June 2021 - Page 2 of 3

When to Break Up with Them: 15 Signs It’s Time

You’ve been with your partner for a few months, or maybe even years, and things were great for a while! But nooowwww, maybe things are a little stagnant, you’re fighting more than ever, or you’re starting to notice some irreconcilable differences. You’ve been wondering for a while if this is just a bump in the road that you can overcome, or if it might be a dead-end — you just have NO idea where to even begin figuring that out. How do people know when to break up? That’s why we’re here to help!

How To Know When To Break Up

Knowing when to break up with someone is a tricky feat, and sometimes you find yourself making a pro-and-con list just to get a grasp on what you’re feeling! You probably have a huge pit in your stomach just THINKING about ending things with your partner and aren’t sure if that’s actually what you want or if it was just a fleeting thought. Well, here are 15 signs to consider if it really might be time to say goodbye!

1. You’re Making All The Sacrifices

Mutual sacrifices are an important part of a relationship because they ensure that the relationship is sustainable for the long run and there is an equal investment for both parties! But if you find yourself constantly watching the movies THEY like, eating the food THEY want, hanging out with THEIR friends and seeing THEIR family over having your own needs met, then they are not giving your needs and wants enough consideration.

2. Your Values Aren’t Aligned

Whether it’s about religion, politics, marriage, wanting to have kids or ANYTHING in between, differing values can cause a big rift between partners! Once you encounter a difference in core values, it can be hard to just forget about it because it’s just such a big elephant in the room. If you aren’t able to meet each other in the middle, then those misaligned values will just keep becoming more and more prominent, and will likely sabotage the success of the relationship.

3. There’s No Trust

Trust is fundamental in a relationship! And if you aren’t able to go out for drinks with friends without your partner texting or calling to know where you are, trust probably isn’t very present. Because that shouldn’t cause problems in a strong, trusting relationship! If you don’t have trust you might be already thinking of when to break up. Feeling secure and confident in the bond you have is key.

4. You’re Always Fighting

It’s normal to fight in a relationship, but usually in small amounts! If you notice you end up having more bad moments than good, then you may be fighting too much. It crosses the line of typical partner bickering and moves towards toxic patterns that are really hard to break! Bottom line: it’s normal to argue over little things, like a misread text, but it shouldn’t be the norm. And especially be on the lookout for if your fights are no longer about specific issues, but devolve into berating the person themself.

5. There’s A Lack Of Communication

Have they been suuuper distant or just not as responsive lately? Are they just not returning the effort in texts, phone calls and even face-to-face conversations? Then something may be off. Communication should be a two-way street! And if you feel like you’re constantly talking to a brick wall, then it may be time to think about when to break up.

6. Your Needs Aren’t Being Met

When we say ‘needs’ in a relationship context, we mean you should be getting your physical and emotional needs met! Things like physical touch, but also companionship, affection, security and appreciation, are very important in a relationship. When they aren’t present, it can feel like you’re alone even with your partner sitting right beside you! This can lead to you minimizing your own needs and becoming resentful towards your partner if left unchecked.

7. There’s No More Effort

You know at the beginning of the relationship when you went on allll the dates? Your partner always dressed up and even brought you little gifts to brighten your day. But over time, that effort has really deteriorated. You don’t remember the last time you did something special together or even just received a sweet text. And when that effort doesn’t come back, the relationship might not feel as fulfilling. Remember, it’s normal to settle into a routine as the relationship matures, but that doesn’t mean either partner should stop trying altogether.

8. You’re Not Happy Anymore

This is a big one! Happiness naturally comes and goes in waves, but if it has been a very long time since you last experienced happiness in your relationship, it may be a sign of a deeper issue. If you don’t enjoy spending time with your partner, you might end up resenting them after a while! You should BOTH enjoy being together, because unhappiness results in less affection and just feeling stuck in that part of your life.

9. You Feel Trapped

Alright, going off that last one, it’s generally not a good sign to feel stuck or trapped in a relationship. If you feel like you can’t move forward together, or like you have no way out of the relationship, it’s probably a good indicator that you are unhappy and that your partner may no longer be the same person you initially started dating (and maybe neither are you!). The key is to ascertain if the people you have grown into can still successfully grow together into the future.

10. You’re Irritated By Minor Things They Do

You start to fixate on allll the things that bug you about your partner. Maybe it’s that they chew with their mouth open, they keep forgetting to put the toilet seat down, or they always leave their dirty cups in the sink, and it just annoys you more than it EVER has before! This is a sign that you’re looking for negative aspects in your partner, rather than focusing on the good. Sometimes acknowledging this can be an opportunity to grow and learn to let the little things go, but sometimes it can be a deeper issue or a sign of general incompatibility.

11. You’re Constantly Reflecting On The Honeymoon Phase

Ah, yes. The honeymoon phase. Every relationship’s golden standard! If you’re constantly reminiscing about that glowy feeling you experienced in the first few months together, it might be ‘cause the present isn’t matching up. Of course, you’re going to settle into a routine after the honeymoon phase is over — but it should just feel more comfortable, not less loving!

12. There’s Physical, Verbal, Or Emotional Abuse

Abuse of any kind is one of the biggest red flags in a relationship…but, through rose-coloured glasses, those red flags tend to look just like flags. Once you’re able to recognize that cycle of abuse (the love-bombing followed by constant belittling and gaslighting), you’ll notice how absolutely unhealthy it is to always be on edge like that! A partner should lift you up, not tear you down.

13. You Don’t Like Or Recognize Yourself

In an unhappy or abusive relationship, you might feel like you’ve lost yourself. You give up your values, stop doing things you enjoy and just become a hollow shell of the person you used to be! Family members and friends no longer recognize you and, honestly, neither do you. If you’re experiencing this, it may be time to consider ending the relationship. Ultimately, you’ve got to put yourself first and say goodbye to things that no longer positively serve you — even though that’s easier said than done!

14. You’re Always Thinking About Breaking Up

Like we said at the beginning of this article, if you’re making pro-and-con lists about your relationship, you’re probably already considering breaking up with your partner. And if that’s a constant thought process, then this is clearly an issue that’s top of mind! Your gut is probably screaming at you to listen to it and, if that’s the case, then you may have already subconsciously decided when to break up.

15. You Can’t See A Future With Them

Lastly, and probably most importantly, can you envision a future with this person? If you keep coming up with ifs, ands, or buts then the answer is “probably not.” And that’s okay! You’re probably going to have a few trial-and-error attempts before you do find that special someone (or someones). Sometimes, differing values and beliefs get in the way — and it’s just time to say goodbye.

It can be VERY tough navigating how to let go of someone, especially if you’re breaking up with someone you love. But sometimes, you’re just holding on to someone who is wrong for you! You deserve to be happy, have your needs met and not lose yourself in a relationship. So, hopefully next time you ask yourself “When is it time to break up?” you can think back to this article and remember all 15 reasons why now might be the time.

8 Effects of Cyberbullying on a Child’s Mental Health

As a parent, your #1 concern is your kid’s safety. You probably double-check they’re wearing a seatbelt in the vehicle, set curfews and make sure their phone is on them at ALL TIMES when they’re away from home. ‘Cause you love that lil’ rugrat, even when they push your buttons.

Lately, though, you’ve noticed your child isn’t acting like their usual self. They’re kinda moody and snap at you when you ask a simple question, or they go hide away in their room for hours and hours on end. And they don’t seem to hang around their friends much anymore. Actually, when you bring their friends up, your kid suddenly gets reallyyy quiet. Uhh…what’s that all about?

You think to yourself: Maybe it’s just those damn hormones. But they’ve also been suuuper weird about their phone recently. You try not to be nosey and you don’t wanna cross any boundaries by snooping through their messages…but you’re getting pretty worried. And worried parents need some answers! You’ve heard of cyberbullying and how nasty it can be. Maybe THAT’S the reason they’ve been having such a rough time? So, let’s go over what it is, the different types and the effects of cyberbullying on a child’s mental health.

