Month: May 2021

‘Do I have ADHD? How is ADHD diagnosed?’

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, also known as ADHD, is a mental health disorder that we hear a lot about but is suuuper misunderstood. When we think of someone with ADHD, we might think of the human equivalent of the Energizer Bunny. Basically, someone who is bouncing off the walls 24/7, can’t sit still, talks a mile a minute and is always go-go-go! Buuut it’s a bit more complicated.

Maybe you’ve noticed the symptoms in yourself and have started to wonder if you have ADHD. You don’t wanna self-diagnose or jump to any conclusions, but these signs have started to impact your life (in some not-so-great ways). So enough is enough! You wanna find out: Do I have ADHD? once and for all! Only…how do you find this answer?

When Should I Get Tested For ADHD?

If you have ADHD, you’ll show signs of hyperactivity and impulsiveness that can affect all areas of your life. At your job, you might really struggle to stay on task and get work done. In school, focusing during class and studying can also be really hard for you. You might have some problems in your personal relationships if your behaviours or actions are misunderstood. It’s normal to feel alone or defeated about what to do or feel like something is wrong with you. This is NOT the case at all, but obviously, this can reallyyy start to take a toll on their mental wellbeing after a while.

If you’ve been reading up on the signs and symptoms of ADHD and you find that you’re checking a lotttt of those boxes, it doesn’t hurt to get tested. Especially if you notice that your quality of life is being affected in negative ways! Here are just a few ADHD symptoms in adults that you may experience:

  • Poor time management skills
  • Difficulty completing tasks
  • Struggling to focus/being hyper-focused
  • Forgetting things regularly
  • Becoming easily distracted
  • Work/school performance is inconsistent
  • Relationship problems due to the behaviours above
  • Feelings of overwhelm, worry, frustration and shame
  • Stress from failure to complete tasks and responsibilities

Obviously, these are NOT easy things to deal with on a day-to-day basis. But getting an ADHD diagnosis, or finding out another source of the problem, can give you a better sense of how to move forward. You don’t have to deal with anything alone!

Who Can Diagnose Me?

Ok, so you’ve decided to go through the screening process for ADHD. Only problem is…you have no idea how to do that. Maybe you don’t personally know anyone with ADHD, or you don’t feel super comfortable talking to anyone in your life about it just yet. Hey, no worries! You don’t have to share more than you’re comfortable with. Still though, knowing where to start can be super confusing.

First, it’s important to note that the only people who can properly screen and diagnose you with ADHD are a physician or licensed mental health professional. They’re the ones with the right expertise to properly screen you and start a treatment plan for ADHD. Another important note: doctors and psychiatrists are also the only ones who can prescribe medications as treatment.

Since only a doctor or mental health professional can diagnose mental health disorders like ADHD, you’ll need to book an appointment with them. After doing a medical exam to rule out any other conditions, your doctor might refer you to a mental health professional with more expertise in ADHD, or they’ll start a treatment plan for you alongside a psychiatrist. This might also differ slightly depending on what country you live in!

If you don’t have a family doctor or a therapist already, do some searching online for your location and ask around for those who specialize in ADHD. There could also be some helpful resources in your area like support groups you might wanna check out!

What Can I Expect During An ADHD Screening?

If you feel a little awkward or embarrassed to be booking an ADHD screening, please keep in mind there’s nothing to be ashamed about. You’re prioritizing your mental health and wellbeing, so you should feel proud for taking this step! It’s not easy and there’s a good chance you’re nervous and dealing with so many not-so-fun emotions right now. 

Even though the screening process might seem kinda daunting, it’s not as bad as you might think. You’ll run through a checklist of symptoms together, answer some questions about your history and maybe do some attention-span tests too. You’ll be asked how these signs and symptoms are impacting your life and any major issues that have come up for you.  With all of that info, your doctor or therapist will evaluate whether or not you do have ADHD. However, if this screening leaves any questions then you may be referred to a licensed Neuropsychologist for a Neuropsychological Evaluation. 

What Are The Next Steps After Diagnosis?

Anddd last but certainly not least, your treatment plan! After being diagnosed with ADHD, your doctor or psychiatrist will prescribe you a drug to manage the symptoms of your condition. Drugs are the most common route for treating ADHD, so don’t feel ashamed for needing them to cope with your symptoms. It’s super normal!

Most adults with ADHD are prescribed a stimulant that is long-lasting, so you only need to remember to take it about once a day. The dosage that works best for you will take some trial and error, so expect to book some follow-up appointments with your doctor. They’ll wanna see how the medication works for you and if you’re experiencing any side effects. For someone with other conditions like bipolar disorder, anxiety, high blood pressure or substance abuse problems, a non-stimulant will be recommended instead. The full effects of this type of medication take a lil’ bit longer to kick in and will start with a lower dosage, raising it until you notice an improvement.

It’s also never a bad idea to talk about your ADHD with a therapist. Medicine? Therapy? They’re a great combo! Medication can help you manage the symptoms, and working through your emotions in therapy can help you gain some useful insight, like some of those problems you face on a daily basis. You can start to feel more in control of your life again, and that’s gonna be a GREAT feeling!

What Your Fear of Intimacy Means & 3 Exercises to Help

We’ve all seen those couples that aren’t afraid to smooch anywhere and everywhere — whether it be a busy hallway at school, the water cooler at work, or in any other public place. But you’re just not a fan of PDA (or even intimate moments behind closed doors for that matter!). In fact, your fear of intimacy has come up in multiple relationships and makes you feel like you have to explain yourself to whoever you bond with. 

You’re defs not alone! Around 17% of adults struggle with intimacy avoidance in their relationships. It can feel SO overwhelming when you don’t have the capacity for the emotional demands that come up in a relationship. And it’s even worse when someone accuses you of not caring or not being there for them! But you DO care, you just find it hard to show it.  

What Is Intimacy?

Intimacy is the closeness between people in any personal relationship — and this doesn’t just apply to romantic partners. There’s a common misconception that intimacy = sex, but you can have sex without intimacy and intimacy without sex! And we’re gonna show you just how much deeper it gets. 

5 Types of Intimacy

Intimacy is actually hella complex because it’s not just you and another person enjoying spending time together. There are actually 5 different ways you can be intimate with someone. And, you can feel just one, some, or all of these.

  • Emotional: You feel safe to let your walls down and share anything with someone. You can truly be yourself.  
  • Physical: Physical and sexual intimacy is about the closeness between two bodies (kissing, cuddling, sex).
  • Intellectual: You both exchange ideas and have meaningful conversations. You’ve also felt that ‘spark’ with each other.
  • Experiential: This is built by sharing common interests and spending lots of quality time together.
  • Spiritual: You are on the same wavelength about your spirituality and both believe you were meant to be in each other’s lives. 

