go through and it can cause a lot of emotional pain.

This is why it’s important to accept your sexuality–whatever that might look like for you.

Questioning your sexuality and coming to terms with it can be a hard thing to do sometimes. If you’re one of the lucky people who has always known their sexual identity and came out at an early age or just was Queer, congrats! That’s amazing! However, some of us realized that they’re part of the LGBTQIA2S+ community in their mid-twenties. We’re a little late to the game but that’s ok!

The important thing is that you’ve accepted your sexuality. Why? Because there are a ton of benefits that come along with it!

1. Improved Mental Wellness

Accepting your sexuality actually has incredible mental health benefits. Many studies show that people who come out, or at least accept their sexual identity, have lower stress markers, fewer mental health problems, and less of a chance of physically hurting and harming themselves.

Being accepting of who you are takes away the pressure of keeping this big and important secret inside of you. Trying to pretend that you don’t feel a certain way can be painful and cause a lot of trauma to a person.

Accepting who you are is kind of like popping a balloon. You’re filled with all of this pressure and your emotions build up so much that it hurts! But then you POP the balloon and the pressure is released. You can breathe again, relax, and be yourself!

2. Increase in Self Esteem

When you accept your sexuality, you often become more sure of yourself, and more content with the life you’re living. Accepting this part of who you are allows you to live the way you were meant to and create the kind of life that you want.

You’ll be able to walk around with confidence knowing that you’re Queer af (in the best ways of course)!

3. Being Part 0f a Community

Being part of a community to many people means being accepted. When you accept your sexuality, you’re then able to create connections with people in the Queer Community. It gives you a sense of belonging, safety, and the feeling of unconditional love from the people around you.

Many people in the Queer Community have gone through some hard shit and have come together to create a place of love. Being part of something so supportive will help you create your own little family in an environment where people accept you for who you are, unconditionally.

4. Building Your Identity

Finally coming to terms with and accepting your sexuality can feel like a breath of fresh air. A weight is lifted off of your shoulders because you are finally able to live as your true self.

You might’ve heard the term “authentic self” before, and it can kind of seem cheesy, but it’s accurate! Living as your authentic self can be such a freeing experience. No chains. No weights. Nothing to hold you down!

5. Deepening Relationships

Hiding your sexuality can be painful. It can feel like you’re keeping a large part of yourself from the people you love and care about the most. But once you share this side of yourself, the relationships with these people can deepen and become even stronger than before!

People tend to connect when we share vulnerable parts of ourselves. It shows that we can trust the other person while still bonding over experiences. It creates a support system over time and helps people build healthy relationships together.

Soooo, cry your eyes out and share your story! You might just make a new best friend.

6. Dating Who You Want

When you come out and accept your sexuality, you get to make out with whoeverrrr you want! You don’t have to kiss people or go on dates with the gender you aren’t attracted to anymore. You get to go out with hot people who you have a genuine attraction to!

No more compulsory heterosexuality here!

Ready to meet some amazing, new people? Taimi is a LGBTQ+ social network and dating app with over 10 million users! Whether you’re looking for romance, new friends, to network, or just to chat with someone for fun, Taimi is a safe and secure space for people of all gender and sexuality identities and expressions.

Accepting your sexuality can feel like you’ve finally realized the fullest version of yourself. But we’re going to tell you that it’s always going to be a journey of self-discovery, and that’s ok! This is just the beginning of a fantastic and beautiful process where you will continually find new and amazing pieces of yourself that you weren’t able to express before.

So, we’ll be the first to say hello! It’s nice to meet you. We’re so glad that you came out to join us!

*This article is sponsored by Taimi.

Dating Someone with Anxiety? 8 Ways to Support Your Partner

Anxiety is the pits! Your brain feels like it’s on fire, your chest feels heavy and tight, and there is an overwhelming fear that you can’t shake no matter how hard you try. The worst part is that no amount of logical thinking, or reasoning with yourself and your brain, can make it subside! But what if it’s not you going through it? Dating someone with anxiety, and seeing the person you love hurting, can be almost as hard as having anxiety yourself.

It’s hard to understand what anxiety feels like when you don’t have it, and it’s even harder to know how to help when you yourself haven’t experienced it. And, even if you have experienced anxiety, everyone’s anxiety needs are different.