What Is Cyberbullying?

If this is all new to you, you might be wondering: what IS cyberbullying, really? Like, how is cyberbullying real?! Can’t kids just, you know…log off if it makes them unhappy? Yaaa, it’s not that simple. Research shows that 95% of teens in the U.S. are online and have access to the internet from their smartphones. A huge part of their social connection and self-expression is experienced through being online — it’s just the world we’re livin’ in!

Right, back to the original question. What is cyberbullying? It’s any bullying (mocking, intimidating, excluding, spreading rumours) that happens online or through texting. And it’s wayyy more common than you might think! Here are some quick facts about cyberbullying (and some of the effects of cyberbullying) that you should know:

About 37% of kids between 12-17 have been bullied online.
30% of those kids have been cyberbullied more than once.
23% of students report that they have said something mean to someone else online.
About 50% of LGBTQ+ students face online harassment.
Young people who experience cyberbullying have a higher risk of self-harm or suicide.
Only 1 in 10 teen cyberbullying victims will tell a parent or adult figure about it.

That’s a lot of kids in a lot of pain. It’s very serious and can be very scary for the person being bullied, and their parent(s).

Types of Cyberbullying

Bullying is not a new concept, but it can look so different nowadays. You can’t keep up with all the apps your kid is using, either. It just seems like…a LOT. There are a few different types of cyberbullying you should be aware of that can happen online with your kids.

Exclusion: Intentionally excluding or singling someone out from chats or games.

Harassment: Sending threatening or offensive messages, sometimes multiple at once.

Outing/Doxing: Publicly sharing information about someone without their permission.

Trickery: Tricking someone into sharing personal information about themselves to use against them.

Impersonation: Creating a fake profile in someone’s name or hacking their account to pretend to be them.

Cyberstalking: Stalking or harassing someone to the point where they fear their safety offline.

Flaming: Verbally attacking someone online by posting or sending offensive messages.

Denigration: Spreading rumours or lies about someone online to harm their reputation.

The Effects of Cyberbullying

No surprise here, but the effects of cyberbullying can be ROUGH on youth. If this is something your kiddo is going through then you might start to notice these mental and physical effects.

1. Social Withdrawal

It’s super common for kids to withdraw and isolate themselves when they’re being cyberbullied. Instead of turning to their support systems, like their best friends (who could actually be behind the bullying), they do the total opposite. They shut down. They hide away in their rooms (even more than usual). It’s like all they wanna do is be left alone!

2. Low Self-Esteem

Kids are so, SO vulnerable. They’re growing up and still figuring out who they are and where they belong. Fitting in with their peers is pretty much the main thing lingering in the back of their precious little minds alllll of the time. So cyberbullying can really damage their self-esteem and self-worth. They won’t feel accepted and they’ll begin to doubt themselves because of it.

3. Problems with Focus

Another one of the effects of cyberbullying? Lack of focus. Obviously, this can cause your kid’s grades to start slipping. If they’ve started to isolate themselves or are struggling big time at school then they might even start skipping class to avoid the problem (or avoid their bullies). When kids are being bullied online, it still follows them everywhere.

4. Losing Interest in Things That Make Them Happy

All those activities your kid LOVES to do? Yaaa, when they’re being cyberbullied, that goes out the window. For them, it could feel like all of those things don’t bring them joy anymore, not even as a distraction. Cyberbullying sucks the fun right outta their lives, so take note if they stop playing guitar, taking photos, or playing their favourite video game. It could mean something’s up!

5. Difficulty Sleeping

If your kid is being a huge grump lately or seems like they’re alwaysss complaining about how tired they are, it could be because they’re not getting enough sleep. When cyberbullying is going on, they might toss and turn all night long, sleep way later than normal, or even have nasty nightmares. Cyberbullying puts them under a lot of stress, so sleep will probably be impacted!

6. Gastrointestinal Issues or Disordered Eating

Ugh, this one is the WORST. There are stomach cramps. The anxiety poops. Nausea because they’re so anxious and upset. Stomach troubles are a common issue when you’re dealing with cyberbullying because their mind is all out of sorts and the body responds to that.

It’s also a possibility that someone being cyberbullied could experience disordered eating. Skipping meals or binge eating might make your kid feel like they’re gaining some sense of control, especially if they feel like they have zero control over their situation. So, watch for changes in their eating habits!

7. Depression

If your kid has been dealing with cyberbullying and all of the not-so-nice feelings that come along with it, it could develop into depression. They could feel hopeless and powerless about the situation and have a hard time seeing a way out of it. And because it’s often so hard for kids to open up to their parents or a trusted adult about these kinds of problems, they feel totally alone. They become stuck. It’s not hard to see why that would bring them down and make them feel incredibly sad.

8. Anxiety

Anddd, last but certainly not least, anxiety. Victims of cyberbullying experience super high levels of anxiety…and can you blame them?! Nope, we think not. Not only will they probably be dealing with a ton of anxious thoughts, but they could even start to experience more physical signs of anxiety, like a racing heart rate, sweating, trembling and even panic attacks. It can be sooo overwhelming for them to deal with on their own!

Many of these signs are significant mental health red flags, as well as suicide warning signs, so it’s important to seek the help of a mental health professional. If you notice any (or all) of these signs in your kiddo, don’t just brush it off as them “just being a kid.” There could be a lot more going on than you might even realize! Even if they don’t come to you first about it, they might just need someone to simply ask them what’s going on.

Be there for them as best as you can and let them know you’re there to support them, no matter what. And if it turns out they ARE being cyberbullied, let them know that you’re there by their side as you figure out what your next steps will be!

8 Examples of What to Say When Someone Is Sick

It’s never easy when a friend, a family member, or a partner comes to you and tells you they’re sick — whether the illness is short-term, long-term, or terminal. And when it happens, you’re probably thinking “Holy shit, what do I say now?” You’ve gotta be sensitive to what they’re going through while also staying away from stupid platitudes like “Everything’s going to be alright” (because that totally invalidates their experience!).

You especially wanna stay away from saying things that will make them ruminate about their condition or illness even MORE! For example, “What do you think caused it?” or “Is it terminal?” Your best bet is to stick to comforting words that will keep them in better spirits (as good as they can be, anyway). And we’ve got 8 examples of what to say when someone is sick!

Short-Term Illnesses

Whether a broken limb or a bad case of the flu, they’re probably not in the best mood! One of the best things you can do at this moment is to just listen and then choose some of these words of comfort to support them. Here are some examples of what to say when someone is sick with a short-term illness.

1. “Let Me Take On Some of Your To-Do List.”

They’re probably not feeling up to getting groceries or washing the dishes, so see if you can do it for them! It will lift a HUGE weight off their shoulders and it’ll be reassuring for them knowing they have someone to do the things they can’t.

2. “How Is Your Mental Health Right Now?”

Let them vent about how they’re feeling — because if they’re locked up in bed with the flu or a broken arm, they’re most likely feeling the burden of isolation and loneliness. Just be there for them and let them talk about what’s going on in their head.

3. “Is There a Fun Activity We Can Do Together?”

Get creative and find something you can do together that they’re still able to take part in. Whether it’s a game of “Eye Spy” or an embarrassing stories-sharing session, it’ll keep their mind busy and let them keep a positive mindset!

4. “Call Me Anytime You Need Something.”

They may need something, like pain meds or even just company, when you’re not around. So, make sure they know that they can ask you for whatever they need, anytime — even if that’s just a 5-minute phone call!

