Written by DiveThru Team
Reviewed by Natalie Asayag MSW, LCSW
Feeling Furious: A Guide To Your Emotions
Published Dec 23rd, 2020 & updated on Mar 19th, 2021
Sometimes, we get angry. Guess what? That’s totally normal! Anger is a natural response to any of the manyyy stressors we might be experiencing in our daily lives. Whether it stems from a demanding workload that takes up most of your precious time, or relationship challenges that are BEYOND emotionally draining, anger can actually be useful! It signals when we need to make some changes so that we can move the F on with our lives and become the best version of ourselves. And who doesn’t want that? But what about when we’re feeling really angry? Like… really, REALLY angry?
When we keep all of our anger inside and over time and it turns into something sooo much more intense, to the point we’re seriously having a hard time keeping this feeling under control?! Yeppp when we’re furious, it can be a lil’ bit harder to navigate than your everyday run-of-the-mill anger. But don’t worry, we’re here for you. Let’s work through this emotion so that you can manage feeling furious in healthy ways, like a champ!
A Deeper Look At Feeling Furious
What’s the difference between feeling angry and feeling furious? Dictionary.com defines furious as: “full of fury, violent passion, or rage; extremely angry; enraged.” Yikes. That sounds… intense.
But it’s true, our feelings of anger CAN be really intense. And when they escalate to full-on rage, that’s when we’re beyond angry. We’re FURIOUS. Feeling furious is that next level anger that does more harm than good. We might have a harder time getting this feeling under control, which can lead us to act out in ways that we normally wouldn’t. There are lots of reasons you might be feeling this way, from personal problems to traumatic events to the everyday bullshit we have to deal with as humans.
Maybe your partner keeps leaving their dishes on the counter after you’ve pointed out multiple times that the dishwasher is right there. But over and over again, you walk into the kitchen and see their plate sitting on the counter, even though the dishwasher is empty and literally .002 inches away. Suddenly, you’re FUMING. In the heat of the moment, you take that plate and smash it on the ground. Your partner rushes out to see what happened and looks at you like you’re a time bomb that’s about to explode. And tbh, you kinda feel like one! You’re not a violent person, but your emotions got the best of you. Now, you just feel like a complete asshole.
Pause for a sec. Remember when we said anger can be healthy? Well, this example is obvs not a healthy way of managing your emotions. Extreme anger can be a sign of something else going on in your life that needs to be addressed before it affects your life in extremely negative ways.
How Feeling Furious Shows Up Mentally
When we’re furious, things can get a little bit out of control. It suddenly becomes harder to keep it inside, so we might act out in ways that we normally don’t. Here are some signs that your feelings are actually a sign of an anger problem:
– Extreme anger that affects your personal relationships
– Feeling like you have to hold your anger inside
– Difficulty controlling your feelings of anger
– Negative thoughts that are constant or fixating on negative experiences
– Getting into arguments more often which only escalates your emotions
– Feeling more irritable, impatient or hostile than normal
– Becoming physically violent
– Threatening violence
– Behaving recklessly or acting on impulse
– Avoiding situation out of fear that you’ll have an outburst
How Feeling Furious Shows Up Physically
When we feel furious, our body shows physical cues. A lot of ‘em, actually! Here’s a few you’ve probably experienced before when you’ve been furious AF:
– Clenched jaw
– Grinding teeth
– Increased blood pressure
– Increased heart rate
– Muscle tension
– Feeling hot in the neck or face
– Shaking or trembling
– Tingling sensation
Feeling furious can bring out the worst in us. We might become so enraged that we raise our voice, or even worse, yell in someone’s face. Extreme feelings of anger can potentially result in physical fights or abusive behaviour, if it’s not kept under control. Some people who struggle to handle their emotions turn to substances as a coping mechanism, which can lead to a toxic pattern that’s hard to beat. If you notice mental and physical signs that your anger is getting out of hand, it’s important to get professional help.
5 Ways To Cope With Feeling Furious
Sooo… we’ve established that you’re a rage machine. Now what? Don’t worry, we have some tips that will help you overcome this feeling.
1. Reach out to a support person
Venting to a friend or family member who you can trust can be a great way to work through this feeling. They’ll be there for you and make you feel less alone.
2. Move your body
Let’s get physical! Go for a walk, stretch, ride a bike, dance, you name it. Exercise releases endorphins and improves your mood. Plus, it actually boosts your energy and improves focus. It does alllll the things.
3. Run your hands under water, splash your face with water, or hold an ice cube
This method might sound weird, but we swear it works. Try to mindfully note the temperature of the water and the sensation of the water on your skin. The sensation helps by slowing your heart rate, lowering your cortisol levels (stress hormone), and releasing endorphins (happy hormone). Simple, yet effective!
4. Practice progressive muscle relaxation
This is a helpful technique for reducing stress that involves tensing a group of muscles as you breathe in, and then relaxing them while you breathe out. Repeat as needed!
Try writing out exactly how you’re feeling and where you think it’s coming from. Then, reframe and counter the negative thoughts you’re having. Taking the time to journal our thoughts can give us the clarity we need to move forward!
That’s it, that’s all for now! We hope this article will help guide you along as you work through this emotion. ‘Cause we get it: emotions can be tough to navigate on your own. You got this, friend!