Written by DiveThru Team
Reviewed by Natalie Asayag MSW, LCSW
Building Healthy Relationships: 5 Tips For Queer Folks
Published Apr 29th, 2021 & updated on Jun 16th, 2021
Communication, respect, and trust are important in every relationship. But, for those under the LGBTQIA2S+ umbrella, there is a bit more to take into account! Building healthy relationships isn’t always straight-forward and it doesn’t always come easy but it’s SO worth it to try and get it right.
Queer folks experience the same amount of love, intimacy, and disagreements in relationships as heterosexual couples. But their unique identities need a little extra pinch of care to make sure a relationship is healthy and supportive of their needs. So, let’s look into what boxes need to be checked on our relationship checklists!
5 Qualities Of A Healthy Queer Relationship
The groundwork of building healthy relationships starts with viewing each other as equals! And that goes for ANY relationship! You can openly discuss things that are important to you, you make compromises, and you can trust each other when you’re apart. You’re also not afraid to share those things you’re suuuuper embarrassed about — whether you wear a nightguard or still sometimes pee the bed — because you know they will love you no matter what! A true David and Patrick combo!
Speaking of David and Patrick, as wonderful and accepting as their relationship is, they def had some extra hurdles to overcome. When Patrick decided it was time to come out to his parents (even though they kinda sorta already knew, oops), David didn’t rush anything and instead just made sure his man knew he was there for him! Their relationship reached a whole other level with that “we’ll get through it together” attitude.
So, if you’re also navigating an LGBTQIA2S+ relationship, remember that there are some specific things both you and your partner can do to keep things healthy and safe!
1. You Learn About Your Partner’s Identity & Sexuality
It’s important to be informed on how you and your partner(s) can best support each other, which means learning all about each other’s gender identities and sexual orientations. Being able to help each other with coming out, transitioning, or anything in between starts with knowing as much as you can about what the other is going through.
Even if one of you doesn’t 100% relate or understand at first, that’s okay! It’ll come with time and, for now, you can just listen and be supportive. Using inclusive language and validating each others’ experiences are huuuuge steps in the right direction — because this is a hella vulnerable place to be.
2. You Respect Each Other’s Pronouns
You and your partner(s) calling each other by the right pronouns will make you feel respected and validated — especially if you’ve been struggling with gender dysphoria. It’s a conversation you and your partner are comfortable having, because you support each other in following your instincts. You and your partner(s) introduce each other with these pronouns, use them on social media, and make sure you never feel judged for wanting to be called by what feels right!
3. You Support Identity & Self-Expression
Let’s take pronouns one step further into gender identity and expression. In a healthy relationship, you can adopt the mannerisms, interests, and appearances that you feel best represent who you are — without having to worry about what your partner(s) will think! That is your individual experience with gender. A supportive partner will be there for you on every step of your journey. They’ll just be happy that you’re living your truth.
4. You Support Sexual Orientation
You and your partner(s) recognize that your sexualities make you unique. And, you help each other to spread the love in your own personal way! If you’re monogamous, you also don’t question the trust between you for it. Because all orientations can be monogamous if that’s what you want!
For example, pansexuals are emotionally, romantically, or sexually attracted to persons of any gender identity. However, that doesn’t change the dedication between you and your partner. If you and/or your partner are bisexual or pansexual, it does NOT mean you are attracted to everyone all the time and will lose sight of your relationship. You just have a few more fish in your sea!
5. You Respect Each Other’s Boundaries
When you’re thinking about building healthy relationships, it’s crucial to remember boundaries. It’s sooo important to have boundaries. It’s — say it with us — FUN-DA-MENTAL. A partner can never predict what might trigger you, or vice versa! So, it’s important to have convos about boundaries before getting busy — not after something’s gone wrong. And these boundaries don’t just fall in the realm of sex! For example, things like PDA or just being touched the wrong way can be seriously difficult for some people, including those who identify as asexual or aromantic.
You and your partner(s) being able to support and accept every bit of each other’s identity — gender AND sexual — will bring you closer together and make your relationship more fulfilling! So, the next time someone asks if your relationship is healthy, you can answer with “abso-fricken-lutely!”
Did you know there is an LGBTQ+ social network AND dating app? It’s called Taimi and it already has over 10 million users! Taimi offers a safe and secure experience, with no judgement, discrimination, or hate. Download the free Taimi app if you’re looking for a long-term romance, to make new friends, to network, or to just talk to someone for fun. And Taimi is open to everyone regardless of where they identify on the gender and sexuality spectrum. We love to see it!
*This article is sponsored by Taimi.