Month: May 2021

Overcoming Perfectionism: 5 Ways to Keep It at Bay

If you describe yourself as a perfectionist, you probs already know what sets you apart as one. You have keen attention to detail (grammatical errors?? not on your watch!). You’re a hard worker (8 hours a day is just a suggestion, right?). Plus, you NEVER wanna finish something and think to yourself afterwards, I could’ve done better. Or worse…that you’ve failed.

Perfectionism can be seen as a super great trait to have, especially when you’re trying to prove yourself to other people. But when it comes to proving your own worth to yourself…that’s when shit gets messy. 

Striving for perfection isn’t a bad thing in and of itself. Wanting to be great at your craft or your job or your studies is great motivation and ambition! But shit hits the fan when you begin to place unrealistic expectations on yourself and demand perfect results every single time. Of course, the effects of this on your mental well-being are nottttt great. So let’s dive thru what it means to be overcoming perfectionism!

What Is Perfectionism?

Basically, perfectionism is the relentless need to seem — or to be — perfect. It’s also the belief that perfection can actually be reached (hint: it can’t) and it should always be the endgame no matter what. Perfectionism can seem like a positive thing when you put a lot of effort into your work and want to achieve allll the things. Who doesn’t, right? But perfectionism can harm your mental wellbeing, especially when it’s a constant presence in that precious head of yours. Since, ya know…perfection isn’t possible. We know that can be reaaally hard for a perfectionist to accept!

Dr. Brené Brown puts perfectionism like this: “Perfection is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from being seen and taking flight.” Whoa. Can we say that again louder for the perfectionists in the back?!

You might be thinking… Wait a sec. How can perfectionism hold me back? Doesn’t that defeat the whole purpose?

You got it, friend. The whole idea of perfectionism is that you strive to do your best, or be the best…but then that pressure to be perfect kicks in and you believe nothing you do is worthwhile unless it is #flawless.

8 Signs of Maladaptive Perfectionism

There are actually two categories of perfectionism: adaptive and maladaptive. Adaptive perfectionism is considered healthy and normal because you put effort into your goals without falling apart if you don’t meet them. You also have a good sense of self-worth and can set realistic standards for yourself.

But maladaptive perfectionism on the other hand…well, let’s take a look at those mentally unhealthy signs of perfectionism, shall we?

1. All-or-Nothing Mindset:

Anything less than perfect in your eyes = failure. You’re never fully satisfied with your accomplishments because you still don’t believe you reached perfection.

2. Catastrophic Thinking:

If you don’t achieve perfection, something bad will happen. You imagine every worst possible scenario if you fail, even though it’s not realistic.

3. Highly Critical:

You’re hard on yourself, only notice your imperfections and beat yourself up over every little mistake. In fact, you just don’t want to make mistakes at all.

4. Low Self-Esteem:

You compare yourself to others and don’t feel confident in yourself, which is why you want so badly to prove you can be perfect.

5. Unrealistic Standards:

You set goals for yourself that are way out of reach which leads to disappointment when you can’t meet them.

6. Procrastination:

You put off tasks or struggle to complete them because your fear of failure is so immobilizing, you can’t bring yourself to do it.

7. Highly Sensitive to Criticism:

You feel defensive of any criticism you receive, even when it’s constructive. Your worst fear is making mistakes so it’s painful for you to not be seen as perfect.

8. Feeling Defeated:

You have a hard time bouncing back from failure (even when it’s not actual failure, just not perfection) and carry those hurt emotions with you.

How Perfectionism Affects Mental Health

To no one’s surprise, perfectionism can lead to a LOT of mental health issues down the road. The anxiety that pops up when you’re constantly striving for perfect results feels endless (and watch out for when it shows up as high functioning anxiety). Never feeling good enough and failing to reach those high expectations over and over again can lead to symptoms of depression. You might start to isolate yourself from other people since you constantly doubt your self-worth, feel ashamed and want to hold those fears inside. You don’t want anyone else to KNOW how you feel, so you just hide. It’s also very common for people with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) to be perfectionists, since perfectionism has sooo many obsessive behaviours. 

If you feel like it’s ruling your life (and your mind!), it’s so important to seek professional help for overcoming perfectionism. Therapy is great (we looove therapy) because your therapist can help you through those nasty inner thoughts and emotions that have been holding you back!

5 Tips for Overcoming Perfectionism

Overcoming perfectionism won’t be easy. If it’s part of who you are, it can take some time and effort to replace any mentally unhealthy habits. But the good news is, this is something you can work on little by little every day. Baby steps, friend! You don’t have to be perfect at…overcoming perfectionism. Well, that was step 1! 

1. Recognize Your Perfectionism

Maybe you’re working on an essay for class. It could be an exciting new project at work. You might even be training for your first marathon! Whatever it is, you keep working away at it but you’re just not happy with the results. You keep obsessively going back to it, trying to make improvements here and there. If I can just improve this one thing, then I’ll stop. Before you know it, hours have passed and you’re feeling totally burnt out…yet again.

Pause! When you notice yourself nitpicking and obsessing over whatever tasks you’re doing, take a moment to stop what you’re doing. Ask yourself if there’s ACTUALLY that much more you can do, or if it’s your perfectionism talking.

2. Practice Positive Self-Talk

Once you’ve recognized that yeppp, it is in fact your inner perfectionist talking, take notice of what it’s telling you. Is it telling you that if you mess up, you’re gonna get fired from your job? You’ll fail your class? You’ll be the last person to cross the finish line and look like a complete loser in front of everyone?

You probably know that deep down, these thoughts are wayyy off base. Most of the disaster scenarios you come up with? Yaaa, they never actually happen. But perfectionism keeps that fear and shame lingering in the back of your mind on a loop. Instead, practice positive self-talk and remind yourself that the world won’t end, even if you DO mess up from time to time:

Nobody’s perfect.

It’s okay to make mistakes.

I’m doing my best.

I am not a failure.

My best is good enough.

3. Look at the Bigger Picture

Remember how we said as a perfectionist, your attention to detail is off the charts? Sure, it can be a really great skill to have. We’ll give you that! Buuut once you start nitpicking…like, constantly….it not only wears you down mentally, but it can actually hold you back from the goals you’re trying sooo hard to achieve!

When you’re stuck on rewriting the same sentence over and over again (fellow writers out there, throw your hands up if you can relate!), or you can’t stop sweating the small stuff, reframe those catastrophic thoughts and ask yourself:

Does this really matter?

Will this matter tomorrow/next week/next month?

What’s the worst that could happen?

Is that realistic, or am I overthinking?

If the worst DOES happen, will I be okay? (The answer is yes.)

4. Be Realistic

When you take on a ton of tasks at once, it’s probs ‘cause you’re trying to show just how capable you are. Look at you, you go-getter! The problem is, when you take on TOO MUCH you end up setting yourself up for failure. And like we said if there’s one thing perfectionists hate — it’s failing! *shudders*

This is a tough one but one of the most necessary for overcoming perfectionism: be realistic! Set manageable goals for yourself to avoid stress and burnout (or feeling like shit when you can’t do it all). You know yourself better than anyone. And only taking on what you can handle does NOT make you weak. It means you’re looking after your mental wellbeing, and that’s a huge win if you ask us!

5. Ask for Help

Pssst… Guess what? It’s okay to ask for help. This is something you have maybeee forgotten since perfectionists wanna show the world they can do it all on their own. But everybody needs help and that’s just the #truth.