These things might seem pretty straightforward to someone who doesn’t have intimacy issues, but they’re a lot easier said than done when closeness doesn’t come easy to you. So, let’s dive into what may be causing your fear of intimacy! 

Why Am I Afraid of Intimacy? 

There are a few things that can affect how you view and experience intimacy. A big one is your attachment style. If you have an avoidant attachment style, you’re less likely to show sensitivity and vulnerability towards others. You likely grew up not getting any from your parents. (Childhood abuse or neglect can also play a part here.)  

Another factor that may make you wary of intimacy is having been in a verbally or physically abusive relationship before. Of course, you’re going to be scared to let your guard down! It may have been abusive to the point that you never want to be controlled (or lose yourself) in a relationship like that ever again — so much so that you climb up into your shell and never plan on coming out!    

9 Ways It Shows Up 

If you’ve faced any of these challenges in your past or grew up with an avoidant attachment style, there are a few ways that your fear of intimacy will come to the surface. 

  • Low self-esteem 
  • Trust issues
  • Bouts of anger
  • Avoidance (of emotion, physical contact, etc.) 
  • Avoiding physical contact
  • Not being able to form or commit to relationships
  • A history of unstable relationships
  • Not being able to express emotions or share feelings
  • Choosing individuality over mutuality

Someone may point these out to you and say it means you don’t care about them when, really, it’s your way of coping with intimacy-related trauma! When you’re scared to get intimate with someone, you’ll tend to be a serial dater or have lots of short-term relationships that end before anything gets too serious. 

If you’re screaming “YEP” to all of these points right now, we’ve got some tips to help you get over your fear so you can start to experience how great intimacy can really be. 

3 Ways to Overcome Your Fear of Intimacy

Even though it’s completely normal, your avoidance of closeness and lack of intimacy may bother you. You want to show that special someone that you care about, rather than just feel it silently. A good way to start to beat that fear is to try intimacy-building exercises together! 

1. Co-regulation

Sit with your partner eye-to-eye with your knees touching for 5 minutes and just see what happens! There might be some laughter at first, but once you get through that awkwardness you will notice the two of you connecting and really seeing each other for who you are. You might even be left with a trance-like feeling when those 5 minutes are up because you were able to sit in the present moment together and relax.

2. The Couples Jar

Yep, it’s exactly what it sounds like. Time to get out a mason jar and some colourful paper! The idea behind this exercise is to write down 5 positive things for each negative thing that happens. For example, if your partner didn’t make you feel heard, write down how they did the dishes and cooked you dinner. This helps you focus on the good things about your bond and realize that they outweigh the bad things.  

3. Special Dates

Make the time for dates together! Be sure to set aside at least one hour of fun. Whether it’s hiking, walking, a quiet dinner, or even just putting your electronics away for an hour! Having that space to just be with each other can help you feel more comfortable in one another’s presence and allows you to open up.

Give these things a try and see what happens! And if you want to really dig deep into your fear of intimacy, we highly recommend therapy! A mental health professional will be able to help you figure out where your fear of intimacy comes from and work through your trauma. It’s all about learning and growing!

 

The 10 Key Principles of Intuitive Eating

You’re probably already familiar with diet culture…it’s constantly shoved in our faces on social media platforms, advertising campaigns, TV shows. Things like constantly counting calories, only eating at certain times of day, and labeling certain foods as “good” or “bad” are all diet culture practices. Well, the opposite of that (and a much, much healthier mindset) is intuitive eating! There are 10 key principles of intuitive eating in total and we’d love to tell you all about them.

Putting your appearance and weight over your mental and physical health (aka diet culture) has been romanticized and engrained in popular media — but it’s sooooo bad for us. Let’s say a collective ‘fuck you’ to diet culture and incorporate mindful eating practices instead!

What Is Intuitive Eating?

Intuitive eating is used to build healthier attitudes toward food and your body image! Essentially, it means making food choices that are in your best interest rather than harming your body with dieting, which often leads to disordered eating. 

It’s not about weight loss! It’s about eating what you want and feeling good while doing it. Diet culture may have ingrained a toxic relationship with weight in our minds, but it’s NEVER too late to learn how to start intuitive eating. And if you’re still asking yourself, ‘what does intuitive eating mean tho’ … keep reading! 

Intuitive Eating Guide

For some, intuitive eating comes naturally — like kids who leave half of their sandwich on the plate because they’re full! They listened to their body and knew when to stop. But, unfortunately, diet culture is what often screws up that cycle! We learn to stop listening to our bodies and start undereating or overeating and causing ourselves psychological distress instead.

That being said, breaking the cycle is not always easy. Intuitive eating isn’t as easy as just stopping a diet. It’s a whole mindset change, baby! And to help you get started, we’ve compiled 10 awesome practices that you can use to tell your brain who’s boss. 

1. Throw Away the Diet Mentality

This is the first of the principles of intuitive eating (and maybe the hardest!): no diets! For starters, the eating habits aren’t healthy and, second, that constant battle with weight loss is inconsistent and hard to maintain. Diet culture basically sets you up for failure by bombarding you with “alluring” before and after photos that are pretty much impossible to achieve. So, we’re asking you to take alllll that you’ve learned about diets, cram it in a metaphorical cardboard box, and throw it the heck away!  

2. Listen to Your Body’s Hunger Signals

Your next step is to stop choosing when you eat. Fasting all day will lead to overeating in the evening, because your primal instincts kick in and want to make up for what was missed. Instead, eat when you’re hungry (your body usually makes it known when it is)! Whether that means having an apple at 2 p.m. or snacking on an extra granola bar after dinner. Oh, and before we forget, never skip lunch! 

3. Create a Healthy Relationship with Food

Getting back to dieting and how awful it is (sorry not sorry)…it makes you view food as the enemy! Rather than seeing it as the sustenance and satisfaction it is, we start thinking that eating that one donut was “forbidden” and feel guilty or ashamed. That should never be the case! With intuitive eating, you can eat whatever you feel your body needs at that moment — even if that means a little bit of sugar. 

4. Don’t Limit Your Intake

You know that inner voice that screams “REDUCE YOUR CALORIES” and “THAT FOOD IS BAD” all day, every day? Let’s call that the food police. They’re trying to make you monitor every single crumb of food that enters your system and shame you for actually enjoying your food. Well, here’s a little reminder: your body needs those calories to keep your heart beating and your lungs breathing. So, next time the food police calls, hit mute and let it go to voicemail! 