Long-Term Illnesses

Long-term or terminal illnesses are a bit harder to navigate…for example, what to say when someone has cancer or lupus. Maybe it’s a mental health condition, like depression, and it’s reeeally taking a toll on their life. Comforting words for serious illness aren’t usually at the tip of the tongue, but we’ve brainstormed a few to help you get started! Here are some examples of what to say when someone is sick with a long-term illness.

5. “I’m Here to Listen If You Want to Talk About It.”

Rather than asking them allll the questions about what they’re going through, let them decide what they want to share! It helps them take charge of their illness (and maybe be able to cope with the diagnosis a bit better).

6. “How Are You Holding Up?”

Saying something as easy as this lets them know that it’s okay to not be okay. In a serious situation like this, it’s not as easy as just sleeping on it and feeling better the next morning. You’ve got to respect that they’re going to sit in that sadness — and probably for a while.

7. “Let Me Know What I Can Help You With and When You Want to Be Alone.”

Allow THEM to set the boundaries because only they know what they need right now. So, take the pressure off by letting them tell you if they need something and when they want company. ‘Cause unwanted attention can be especially difficult for someone going through a serious illness!

8. “You Didn’t Do Anything to Make This Happen.”

Reassure them that there isn’t anything they could have done to prevent this from happening. They’re probably very down on themselves, and a bit of reassurance may help them feel slightly better about what’s happening.

Just a little reminder that words of encouragement aren’t a one-size-fits-all solution! When deciding what to say when someone is sick, make sure you take an approach that best fits the person in your life who is struggling right now. So, feel free to customize the blanket phrases we’ve given you to suit your circumstances. You know… So you don’t end up resorting to this. ⬇

What Is Introspection? Everything You Need to Know

You know that little voice in your head that’s always screaming at you when something in your life is just not it? Usually, we drown that shit out and just keep going on our merry way. But a little thing called introspection is allll about engaging in those thoughts and actively listening to them! Right now you may be thinking “What even is introspection?” and we’re here to give you that answer, along with some tools to start practicing it. So get ready to take a deep dive into your thoughts and feelings, ‘cause we’re about to help you get at that beautiful self-knowledge!

What Is Introspection in Psychology?

Introspection is basically a method of examining or observing your mental and emotional processes. You may have heard people call it “heart-searching,” “soul-searching,” or “self-analysis,” but it’s all pretty much the same thing! And, psychotherapist Dr. Courtney Tracy gives us a spot-on definition in a recent episode of the Truth Doctor Podcast.

“Introspection is about finding yourself, learning about yourself, and realizing that what you’re looking for when you’re introspecting — what you’re looking for when you’re soul-searching — is insight,” she says. “You want to gain insight into yourself. Into your thoughts, your body, your emotions, the situation that you find yourself in, things that have happened in your past, things that you want to have happen in your future.”

How to Practice Introspection

If you’re still wondering “How do I even practice introspection?” we’ve got you covered — the BIGGEST thing is asking questions! Ask yourself questions about your past, your present, your future, about your personality and your choices, and about how you are truly feeling. Ask yourself those questions and really take some time to sit with the answers. What do they mean? Is that what you want for yourself? How can you make it better?

“Figure out who you are beneath the distraction of your external world. And also, who you are beneath the distraction of the cognitive systems that you’ve created in your mind,” explains Dr. Tracy. “These thought processes that get you through the day, from the moment that you wake up until the moment that you go to sleep. Figure out what your body is telling you.”

After figuring out what your body is telling you comes the importance of listening to it. You have to truly believe in the solution that you’ve come up with for yourself, and be positive and motivating towards yourself while you find that path! Let’s look at how to do that.

Different Forms of Introspection

When you’re trying to practice introspection, it’s important to stay away from self-rumination. But that’s easier said than done, because constantly thinking about your thoughts, your emotions and your memories can be difficult if you struggle with depression and negative self-talk! You’re stuck on the thing you want to change and can’t see the end of the road. Introspection is about self-reflection — you’re actively looking for a solution to your problems and striving for ways to get there, while treating yourself with compassion and leaving the judgement behind!

It can be practiced through mindfulness, or other types of meditation, which help you focus on the present moment through breathing or connecting with your senses. You can also choose to write it all down and reflect through journaling! A mental health professional can also help guide you through the process, especially if negative feelings tend to come up for you. However you find your way there, that self-awareness will help you get in touch with your inner self and help you live the life that you really want to live.

Some benefits of self-introspection are:

Learning more about yourself, what you do well and what you want to improve.
Recognizing different challenges and being able to manage your reactions to them.
Finding gratitude for what you’ve been through and the situation you are currently in.

Journaling Prompts

If you’re having a bit of trouble getting started, that’s totally okay! Dr. Tracy brainstormed a few journaling prompts that can get those introspective juices flowing and help you think about the things that make you feel at your best. So, pull out a pen and a piece of paper and get to introspecting, baby!

Tell us the story of your day, without describing your thoughts or your feelings, just using your body sensations.

I am most calm when _______.

What am I holding onto that is no longer serving me?

How am I?

“I hope that someone takes the opportunity to ask you how you’re doing and actually listens,” adds Dr. Tracy. “And to take that a step further, I wonder if you realize that you can be that person. You can ask yourself how you’re doing and you can listen to the answer.”

To learn more about introspection, listen to the “No B.S. Break Down: Introspection” episode of the Truth Doctor Podcast!

What Are the 4 Stages of the Cycle of Abuse?

If you need to exit this page quickly, click here to open a Google search for “weather.” This will not erase your browser history.

Chances are, you have experienced an abusive relationship at least once in your life. And if not yourself, then someone in your circle definitely has. In fact, the National Domestic Violence Hotline says more than 1 in 4 people in the U.S. will experience some form of abuse from an intimate partner! We can all agree that number is WAY too freakin’ high, right? But unfortunately, abuse is also present in family relationships, friendships and working relationships.

If you’re in this situation it’s common to not even realize how bad it all is. This is because of something known as the cycle of abuse. So, let’s figure out what that entails and why soooo many folks get sucked into those toxic patterns without even fully understanding them!

Types of Abuse

There are 5 main types of abuse in a personal relationship and all of them are HELLA shitty. They make you fear for your safety and cause you to walk on eggshells for fear of doing something to make the abuser act out in these ways (even though it’s totally not your fault)!

Here are some examples of how each of them shows up:

Physical Abuse: any intentional physical injury; like hitting, pushing, kicking, etc.
Emotional Abuse: constant arguing or opposition; such as jealousy and possessiveness.
Verbal Abuse: saying things that decrease your self-confidence and make you feel helpless.
Sexual Abuse: being taken advantage of through forceful and unwanted sexual contact.
Psychological Abuse: things like gaslighting used to manipulate and distort your thoughts.

And all of these are scary to have to deal with.

If you need to exit this page quickly, click here to open a Google search for “weather.” This will not erase your browser history.

What Is the Cycle of Abuse?

When those types of abuse spin into a repeating pattern of high highs and very low lows, that’s when it turns into a cycle of abuse. There are 4 stages, and they cause the victim to become isolated from their friends and family, be in denial about how dangerous their abuser truly is and suppress their true selves in order to be a “better” person that won’t arouse a negative reaction! Think Daisy and Tom from The Great Gatsby — he was constantly isolating her and somehow kept her locked in the relationship, even though she knew deep down that she was unhappy.

“In all relationships that are abusive — no matter what kind of relationship it is — you have this tension building. And, then there’s the event that happens and then there’s the ‘I’m sorry’ reconciliation phase, and then it goes to the honeymoon phase,” explains therapist Micheline Maloouf in an episode of the Anxious Like You podcast.

Let’s take a deeper look at how each of those 4 phases looks!

1. Tension Building

Outside stressors, like work or money problems, cause the abuser to feel aggravated and powerless — so they start taking out little frustrations on you, the victim, through anger or paranoia. And because of that, you try to cater to their every need and become suuuper cautious of rubbing them the wrong way! Until, eventually, that tension boils over and leads the abuser to act out.