If you’re stuck on something, ask someone to look at it and give their thoughts. Nervous about presenting in front of your team? Ask one of your work pals if you can practice in front of them first. If you need reassurance that you don’t run like Phoebe from Friends before your first marathon, ask a friend to tag along with you. You don’t have to suffer in silence and tell yourself it’s fine, I’m fine! all of the time. Asking for help lifts some of the pressure and makes you feel 100x less alone.

 

One last quick tip before you go: allow yourself to be imperfect. Show up a few minutes late to an appointment. Wear the shirt with a small mustard stain. Leave the dishes in the sink for a night. Speak up during a meeting WITHOUT rehearsing what you were gonna say in your head first. These are little things (and defs not saying you have to do them all of the time) but they remind you that you’re human! They’re great ways to practice overcoming perfectionism. 

For all of you perfectionists out there: we see you. We know you’re capable of GREAT things and that your kick-assery is unmatched. But you’re not perfect, and that’s okay! None of us are.

 

Feeling Delightful: A Guide to Your Emotions

The sun? Shining. The birds? Singing. Your mood? Delightful! Feeling delightful is simply the best! Why don’t we talk about this feeling more? It’s not that we WANT to be Negative Nellies, but it can be hard to find moments of joy when you’re under a lot of stress, or just aren’t feeling that happy overall. It’s time we recognize those moments of delight where we can, ‘cause they’re so underrated!

So, how does feeling delightful tie in with our mental wellbeing? Wow, great question! And we’ve got answers for you. So, let’s dive thru feeling delightful, how it shows up and how it’s linked to our mental health. 

A Deeper Look at Feeling Delightful

Deeee-lightful. Not a word we use often, huh? It’s kinda fancy for everyday use. As in, it sounds like a response you’d get from an 83-year-old British grandmother after asking how her cup of tea is. Why it’s delightful, my dear! You get the idea.

But what does it mean to FEEL delightful, exactly? Dictionary.com defines delightful as “adj. giving great pleasure or delight; highly pleasing.” Okay, taking pleasure in something. That makes sense. We’ve all (hopefully) felt this emotion before!

There are sooo many things in life that can make us feel delightful, even the little things like getting a massage after a stressful week and feeling all of those knots and aches melt away. Ordering a pizza ‘cause you just don’t feel like cooking after the day you’ve had. Receiving a super sweet card on your birthday. Cracking a joke that everyone laughs at (‘cause you’re a comedic genius). Or, petting an adorbs lil’ puppy. See what we mean?! There’s delight to be found around every corner!

If you’re not really sure what makes you feel delightful, that’s okay! Sometimes we get busy, and we don’t make enough time for ourselves to do things we actuallyyy enjoy. But it’s so important to explore what brings you joy in life! It could be a hobby, an interest, or any activity that you do simply because you like it. No strings attached. Delight can also come from simple moments, like the ones we mentioned above. So explore what brings you delight and incorporate some of it into your daily routine! You deserve it.

How Feeling Delightful Shows Up Mentally

Your mental wellbeing improves when you feel delightful. Shocker, right? But let’s talk about it…because how often do we get to dive thru happy emotions, not just the sad ones? Exactly. Let’s allow some time for introspection here, mmkay? Here are some of the ways feeling delightful can improve your mental health (spoiler alert: they’re pretty awesome):

  • Lift in mood
  • Reduced stress and anxiety
  • Increased attentiveness and focus
  • Boost in productivity
  • Spark of creativity
  • Improved analytical skills
  • More good thoughts
  • Increased motivation

When we’re feeling delightful, our brains are in a stress-free zone. Our brains release neurotransmitters called dopamine and serotonin throughout the body when we’re feeling delightfully happy. You can call ‘em the Happy hormones! Overall, they just make us feel more at ease and life is good. But wait, there’s more! Let’s look at the physical symptoms too.

How Feeling Delightful Shows Up Physically

When we’re feeling positively delightful, we’re pretty fuckin’ happy, to say the least. And you wanna know what happiness does to our physical health?! A lot. Ohhh boy, does it ever have great physical benefits! Check ‘em out for yourself:

  • Reduced cortisol levels
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Strengthened immune system
  • Better sleep
  • Improved digestion
  • Reduced pain
  • Longer lifespan

Yep, you read that right. Happy people live longer, it’s been proven by science! Your body doesn’t go through a shitload of stress when you’re busy being all delightful and stuff, ‘cause it doesn’t have time for that. And when your body isn’t dealing with the burden of stress, it can function how it should. So this is your sign to work some delight into your life, wherever and however you can! Here are some practices for embracing this delightful feeling, in case you could use a lil’ extra help.

5 Ways to Embrace Feeling Delightful

Emotions are fun, aren’t they? Well…maybe not alllll of them. But we gotta say, we’re enjoying diving thru feeling delightful with you. Before you go, we just have a few practices for you to try out when you get the chance! They’ll help you dive thru and embrace your feelings. This isn’t like homework, we promise. Unless you enjoy homework? Either way, give ‘em a go!

1. Journal

Journaling is one of our all-time fave practices for exploring our feels. So, try writing out exactly how you’re feeling and what made you feel this way! Maybe you aced the exam after studying your ass off or got a sick promotion at work. Or it could be something small, like receiving a nice compliment that made you feel all fuzzy inside. Expressing your feelings can give you clarity and feels really great, so jot it all down in detail! Your hand might start to cramp, but so what? 100% worth it.

2. Visualize Your Happy Place

We all have that happy place in our minds. (Ours is Belle’s castle library in Beauty and The Beast!) Whatever your happy place in your mind is, go there! Picturing someplace that makes you feel at peace can help lift your mood and put into perspective what really matters to you. So delightful, right?

3. Practice Gratitude

Showing gratitude for the delightful things that bring us happiness? YES please! Gratitude is simply taking notice of the good things in life and showing them appreciation. That might involve writing a list of things that bring you joy, volunteering in your community, or showing acts of kindness to the people who make your life better. Whatever it may be, gratitude is the gift that keeps on givin’.

4. Connect with a Friend

Wanna know something delightful? Friendship. To quote the Beatles: “I get by with a little help from my friends.” Have any truer words ever been spoken?! We think not. So if you’re feeling delightful, reach out to a friend. Text them, FaceTime them, or ask to hang out. Feeling connected to someone who uplifts you is the shit! They’ll probably be super delighted to hang with you or just have a gab sesh.

5. Meditate

Meditation is a method that’s been used to relieve stress and improve mental clarity since, like…forever. This practice allows us to slowww down and shift our mindset, which is great when you’re feeling not-so-delightful. But when you ARE feeling delightful, guess what? Meditation is still a great option. It’s versatile like that. If you’re not sure how to meditate, follow a guided practice on YouTube to get you started!

Well, we had a delightful time diving thru this feeling with you, friend. In case you didn’t notice, we reallyyyy love talking about our feels around here. So if that’s something you’re into, check out some of our other articles! There are always more emotions to dive thru.

 

What Is Codependency? Warning Signs + How to Overcome It

If you’re stuck wondering ‘what is codependency’ and ‘how do I know if it’s happening to me,’ we’re here to give you alllll of the answers. Have you heard of the term codependent before? You seem like a brilliant human so we’re going to assume yes! Typically, this word is used to describe a person or relationship that comes off as kinda ‘needy.’

For example, if you think one of your best friends is in a codependent relationship, you might feel like they neverrrrr wanna hang out unless their partner tags along too. It’s like they’re glued at the hip or something. And when you DO meet up, they just text their partner the entire time instead of, ya know, actually hanging out with you. It’s like their relationship is all they care about!

Even though we all have (at least) one of these couples in our social circles, actual codependency goes a lot deeper than coming off as super clingy! Let’s dive thru it.

What Is Codependency?