5. Learn to Enjoy Foods

There’s a misconception that food is only there to give you energy. But, believe it or not, your mouth has taste buds for a reason! So, make your eating experience enjoyable — as it should be. Make yourself a food that you love, take the time to sit down to eat, and really revel in that “satisfaction factor.” It’s basically your body thanking you for properly nourishing it!   

6. Only Eat ‘Til You’re Full

Piggy backing off of respecting your hunger signals in step 2, you should also respect the signals telling you that you’re full! When you’re eating and you start to notice that pressure in your stomach, take a minute to ask yourself if you’re comfortably full. If the answer is yes, you can always put that food in the fridge for later (even if “later” is in a couple of hours)! If the answer is no, then keep eating or maybe even get yourself seconds. Take alllll the judgement away from eating however much your body desires, because it probably needs it! 

7. Try to Stay Away From Emotional Eating

There are two types of hunger: physical hunger, which tells you to replenish your nutrients; and emotional hunger, which is driven by the need for comfort food when you’re sad or angry. The latter usually makes you feel guilty, and that’s because food is not actually the answer in those moments! 

When you’re in an emotional state, you may need something else to cope. Take some time to ask your body what else it may need, whether that’s venting to a friend, a bath, or journaling. That way, you’re still following your body’s natural hunger instincts rather than using food to calm emotions.

8. Practice Gratitude for Your Body

Another big part of diet culture is the overwhelming amount of before and after pictures! Not to mention, the ridiculous body ideals that society and media have perpetuated. It can make you feel soooo insecure and like you’re not “good enough” compared to them — but you are! Your body does everything it can to keep you alive and healthy every single day, and how it looks while doing it should NOT be a factor. So, one of the biggest principles of intuitive eating is to show it some gratitude for everything it does for you.   

9. Move Your Body

Dieting doesn’t just control how you eat, but also how you work out. It says you have to do these exercises for exactly this long, but that’s not necessarily what’s right for YOUR body! Try out some light stretching, a short walk, or strength training and see how your body reacts. From there, you can form a routine around what works best for your unique body — ‘cause this is defs not a one-size-fits-all situation! 

10. Eat What Makes You Feel Good 

Lastly, we’re gonna focus on something called gentle nutrition. Intuitive eating pros Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch define it like this: “Your motivation for your food choices comes from a combination of a desire to provide nutritious food for your physical well-being and to have the option of eating something just for its taste.” Basically, you have the power to eat the nutritious food you like and know gives you energy, or get tacos on those days when you’re reeeeally craving them (as long as they don’t make you feel gross). 

 

Once you’ve successfully incorporated all 10 of these principles of intuitive eating, you’re gonna notice a major shift! Not only will you have a better relationship with food, but you’ll also feel better about your body and how you treat it. Intuitive eating also has other psychological benefits, like lowering anxiety, depression, and any negative self-talk!

 

5 Tips When You Don’t Know How to Ask for a Divorce

Let’s face it. Going through a divorce sucks for everyone involved, no matter what the circumstances are leading up to this big decision. Chances are, you probably thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with this person. Duh…that’s why you got married in the first place! But whatever your reasons might be, you’re ready to close this chapter in your life and that means ending your marriage officially.

This wasn’t some decision you made overnight. Asking for a divorce is a really tough thing to do and there are some BIG changes ahead. The thing is, you’re not even sure how to go about asking for a divorce (we get it, it’s scary as hell!). But, what you DO know is you want this conversation to go as smoothly as possible, even with all of the emotions that are bound to come up.

Here’s how to (hopefully) avoid a war and ask for a divorce in a calm, respectful, mentally healthy way.

1. Choose the Right Place, Right Time

Timing. Matters. The last thing you should do is scream, “IT’S OVER, I WANT A DIVORCE!” in the middle of a heated argument, or when your spouse is already dealing with another crisis. It’s safe to say neither of you needs the added stress! 

Instead, find time to talk when neither of you is busy or have something else going on that needs attention. And, it’s probably for the best to make sure you’re not in a public setting or surrounded by a bunch of people. You both deserve privacy and the time to discuss something so important (with zero distractions)!

2. Prepare Yourself

If you’re feeling super anxious about asking your spouse for a divorce, it might be because you are anticipating a certain reaction. Maybe they’ll see this talk coming, maybe they won’t. Everyone’s relationship situation is totally different. But, chances are you know your partner enough to have at least some idea of how they’ll respond when you drop the D-word. There might be shock, yelling, crying, accusations, blame…maybe all of the above. Or, maybe none of the above. 

Prepare yourself as much as possible for this emotional rollercoaster of a conversation, both mentally and emotionally. Think of what you wanna say to your spouse, write it down in a journal, and practice this talk with a friend you trust. It might also be a good idea to take the next day off from work in advance, ask your parents to watch your kiddos for the night, or whatever else you need so that you’re not worrying about too much at once.

3. Be Clear About Your Decision

Stating the obvious here, but asking for a divorce is not the same thing as asking your partner to fix your relationship. Maybe you’ve already tried working on your problems before and the results were, well…not ideal. The bottom line is: this isn’t a debate (or a chance for your spouse to change your mind about wanting a divorce).

Your spouse might have a hard time understanding your position unless you make it crystal clear. As firmly (but gently) as possible, let them know you’ve decided you want a divorce and your mind has been made up. They need to know there’s no chance of winning you over, or for them to manipulate you into staying. You want to end this marriage. That’s it.

4. Decide on a Plan Together

Divorce can be messy. Despite the whirlwind of emotions that you’re both feeling when this convo happens, make sure your spouse knows you want this divorce to be a peaceful one. You probably still care about this person and have love for them on some level, even though things aren’t going to work out between you two. So coming up with a plan of action together, calmly and respectfully, is the best way to end things and avoid more hurt in the long run.

Ask your spouse if you can work out those finer details when emotions aren’t so high and you’ve both had more time to process. If there are kids involved, it’s especially important to talk about what this divorce means for your family moving forward. There will be LOTS of decisions to make together, so getting through this as a team is better than starting a war.

5. Seek Professional Help From a Divorce Therapist

You might think couples therapy is only for partners who want to work on their problems or save their relationship…nope! That’s not the case at all. There are plenty of therapists out there who specialize in separation and divorce. Working through all of the emotions you and your partner are going through is an important process, and divorce therapy is a safe space for you both to express those feelings without any judgement or bias.

Divorce can come with emotional trauma, guilt, shame, fear, anxiety, stress and a whole lot more. Neither of you needs to face those feelings alone! Don’t feel ashamed about seeking some extra help to get through this difficult time. You’re not the first person to go to therapy, and you won’t be the last! Plus, therapy is just really awesome.