2. Abusive Incident

By ‘act out,’ we mean the abuser follows through on one or more types of abuse to hurt you — and it’s never accidental! For example, Tom severely bruising Daisy’s finger (which is really only possible through intense force). The abuse may happen once or multiple times during this phase, along with repeated threats, insults, manipulation and intimidation which cause you to think it was your fault! And it totally wasn’t, that’s just what the abuser WANTS you to think.

3. Reconciliation

During this phase, the abuser will admit that their actions were wrong and basically promise to make it alright again. But, it’s a trap!!! It’s usually just another manipulation using mind games. And, very rarely do they actually improve their behaviour.

4. Calm

The “I’m sorry” phase is followed by calm…or should we say the calm before the storm? Essentially, you feel almost safe again because things have actually been okay for a while! Maybe you’ve even started being all friendly again and almost convinced yourself that things are back to normal (that the abuse was just a little slip-up). Until, sooner or later, that tension phase begins all over again!

“That’s why people stay in relationships that are abusive for such a long time, because they see the honeymoon and the love-bombing and they’re like, ‘Oh, things are changing, things are getting good,’” adds Micheline. “And then you’re back down and you’re kinda fucked in the head cause you’re like, ‘What the hell just happened?’”

If you need to exit this page quickly, click here to open a Google search for “weather.” This will not erase your browser history.

How to Break the Cycle of Abuse

Breaking that cycle of abuse can be really, really difficult. It’s so easy to fall into that routine of suffering and keeping yourself going by remembering the light at the end of the tunnel that is the honeymoon phase. And, more often than not, you start making excuses for why to stay!

“You know you feel bad in it…don’t know why…and can’t really put a finger on it. You look at other bad relationships and you’re thinking, ‘Well, at least it’s not like that, I have it really good here,’” explains Micheline. “And then you leave, and you realize that you have all of this emotional pain.”

Leaving is the hard part. It feels like there’s no way out or like you’re trapped, and acknowledging the fact that someone (who is supposed to love you) is hurting you can feel like the most difficult thing in the world. But we’ve got some tips (in no particular order) to help you start working towards an out.

1. Keep Records

Write down, or take screenshots of, everything your abuser has said or done to you. Take pictures of injuries or damage (like a hole they punched in the wall).

2. Don’t React in the Moment

An emotional reaction is exactly what they’re fishing for and will only gas them up more. (Reacting and expressing yourself later, when you are safe, is 1000% valid!)

3. Find a Support System

Friends and family may be able to help you gather the strength to leave. If you don’t have someone to help you, find a local domestic violence organization that can help counsel you, find you protected housing (if needed) and help you find more resources (mental health professionals, law enforcement, etc.).

If you need to exit this page quickly, click here to open a Google search for “weather.” This will not erase your browser history.

How to Heal From Emotional Abuse

Once you’ve finally broken free from the chains of abuse, everything will feel reeaallly weird at first. You may even begin recognizing your old self again because you’re no longer trying to appease the needs of someone else every minute of your life! But those old patterns can still follow you through future relationships, even if your new partner is nothing but healthy and supportive. And this can even last for years without the help of professionals.

Talking out your trauma with a mental health professional can be very beneficial in healing those wounds! It will take time and patience, but it will help you come to terms with your emotions and help you spot those red flags if they ever come up in the future.

If you’re experiencing abuse in your relationship and feel you are in danger, you can call domestic violence hotlines at 1-604-875-0885 (Canada) and 1-800-799-7233 (United States).

For more information on the cycle of abuse, tune into the Anxious Like You podcast episode titled “Recognizing Abuse with Olympian Laurie Hernandez.”

Here are some tips to minimize the risk of someone knowing that you’re researching domestic abuse-related topics (via Tech Safety):

If you think your devices or internet search activities are being monitored, access this information from a device that isn’t being monitored. That should be a device that the person does not or has not had physical or remote access. This is the safest thing to do if you don’t want someone to know that you are visiting these websites.
Sign out of other accounts, such as Google or Facebook, before visiting these sites.
Use your internet browser settings to increase your privacy, such as turning off browsing history or using the browser in-private mode.
If it is safe to do so, delete the websites URLs that you don’t want stored from the browser history.
Use a Virtual Private Network (VPN) to increase the security of your internet browsing and activity.

If you need to exit this page quickly, click here to open a Google search for “weather.” This will not erase your browser history.

10 Ways to Deal with Repetitive Thoughts and Rumination

Have you ever had a super negative thought you just couldn’t shake from your mind? It keeps playing over…and over…and over again on a loop. Like when the same line of a song is stuck in your head, only sooo much worse. These are the kinda repetitive thoughts we DON’T want because they make us feel so fucking awful. But, no matter how much you don’t want to think about this nasty thought, you just can’t stop! The thought is still there and it’s starting to weigh you down like an anchor. You’re not sure what it means…or how you can end this cycle for good!

What Is Rumination?

This not-so-fun cycle of thoughts is called rumination. Basically, they’re repetitive thoughts that our minds can’t seem to stop obsessing over. Unfortunately, they can be ROUGH for our mental well-being. You might call them racing thoughts, or feel like you’re always in your own head. Maybe you consider yourself an over-thinker (we feel that). Or maybe you lay awake all night long ‘cause you just can’t seem to switch your brain off. Those thoughts could be about your grades, your performance at work, or a big conversation you had (like during a breakup). Whatever they’re about, ruminating thoughts just don’t let up that easy!

Whyyy does this obsessive rumination even happen? Great question. Ruminating thoughts can happen for all kinds of reasons — and none of ‘em are a good time. If you’re stressed out or have something stressful coming up, you might start to have rumination thoughts. Or, if you have low self-esteem or struggle with perfectionism, these thoughts might sound like you’re repeatedly telling yourself that you’re not good enough (to the point where you start to actually believe it). Other times, trauma or fear can ignite obsessive rumination…like reliving a car crash in your mind or constantly thinking about some embarrassing thing you said five years ago (*shudder*).

We all ruminate. A lot of the time, it’s really NBD. Most rumination is temporary and we’re able to think about something for a while but move on after that. When you CAN’T get past a thought and it starts to affect your ability to concentrate, your daily tasks, or the ability to feel any positive emotions…yaaa, that’s when rumination becomes a much bigger problem.

Rumination and Mental Health

Ruminating thoughts are pretty commonly linked to mental health conditions, but sometimes in different ways. Rumination can show up for you if you have one or more of the following disorders.

– Anxiety. If you have anxiety, you’re probs no stranger to rumination. You might have constant thoughts about what could go wrong, or constantly feel like something bad is going to happen. So, even if you’ve prepared and studied your butt off for a big exam that’s coming up, you still might ruminate over the thought of failing. So fun, right?!

– Depression. When you’re depressed, ruminating thoughts can look like putting yourself down and having an ultra negative outlook of yourself or your life. You might tell yourself that you’re not good enough or that things will never look up for you, and those thoughts are on repeat in your mind. Even though you wanna escape those thoughts they’re all you think about and it just heightens alllll of those nasty feelings that come with depression. Giving this a 0/10 (we hate it so much).

– Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). For someone with OCD, intrusive thoughts are super common and can often be pretty overwhelming. In fact, there’s even a nickname for it — Pure O — which stands for Pure Obsessions. These thoughts could be about harming yourself or someone else, icky thoughts about doing something gross or disturbing, fixating on religious beliefs or morals, or even existential fears. Even though these are thoughts you don’t actually want to act on, they can cause a TON of distress because they won’t go away.

These are the more extreme cases of rumination and they’ll require extra help from a professional, like a doctor or licensed therapist, to work through. If these ruminating thoughts are ongoing for you and they’re starting to affect your quality of life, we highlyyy recommend seeking the help you need!