First, let’s mention what codependency is NOT, because that’s also important. Wanting to be there for a friend or family member and helping them out because they’re struggling? Not codependency. Enjoying someone’s presence sooooo much that saying goodbye makes you feel super sad? Still not codependency. Making the occasional sacrifice for your relationships? You guessed it, NOT codependency!

Okayyy…so what exactly is codependency, then?! This term can be confusing since it’s misused a lot but think of it as constantly giving too much to another person — so much that it becomes really, reallyyy unhealthy for both of you.

Codependency is all about prioritizing the needs of someone else over your own, which often also means neglecting your needs altogether. You might feel responsible for the emotions and behaviours of this person, so you’re always trying to please them to avoid making them upset. Heck, your mood might totally depend on how this person feels and behaves! It’s like you can’t be happy until they are. 

Codependency can make you lose your sense of self. Your whole identity and self-worth are tied up in your relationship with another person.

Codependence is thought to be developed early in a person’s life, particularly in family environments with dysfunctional dynamics. Once someone is stuck in this cycle, it can leave them feeling emotionally and mentally drained. Until someone with codependent habits starts to recognize the red flags and work through them, it can negatively impact their mental wellbeing in a big way!

Codependency Warning Signs

Spotting the red flags of codependency can be really hard, especially for someone who has developed a pattern of these behaviours. Buuut patterns can be broken! The first step is noticing the warning signs so that you can address them head-on. Here are the top signs but there are many others to look for as well: 

  • Feeling drawn to people who can be ‘rescued’ or ‘fixed’
  • Putting someone else’s needs before your own
  • Feeling responsible for someone else’s feelings or behaviour
  • Giving too much time and energy in a relationship
  • Fear of being rejected, abandoned or alone
  • Difficulty making decisions on your own
  • Needing constant approval from others
  • Difficulty expressing your thoughts and feelings
  • Compromising your values or feelings for others
  • People pleasing to feel needed and accepted
  • Poor boundaries (or none at all)

That’s…a lot to take in, isn’t it? But codependency IS a lot for a person to deal with.

From Childhood to Adulthood

If you grew up in a dysfunctional family with parents who weren’t the most dependable, you likely had to fill their grown-up roles, like making dinner and getting your younger siblings ready for school.

Since you had to pick up all of your parents’ slack, you felt overwhelmed. You were so busy taking care of everyone else, it became part of your identity. You were the strong, dependant one who everyone relied on. If you stopped looking after everyone, then everything would just fall apart. Everyone needed you to survive. So, the pattern of learned codependency begins.

Maybe later in life, you’ve unconsciously gravitated towards relationships where you could still fit that caregiver role. It’s how you see yourself: the nurturer who everyyyone depends on. Without putting someone else’s needs above your own, you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. It would be like stripping away your identity and self-worth.

So instead, you tend to find best friends who are always in crisis mode and need a ton of emotional support. Your romantic partners are usually detached, emotionally unavailable, with a complicated past, currently fighting addiction and substance use disorders, or potentially dealing with untreated mental illness. As a codependent, you’re convinced that you can fix your partner. If they’re unhappy, then you can’t be either. The cycle continues!

Sound familiar? If these warning signs sound like your current situation, don’t be too hard on yourself! Again, learned behaviours can be unlearned. We know it’s not easy, but we believe in you 100 percent!

8 Ways to Overcome Codependency

Unlearning those patterns and behaviours takes time, a LOT of self-reflection and self-work. Here are 8 ways you can start to break away from codependency!

We also wanna mention that speaking to a therapist is always a good idea. Sometimes overcoming codependency can be difficult to do on your own, so never feel ashamed to reach out for help!

1. Recognize the Problem

The first step to overcoming any problem is admitting to yourself there’s a problem. This isn’t always easy, we know! If you’ve been stuck in a codependent relationship for quite some time, it might feel normal to you at this point. Buuut deep down, you probably know something is wrong and needs to change. 

Reflect on the past and ask yourself when your pattern of codependency started. Was it growing up? Was there a traumatic relationship you dealt with in your past? Which relationships do you notice similar warning signs? It’s important to gain some clarity here, but it can also be very emotional to explore. Working through this process is probably best with therapy. You don’t have to deal with these overwhelming thoughts and feelings alone!

2. Get Some Space

This is probably gonna be a harddddd one, but one of the next things you can do to break out of codependency is to get some space from the other person. This doesn’t mean your relationship is over. It also doesn’t mean you can’t ever have a healthy relationship! In fact, having some distance and time apart is super healthy in relationships. 

If you have become used to relying on this person and have lost your sense of self as a result, taking a step back from the relationship might feel like the end of the world, but we promise it’s not. You need to learn who you are by spending time alone. Even though it can be scary, it’s totally worth it! ‘Cause, you’re pretty awesome.

3. Do Things for YOU

If you’ve been putting other people’s needs above your own since, like, forever — now’s the time to be selfish. Learn more about what you like, your interests, and your passions. Start putting more time and energy into things that make YOU happy.

Going off the last point, getting some space is a great time to become independent and form your own identity. Maybe your self-worth has been defined by how much others need you, but this clearly isn’t healthy. Instead, take the time to just live your life how you want. Join a book club, learn an instrument, or take up crochet. Go for walks by yourself, or treat yourself to lunch at your favourite cafe. Don’t forget that your schedule is entirely up to you!

4. Set Boundaries

Boundaries are limits. We set limits with things that make us uncomfortable or unhappy. If you’re struggling with codependency, there’s a good chance that you may not have effective boundaries in place with the people in your life. You’ve been putting their comfort and needs above your own, which has probably been so emotionally draining for you.

You’ve gotta start living for yourself, and that includes setting some firm boundaries. Can it be nerve-wracking? Maybe at first, but once you get the hang out of it, we promise it’s NBD. Here are a few simple ways you can create healthy boundaries and combat codependency:

  • Don’t try to solve someone else’s problems. You can listen and show support, but be mindful of how you’re feeling too. You only have so much emotional energy to give, and most of that should be saved for yourself!
  • It’s okay to say no. If you’re a people pleaser, we know this is a tough one. But saying no does not make you a bad person. You can still be polite and say no to things that you don’t want to or can’t do.
  • Ask yourself if you have the emotional capacity, time or energy to do something for someone else right now. Is doing something going to leave you feeling drained? Will you be able to meet your own needs afterwards? Be honest with yourself and remember: you’re allowed to be selfish!

5. Learn About Healthy Relationships

If most of your relationships have been codependent or unhealthy, you might have a hard time recognizing what a healthy relationship looks like. But guess what? You can always learn! Talk about examples of healthy relationships in therapy. Ask other people in happy relationships about their experiences. Fire up the Google machine and go down the rabbit hole of how to build strong, healthy relationships.

There’s a lot of useful info out there, so why not learn from some of the best? This is a great step in understanding how codependency has affected all of your past relationships, and what you can do moving forward!

6. Be Kind to Yourself

It’s safe to say that if you’ve been dealing with codependency for a while now, you might also battle with low self-esteem and self-worth. We just wanna say that first of all, you matter. Your thoughts and feelings are always valid. So please, be kind to yourself! 

It’s a common cycle that so many other people are also struggling with, so you’re not alone. Try showing yourself compassion and even give yourself words of encouragement. You’re gonna get through this and kick codependency’s ass!

7. Practice Self-Care

Ya wanna know how to REALLY be kind to yourself? By practicing self-care! Putting all of your time and energy into a codependent relationship can drain you mentally and emotionally. Now is the time to show care to priority #1: you. Grab your journal and write about how you’re feeling (we love journaling here at DiveThru!), water your plants, enjoy a nice bath with your favourite scented candles and bath bombs! 