 

Like we said, asking for a divorce can really take a toll on your mental wellbeing. But we’re so proud of you for choosing what’s best for you, even if it’s one of the hardest (and bitter-sweet) decisions of your life. Remember: you will get through this.

 

Feeling Valued: A Guide to Your Emotions

“Thank you” 

“Well done!” 

“We’re so happy to have you as part of our family.”
“I love you.” 

“Thank you for helping me.” 

You’ve probably heard these phrases before, right? Don’t they make you feel so loved, cherished, appreciated, and valued? There’s nothing more welcoming and warming than feeling like people love and appreciate you for what you’ve done and who you are. You feel seen and wanted! We both know that there’s noooo better feeling than that. 

That’s right, folks! Today, we’re talking all about that metaphorical (or literal) feeling of a good ‘ol pat on the back and diving into everything related to feeling VALUED! 

A Deeper Look at Feeling Valued

The Oxford Dictionary defines ‘valued’ as “considered to be important or beneficial; cherished.” And you know what? We super agree with that! When we feel valued, we feel like we’re important and that we’ve done a good job! Who doesn’t want to feel like that? 

Feeling valued is often associated with how employees feel in the workplace, and of course, every employee wants to feel this way! You want to feel like your work is making a difference and that your performance and hard work is being recognized. But feeling valued can also show up in other areas of our lives. 

Romantic relationships are a place where we LONG to feel valued. We want our partners to see the little and big things that we do for them every day. Love is something that we choose to practice, and having that choice (and effort) be recognized can make you feel soooooo fucking good! 

But feeling valued isn’t limited to romance and the office. It’s something that transcends all aspects of your life. When you put your effort into something, you want that effort to be recognized. This recognition could come from parents, siblings, friends, people online, you name it! But when you do get that recognition you feel so loved, and SO valued! 

How Feeling Valued Shows Up Mentally

Feeling valued has its side effects. Don’t worry! They’re all good. No allergic reactions here — only happiness! We promise. Here are some ways that feeling valued can impact your mental wellbeing: 

  • Overall happiness
  • Boost in confidence
  • Better sleep
  • Increased productivity
  • Sparks of creativity
  • Good thoughts

With all of these amazing benefits, we think that everyone should feel valued more often! We should have a parade in everyone’s honour! Wouldn’t that be awesome? Constant parades 24/7. What a life! Anyway…let’s snap out of this amazing daydream (insert Cher’s iconic “SNAP OUT OF IT!”) and get back to the article!

How Feeling Valued Shows Up Physically

Yes, of course, there is a warm and fuzzy feeling when we feel valued, but did you know that there are other physical sensations that come along with this emotion? Yep! And the best part is that they’re all really positive. No bad vibes, only good ones! 

Feeling valued feels so good! And when you feel good, you feel like you can do anything! You also feel like you WANT to do anything! Your energy SKYROCKETS and you just feel happy!!!!! And when you feel happy, we feel happy!

5 Ways to Embrace Feeling Valued

Okay, so we’ve established that you’re feeling valued. You know it, we know it, but what you might NOT know is how to keep those valued vibes going. We always want to feel needed, loved, accepted, appreciated, seen…all the things! So, here are 5 tips to help you feel valued 24/7.

1. Practice Meditation 

Focus on this great emotion by meditating. Doing this can help you tap back into this emotion when you most need it. If you’re new to meditation, listen to a guided practice that you might find helpful. There are tonsssss of free ones on YouTube that you can listen to! 

2. Journal

Journal about your wins! Write down all the amazing things you feel in this moment and then come back to them at a later time when you need a bit of a pick-me-up. Having journal entries about this emotion, and your successes (big or small), can help you remember why you’re so loved and valued by so many people! 

3. Practice Gratitude

Practicing gratitude can help you recognize and appreciate all the great things that surround you. It can also help you appreciate all the great things about yourself. This might mean writing down all the things that make you feel happy or valued, extending kindness and love to others, or just having a quiet and grateful moment to yourself.

4. Engage in Compassionate Self-Talk 

Positive and compassionate self-talk can help you really tap into, and bring awareness to, this feeling of being valued. Being kind to yourself can help you continue to value yourself (and remember that you deserve all the wonderful things)! 

5. Practice Deep Breathing

You’re probably looking at this tip and thinking “How can breathing help me feel valued?” Well, well, well, do we have a little surprise for you! Deep breathing can help our bodies relax, and help our minds focus in on this positive, fulfilling and loving emotion. Do it with us right now…breathe innnn, and breathe outtttt. We’re already feeling more relaxed!

And there you have it! You were probably feeling valued before you read this article, but we hope that you feel EVEN MORE valued now. We think you’re amazing and incredible, and we value you and your friendship (even though we’ve never met). Omg long-distance friends? Let’s make it happen! 

 

‘Why Can’t I Focus?’ 10 Ways ADHD May Show Up

Living with ADHD — Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder — means facing a LOT of everyday challenges that most (neurotypical) people won’t understand. It can make someone with ADHD feel incredibly misunderstood. If you’re always wondering “why can’t I focus?” then you might just have ADHD.

The truth is, ADHD is more than the stereotypical scatter-brained, hyper little boy. There are a lot of other signs and symptoms of ADHD, and they can affect your mental wellbeing in different ways. So, we’re diving thru some of the common signs of ADHD to help you try to determine if this is a condition affecting you (so you can get some answers and some help). 

Executive Function

Your brain’s executive function deals with the what, when, why and who. This affects your working memory (planning and goals), timing (time management), emotions (choice) and self-awareness. It’s not uncommon for all, or some, of these functions to be impaired in a person with ADHD. 

Our Managing Editor suffers from Executive Dysfunction Disorder and she often says:

 “My brain doesn’t go from A to B. It goes from A to G to Z, and then to B. I eventually get there but it takes a while, and the whole time I feel like my brain is on fire (or I’m walking a tightrope).”

Sound exhausting? It REALLY is! And while not everyone with ADHD also deals with Executive Dysfunction Disorder, a lot of the executive functioning in the brain can be similarly affected.

So, keep this in mind while we dive into the 10 ways ADHD might show up for you (so you can find some comfort and relief!).

1. You Have a Hard Time Paying Attention

We all get distracted, let’s be real. When our phone lights up with a notification, from a friend sending yet another hilarious TikTok, we just CAN’T resist okay? We gotta stop whatever we’re doing to watch! But then we snap out of it and get back to work, ‘cause there’s a deadline to meet. No more scrolling. 

With ADHD though, distractions are a lil’ bit harder to ignore. Working in a shared office space with so much talking around you — or studying in a busy coffee shop with music and espresso machines whirring — can make it almost impossible to concentrate on what you’re doing. You might even cry or disassociate when the external stimuli become too much (because most noise-cancelling headphones are just NOT cancelling enough noise). It’s totally normal to wonder in exasperation: “Why can’t I focus?!”