As for the typical, short-term rumination that’s still a huuuge pain to deal with, we’ve got ya covered. Let’s take a look at some coping strategies, shall we?

10 Ways to Cope with Rumination

Try out some of these coping strategies for yourself and notice how those unwanted thoughts go POOF and disappear in a cloud of smoke, just like magic! Well…maybe not in a cloud of smoke, but you get the idea. Anyways, try some of these (or all of ‘em, why not?) to deal with your unwanted, no-good, repetitive thoughts!

1. Identify Your Triggers

If you experience those same ruminating thoughts, then maybe you have at least some idea of what your triggers are. So, take notice of what those triggers are for you and try to change things up where needed! Like, if you ruminate over the effects of climate change because you have eco-anxiety, maaaybe it’s best not to doomscroll climate-related articles that upset you. Or, if you struggle with your body image, unfollow accounts on social media that make you feel bad about your body and ignite those thoughts of low self-worth. Protect your mental wellbeing as much as you can!

2. Challenge Negative Thoughts

When those intrusive thoughts do pop up outta nowhere (as they alwaysss do), pause for a sec. Ask yourself, are these thoughts realistic? Are they helpful? Or, are they just downright harmful to that sweet, fragile brain of yours? Are you thinking about this non-stop to solve something, or is it something you can’t actually control? Picking those thoughts apart can show you just how little sense they actually make, and make them seem wayyy less important or scary than they really are!

3. Set Limits

Those negative thoughts can be a total pain (plus they make you feel really sad). So when the rumination starts, set a limit for yourself for how long you’ll allow these thoughts to happen. Set a timer in your phone for 5 minutes and when it’s up say out loud to yourself “DONE!” Try to trick your brain into believing you just don’t have any more time for those negative thoughts. Or, if you’re venting to a friend about these negative thoughts, tell them that you just wanna get it off your chest for just a few minutes and no more. After that, time is UP and you’re gonna move TF on.

4. Find a Distraction

One of the best things you can do when these intrusive thoughts are in the way? Find a positive distraction to take your mind off the rumination! Watch one of your fave funny shows or that new doc series on Netflix you’ve been meaning to check out. Go for a walk if the sun is shining (or even if it’s raining, that can be nice too!). Get all cozied up on the couch and read the next book on your TBR pile. You can paint, do a puzzle, water your plants…literally anyyy activity that shifts your focus away from the intrusive thoughts that are bothering you.

5. Talk It Out

This probs sounds like the opposite of distracting yourself, and it kinda is. But sometimes a vent sesh can make all the difference! So hit up your friend when you need to work through these repetitive thoughts. Explain what these thoughts look like for you and how they make you feel. Your friend can help support you and break apart those ruminating thoughts to show you that everything is actually gonna be okay. Chances are, you’ll feel sooo much better after getting it off your chest! You don’t have to hold everything inside, okay? Okay, good.

6. Meditate

Meditation is helpful for oh-so-many reasons. For starters, it allows you to take a moment of pause and take deeeep breaths (which lowers feelings of anxiety, if ya didn’t know). It can help you feel more grounded and draw awareness to things outside of your mind, like the feeling of your clothes on your skin. If you’ve never tried meditation before, it’s all good! There are plenty of free videos to follow along with on YouTube, and guided meditations on your fave music platform. It draws you into the present moment and helps ease the anxiety or stress you’re feeling from those ruminating thoughts!

7. Practice Self-Care

Self-care all day, every day baby! Ok, maybe not ALL day (although how amazing would that be?!) but you should 100% include some self-care into your daily routine. Especially when you’re experiencing a ton of rumination, ‘cause those thoughts will bring you down faster than you can even SAY the word ‘rumination’! Since these repetitive thoughts tend to happen the most when we’re stressed, anxious or overwhelmed, then it’s safe to say that you could use some self-care. Take regular breaks and make time for yourself by doing the things that make you happy and feel 100x more at ease — it matters!

8. Use Positive Affirmations

Repetitive thoughts that are negative and make you feel like shit? Nope, we hate to see it. Whenever they show up and try to ruin your day, use some positive affirmations! The great thing about affirmations is that you get to make them up yourself, and tailor them to the situation you’re in or how you’re feeling. Here are some examples to give you a better idea. I’m focused on enjoying the present. My past mistakes don’t define who I am. I look forward to the future. I choose to show myself love and compassion because I deserve it. Give ‘em a go!

9. Journal

We love love love journaling here at DiveThru. If you haven’t tried journaling since middle school (when your goober little brother stole your diary), that’s okay! It’s never too late to start. Get a cute journal, grab your smooooothest pen and jot down the ruminating thoughts you’ve been having. Writing down how you’re feeling can be so helpful when you need to sort through your thoughts and start to understand where they’re coming from (so you can better control them in the future). What do my ruminating thoughts sound like? How often do I experience these thoughts? How do they make me feel? Unpack it all!

10. Talk to a Therapist

As we said, we all ruminate from time to time. It’s a normal thing to deal with so no, you’re not totally weird if this happens to you. WE PROMISE! But, if you DO notice your ruminating thoughts don’t seem to let up no matter what you do, definitely consider talking to a therapist to work through it. Therapy can be really helpful in showing you why these thoughts are ongoing for you and finding the source of these repetitive thoughts. It could be from a mental health condition or something traumatic that happened to you in the past. Your therapist will find the right treatment plan for you and help you cope in healthy ways. You’re never alone!

Dealing with rumination can be suuuch a struggle, but you can get through it! We hope some of these tips help you get through them and help you feel ready to take them on whenever they show up. You’ve got this, friend!

7 Top Mental Health Podcasts for 2023

If you didn’t know, there are some amazing podcasts out there that are all about our favourite topic — MENTAL HEALTH! We know how difficult it can be to access resources to help improve your mental wellbeing. Therapy isn’t cheap! That’s why we’re so in love with these podcasts! They help you understand what’s going on in your sweet baby brain! Now, put on your headphones and start binge-listening to these mental health podcasts ASAP. (You can thank us later!)

Drop In with Dr. J

Drop In with Dr. J is hosted by none other than Dr. Justin Puder! Dr. Puder is a licensed mental health professional AND the internet’s favourite therapist. As voted by us but we’re pretty sure everyone agrees!

He’s here to help listeners understand their own minds and mental health by diving in and uncovering all we need to know about trauma, anxiety, burnout, relationships, and more! Our minds are blown LITERALLY every episode!

Dr. J just wants to create a safe safe where open, authentic conversations about all things mental health can take place. Him and his guests talk about not only the neuroscience behind mental health challenges but also share personal experiences that demonstrate vulnerability.

Education AND a podcast that’s fun to listen to? Who could want anything more?!

Download the latest episode here!

Happy as a Mother

Parenting is hard! Okay, that’s a bit of a gigantic understatement! Parenting is fucking DIFFICULT! Every day, moms face questions like: How can I cope with the load of motherhood? How can I raise good humans when I’m just trying to survive? And the biggest question of all: how can I redefine myself after going through the metamorphosis of motherhood? Oof, that’s a lot of heavy shit!

On Happy as a Mother, host and psychotherapist Erica Djossa gives listeners the techniques and strategies to help cope with the psychological and emotional load of motherhood. Erica is here to help guide listeners on a journey of self-love and acceptance, and answers the tough parenting questions you’re afraid to ask.

And to put the cherry on top, Erica shares the best-kept secrets of the therapy world by providing knowledge and education that puts you in the driver’s seat of your emotional and psychological well-being to empower your motherhood journey!

Download the latest episode here!

The Mindful Kind

Mindfulness has been found to be an effective technique in managing mental health stresses, but it can be a hard technique to employ if you don’t know what the heck it even is! The Mindful Kind, hosted by Rachael Kable, shares exciting insights into mindfulness journeys and provides listeners with simple and effective practices to incorporate into their own lives.