There’s no wrong way to practice self-care, as long as it makes you feel happy and at peace. So try incorporating little bits of self-care into every day, not just special occasions! Your mental health will thank you.

8. Reach Out for Help

You might be used to solving everyone else’s problems, so we get it. It’s hard for you to ask for help. But guess what? You need it sometimes! And that’s okay! Everyone could use a lil’ support now and then, so don’t be ashamed or feel guilty for admitting that you can’t do everything on your own. That’s just called being a human being. If you need someone to talk to, reach out to a person you can trust. You. are. not. alone.

Codependency can be hard to overcome, but staying in a codependent relationship is even harder in the long run (on your mental health!). We know you can get through this and fully support how you feel right now. Hopefully, these tips have given you a great starting point! You’ve got this.

 

How to Set Boundaries with Family

Learning how to set healthy boundaries is hella important in any personal relationship! But when it comes to family boundaries, things can get a little tricky. Sometimes parents just take your help or affection for granted… like you owe it to them because they raised you (which is defs not the case). And trust us, we know just how uncomfortable family can make us, even though we constantly get phrases like “they’re family, you HAVE to love them” thrown in our faces. You deserve to have your wants and needs respected when it comes to what makes you comfortable! 

If you’re not quite sure what exactly a boundary is at the moment then our in-house mental health professional, Natalie Asayag, can help! She describes it as “a clear line, or limit, you draw with those in your life to maintain healthy relationships with the intent that you don’t feel overextended or taken advantage of.” These can be set at ANY time, but unfortunately, you have to make them known. It’s not as easy as just sending someone a mental signal not to do the thing (but, oh how we wish it was).

It’s important to know how to set boundaries with friends, how to set boundaries while dating, and how to set boundaries in relationships, but for right now, we’re going to focus on how to set boundaries with family! So, whether it’s your parent, sibling, cousin, your own kids…whoever, we’re here to help you clearly lay out what is and isn’t okay! Along with some helpful blanket phrases that you can customize for whatever situation you find yourself in.

Types of Boundaries 

There are 5 main types of boundaries that affect how safe, validated and respected you feel! It can be very difficult knowing how to set boundaries with family. But setting boundaries with parents or boundaries with kids (and everything in between) is VERY important if you want to maintain a healthy relationship with each other.  

It’s soooo easy for family to cross the line because they sometimes have the mentality of “Oh, you’re family, so you pretty much have to bend over backwards for me.” Ummmm, not the case. So, to keep your mental wellbeing WELL, feel free to use the following tips whenever a scenario like that one pops up!  

1. Physical Boundaries 

Your physical boundaries are all about your body, physical touch, and personal space (yeah, privacy counts too). Anything from that awkward cheek pinch your weird aunt gives you during the holidays to your parents snooping through your room when you’re not home. And guess what? You have a right to say no to alllll of those things because they’re an invasion of your space! That’s where the physical boundaries come into play.

So, if you need some examples for what to say in those situations, we’ve got you covered! 

“Please ask me before you go into my room.” / “Please knock before coming in.”  

“I don’t like being touched like that, please stop.” 

“Don’t go through my diary, it’s personal.” / “Don’t go through my phone.”

“Please don’t share what I just told you with anyone.” 

“I don’t want a hug right now, I need some personal space.” 

2. Emotional Boundaries 

When we talk about emotional boundaries we’re talking about your feelings. Whether they’re taking their stress out on you, expecting you to always listen to them, or just shutting down how you feel altogether, it’s not okay. You need to recognize when your feelings and emotions are at capacity before you burn out at the expense of others (and we defs don’t want that)! It can be suuuper hard to be vulnerable and talk about what’s going on in your head, but you have to if things are going to get better. 

You’ve gotten SO used to just taking heat from your family, but it doesn’t have to be that way! Here are some ways you can voice your emotional boundaries…

“Right now, I just need you to listen. I’m not really looking for advice.”

“It’s hard for me to open up to you when you say my feelings aren’t valid.”

“We’re both pretty on edge right now, so let’s talk about this later when we’ve both calmed down.”

“I’m sorry you’re upset, but please don’t take it out on me.”

“I don’t have the emotional capacity to talk about this right now. Can we chat later?”

3. Material Boundaries 

You may have had the all-too-common stolen clothes debate with a sibling before, and that’s a prime example of a broken material boundary! Sometimes you just don’t feel like sharing. Maybe that shirt was very expensive and you don’t want it ruined. Or, maybe you have an issue with someone else driving your car! And that’s totally okay, you just have to let them know what’s up. 

So, here we go again! Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries! 

“Please don’t go into my room and take things without asking.”

“Those leftovers are mine so please don’t eat them.”

“I budgeted for my groceries this week, so please leave my food alone.”

“Please don’t use my laptop when I’m not here.” 

“If you’re going to take my car to work, please fill the gas tank for me.”

4. Intellectual Boundaries

You can almost tell time by the fights about politics or religion during the holidays. Those are some hefty topics and they usually cause some pretty heated debates. You and your family might not have the same beliefs and that’s okay! But what’s NOT okay is when you get ridiculed for having those different beliefs. Whether it’s your level of education or just a specific worldview, you’re entitled to your opinions — and so is your loud uncle.

Wondering how to set boundaries with family in this situation? Here are some things you can say to de-escalate that argument before it starts, rather than just playing a game of “who’s right?”

“We clearly have very different views on this topic, so let’s just agree to disagree.” 

“Things are getting pretty heated so let’s drop it before it turns into a fight.”

“I don’t want to argue with you. Let’s talk about this later.”

“I see where you’re coming from, but I have a different view of this situation.”

“It’s supposed to be a happy occasion, let’s talk about happy things instead.” 

5. Time Boundaries 

Boundaries involving your time and energy are probably the most crucial because your family tends to think you owe it to them. But you don’t! You have a right to schedule your time based on what you have going on, especially since there are only so many hours in a day! You have enough work and projects on the go, and sometimes you’re just toooo drained and overwhelmed to take on more (we’ve been there, too). So, assess what you need and go from there.

Oh, and use these bad bois when you just can’t adjust your time to someone else’s needs!  

“Please don’t call me when I’m working, I need to concentrate.”

“I can’t help you with that yard work today, I have too much on my plate.”

“Today was hard, so I’m going to my room for some alone time. Please don’t disturb me.” 

“I don’t have time to pick this up for you, but maybe this person can.”

“Instead of spontaneous plans, why don’t we designate this night as family night?” 

Knowing how to set boundaries with family, and actually setting healthy boundaries, can be hard…we defs get it. Buuut the importance of your mental and emotional wellbeing is clutch! And it’s okay to put yourself first sometimes — ‘cause let’s be honest, you’ve probably already spent enough time putting your fam first!

 

Feeling Amused: A Guide to Your Emotions

Feeling amused doesn’t always come easy. Sometimes, we just forget how to let loose and have fun! But it’s sooo important to tap into that feel-good, goofy side of ourselves. Life doesn’t have to be so serious all of the time. And neither do we! That’s why feeling amused is such an underrated emotion, in our humble opinion. It kind of sneaks up on you out of nowhere, like when a kid randomly says a curse word or someone falls on their butt, and you know you probably shouldn’t laugh but you just can’t help it. That shit is funny (as long as the person who fell is okay, of course)! 

The great news is — feeling amused is good for our mental wellbeing. Even if it’s a fleeting feeling, or we really have to work at taking ourselves less seriously, it’s totally worth it. So let’s dive thru feeling amused, how it shows up and how we can embrace this emotion to the fullest!