Other times, it’s like your thoughts are going a million miles a minute and everything else around you is in slow motion. What should I make for dinner? Perogies sound good. NO, TACOS! Yaaaa, tacos sound good. Do I have all of the ingredients??? Nope, I need tomatoes. I’ll grab them on the way home from work. Okay, now remember to get tomatoes. Tomatoes. Tomatoes. Tomatoes… It’s sooooo easy to drift away for what feels like only a second, and before you know it a good chunk of time has passed.

2. But Other Times, You’re Hyperfocused

Alternative to losing focus, hyperfocus makes you concentrate intensely on the task at hand (usually when it’s something you actually LIKE to do…go figure). Whether it’s planting a garden, playing a video game or washing your car from the inside out ‘till it looks brand new, you’re in the fuckin’ zone. It’s like you become so deeply focused on this activity that everything else fades awayyy. You lose all sense of time ‘cause you’re just so absorbed in what you’re doing. But, at least you’re being productive, right?!

The thing is, this can sorta become a problem if you have responsibilities or plans that you’re putting off at the same time. All of a sudden, you realize you’re running late and have to send the classic, On my way, be there in 10 minutes! text when you’re actually JUST starting to get ready…whoops.

3. Time Management Is Hard

Being on time can be a real challenge when you have ADHD. These days, we all have our phones on us at all times. So, saying “I lost track of time” might come off as a shitty excuse. But with ADHD, it’s TRUE. Maybe you go over your deadlines at work. Or maybe you show up late to appointments (or plans with friends). It can be frustrating for other people — especially when it happens pretty often — but it’s not something you do on purpose, you swear! 

Time management doesn’t come naturally to people with ADHD. And it’s not due to a lack of care. In fact, it’s kinda the opposite. A lot of people with ADHD are what we’ll call “time-optimists.” They are super optimistic about their abilities so they tend to underestimate how much time something will take (and that’s WITHOUT all the distractions). 

4. Completing Tasks Can Be a Struggle

Getting shit done? Oof, it can be a struggle. Like, a REAL struggle. You might find it hard to prioritize tasks (or you do prioritize, but it’s not in a very realistic order). Just starting tasks can be a BIG issue too. And juggling multiple deadlines at once can feel suuuper overwhelming.

And you might also deal with chronic procrastination. Everyone puts off tasks they don’t really wanna do, but there’s a bigger demon to slay here when you have ADHD. It’s common to tell yourself that the crunch that this causes can be your best motivator…but you might be surprised (and relieved) to know that it’s actually not in your control at all. If you’re dealing with executive function issues then it’s really your brain circuits that are failing you. 

5. Organization Takes Extra Effort

With ADHD, you might have to put extra effort in to become organized. Keeping a tidy workspace can look different for you. You might leave things in plain sight so you don’t forget them, which might look messy to other people. Look, you just like having your things where you can see them! We get it, no judging here.

When you’re juggling multiple things at once, you might find it helpful to use checklists, phone reminders, or a planner with colour-coded tasks to keep you on track. Basically, you gotta go the extra mile with your planning! ‘Cause otherwise, you get overwhelmed by all of the things and all hell breaks loose.

6. Sometimes You’re Impulsive

Acting impulsively and having a “fuck it, let’s just do this” mentality is super common when you have ADHD. Sometimes you don’t wanna stop and think (because it just fucking hurts!), you just want to DO. This means that you might blurt out whatever you’re thinking about or say things at inappropriate times. And, sometimes you interrupt someone because you need to get your thoughts out before you lose them (which can come off as a teensy bit rude when you don’t mean to be!).

7. You Deal with Restlessness

Relaxation? Nope, not on your watch! ADHD makes it almost impossible to chill TF out. You constantly need to be doing SOMETHING, ‘cause your mind just won’t switch OFF.

Restlessness can also look like moving constantly. Sitting for a long time might make you feel antsy, so you squirm in your seat or get up to walk around. You might need to constantly be fidgeting or doing something to stay focused, even if you’re aware that you’re doing it! You might tap your fingers or feet, bounce your leg, hum to yourself or play with objects around you (like a stress ball) while you work or study. It might seem bizarre to a neurotypical person, but having that repetitive action helps you focus on one very tactile thing (which grounds you, dulling down all of the other stimulants around you). 

8. You Can Be Forgetful

Everyone forgets shit sometimes. Like, c’mon…if it wasn’t for social media, how many of us would forget to wish our relatives a happy birthday? Exactlyyy.

For someone with ADHD though, forgetfulness can happen more frequently. You might forget where you left your car keys, forget about your hair appointment…or even forget to eat in a day! Things just slip your mind (and the guilt that follows is the. worst. feeling. ever!) because there’s only so much room in one brain and ADHD always has it running at MAX capacity!

9. You Deal with Fatigue

Another not-so-fun side effect of ADHD? It commonly coincides with sleep disorders like sleep apnea, restless leg syndrome and insomnia which keep you from getting a good night’s sleep. Your brain just won’t allow you to relax enough to catch those ZZZ’s, so instead, you toss and turn alllll night long, making you totally exhausted. And that lack of sleep can then enhance other symptoms of ADHD like difficulty focusing, feeling unmotivated and forgetfulness.

Having ADHD means you’re also prone to overworking yourself which then leads to serious burnout. When you’re on a roll with a project, you might neglect self-care, even forgetting to take a break, drink some water or have lunch when you need it. All of which will of course suck the energy right outta you. GAH, it’s such a vicious cycle!

10. Emotions Can Be Challenging

When you have ADHD, your emotional reactions can be more intense compared to others. You might get irritated or frustrated more easily when something is hard, and then lash out or fall into a bad mood. Having ADHD can also make you incredibly critical of yourself when you can’t focus or complete tasks. It can cause you to carry a lot of guilt, shame or embarrassment. And you might get really down on yourself and deal with imposter syndrome (even though we both know you’ve earned everything you’ve worked so hard to achieve!).

And finally, it’s also common to deal with anxiety or depression when you have ADHD. You might constantly worry about your performance at work or school (or in your relationships) because of how ADHD affects these areas of your life. It can drag you down and make you feel hopeless about your situation. But please know that things CAN get better for you!

 

An important note: ADHD is a condition that can only be diagnosed by a doctor or mental health professional. If you feel like you can relate to the signs in this article, it’s probably a good idea to get tested for ADHD. You don’t have to deal with your symptoms alone! 

