Written by DiveThru Team
Reviewed by Natalie Asayag MSW, LCSW
Am I Ready For A Baby?
Published Nov 17th, 2020 & updated on Mar 20th, 2021
Having a baby is a really big decision. Like, really big. In a lot of ways, you’ll have to put your life on hold by making your little bundle of joy priority #1. In order to raise them and care for them as best as you can, their needs will need to be met before yours 99.999997% of the time. You’ll have to make sacrifices and revolve your schedule around theirs. And changing diapers. Lots of ‘em. We think now is the time to ask yourself, am I ready for a baby?!
Of course you’ll love the bebe (insert Moira Rose voice here) unconditionally, but things WILL change. Hey, that’s not a bad thing! It just means making some adjustments to your lifestyle.
There are a lot of things to consider before making the decision to have a baby. And if you’re here, you’re ready to hear about them! Let’s dive thru it all together.
A New Financial Responsibility
When you decide to bring a baby into the world, you’re committing to raising and caring for them until they can look after themselves. Anddd that comes with a price tag. A pretty hefty one. One that spans the eighteen years you’re in charge of this tiny human you’ve created.
It’s super important to take a look at your financial situation and plan ahead when you decide to have a baby. But also think about having to hold off on purchases for yourself, like upgrading to the newest iPhone, because it’s time to upgrade the car seat instead. Just #babythings.
Emotional Labour Has Entered The Chat
Having a baby isn’t just about putting them in the cutest outfits to post on the ‘gram (no hate, we love to see a baby rockin’ a beret). But you can bet there’s A LOT of emotional labour that goes into raising that tiny human.
There’s gonna be lots of crying, bodily fluids alllll over your clothes, and sleepless nights. Babies will demand all of your love and attention. At times, you might feel like you’re on a rollercoaster of emotions trying to figure out how to care for your baby and look after yourself, too. This is when knowing how to practice self-compassion can come in realllllyyyyy handy.
Your Career Will Be Affected
Whether it’s you or your partner (or both of you!) taking time off to care for your baby, your careers will be affected by this decision. On the smallest level, even the sleepless nights will have an impact on your work. On the biggest level, this new person in your life will change your relationships, your finances, your own self care…which naturally comes with a lot of stress.
If you have to work less hours than you’re used to, how will that make you feel? If you have to pass up a promotion in the short term because that means too much time away from your family, how does that make you feel?
Being a working parent is not impossible and having a baby doesn’t mean your career is toast. In fact, we know SO many working parents who are absolute rockstars. BUT, your career will be affected so you might as well consider the ‘how’ early on.
Your Social Life Will Change
Your social life won’t be the same once you have a baby. It sucks, but it’s just the reality. If your friends don’t have kids yet, they’ll still be able to make plans on the fly. Maybe they won’t get that you can’t come out for dinner on the weekends because you couldn’t find a babysitter last minute. Also, the guilt of leaving your kid with a babysitter? Yeahhh, it’s a thing. Maybe they won’t understand that you had to cancel spin class because your baby woke up with a fever. Or that brunch isn’t going to work out because you know your baby is being fussy and something is wrong.
And your friends who DO have kids will also be busy with their own families sometimes. Getting together with friends might revolve around playdates to keep the kids occupied. Chances are, you’ll be spending more time with friends who have kids the same age as yours for that reason! Buuut sometimes you can barely finish a conversation while running after the kids, so that’s also hard. Ultimately, it comes down to what’s more convenient for you and your family. It may take more time and effort and organization to plan to see each other, but most parents will say it’s all worth it.
Your Relationship With Your Partner Will Change
Once a baby arrives, there will be a shift in your relationship. For one, you’ll have way less alone time. And instead of being each other’s main concern, you’ll both be consumed with the baby. Most of your time and energy will be focused on caring after that little angel you created, and less on date nights. But making time for each other as a couple will still be super important! It’ll just take a little extra effort.
You’ll Need To Learn How To Ask For Help
Ever heard the saying, “it takes a village to raise a kid?” Well, it’s absolutely true! No parent can do it all. Now and then, you’re gonna need some help. Even if it’s just someone watching the baby for a few hours so you can get some rest. And if you’re new to the whole parenting thing, you best believe you could use some pointers! Do you have people in your life who can support you and help you out when the time comes? Are there any support groups you can reach out to for guidance? Who can you turn to if you need to focus on your mental health throughout the process? Spend some time defining your support system.
When it comes to deciding if you’re ready for a baby, just remember: the choice is YOURS and yours alone. We support you no matter what!