A Deeper Look at Feeling Amused

So, feeling amused. Let’s take a look at a definition, shall we? Merriam-Webster defines amused as: “adj. pleasantly entertained or diverted (as by something funny).” That’s a veryyy formal way of saying LMAO, but we’ll take it!

There are lots of things about life that are funny. Even if we don’t think so at the moment, we might look back on something and laugh at how ridiculous it was. Don’t believe us? Just try looking at photos of yourself from middle school and tell us that shit isn’t hilarious. We were so awkward back then, but at least we can see the humour in it now!

Like, you know when you’re having a laugh attack and then you start laughing MORE because of how much you’re laughing? That’s the best! It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, you feel sooo at ease afterwards. Laughter can provide stress relief and it’s been proven that feeling joy is good for your mental and physical health. 

So, whenever you’re having a bad day try to find some amusement to lighten it up. Maybe watch an episode of your go-to funny show (our personal faves are Parks & Rec or Brooklyn Nine-Nine). Read some dad jokes online. Watch funny cat videos or scroll through TikTok. Speaking of those positive benefits, let’s take a look at alllll the ways that feeling amused is good for our health…

How Feeling Amused Shows Up Mentally

Feeling amused is rooted in one very key emotion. Any guesses? *drumroll* It’s happiness! Here are some positive symptoms you might experience when you’re feeling amused:

  • Improved mood
  • Reduced stress and anxiety
  • Increased attentiveness and focus
  • Boost in productivity
  • Spark of creativity
  • Improved analytical skills
  • More good thoughts
  • Increased motivation

Our brains release neurotransmitters called dopamine and serotonin throughout the body when we feel happy or amused. They’re basically happy hormones! So when you’re having a giggle fit or just a grand ol’ time in general, those hormones are coursing through your body and lifting your mood! While we’re at it…let’s take a look at the physical signs of feeling amused.

How Feeling Amused Shows Up Physically

No surprise here! Feeling amused also has great physical benefits. Since amusement taps into those happy hormones released in the brain, our body responds in the best of ways. Here are some great physical benefits, if ya wanna see for yourself:

  • Reduced cortisol levels
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Strengthened immune system
  • Better sleep
  • Improved digestion
  • Reduced pain
  • Longer lifespan

Don’t worry, we’re not trying to tell you “Hey, just be happy! Then all of your problems will go away!” because that’s downright dismissive and invalidating. But what we hope you get from all of this good news is that, even in the hardest times, it’s okay to laugh and have happy moments. It does wonders for our bodies and minds!

5 Ways to Embrace Feeling Amused

We’ve saved the best for last! Here are some strategies for embracing your amusement. You might be thinking…What for?? This is a lot of extra work, can’t I just enjoy this feeling and be done with it? Of course! These strategies are for embracing this emotion to the fullest, and can even be used when you’re NOT feeling so amused and need a lil’ pick-me-up.

1. Journal

Journaling is a great practice for staying in tune with our emotions. So, try writing down exactly how you’re feeling and what made you feel this way. Can’t stop smiling because you received a nice compliment? Laughing at an old memory that popped into your head? On those days where you’re not feeling so great, you can look back at these entries and find a little bit of light. 

2. Visualize Your Happy Place

We all have that happy place in our minds. It could be a cozy bookstore on the snowy mountainside with a crackling fireplace. Maybe it’s the beach where you sun-bathed during your last vacay. Whatever your happy place is, go there in your mind! Picturing someplace that makes you feel at peace can help keep that good mood going.

3. Connect with a Friend

One of the best things about feeling amused? Sharing that amusement with your best pals! When was the last time you goofed around? Plan a fun night with zero discussion about work, school or any other stressors in your life right now. Friends are great for venting but why not dedicate a whole day/night to let go of all of the heavy shit and just have fun?! The goofier the activity, the better! Try dressing up and speaking in silly voices all night. Or, go to the dog park (even if you don’t have a dog) so you can soak in all the cuteness together!

4. Engage in Something Creative

Another way to channel this amusement? Get creative! Try your hand at drawing, calligraphy, painting, writing, practicing an instrument, singing, dancing…you get the idea! This a fun zone and a judgement-free zone! You get to be creative however you like.

5. Practice Gratitude

Gratitude can look like simply taking notice of the good things in life and showing them appreciation. That might involve writing a list of things that bring you joy, volunteering in your community, or showing acts of kindness to the people who make your life better. Whatever it may be, gratitude is the gift that keeps on givin’.

We hope you were amused by this article (or at least found it helpful)! This is your lil’ reminder that emotions don’t have to be a scary thing. They can be fun too! So embrace feeling amused and having fun. Chances are, you could use more of it in your life!

 

Leaving a Toxic Work Environment: 7 Signs That It’s Time to Move On

Has a coworker ever taken credit for your hard work? Do you have a boss who CLEARLY plays favourites among the team? Or is your workplace just constantly filled with bullying and harassment? If you said ‘YES’ to any of these, you’re likely dealing with a toxic work environment! Remember that movie, Horrible Bosses? Yeah…like that.

A negative work environment is both mentally AND physically taxing and, if you’re going through it right now, chances are you are reaaally struggling. It can feel so isolating and you probably spend every single morning DREADING your workday (we definitely get it). Just the idea of spending another year at that place makes you sick to your stomach. You should never feel like that at work, so we’re going to help you recognize those toxic behaviours and provide some tips that’ll help you get the heck outta there!  

What Is a Toxic Work Environment?

A toxic workplace tends to put money and company success over the needs of their employees. Kinda messed up, considering said employees are the reason for the company’s success. As a result, you feel underappreciated which drives down your motivation (potentially causing more negative feedback). It’s all around not a good time. So, let’s break down what factors come into play in toxic work culture, how to deal with them, and how to put your needs first and LEAVE. 

7 Toxic Work Environment Characteristics

If you’re crying at work or still stressed outside of work, those are usually good indicators that things are not playing out in your best interest. The same goes for constant negative performance reviews (or even no reviews whatsoever), being told there’s 0 chance of a promotion or pay raise, and constantly dreaming about leaving one day and never coming back! 

Consider this a toxic workplace checklist with examples of the main ways an employer can spread animosity and toxicity:

  • No Breaks: You’re overworked and underpaid, and your work always follows you home!
  • Fear: You’re terrified of making a mistake because you’ll be scrutinized for it!
  • No Support: It’s allll about output, and never about your mental or physical wellbeing!
  • Abuse: You’re verbally abused or sexually harrassed by toxic coworkers, and scared to ask for help for fear of losing pay or benefits!
  • No Recognition: You never get rewarded for your hard work, which majorly decreases your motivation!
  • Guilt Tripping: If you’re thinking of leaving, you’re convinced into staying through fear-mongering or false promises!
  • No Accountability: You’re blamed for the mistakes of others just because you’re lower in the hierarchy!

Of course, there are many more things that can happen in a toxic workplace environment, but these are some of the core struggles that have a big effect on your mental health! And the mental impacts can turn physical suuuper quickly if you stay in that unhealthy situation. You’ll experience extreme burnout, get sick more often because the stress affects your immune system, and likely see an increase in depression and anxiety.

How to Deal with a Toxic Work Environment 

It’s tough navigating how long to stay in a toxic work environment. The easy answer would be to tell you to leave, but it’s not always that simple! You probably rely on that job security to cover rent, groceries and other living expenses. Plus, in a poor economy (or a pandemic), the job hunt can be ENDLESS. So, we’ve brainstormed some tips to help you put your mind at ease if you just can’t leave your job right now.

1. Set Boundaries

Don’t bring your work home and ALWAYS take your lunch break. 