 

 

Feeling Hopeful: A Guide to Your Emotions

Hope is a really powerful emotion. It’s this positive feeling we get when ‘the future’s so bright, you have to wear shades’ (we know we weren’t the only ones who had this motivational poster hanging in our middle school classroom). Hope is an overwhelming sense that everything will work out how it’s supposed to, even if things don’t go exactly as planned. A lot of things in life are out of our control, but we can always hold on tight and hope for the best.

Are you feeling hopeful? Or could you use a little more hope in your life? Either way, you’ve come to the right place. Let’s dive thru feeling hopeful and how it impacts our mental wellbeing.

A Deeper Look at Feeling Hopeful

What does it really mean to feel hopeful? Let’s take a look at this definition of hope from Dictionary.com: “noun. the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best” and “verb. to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence; to believe, desire, or trust.” Well, sign us the fuck up. 

Feeling hopeful is great! On the other hand, when you feel really hopeless, it can feel like nothing’s going right. I’ve tried everything, so what’s the point?? Nothing helps! We get it. It’s not easy to feel hopeful all of the time, especially when so much of what happens in our lives is out of our control.

But without feeling hopeful, we probably wouldn’t push so hard to make changes in our lives for the better. We wouldn’t apply for the university program we’re passionate about, or the job of our dreams. Goals wouldn’t be set. Risks wouldn’t be taken.

We know that staying positive and looking forward to the future doesn’t always feel possible (we’re looking at YOU pandemic) especially when we can’t always be in control. But here’s the great thing about hope — it sees all of the bad and uncertainty and it still tells us, “It’s gonna be okay.” 

How Feeling Hopeful Shows Up Mentally

Feeling hopeful not only gives us a more positive outlook on life…it also lifts our spirits! Obviously, this is great news for our mental wellbeing. Having a positive outlook helps you feel more at ease, but there are tons of other benefits too! Here are some positive mental benefits you might notice when you’re feeling hopeful:

  • Lift in your mood
  • Reduced stress and anxiety
  • Increased attentiveness and focus
  • Boost in productivity
  • Spark of creativity
  • Improved analytical skills
  • Good thoughts
  • Increased motivation

Don’t get us wrong, we know that feeling hopeful doesn’t always come easy. You might be going through something that doesn’t make you feel super optimistic about the future. If you struggle with feelings of hopelessness on a regular basis, it’s a good idea to talk to a therapist. A therapist can help you identify areas of your life that could use a little TLC and give you some coping techniques to get you through this difficult time. 

How Feeling Hopeful Shows Up Physically

If you thought the benefits for your mental wellbeing were amazing, wait until you see all of the physical benefits feeling hopeful has to offer! Who knew the body responded so well to a positive mind?! (Well, we did. But we’re gonna remind you anyway!) Check out these physical benefits you might experience when you’re going through this emotion:

  • Reduced cortisol levels
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Strengthened immune system
  • better sleep
  • Improved digestion
  • Reduced pain

Did you know that happier people also live longer? Yep, it’s true! A study from 2019 showed that feeling optimistic and hopeful can actually increase your lifespan by 11-15 percent! This might be because people who are mentally healthy typically tend to take better care of their physical health. They’re more likely to be physically active, nourish their body with healthy foods and get enough sleep.

5 Ways to Embrace Feeling Hopeful

How do we process our hopeful feelings? We’re so glad you asked! Here are some strategies for embracing this emotion. Try ‘em out for yourself!

1. Journal

Try writing out exactly how you’re feeling and what makes you feel more hopeful. Expressing your feelings can give you clarity and feels really great, so jot it all down in detail! Bonus…on those down days you can look back and be reminded of these good feelings. 

2. Visualize Your Happy Place

We all have that happy place in our minds. Maybe it’s sitting by the fireplace at your Grandma’s house or summer nights at the sleep-away camp you went to as a kid. Whatever your happy place is, go there in your mind! Picturing someplace that makes you feel at peace can help lift your mood and put into perspective what really matters to you.

3. Practice Gratitude

Showing gratitude for the things that bring us hope, happiness and positivity…super underrated, but super necessary! Gratitude can look like simply taking notice of the good things in life and showing them appreciation. That might involve writing a list of things that bring you joy, volunteering in your community, or showing acts of kindness to the people who make your life better. 

4. Connect with a Friend

When you’re feeling hopeful and the future is looking bright, here’s an idea — why not connect with a friend?! Put that positive energy to good use by doing a fun activity together, whether it’s a hike in the great outdoors or a fun paint night at home. If you can’t meet in person, play a game over Zoom or just have a gab sesh! 

5. Practice Meditation

Meditation is a method that’s been used to relieve stress and improve mental clarity since, like…forever. This practice allows us to slowww down and shift our mindset (which is great when you’re aiming for a more hopeful outlook). If you’re not sure how to meditate, follow a guided practice on YoutTube to get you started. It’s a game-changer, trust us!

That’s it. That’s all for now. We HOPE you enjoyed diving thru this feeling with us (ha, see what we did there?) and that you learned something new! ‘Cause when it comes to emotions, there’s alwaysss more to learn.

 

10 Important Things You Will Learn in Couples Therapy

There’s a misunderstanding about couples therapy (actually, therapy in general) that says something must be wrong or broken if you’re seeing a therapist. But as mental health becomes more talked about and less stigmatized, more people are beginning to understand the benefit of attending therapy before something “goes wrong.” 

If you’re considering couples therapy, it doesn’t mean your relationship is broken. There are so many reasons why you and your partner might decide on therapy together. Maybe something (good or bad) significant happened to one, or both, of you that impacted the relationship. Or, you speak in different love languages and have a hard time understanding each other sometimes. Maybe you want to be proactive and keep lines of communication open and clear. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t mean your relationship is failing — it means you want to work together to strengthen the relationship. And we call that a BIG win!

No problem in a relationship is too big or too small for couples therapy. You can still love the other person and recognize that some improvements (okay, a LOT of improvements) need to be made. As Hayley Williams once said, “It’s not a walk in the park to love each other.” But if after all this time, you’re still into your partner…then hang tight! There’s always more to learn, friend.

Here are some important things you and your partner will learn in couples therapy.

1. Your Relationship Is a Two-Way Street

If your relationship isn’t in the healthiest place right now, it’s easy to place all of the blame on the other person (or even yourself). But there are two sides to every story, even when we don’t wanna accept that. Sometimes it’s not so obvious who’s right or wrong…we all have our own perspectives and feelings that are completely valid.

Since you’re equal parts of this relationship, you BOTH have to work together to take what you learn in therapy and apply it to your daily life. You’ve both gotta be willing to put in that work!