With The Mindful Kind, you will have weekly access to new ideas, personal experiences and practical mindfulness exercises! We love it! Are you listening to it now and learning? Yes? Great!

Download the latest episode here!

Not Your Basic Influencers

What comes to mind when you think of influencers? Instagram? Social media? Well, you’d be right! But that’s not what these ladies are here to talk about!

Not Your Basic Influencers is hosted by Leah & Elyce — two (kinda) basic women and licensed mental health professionals! They’re here to influence you on the things that really matter. It’s defs not one of your standard mental health podcasts. In each episode, they have super relatable and incredibly real conversations about mental health, well-being…and basically what it means to be human!

Download the latest episode here!

Women & ADHD

More and more women are finding out that they have ADHD later in life — finally getting an answer after decades of hard work and tons of questions. Katy Weber was one of those women and her diagnosis turned her life upside down! That’s why she started the podcast Women & ADHD!

Each week, Katy interviews other women who discovered they have ADHD in adulthood and are finally feeling like they understand who they are and how to best lean into their strengths, both professionally and personally.

We can’t recommend this podcast highly enough! We think that you’d love it even if you don’t have ADHD. Katy and her guests share so much incredible information and education that help women understand themselves and their minds on a deeper level than ever before!

Download the latest episode here!

Psych Talk

Knowledge is power, right? Well, get ready to become incredibly powerful because Psych Talk is about to fill your mind with all the mental health information you’ve ever wanted to know!

The host of Psych Talk, Dr. Jessica Leigh, is dedicated to motivating, inspiring and educating listeners on everything related to psychology and self-growth! This podcast is for literally everyone!

It doesn’t matter if you’re a mental health professional, a student in the social science field, are just interested in psychology, or are looking to gain skills to grow into the best version of yourself. Psych Talk will provide you with knowledge and skills that you can implement in your daily life that add up to make a big impact!

Download the latest episode here!

And there you have it! What a good looking list this is! We may or may not be wanting to learn more about ourselves and are catching up on all the mental health podcasts in our network at this very moment! Does that make this article meta? Or is it inception?? We don’t know. All we DO know is that you’re going to learn so much and will thoroughly enjoy listening to these shows! Yaaaa we might be biased but we feel super confident in saying that these shows are some of the best podcasts out there!

Validating Your Bisexuality: Understanding & Accepting Yourself

Well, hello there! Are you looking for confirmation that you’re bisexual and needing some ways to validate it? Well, look no further!

It can be hard to identify, and feel valid in, your bisexuality for a number of reasons. Maybe you’ve only been with people of the opposite gender, maybe you’ve never had bisexual experiences (or any sexual experiences) before, or maybe you’ve been told “it’s just a phase” so much that you doubt yourself! Why is it SO easy to accept someone else’s queerness…but when it comes to understanding bisexuality for yourself, it’s so damn hard?!

Well…there are a few reasons. So, let’s dive into all of them so that you can better understand why accepting your bisexuality can be difficult, and how to feel valid in your identity.

What Is Bisexuality?

Quick overview! Bisexuality is the sexual attraction to both cis men and cis women. As a bisexual person, you might also be romanticly attracted to both and consider this to be under the umbrella of ‘bisexual,’ while some prefer to classify this separately as biromantic (it’s all about whatever feels right to you!). For the purpose of this article, we’re going to refer to bisexuality as both sexual and romantic attractions.

It can be incredibly difficult when you’re wondering how to explore bisexuality for yourself. And, how to explain bisexuality to your loved ones and friends (if you choose to come out). Plus, if you’ve only ever been in heterosexual relationships (casual or committed) then determining and accepting your bisexuality can be even harder — for yourself AND others.

Questioning your sexuality is a big challenge to face and bisexual people have a slightly different kind of battle in this realm. (We also know all too well how real the struggle to feel valid can be!)

Why Is Bisexuality Not Accepted Sometimes?

First, some bisexuals don’t feel like there is a place for them in the Queer Community. Gays and Lesbians sometimes exist in a sexual world of certainties and black and white. You’re either gay or you’re not. It’s that simple, right? Wrong! Bisexuals are sometimes told that they’ve “turned straight,” “come with baggage,” or “don’t know what they want,” by others in the Queer Community. So, even though we’re part of the acronym, we’re not deemed as legit by others in the community.

And, if you’ve only been in hetero relationships thus far, then there are the people who question how you can even know that your bi. And this can extend to your own thinking too! It’s hard to remember when people project their opinions onto you that your sexual identity is still valid.

There are also some people that hear you when you tell them you’re bisexual, but seem to think that you can simply choose to focus on finding an opposite-sex partner (You wanna have kids, don’t you? Yes, Karen. And, guess what, I can have kids in ANY relationship!).

All of this bi-erasure and biphobia can leave you doubting whether you’re “gay enough” to identify as bi. You don’t want to occupy a space (the LGBTQIA2S+ space) that doesn’t belong to you, so you hesitate to declare yourself until you are 1000% sure. But regardless of what anyone says, if being bisexual feels right to you, that’s all that matters. Remember, dating someone of the opposite gender doesn’t automatically make you straight!

What You Can Do To Feel Valid

Now that we’ve covered the not-so-fun stuff, let’s talk about how you can find validation for your bi-ness within yourself, within a community…and in other ways you might not have even thought of before! Ready? Let’s dive in.

1. Connect with Other Bi People

It can so easily feel like your experience with bisexuality isn’t like anyone else’s. So many people around you (and in the media) are out, proud and accepted by the people around them. But, once you start looking, you’ll be surprised how many people have felt the EXACT same way that you do.

2. Dress However You Like

Have you curated your style to look feminine “enough” or masculine “enough” to avoid any questions or assumptions about your sexuality? Well, try out something a little different. If you love the boxy blazer look but have been too uneasy to try it…now is the time to try it! We’re not going to delve into the stereotypes here (because that does no one any good), but you know what you’ve avoided and want to try. So, do it. We swear it’s so validating!

3. Ask Yourself If the Label Feels Right

If the label feels like it matches who you are then it’s the label that you’re meant to have at this moment. Sexuality is a spectrum and it’s totally normal for it to change and develop as you do! So if pansexual feels more accurate down the line, that’s okay too! And if you’re worried that you’re actually just straight and are inserting yourself into conversations and communities that aren’t meant for you — remember, most straight people don’t question if they’re straight. It’s just a given for them. So, if you’re questioning if you’re bi enough to be bisexual, you prooooobably are. 😉

It’s also okay for your definition of bisexuality to change over time. If being bi used to mean only dating men and women, but has moved to include people of all genders, you can still be bi! Bisexuality can mean that you are attracted to people that identify closely to how you identify with your gender, and then you can be attracted to those that don’t – thus making a new binary for yourself that isn’t gender exclusive!

4. Read About It

Okay, so you’re already doing this right now (hi), but if you look up stories and personal accounts of people searching for bisexuality validation, you’ll find a lot of people who have gone — or are going through — a similar experience to you. If you don’t feel like you have the guts JUST yet to reach out and talk to others about your experiences, reading about how others feel, or felt, can also be reassuring and validating!

5. Come Out in Small Ways

You don’t have to have a whole party dedicated to your coming out (unless you want one!). And, you don’t have to tell anyone you don’t want to! You can do whatever you want and what feels the most comfortable for you. This might mean incorporating the bi flag into your bitmoji character. Or, maybe simply checking “yes” on a survey that asks if you’re part of the LGBTQIA2S+ community. Give yourself these small ways of validating your emotions and attractions! The more you do this, the more sure and confident you will become with yourself and your sexuality.