2. Find Outlets

Find a hobby or something you love (like exercise, cooking, or art) to relieve stress.

3. Find a Support System

Find a friend, or family member, outside of work that you can vent to. They might feel like they have to comfort you by offering advice, but it’s okay if you just need to get some anger or sadness off your chest. If that’s the case, ask them to just listen.

4. Avoid Chatter

It can be SO tempting to swap horror stories with colleagues to relieve stress (and feel less alone), but it can fuel the fire and make a bad situation worse. So, try to avoid those whisper sessions happening over at the water cooler. Just slap on those noise-cancelling headphones and drown it all out. 

Who knows, maybe you’ll be able to find a better (and healthier) opportunity sooner than you think. (Our fingers are crossed for you!) So, send out as many resumes as you can while you’re still at this job and keep those options open! 

Leaving a Toxic Work Environment

When the day has finally come for you to escape a toxic work environment there are a few things to keep in mind! If your toxic boss is a problem on a regular day, they may act out when they find out you’re no longer at their disposal. So, stand your ground and make sure you don’t get sucked into another however-many years at this job just because they’re angry or hurt. Leaving a toxic work environment might be easier said than done, so here are some tips that will defs help!  

1. Come Prepared

Have your resignation letter printed and signed, with your last day clearly specified. And, just in case they ask, have your list of reasons for leaving written down or memorized. It will help to keep you level-headed (even if all you want to do is gesture around wildly and say “um, helloooo”). 

2. Say No

If they’re trying to convince you to stay, know that you can absolutely just say no.

3. Stay Calm

Use a calm tone to explain why you’re leaving. You never know who you might cross paths with in the future so try to maintain your composure (and reputation). Also, you might need a reference letter from the company in the future, so that’s another (very frustrating) reason to try to keep things civil. 

4. Don’t Do It Alone

If you’re uncomfortable or too nervous to talk to your boss alone, then ask a rep from Human Resources to sit in on your meeting and act as mediator. Or, if your boss loooooves to gaslight you, ask a trusted colleague to sit in. They don’t have to say a word, but it will be SO reinforcing to have a witness there to validate your feelings and experience afterwards. 

And, when it’s all said and done if anyone asks why you left just give them the generic “I was unhappy and leaving was the best decision for my health.” Simple and vague, but it gets that point across. 

We HOPE you have just read this article for funsies and didn’t actually need guidance for leaving a toxic work environment (because you LOVE your job!), but since that’s prob not the case we just want you to know…YOU ARE INTELLIGENT AND DESERVING OF A HAPPY WORKPLACE. We’re here for you, always!

 

Feeling Pensive: A Guide to Your Emotions

Pensive isn’t an emotion we talk about very often. If someone asks you how you’re feeling, have you ever responded with, “Ya know, I’m feelin’ pensive today”? Uhh…chances are, you haven’t. If you HAVE, then hats off to you. ‘Cause your vocab is clearly off the charts (and/or you’re super introspective). 

Feeling pensive is similar to feeling thoughtful, but there are some key differences too. So let’s dive thru feeling pensive, how it relates to our mental wellbeing, and some coping strategies to deal with this emotion!

A Deeper Look at Feeling Pensive

First of all…what does pensive even mean? Let’s take a look at a definition, just to be sure. According to Dictionary.com, the word pensive means: “adj. dreamily or wistfully thoughtful; expressing or revealing thoughtfulness, usually marked by some sadness.” Oooh, wistful. That’s another word we maybe don’t use that often to describe how we’re feeling. It’s defined as: “characterized by melancholy or longing.”

Hmm, this really sheds some light on this emotion. It’s not just about feeling thoughtful. It’s about thoughtfulness AND longing. Maybe you’re reflecting on your childhood and where you grew up, and you really miss how simple those times were in your life. Or you might be thinking of a really fun trip you had and all of those great memories. You wish you could relive those moments, but they’re just frozen in time now. 

If you’re an HP reader then you might remember Dumbledore’s Pensieve. It was a magical instrument that was used to view memories. We can kinda look at this emotion like that magical tool that takes us back into our memories and how they made us feel. It can make us really introspective! We might reflect on why a certain event in our lives made us feel a certain way at the time, how we feel about it now, and how it has shaped us into the person we are today. But, you don’t always have to be remembering something specific in order to feel pensive. Sometimes we just do a lot of thinkin’ and get lost in our own thoughts. That’s all just a part of being, ya know, a human being. Go us!

How Feeling Pensive Shows Up Mentally

As far as mental signs go for feeling pensive, it can be kind of a mixed bag of emotions. Here are some of the symptoms you might notice when you’re deep in pensive thought:

  • Nostalgia
  • Reflection
  • Longing
  • Sadness
  • Grief
  • Regret
  • Introspection
  • Missing someone or something

Again, you could be feeling alllll of these things and maybe not really understand why. Listening to certain songs or watching old movies can bring this feeling out of us, just as much as when we look at old photographs. 

How Feeling Pensive Shows Up Physically

When it comes to the physical signs of feeling pensive, they can also vary from person to person. If you’re reflecting on something that makes you feel kinda sad, down or longing, it can look like this:

  • Tearfulness
  • Low energy
  • A pit in your stomach
  • Emptiness
  • Numbness
  • Appetite-loss
  • Difficulty sleeping

Again, emotions are part of being human. But if you’re constantly feeling down or can’t seem to let go of things, it could be a sign of a mental health issue that you need help with. Don’t ever feel ashamed for seeking help from a professional — their job is to guide you through all the things you’re feeling!

5 Ways to Cope with Feeling Pensive

Feeling pensive can really put us in the feeeeels. Whenever you’re in one of these thoughtful, melancholic moods, don’t worry! There are some simple ways you can work through this emotion. Try ‘em out for yourself:

1. Engage in Something Soothing/Comforting

Spend time cuddling your pet. Touch something comforting like your fave cozy blanket. Brew some tea. Find whatever is right for you in the moment that makes your heart feel like a warm lil’ cinnamon bun!

2. Meditate

Meditation is a method that’s been used to relieve stress and improve mental clarity since, like…forever. This practice allows us to slowww down and shift our mindset, which is great when you’re feeling pensive and wanna dig a lil’ deeper. If you’re not sure how to meditate, follow a guided practice on YouTube to get you started!

3. Journal

We’re big fans of journaling here at DiveThru. Any practice that allows us to explore our feels is a practice we love! So, try writing out exactly how you’re feeling and what made you feel this way. Expressing your feelings can give you clarity and feels really great, so jot it all down in detail! Your hand might start to cramp, but hey…SO worth it!

4. Engage in Compassionate Self-Talk

Feeling pensive and reflective can make us rather insightful, but it can also put us in our sad feels at the same time. If that’s the case for you, try these compassionate self-talk phrases. I can’t change my past, but I have control of the present moment. My feelings are always valid. I can get through this feeling.

5. Get Creative

Getting creative is a great method for unwinding and channelling our emotions. Try your hand at drawing, sketching, calligraphy or painting. Write poems or stories. Practice an instrument, sing, dance! There are so many ways to get creative, so choose whatever feels right for you.

That’s it, that’s all we’ve got for you on this emotion. Thanks for diving thru it with us, friend!

 

Defining Healthy Boundaries: Only You Know What You Need

Have you ever been stretched suuuper thin at work, so you plan to do ALL the self-care when you get home? But, as soon as you get all cozy and settle in for your movie marathon with a glass of wine…a friend or a family member calls! They’re clearly distressed and ask you if you have some time to talk.