2. It’s Okay to Have Differences

There are so many quippy little sayings about relationships that you’ve probably heard before. Opposites attract. Two peas in a pod…two halves of a whole. So, which is it? Do the couples who are more alike work “better,” or the couples who are less similar?

The truth is, no matter how alike or unalike you are, you and your partner will disagree sometimes. But it’s not the end of the world! Accepting each other for those differences and recognizing that you might not see eye-to-eye on everything can still bring you closer, not drive a wedge between you. As long as you still show each other the love and respect you both deserve, you’re golden!

3. How to Work Through Stressors Together

Stressors can come in small, medium and large. If you and your partner know each other pretty well, you’ll probably have some idea of what stresses each other out. Maybe it’s work shit. Maybe it’s family shit. Could be any type of shit, really. Stress is stress is stress.

Relationship therapy can help you recognize when the other person is really going through it, how they cope, and how you can support them through their stressful times. Alllll the stress management tools you both need, all the time baby! 

4. What Your Values Are in Your Relationship

Maybe you value quality time, trust and open communication. Or, maybe you value affection, humour and personal time. Everyone has their own set of values (what matters most to them) for their relationship. Learning each other’s values can bring you closer and help you to better understand each other!

It’s also really important to learn what you need most from each other on an emotional level. ‘Cause everyone feels appreciated and loved in different ways! Your therapist can help you and your partner lay out what makes you feel loved and cared for. Whether it’s a post-it note on your mirror with a cute message, alone time to talk, or a great biiiiig hug after a shitty day — you both deserve to feel completely loved.

5. It Takes Practice to Make Things (Almost) Perfect

Couples therapy isn’t gonna magically change your lives overnight. You probably wish that your therapist could just wave a magic wand, say wingardium-whateverthefuck, and make all of the problems in your relationship go away! Buuut those changes aren’t gonna happen overnight.

It’s gonna take time. It’s gonna take effort. But the more you and your partner work at it, guess what? It’ll get there! The important thing is that you’re both actively trying and WANT to make things work. Your love will never be Disney-level perfect (because that’s unnatural, unrealistic), but it is definitely worth fighting for!

6. How to Work Through a Disagreement

Nobody likes fighting with their partner. You say things you don’t mean, slam a door, or give the silent treatment. Emotions, right? They can get the best of us. And it’s sure as hell not easy to work through a disagreement when neither of you is in the right mindset. Or if you’ve been having the same fight over…and over…and over again.

Couples therapy will help you work through those disagreements. That means knowing when to say sorry and take accountability. That means knowing when to pick your battles. It can also mean knowing how to approach disagreements in a way that sets you both up for success. These skills can help prevent those repeat arguments!

7. Communication Takes Commitment

Learning how to communicate isn’t just for fights. Open communication is all about talking through your feelings and being heard. You should be able to share everything with your partner — from your fears and failures to your joys and biggest successes. You should feel like they’re really listening. Your convos should be a judgement-free zone. And you should give all of that in return too!

Relationship therapy can teach you how to start that line of communication if that’s something that doesn’t come easy for you. One of you might feel a bit more closed off at first, but your commitment to working through it will pay off!

8. How to Be Individuals

It’s not uncommon to get so wrapped up in your relationship, you neglect other parts of your life. But you never wanna lose yourself in a relationship, and neither should your partner. You fell in love with each other for a reason! There were probably really cool things that drew you to them, like their passions, interests or goals. Those are what make us très unique, after all!

Depending on each other too much, or making your partner your entire world, isn’t healthy. If you’ve both lost sight of who you are as individuals, guess what can help you through it? Ding ding ding! Therapy.

9. You and Your Partner Are Only Human

No matter how much you love your partner, there will always be things about them that get under your skin. Maybe they’re not the best at texting back. Or they’re really bad at remembering important dates. Also, they kinda suck at driving. But what can ya do! You’ve gotta love ‘em anyway, right?

You know that you’re not perfect either. It’s safe to say that you also do things that drive your partner bananas. So how can you expect to have a perfect relationship?! It’s important to keep this in mind: neither of you will get things right 100% of the time. Learning to give each other the patience and compassion you both deserve is so important!

10. It’s Okay to Grow and Change

Days go by. Weeks go by. Months go by. Before you know it, yearsss go by. And just like we learn and grow with the times, so do our relationships! Maybe we change jobs or move into new homes. Or, we get engaged or married. Maybe we have kids, or maybe we choose to be child-free.

Every relationship has its own journey. The best part? You get to navigate it together! So be flexible, adjust as you go, and take those winding roads in stride. 

Sooo, if you didn’t pick up on this already…relationships can take some work. But there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! So don’t feel ashamed for needing some extra help along the way. You’ve got this!

 

Feeling Content: A Guide to Your Emotions

Feeling content. It’s not really an emotion we talk about that much, right? Buuut maybe that’s because it’s not a feeling we acknowledge very often. Think about it. When was the last time you took a pause and thought to yourself, I’m perfectly happy with how things are right now? If you DO feel that way on the reg, hey that’s great! Even when there are shitty days, you might take it in stride because you know that overall you’re feeling pretty good. For some people though, contentment might not come so easily. There can be so many different reasons for that, but…don’t worry. We’ll get into it!

Let’s dive thru feeling content, how it shows up and some ways to embrace this feeling to the fullest. 

A Deeper Look at Feeling Content

Okay, sooo what does it mean to feel content? Cambridge Dictionary defines feeling content as being: “adj. pleased with your situation and not hoping for change or improvement.” Basically, you’re super chill with your current state of being. Isn’t this what we all strive for?! It’s safe to say, we all want to feel content and truly happy. 

Sometimes though, it can be hard for us to feel content with ourselves and our lives. ‘Cause let’s face it — humans have a knack for always seeking out the capital B ‘BEST’ thing. We’ve all heard the saying. “The grass is always greener on the other side.”

How much time do we spend comparing ourselves to others, or daydreaming about things we wish would happen for us? Maybe we equate our own worth to how much money we make, what our grades are, the state of our romantic relationships, or how we think other people see us. We might even put conditions on our happiness too. I’ll be happy when I finally graduate and earn my degree. Or, when I land that promotion at my job. Maybe I’ll be happy when I find that special someone.

Of course, it’s not bad to want those things or to have goals. But feeling content is all about appreciating the present. It’s accepting who you are, where you are, at this moment. So when you do feel content, it’s a very freeing feeling! It reminds us that no matter what comes our way we’re at peace with it. We wanna live in the moment and enjoy ourselves. It doesn’t mean we can’t be ambitious or shoot for the damn stars! It means that we can enjoy the ride too.