We hope that this article has at least given you some bi-deas (get it? Like ideas but we made it bi-themed) on how to feel comfortable and confident claiming the label of bisexuality! We know that it’s not easy to figure out who you are and where you fit. Know that we see you, we love you, and YOU are SO valid!

17 Feel Good Movies To Watch When Bored

Hello there! Yeah, you! You probably clicked this article ‘cause you’re looking for some of the BEST feel good movies that you can just rewatch over and over again. There’s nothing like cuddling up with fuzzy blankets and a glass of wine (and maybe some chicken nugs) and watching a movie that you know will bring on alllll the good vibes!

So, whether you’re looking for feel good movies on Netflix, feel good movies on Amazon Prime, on Crave, or on Disney Plus, we’ve got you covered! No more clicking through countless things you don’t wanna watch on a Saturday night, ‘cause here are the 17 TOP feel good movies to watch when bored.

1. 10 Things I Hate About You

If heartwarming movies are what you’re going for, 10 Things I Hate About You has exactly 10 reasons for it to be your pick! Bianca represents all of us who say we’re “so over dating,” until a Heath Ledger type swoops in and convinces us otherwise. Through some proclamations of love from the bleachers with a touch of heartbreak, this movie leaves us all wanting to find someone to have 10 reasons for!

2. Mamma Mia

ABBA, beautiful Grecian beaches, AND Meryl Streep?? Come on, nothing gets better than that! Mamma Mia is one of those happy movies we always go back to for an evening spent jamming out to some ‘70s bops. It never gets old! Plus, there’s ALSO a second movie, so you can get a whole other spin on that beautiful story and sing your heart out some more.

3. The Parent Trap

We looove a classic twin swap, and The Parent Trap does it perfectly (we mean the Lindsay Lohan one, unless Hayley Mills is more your jam — then all the power to you!). Isn’t it just sooo fun watching actors play two people at once? And, absolutely fooling everyone around them while doing so? Talk about dramatic irony, and we live for it!!

4. The Princess Bride

Looking for pirates, royalty and André the Giant all rolled into one movie? Well, The Princess Bride has you covered. Westley and Buttercup are the definition of unconditional love! Even after he joins a pirate ship and she gets engaged to a major a-hole, they still find their way back to each other. But let’s be real…it’s Inigo Montoya who steals the show by finally getting revenge for the death of his father!

5. The Breakfast Club

If you’ve ever been in detention, you’ve probably realized it’s nothing like The Breakfast Club. It should pretty much be illegal to be locked up at school on a Saturday. But that doesn’t take away from this incredible story of 5 misfits who become friends by spending a whole day together! A strict principal, one awkward dance sequence and some weird talents later, and everyone has learned a LOT about themselves. With a killer soundtrack to boot, we’re not gonna be forgetting the date March 24th anytime soon!

6. Crazy, Stupid, Love

None of us probably ever thought Ryan Gosling and Steve Carell would make a good pair, but then came Crazy, Stupid, Love! We may not totally relate to Cal’s mid-life crisis after his wife asks for a divorce, but it’s hilarious watching a much younger Jacob try to help him change his ways (velcro wallet and all). Of course, the “other man” and “best friend dating my daughter” tropes make it all even more interesting, and it somehow gets funnier every time we watch it!

7. Crazy Rich Asians

Crazy Rich Asians is the movie that literally changed Hollywood. Hello, Asian representation! While the movie has been criticized for only showing the highest of classes, many in the Asian community support the film for the change it signals within the major motion picture industry. With a ground-breaking all-Asian cast, tons of luxurious scenes filmed throughout Asia and a beautiful love story — plus, Awkwafina AND Ken Jeong! — this movie is sure to steal your heart and make you want to head to Singapore immediately!

8. The Princess Diaries

If you’ve got room for 2 feel good movies in one night, then The Princess Diaries (and the sequel!) is the way to go! We loooove watching Mia Thermopolis awkwardly stumble along princesshood, with her beautiful grandmother (a.k.a. our queen, Julie Andrews) trying her best to not make Genovia look bad. Mix in some cringey foot pops and one hell of a royal makeover, and you’ve got yourself a great night. Oh, and it’s probably a good idea to catch up on these 2 flicks sooner rather than later, because it sounds like there’s a 3rd one on the way!

9. Drumline

Drumline, featuring a pre-Mariah Nick Cannon and early Zoe Saldana, is a classic rival-school tale keeps you laughing and dancing in your seat from start to finish. Cannon’s character, Devon, starts out only caring about playing in his college drumline, even when it means alienating himself against his bandmates. And, of course, there’s a little romance sprinkled in between the impressive music moments! Proving that marching to the beat of your own drum doesn’t have to be a lonely experience, Devon learns that you’re always stronger as a team.

10. 13 Going on 30

Sometimes we all feel like a 13-year-old trapped in a 30-year-old’s body who has NO clue what’s going on… but it kinda feels better watching Jennifer Garner do it, right? It’s a perfect example of how much we wanted to be adults when we’re young, and how much we want to go the fuck back once we’re older! How are we supposed to book a doctor’s appointment BY OURSELVES? For real though, 13 Going on 30 is such a cute love story about a girl finding her way back to her roots, and we love to see it!

11. Death at a Funeral

Released just 3 years after its British counterpart, the American version of Death At A Funeral takes you on a hilarious and WILD ride. (Seriously, we always put it on in the background and then end up watching the whole thing, end to end!) The INCREDIBLE cast — Chris Rock, Kevin Hart, Zoe Saldana, Luke Wilson, Danny Glover, Regina Hall, Peter Dinklage, James Marsden, Tracy Morgan and more — is loveable, funny and downright bizarre. You won’t be able to stop yourself from watching it over and over!

12. 50 First Dates

50 First Dates is the EPITOME of uplifting movies! A woman who has memory loss spends every single day thinking it’s October 13th, and she STILL manages to find love. Plus, it’s kinda nice to see Adam Sandler working his ass off to impress her in a new way each day! It’s a beautiful love story that seems impossible, yet we can’t HELP but watch it over and over again.

13. Clueless

We couldn’t choose just ONE Jane Austen story, ‘cause this one also takes the cake! We LIVE for Cher and her pals living their rich and fabulous high school lives in Clueless. The fits are fab, the driving is terrible and never-ageing Paul Rudd is the (mostly) supportive older stepbrother. So, are we ever gonna say no to rewatching this movie for the 37th time? Ugh, as if!

14. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

If you’re a fan of lighthearted movies, look no further than Ferris Bueller’s Day Off! Ferris pulls off what we all wish we could’ve in high school and plays hooky for the day…AND gets away with it. We can alllll relate to his super anxious bestie, Cameron, who he somehow convinces to tag along! After breaking his girlfriend out of school, partaking in a parade and many more crazy antics, Ferris still escapes unscathed — despite a jealous sister and a principal hell-bent on catching him. A great movie that lets you live vicariously through a high-schooler that does all the crazy things you only wish you could’ve done!

15. Pitch Perfect

If you’re looking for an acca-awesome movie filled with singing, dancing and a LOT of laughs, then Pitch Perfect is the one for you! Not only that, but you get to witness some super awkward romance, mermaid dancing,AND horizontal running — all the things you never knew you needed! Plus, we LOVE that we get some lesbian representation in this movie. And, there are 2 more in the series if you’re feeling like a marathon!

16. Legally Blonde

Did someone say #GIRLPOWER? That’s what Legally Blonde is alllll about! Elle Woods teaches her shitty boyfriend a lesson and looks pretty in pink while doing it. Everyone told her she couldn’t get into Harvard Law School, but SHE. DID. THAT. Plus, we get some Jennifer Coolidge action and we’re never gonna say no to a classic bend and snap dance sequence!