All of a sudden, you find yourself spending TWO HOURS talking to this person and it completely drains the tiny little bit of energy you had left. You have no more time for self-care (feel even worse) and you feel the burden of that person’s pain. You start to wonder if you should have even answered that call in the first place. 

Situations like this happen when you don’t set clear boundaries for yourself. YOU needed that time for you. So, we’re gonna show you how to start putting your needs first — because you don’t need to put up with less than you deserve!   

What Are Boundaries?

Setting boundaries means drawing a clear line for what people can and can’t say or do to you so that you don’t get taken advantage of. They’re like an instruction manual for your body and mind, with an extra little “handle with care” section on the first page. You use boundaries to make your own personal growth a priority, improve relationships and conserve emotional energy! 

Setting healthy boundaries means that you don’t compromise your values for other people. You stand by your values and, in turn, respect other people’s boundaries. But, it is good to keep your boundaries flexible, because they may change over time if you decide to step out of your comfort zone.   

Healthy boundaries are in contrast to rigid boundaries where you tend to avoid intimacy and come off as detached. And, porous boundaries, which involve oversharing personal information and having trouble saying ‘no.’ But it’s totally normal to sometimes take on qualities from all of the above! 

Types of Boundaries

Unfortunately, boundaries aren’t a “No Trespassing” sign that you can just strap on your body and take with you wherever you go (although that would be kinda cool). They have to be expressed through good communication. Clarify what you want and why these boundaries are important to you, and be respectful and realistic about your expectations! 

There are 6 types of personal boundaries:

  • Personal Space: also known as your “bubble.” 
  • Physical: what you like and don’t like in bed or with casual contact.
  • Emotional: your level of comfort with sharing what’s on your mind. 
  • Material: how much you are willing to share certain things or possessions. 
  • Time And Energy: how much you are comfortable giving to something or someone. 
  • Intellectual: the topics you are and aren’t open to talking about (like politics). 

It’s important to learn how to set boundaries with friends and how to set boundaries with family. Setting boundaries in relationships and setting boundaries in dating top the list, too! Because these are generally the people who can hurt you the most by violating said boundaries. 

Setting Healthy Boundaries

If you’re experiencing issues with any of the above, we’ve brainstormed some ways for you to respond in a way that is respectful but still reinforces your boundaries. Try any variation of these when the situation comes up, and whoever is on the receiving end should accept your choice!

“My bedroom is my personal space so I’d rather if you didn’t come in.”

“I have a hard time with roughness in bed, so can we take it slow?” 

“I’m sorry you’re going through a tough time, but I’m not in the right headspace to be there for you right now. Can we talk about this later?”

“I can come, but only for an hour because I have something I need to get done today.”

“Just so you know, I don’t really like to have other people drive my car.” 

“I see what you’re saying. I just think we have different opinions on this, so let’s agree to disagree.”

Overstepping Boundaries

Overstepped boundaries need consequences. Otherwise, it’s too easy for someone to cross them and think nothing of it. Now, when we say consequences we don’t mean yelling at, or punishing, the person who crossed them (that won’t be very effective). Your best bet is to solve any boundary issues with self-love and self-care! If someone has overstepped your boundaries, try these tips. 

1. Listen to Your Body

If it’s coming at you with anger and anxiety, one of your boundaries was likely crossed. (Joy and love, on the other hand, are a good sign that your comfort zone is being respected!)

2. Act On It

If you no longer feel safe, loved or respected, make it known! Even if that means taking time away from the person who crossed your boundary, not broaching certain topics with them, or, if they just won’t learn, ending the relationship. 

3. Own It

No one else has a say over your boundaries. So, rather than waiting around for someone to respect them, choose and set them for yourself! Only YOU know what you need when you’re not being treated the way you should be. 

And, there you have it! The time has come for you to set those healthy boundaries with family, friends, colleagues, anyone and everyone else…because you deserve to feel heard and respected.

 

Feeling Satisfied: A Guide to Your Emotions

Ahhh, satisfaction. It’s such a customer service-y type of word, isn’t it? If you’ve ever shopped online (duh, of course you have!) then maybe you’ve received one of those “rate your satisfaction on a scale of 1-10” surveys in your inbox before. As far as emotions go, we hope right now you’re feelin’ a solid 10! Because there’s really nothing better than feeling satisfied!

We’re reallyyy into talking about our feels around here (if you couldn’t already guess!).

So, let’s dive thru feeling satisfied, how it impacts your mental wellbeing and some ways you can really embrace this feeling. 

A Deeper Look at Feeling Satisfied

So you’re feeling satisfied. You know how it FEELS, but what does it really mean? Let’s take a lil’ look at a dictionary definition, just for good measure. Merriam-Webster defines the word satisfied as: “adj. pleased or content with what has been experienced or received.” Basically, you’re happy as a fuckin’ clam. (Are clams really that happy? We dunno. Maybe someone should send them a customer satisfaction survey to their shell-phones.)

We can feel satisfied with our education if we feel that we’ve learned a lot and have grown our skills. We can feel satisfied at our jobs if we feel valued and enjoy the work we do. And we can feel satisfied with our relationships if we feel supported and our emotional needs are met. So what does it all come down to? Feeling happy, content and at peace. That’s what satisfaction is all about!

Another major perk about feeling satisfied is that we have some say in it! If you’re not satisfied in one or more areas of your life, you can make small changes to suit your needs. And if you ever need some help or guidance along the way, there’s zero shame in asking for it! Whether it’s a trustworthy friend, a family member or your therapist — talk about it. You’ll figure it out!

How Feeling Satisfied Shows Up Mentally

Feeling satisfied improves your mental wellbeing. If you’re happy and feeling good in general, that means your mind is gonna be in a good place. Here are some of the ahhh-mazing mental symptoms of feeling satisfied and happy:

  • Improved mood
  • Reduced stress and anxiety
  • Increased attentiveness and focus
  • Boost in productivity
  • Spark of creativity
  • Improved analytical skills
  • More good thoughts
  • Increased motivation

When we’re satisfied, our brains release the neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin (AKA, happy hormones) that make us feel really, really good. And when we’re feelin’ good? It shows! We smile a lil’ wider and our perspective is a whole lot brighter. We’re content and can truly enjoy the present for what it is. And even better? It can give us the motivation to keep pursuing this feeling! ‘Cause we want it to last.

How Feeling Satisfied Shows Up Physically

Satisfaction and happiness don’t just improve your mental wellbeing. The physical benefits are pretty impressive too! When all is well in our brains, it sends signals to our bodies. Yeppp, everything’s a-okay here! Carry on. Check out the physical signs of feeling satisfied, ‘cause they’re 10/10:

  • Reduced cortisol levels
  • Decreased blood pressure
  • Strengthened immune system
  • Improved sleep
  • Improved digestion
  • Reduced pain
  • Lengthened lifespan

No stress, no worries, no problemo. When your mind is at ease, guess what? Your body follows suit! There are no stress hormones coursing through your veins. Just those happy hormones that we mentioned! So, it turns out happiness is great for your physical health because it keeps your body regulated (you might even live longer!).

5 Ways to Embrace Feeling Satisfied

1. Journal

Journaling is one of our all-time fave practices for exploring our feels. Try writing out exactly how you’re feeling and what made you feel this way! Expressing your feelings can give you clarity and feels really great, so jot it all down in detail! Your hand might start to cramp, but so what? 100% worth it.

2. Visualize Your Happy Place

We all have that happy place in our minds. It could be a cozy bookstore on the snowy mountainside with a crackling fireplace. Maybe it’s the beaches where you sun-bathed during your last vacay. Whatever your happy place in your mind is, go there! Picturing someplace that makes you feel at peace can help lift your mood and put into perspective what really matters to you. 