How Feeling Content Shows Up Mentally

Fun fact — your mental wellbeing improves when you’re content. *gasp* Who would’ve guessed?! I mean, when we’re content, it’s not like we’re gonna fixate on all our problems or be in a lousy mood. Nope. It’s all good here, baby! Check out some of these mental benefits of feeling content, ‘cause they’re pretty great:

  • Lift in your mood
  • Reduced stress and anxiety
  • Increased attentiveness and focus
  • Boost in productivity
  • Spark of creativity
  • Improved analytical skills
  • Good thoughts
  • Increased motivation

When you feel content, your brain releases neurotransmitters called dopamine and serotonin throughout your body. Basically, they’re happy hormones and they’re pretty great. They make you feel on top of the world! Like things are so good, you don’t have to worry about the little things that normally get to you. You’re content AF to be here.

How Feeling Content Shows Up Physically

Again, content = at peace. When we’re feeling peaceful, we also feel happy. And the physical benefits are off the charts! It’s like our brains are telling our bodies, Hey, everything’s all good here! Relax and enjoy the ride! Here are some of the physical signs you might notice when you’re feeling content, in case you were wondering (we know you were):

  • Reduced cortisol levels
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Strengthened immune system
  • Better sleep
  • Improved digestion
  • Reduced pain
  • Longer lifespan

No stress, no worries, no probllama. When your mind is at ease, guess what? Your body follows suit! There are no stress hormones coursing through your veins. Just those happy hormones that we mentioned! So it turns out, feeling content is great for your physical health because it keeps your body regulated. Ahhhh-mazing, if you ask us!

5 Ways to Embrace Feeling Content

How do you embrace feeling content? Great question, friend. If you wanna explore this emotion even further, try some of these practices. They’re simple, yet super effective! Check ‘em out for yourself…

1. Journal

Journaling is one of our all-time fave practices for exploring our feels. So, try writing out exactly how you’re feeling and what made you feel this way! Maybe you’re just really content with your personal relationships right now, or how your professional life is going. Expressing your feelings can give you clarity and feels really great, so jot it all down in detail so you can look back at it all the next time you’re feeling down.

2. Meditate

Meditation relieves stress and improves mental clarity. This practice allows us to slowww down and shift our mindset, which is great when you’re feeling crummy. Even when you DO feel content…guess what? Meditation is still a great option! It’s versatile like that.

3. Engage in Something Soothing/Comforting

Because, why not? Spend time with your pet by cuddling them or taking them on a walk. Touch something comforting like your fave cozy blanket. Brew some tea or your drink of choice. Find whichever method or activity is right for you in the moment that makes you feel oh so content and peaceful.

4. Practice Gratitude

Gratitude is simply taking notice of the good things in life and showing them appreciation. That might involve writing a list of things that bring you joy, volunteering in your community, or showing acts of kindness to the people who make your life better. Spread that joy around!

5. Engage in Something Creative

Getting creative is a great method for unwinding and channelling our emotions. Try your hand at clay or painting, writing a poem, playing an instrument, or singing and dancing! There are so many ways to get creative, so do whatever brings you joy and contentment. Sooo worth it!

Well…that’s all for now! Thanks for diving thru this emotion with us. It’s our fave thing to do and we’re so glad you stopped by!

 

6 Ways to Cope with High Functioning Depression

Did you wake up today and notice that your eyes are a little heavier than they usually are? Can you not get your mind off of that traumatic thing that happened a while ago? Did something just feel off about the day, and yet you managed to pull yourself together and carry on regardless? That’s called compartmentalizing and it plays a big part in high functioning depression!

Much like high functioning anxiety, it causes you to suffer silently behind the scenes. You experience alllll of the discomfort and sadness that is associated with depression, but you hide it away deep within yourself so that you can get done what you need to get done. But why do some of your symptoms live behind the scenes while others don’t? 

What Is High Functioning Depression?

If you have high functioning depression, you still go through all the same symptoms and struggles as anyone else with depression. Except you push all the gross feelings (that would usually keep you holed up in bed) into a metaphorical cardboard box that you shove into the back of your closet so you can deal with them later. But…sometimes you never deal with them.

You fall into a routine of knowing that you’re struggling, but choose to just put on a smile and go about your day. You put out the best work you can so that no one would be able to guess that, deep down, there’s a dark and angry depression demon gnawing at your mind. So, let’s help you figure out your symptoms so you can spot them as soon as they come up and learn to overcome them.

High Functioning Depression Symptoms

The signs of high functioning depression include imposter syndrome. You constantly feel like you’re faking it because, well, you kinda are! You’re acting like the person you think others want (and expect) you to be while hiding what’s really going on in your head. The good days are normal, but the bad days are really bad. It’s hard for you to focus, you’re constantly exhausted, and, to top it all off, you have to prove that you’re struggling because you seem ‘fine.’ 

There are also physical signs of depression that show up to the party uninvited, and this is how they make themselves known. 

  • Fatigue
  • Insomnia
  • Headaches
  • Body aches
  • Digestive problems
  • High blood pressure
  • Changes in appetite or weight
  • Weakened immune system
  • Lower sex drive

How to Deal with High Functioning Depression 

Again, just like high functioning anxiety, there isn’t really an exact diagnosis for high functioning depression. You may show the classic signs of depression or maybe you don’t, but you’re definitely struggling behind the mask that you’ve created for yourself. 

You just have to be reeaalllly open with your mental health professional (and trust us, we know how hard that is). But they will only be able to set up a therapy or medication plan for you if they can see your struggle, so try not to sweep it under the rug. 

6 Ways to Cope 

Overcoming depression and anxiety is never easy. Treatment can be a rocky road and it can feel scary to let your guard down after a long time of playing pretend. So, make sure you also take care of your mind and your soul by practicing these exercises — whenever you need them and for however many times it takes.

1. Become Aware. Realize that the way you’ve been going about your days is not healthy and will only get worse over time.

2. Label It. Whether you wanna call it high functioning depression or just depression, make sure you give your feelings a name rather than just put up with them.

3. Talk About It. Talk about what you’re going through, either with a therapist or someone else you trust, rather than just ruminating in your head all day every day.

4. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone. Try something new to break out of your routine, because your brain likely needs some joy once in a while.

5. Lower the Bar. Perfectionism is impossible to reach, so strive for “good enough” and give yourself a break when you’re not feeling your best.

6. Get Support. Tell at least a few people at work/school (who you trust) what’s going on so that they can serve as your support on the really bad days.

Being able to practise these regularly won’t happen overnight. But try to shift the energy you used to rely on to compartmentalize, to feel and embrace your emotions instead! Coming out of a depression is a long road, but it’s one that you can absolutely do with the right tools and support. We believe in you! We love you!