17. Bridesmaids

Last, but certainly not least, Bridesmaids gives you some stupid laughs mixed with the harsh realities of friendship! Considering the two main actors were on Saturday Night Live, of course they’re gonna be serving us some comedy. Mix in some Melissa McCarthy and you’re on the ground laughing. Of course, there’s also some not-so-nice jealousy with a dash of food poisoning, but our two main gals find their way back to each other and show what true friendship is all about!

Whether you’re looking for movies to watch when bored, for some nostalgia, or just a good ol’ fashioned rom-com to sob to, these 17 feel good movies will do the trick! So, get your popcorn ready and have fun watching (and rewatching).

15 Heart-Wrenching Movies to Cry to When You’re in Your Feels

We’ve gotta say, there’s nothing quite like crying hard to sad movies when you’re feeling down in the dumps. Picture it: you’re lying on the couch in your comfiest sweatpants, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket like a cozy burrito. You have no plans because you don’t wanna interact with other humans (totes get it — they suck). You’re surfing through Netflix to find the perfect movie to watch. Only, you don’t know WHAT you feel like watching. All you know is that you wanna watch movies that will make you ugly cry so hard that you let out alllll those depresso feelings you’ve been holding inside. It’s time to unleash the TEARS.

Look no further, friend! We’ve got a list of some of the best movies to cry to when you have ALL the feels.

1. Up

There is such a thing as an animated movie to cry to. Don’t believe us? Up is about a grumpy old widower named Carl who decides to fulfill his late wife’s dream of travelling to South America. This one does NOT go easy on you! He ties balloons to his house to start his journey but realizes that Russell, a boy Scout, has crashed his trip. Even though there’s a happy ending (thanks, Disney!), the opening of this movie alone will have you sobbing uncontrollably. Raise your hand if you’ve ever been personally victimized by the first 10 minutes of Up. *raises hand*

2. The Last Song

You’ve got our girl Miley Cyrus starring in this romance so what more could you ask for, really? Miley plays Ronnie, an angsty teen who’s tough on the outside but has a heart of gold. When Ronnie and her little bro spend the summer with their dad, it takes some time for Ronnie to open up. But when she meets Will and they fall in love, her summer becomes pretty unforgettable. The Last Song is super sweet but the ending will have you grasping for tissues! (Anddd you’ll get a bonus cry just thinking about Miley’s and Liam’s big split — why can’t they just love each other?!)

3. My Sister’s Keeper

Ohh, you want tears? My Sister’s Keeper will give you buckets of ‘em! It’s one of THE ultimate movies to cry to. Anna is a young girl who was genetically engineered as an embryo to be a bone marrow transplant for her big sister with leukemia. Anna seeks the help of a lawyer to become medically emancipated from her parents and have full rights over her own body. This story is 13/10 heart-wrenching, so you’re gonna have a permanent ugly cry face throughout the whole movie. A little warning though, if you’re currently processing grief then you might want to skip this one (it’s pretty intense).

4. The Fault In Our Stars

“Okay?” “Okay.”

You’ll be everything BUT okay when you watch this absolute tearjerker. In The Fault In Our Stars, Hazel and Augustus are a pair of teenagers battling cancer who first meet at a support group. They have an instant connection and you’ll be whisked away in their love story! Keep a box of tissues nearby, though. There’s a high risk of hysterical crying in this teen romance.

5. Marley & Me

For all of you dog lovers out there (or any animal lover, really) Marley & Me is coming to tug on your heartstrings and make you ugly cry with zero shame. You’ll meet Marley, an energetic and naughty doggo who steals the heart of his new family and brings them closer together. Don’t worry, there’s plenty of uplifting moments that will make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside! Buuut, not every movie can have a happy ending. IFYKYK.

5. My Girl

If you saw this movie as a kid, there’s a 100% chance it wrecked you emotionally. Warning: My Girl is JUST as devastating to rewatch years later! Out of all the movies to cry to out there, this is one that feels so real because you really connect to the characters. Vada, a young girl who’s morbid as heck and feels confused about death, has sooo many highs and lows in this movie. There’s one scene that will defs stick with you, so prepare yourself for the waterworks!

6. The Farewell

The Farewell follows a Chinese family who tries to quickly throw together a wedding before their grandmother’s death. Sooo, if you’re super close to your grandma/gam-gam/granny/nana, expect those tears to fall like rain. It’s gonna bring up that heckin’ sad reality that none of us ever wanna face that grandparents don’t live forever. Trust us when we say, you’ll defs wanna give your grandparents a call after this one!

8. Me Before You

After losing her job, Louisa winds up working as a companion for Will in Me Before You. Will is paralyzed from the neck down after an accident, and Lou’s sunshine-and-rainbows demeanour starts to have a positive effect on Will’s cynical outlook on life. There are some tender moments that will melt your heart, but fair warning: some moments are absolutely heartbreaking! Okay, who’s chopping onions?!

9. Good Will Hunting

Leave it to the absolute legend Robin Williams to simultaneously bring a smile to your face AND make you sob uncontrollably. In Good Will Hunting, he plays Dr. Sean Maquire, a psychologist who supports math genius, Will Hunting, through an emotional crisis while helping him realize his potential. There won’t be a dry eye in your living room when you hear these tender words from our guy Robin, “It’s not your fault.” OOF, that line gets us every time!

10. The Notebook

Probably THE romance movie of all romance movies to cry to, but The Notebook still has sooo much more to offer than ooey-gooey feelings. This movie will set your heartbreak radar off the charts! Allie and Noah fall in love one summer before they’re torn apart by their totally opposite lives. The story is told by Duke, an elderly man who reads to dementia patient Ms. Hamilton from an old notebook (hmm, what could THAT mean?!). The ending is the definition of bittersweet, so you’ll be crying happy/sad tears before the credits roll!

11. The Pursuit of Happyness

Some of the best tearjerkers out there are alllll about family. In The Pursuit of Happyness, Will Smith plays a father who has fallen on incredibly hard times. His wife has just left him with full custody of their son (played by Will Smith’s real-life son, Jaden!), and he’s working as an unpaid intern at a brokerage firm. It’s based on a true story and, luckily, there IS a happy ending here. But, that doesn’t mean the bumps along the way are any easier! *reaches for the tissues*

12. About Time

This movie right here is an emotional rollercoaster. In About Time, Tim has the ability to travel to moments in the past. So epic, right?! He decides to use this gift to improve his love life and win the heart of a girl named Mary. But as his life goes on, Tim realizes that he can’t undo everyyy bad thing that happens without losing other parts of his life that he loves. There are some on-point but ultra-sad life lessons in this movie, so you’re guaranteed to ugly cry!

13. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

In Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Joel and Clementine go through a nasty breakup, and Joel later learns that Clementine had her memories of their relationship completely erased in a procedure. Joel then decides to undergo the same procedure, hoping that erasing the memories will take away his heartbreak. He re-lives the memories of their relationship as it’s erased, starting with their very last fight. You will be in your damn FEELS with this one!

14. The Perks of Being a Wallflower

The Perks of Being a Wallflower is about Charlie, an introvert and kind of a loner. He’s nervous to start high school and has been struggling to fit in since losing his best friend to suicide. Once he joins a carefree group of seniors who truly care for him, Charlie starts to learn more about himself and finally faces his past trauma. This coming-of-age movie will give you sooo many nostalgic feels about growing up and start those waterworks pronto, we promise!

15. Inside Out

We’ll finish the list off with another animated movie that’s fo sho gonna keep those tears flowin’, and that’s Inside Out. Inside young Riley’s mind, she’s got five core emotions that control how she feels and acts: Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear and Disgust. When her emotions become wayyy out of control, Riley starts to distance herself and can’t seem to cope with her new life. This story is not only touching, but it gives you a ton of insight into your own feelings! And we LOVE talking about our feelings here at DiveThru, so we give this pick 5 gold stars!