3. Engage in Compassionate Self-Talk

Finding that satisfied feeling isn’t always easy, that’s for sure! So when the last thing you wanna do is laugh, try these compassionate self-talk phrases on for size. Things might suck right now, but I know I’ll look back on this and laugh. This won’t be such a big deal to me in the future. I can get through this. The less you take yourself seriously, the easier on yourself you’ll be!

4. Practice Gratitude

Showing gratitude for what brings us happiness and satisfaction is always a good idea. Gratitude can look like simply taking notice of the good things in life and showing them appreciation. That might involve writing a list of things that bring you joy, volunteering in your community, or showing acts of kindness to the people who make your life better. Whatever it may be, gratitude is the gift that keeps on givin’.

5. Connect with a Friend

Feelin’ satisfied? Feelin’ good? Time to connect with a friend and just have a good time. Text them, FaceTime, or ask to hang out. Feeling connected to someone who uplifts you is the shit! Tell them how amazing you’re feeling and spread those positive feels.

Thanks for diving thru this emotion with us, friend. We hope you find alllll the satisfaction in the world, ‘cause you deserve it!

 

Feeling Intelligent: A Guide to Your Emotions

Feeling intelligent isn’t something we might express out loud to other people — or even ourselves. If we say that we’re intelligent, we might worry about sounding braggadocious. Who gets to decide what’s considered intelligent anyways? Is it a test score, or the number of facts you can retain in that beautiful brain of yours? Like, we can remember all the lyrics to a song we liked in the third grade…but maybe we still don’t ‘get’ algebra. Seriously though, we should all feel intelligent. ‘Cause the human brain is a really fascinating thing, and it does all sorts of intelligent processes all day, every day. Without us even realizing it! THAT’S how good it is!

Feeling intelligent has a lot to do with how we view ourselves, so it can be a tricky emotion to manage. But, don’t worry! We’re here to help make more sense of it. Let’s dive thru feeling intelligent, what it really means and how it impacts our mental wellbeing.

A Deeper Look at Feeling Intelligent

Okay, we know what intelligence means. Smart. We get it. But let’s take a look at a true definition, just to get the full picture here! Dictionary.com defines “intelligent” as: “adj. having good understanding or a high mental capacity; quick to comprehend.” So you see things and you understand them. Got it.

But FEELING intelligent is more than our ability to read, memorize or solve problems. It’s more than a score on a test or having the perfect answer when you’re called on in a meeting. Unfortunately, that’s how so many of us compare ourselves to other people. We see intelligence as something you either have, or you don’t, and we separate ourselves into boxes. They’re the nerdy one, they’re the artistic one, they’re the athletic one.

But these labels only hold us all back and dismiss something super important: we’re all intelligent in our own way. And just because we might learn in different ways, or think about something different than the next person, it doesn’t invalidate our intelligence. At all. For example, someone with ADHD, a mental health disorder, or dyslexia might have their own unique processes for how they absorb information or come to a solution. That doesn’t mean their thoughts or learning styles are any less valid. But because they think a little differently, they’ve probably taken some hits to their self-confidence a time or two because they don’t see their own intelligence as ‘normal’ or acceptable. What intelligence ultimately comes down to, though? Confidence.

Yep, you read that right. Confidence. You can be the smartest person in the room! Wanna know how? You believe it about yourself. You shake off the imposter syndrome that’s telling you “you don’t belong here with all of these intelligent people. They’re better than you.” And instead, you recognize all of your strengths and skills. You reflect on your accomplishments. You understand that, hey…the way I think? It’s GROUNDBREAKING. You think it, you start to feel it. And you deserve to be braggadocious about it!

How Feeling Intelligent Shows Up Mentally

Like we said, feeling intelligent is totally rooted in confidence. And to no one’s surprise, feeling confident is ahhh-mazing for your mental wellbeing. Let’s get a little more specific though, ‘cause there’s always more to learn right? Here are some ways feeling intelligent (and super confident) is great for your mental health:

  • Heightened self-esteem
  • Positive self-image
  • Reduced anxiety
  • Decrease in stress
  • Increased productivity
  • Improved sense of empowerment
  • Stronger interpersonal relationships
  • Better communication skills
  • Drive to succeed

Feeling intelligent gives you the confidence to go after what you want. You view yourself in a better light, and as someone who can take on challenges or problems with ease. (Okay maybe not always with ease, but you’re def confident enough to try anyway!) And that’s a really powerful thing. It eliminates those anxieties or feelings of self-doubt that would otherwise hold you up. It’s like you’re freakin’ unstoppable!

How Feeling Intelligent Shows Up Physically

When you feel intelligent and ultra-confident in yourself, it turns out there are some great benefits for your physical health too. Our mind and body work together in unison, so when our mental wellbeing is doing great, our physical health is gonna follow suit. Here are some physical signs of intelligence/confidence that we wanna highlight:

  • Increased energy
  • Better cardiac health
  • Improved sleep
  • Less muscle tension/better posture
  • Developing healthy habits like staying hydrated, eating balanced meals, maintaining physical activity, etc.

Emphasis on the ‘better posture’ point! People who believe in their smarts and feel confident always seem to sit up straighter and stand taller, don’t they? Just like the action of smiling can trick your brain into feeling happier (yes, it’s a thing) you can try sitting up straighter or carrying yourself with confidence, even if you DON’T feel that way. Try it out when you’re sitting in class or doing a presentation at work, and you might notice a huuuge difference in yourself! You’re intelligent as fuck — so act like it,  friend.

5 Ways to Embrace Feeling Intelligent

Okay, brainiac. It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for. It’s time to look at some strategies for embracing this emotion! Try ‘em out for yourself and you’ll be feeling like Einstein in no time (did that sort of rhyme? You tell us, you’re the smart one!).

1. Journal

We’re big fans of journaling here at DiveThru. Any practice that allows us to explore our feels is a practice we love! So, whenever you’re feeling exceptionally intelligent, write out exactly how you’re feeling and what made you feel this way. Did you score an amazing grade, or make a super witty joke? Expressing your feelings can give you clarity and feels really great, so jot it all down in detail! 

2. Engage in Compassionate Self-Talk

Feeling intelligent makes us feel super confident and sure of ourselves. So if you wanna embrace this feeling even further, or just need a lil’ pep talk whenever you’re not feeling so intelligent, try out these compassionate self-talk phrases. I am intelligent in my own way. My thoughts and feelings are valid. The way I learn and think about things makes me unique.

3. Meditate

Meditation is a method that’s been used to relieve stress and improve mental clarity since, like…forever. This practice allows us to slowww down and shift our mindset, which is great whenever we don’t feel so intelligent or confident in ourselves. Even if you DO feel secure in your smarts, meditation is still a great option. It’s versatile like that. If you’re not sure how to meditate, follow a guided practice (find one on YouTube) to get you started!

4. Practice Gratitude

Gratitude can look like simply taking notice of the good things in life and showing them appreciation. That might involve writing a list of things that bring you joy, volunteering in your community, or showing acts of kindness to the people who make your life better. Whatever it may be, gratitude is the gift that keeps on givin’.

5. Connect with a Friend

Time to connect with a friend and tell them alllll about it. You’re allowed to brag every now and then, okay?? Text them, FaceTime, or ask to hang out. Feeling connected to someone who uplifts you is the shit, even when you’re already feelin’ pretty great about yourself! Spread those positive feels ‘cause it’s contagious (in a good way!).
Thanks for diving thru this emotion with us, ya smart cookie! We hope you learned something new and check back in with us again for more emotions. There are tons more where that came from!