Dating someone with anxiety can be a major challenge. You don’t want to over-step, you might be afraid of making things worse, or you just don’t know where to start. But don’t worry! That’s why we’re here to help you walk through some ways that you can be a strong support to your partner with anxiety!

1. Listen

Listen to what your partner needs. This might sound like really simple advice but it’s really, REALLY necessary if you want to support your partner. Listening to their needs, their anxieties, their feelings, their emotions, their triggers, their fears…it’s all part of loving someone who has that anxious gremlin in their brain!

2. Don’t Try to Fix Them

If you don’t have anxiety yourself, you might see your partner’s anxiety as something to fix, solve, or end. Unfortunately, anxiety isn’t something that ever really goes away. People who have anxiety just become really good at coping with it.

Wanting to fix someone’s anxiety is a sweet and beautiful thought. You just want to take away your partner’s pain! But anxiety isn’t something to try and get rid of. That’s not the goal! The goal is to manage it. Sometimes, just because something isn’t easy, doesn’t mean that it has to be fixed.

3. Don’t Ask If They’re Okay, Ask How They’re Doing

Are you confused yet? Don’t worry, we’ll explain!

Don’t ask your partner if they’re okay. Ask them “Hey, how are you doing?” Asking if they’re okay won’t get you very far in conversation because they’re definitely not okay! If you ask how they are, it’s more of an open invitation to express their feelings.

4. Ask How You Can Support Them

Ask them what they need. Make sure that you ask them this both during and after panic attacks. When they’re not in the midst of a panic attack, they can then give you clear and informed answers as to what grounding/breathing/anxiety-reducing techniques work for them.

If you ask this question to your partner when they’re experiencing a panic attack, they might not be able to articulate, or even think about, strategies that can help them in that moment. So, talk to your partner about how you can help support them when their brain and body aren’t preoccupied with anxiety. You’ll be able to enter other situations with a tool belt full of grounding techniques to assist them when they’re taking a quick trip to panic attack city!

5. Help Them Find Treatment

If your partner needs an extra hand with their mental health, help them find a mental health professional that they could receive therapy from.

They might be too anxious to know where, or how, to start this process. So, that’s where you come in! Help them learn about the different types of therapists available for them to see, help them learn about the different types of therapeutic modalities, and even help find a therapist that they can book a possible consult with.

Chances are that a task like finding a therapist feels suuuper overwhelming and completely impossible, so they’re going to need your help! Type questions into that fancy Google-machine on their behalf and watch the therapists roll in!

6. Look After Your Own Mental Health

It’s important to care for your own mental health as well! Anxiety can affect both people in the relationship — not just the person who has it. So, make sure that you’re looking after your own mental health. This might mean going to therapy yourself, going to couples therapy with your partner, or just making sure that you practice regular self-care.

It can be hard to do, but caring for your own mental health means establishing and maintaining boundaries with your partner. You can still support and love your partner, but don’t tolerate, or accept, negative or abusive behaviour — even if your partner is having an anxiety or panic attack that causes them to lash out. This negative behaviour can include:

Insults
Accusations
Threats
Physical or verbal abuse

7. Help Them Feel Safe

When dating someone with anxiety, it’s important to understand that they can experience fight, flight, or freeze when they’re having an anxiety or panic attack. This means that their mind and body think that they’re in immediate physical danger when they might actually be totally safe. Ugh, brains…they’re confusing shit!

Help them get out of this fight, flight, or freeze mode by helping them feel safe. Practice grounding techniques with your partner, wrap them in a blanket to soothe their nervous system, or put on a soothing movie that they love. Be someone they can trust and rely on to feel safe when everything in their body and mind is telling them that they aren’t.

8. Learn About Anxiety

Google that shit! If you don’t know a lot about anxiety, what it is, and how it affects the mind and body, do some research! There are about one trillion-bazillion-million (Yes, that’s a number. No we won’t be taking arguments) videos that you can watch about it on YouTube. Online you can also find countless studies that have been published, as well as entire mental health organizations dedicated to anxiety and anxiety education.

When you perform your own research, it shows that you want to learn how to best care for your loved one and that you want to empathize with their experience. To someone with anxiety, the words “I did some research about it so that I can better understand what you’re going through,” are the most beautiful words we could ever hear!

If you’re dating someone with anxiety, your partner will appreciate you taking the time to help make their life — and their experiences with anxiety — a little bit easier. It’s some heavy shit to carry around on your own, so helping your S.O. carry some of that weight will mean the world to them!