Month: February 2021

LGBTQ+ Celebrities Share Their Empowering Coming Out Stories

For a lot of people, coming out is a really big deal. At DiveThru, we’re here to support you on this journey! If you’re ready to come out, or have thought a lot about how you would do it, there’s probably been sooo many things running through your head. How will my friends and family react? Will it change my relationships with them? Will I be accepted for who I really am? It can make you feel alone, like nobody understands what you’re going through. But we’re here to tell you that’s not the case! And since you’ll have a hard time believing us, we’re going to do that through these other incredible people and some of their coming out stories!

It can be really helpful and inspiring to hear from our role models and their experiences. Just because they’re out and proud now, doesn’t mean it was always easy for them to own their sexuality! They all had to have that conversation with the people in their lives, too. And just like they have the LGBTQ+ community supporting them, so will you! So many others have been in your shoes. So definitely lean on that support system, whenever and however you decide to come out.

To show you’re not alone, we’ve put together some coming out stories from some of your favourite celebrity role models who have also been there.

Elliot Page

“Hi friends, I want to share with you that I am trans, my pronouns are he/they and my name is Elliot. I feel lucky to be writing this. To be here. To have arrived at this place in my life… I can’t begin to express how remarkable it feels to finally love who I am enough to pursue my authentic self. I’ve been endlessly inspired by so many in the trans community. Thank you for your courage, your generosity and ceaselessly working to make this world a more inclusive and compassionate place. I will offer whatever support I can and continue to strive for a more loving and equal society… 

To be clear, I am not trying to dampen a moment that is joyous and one that I celebrate, but I want to address the full picture. The statistics are staggering. The discrimination towards trans people is rife, insidious and cruel, resulting in horrific consequences…I love that I am trans. And I love that I am queer. And the more I hold myself close and fully embrace who I am, the more I dream, the more my heart grows and the more I thrive. To all trans people who deal with harassment, self-loathing, abuse and the threat of violence every day: I see you, I love you and I will do everything I can to change this world for the better.

Thank you for reading this. All my love, Elliot.”

 

Kristen Stewart

“The first time I ever dated a girl, I was immediately being asked if I was a lesbian. And it’s like, ‘God, I’m 21 years old.’ I felt like maybe there were things that have hurt people I’ve been with. Not because I felt ashamed of being openly gay but because I didn’t like giving myself to the public, in a way. It felt like such thievery. This was a period of time when I was sort of cagey. Even in my previous relationships, which were straight, we did everything we could to not be photographed doing things—things that would become not ours.

So I think the added pressure of representing a group of people, of representing queerness, wasn’t something I understood then. Only now can I see it. Retrospectively, I can tell you I have experience with this story. But back then I would have been like, ‘No, I’m fine. My parents are fine with it. Everything’s fine.’ That’s bullshit. It’s been hard. It’s been weird. And it’s that way for everyone.”

 

Dan Levy

“I think in the back of my mind, I knew that my parents were going to be accepting. I knew that deep down but there’s still that kind of fibre of adolescent doubt or even for adults there’s a level of doubt because you don’t know how people are going to respond. You’ve been almost conditioned through what you see in the media to be met with persecution of some kind. … You’re just trying to grapple with the reality that is slowly coming to you in little spurts.”

“Had I not had the love to give me a sense of security, I don’t know if I would have found my way out of the closet, let alone create the opportunity for myself to tell stories on television that have affected some kind of positive change in the world.”

 

Lizzo

“It means so much because the LGBTQ community has embraced me as one of their own. I felt like an ‘other’ for a very long time. I used to get teased for being gay because I was very curious and I would look at the girls’ makeup around me. And I remember being like, ‘I don’t care what people think about me.’ I was a bookworm, I liked anime, I dressed weird, I was in a band. Nobody liked me, and I just remember feeling so unwanted and unchosen, and I remember at one time feeling like I was asexual, because no one loved me, and I was so confused about myself and my identity for a long, long time.”

 

Harry Styles

“It’s not like I’m sitting on an answer, and protecting it, and holding it back. It’s not a case of, ‘I’m not telling you [because] I don’t want to tell you.’ It’s not, ‘Oh, this is mine and it’s not yours.’ It’s, ‘Who cares?’ Does that make sense? It’s just, ‘Who cares?’ … And more than that, I dunno, I just think sexuality’s something that’s fun. Honestly? I can’t say I’ve given it any more thought than that.”

 

Miley Cyrus

“My whole life, I didn’t understand my own gender and my own sexuality. I always hated the word “bisexual,” because that’s even putting me in a box. I don’t ever think about someone being a boy or someone being a girl. …  My eyes started opening in the fifth or sixth grade. My first relationship in my life was with a chick. I grew up in a very religious Southern family. The universe has always given me the power to know I’ll be OK. Even at that time, when my parents didn’t understand, I just felt that one day they are going to understand.”

 

Amandla Stenberg

“I love that we have this umbrella term of queer, and so many things can exist underneath it, but I realized that part of my journey was hiding underneath that umbrella, because I was scared—on a personal and a public level—to confront what I was. It was easier for me to say ‘I’m bi’ or ‘I’m pan’ as I was figuring it out. But I came to a place where I felt really proud of my sexuality, and I decided I wanted to share that pride.”

 

Demi Lovato

“It was actually emotional, but really beautiful. After everything was done I was shaking and crying and I just felt overwhelmed, but I have such incredible parents. They were so supportive. My dad was like, ‘Yeah, obviously.’ And I was like, ‘oh, okay dad. My mom was the one that I was super nervous about, but she was just like, ‘I just want you to be happy.’ That was so beautiful and amazing, and like I said, I’m so grateful.”

 

Brandon Flynn

“I came out to my family and my friends around 10 years ago. So even when the industry caught wind of me being bisexual or gay or whichever one they choose to go with, it didn’t feel like it was my own, and I think that’s a bit frustrating for me and that’s where I feel a bit judged that I didn’t get to do that nor did I really want to.

It didn’t seem that it would make a difference whether I came out or not because it’s just my life, and if people were watching my life, they would just know that. But it did feel like I had to come out — even though I didn’t ever come out to the public, in a weird way, I just one day read an article where I came out in the terms that they wanted me to come out.”

 

Lili Reinhart

“I was afraid of coming out. I didn’t want people to tell me that I was lying to get attention or something. And so I just kept my mouth shut. Also, I’ve told people in the past and they’ve told me, ‘Oh, it’s a phase.’ And I’m like, ‘Okay, great, thanks.’ So that’s discouraging, obviously. 

“I felt that since I’ve exclusively been in heteronormative relationships, it would be too easy for any outsider, especially the media, to vilify me and accuse me of ‘faking it’ to get attention. But to my close friends, and those in my life, my bisexuality has been no secret.”

 

 

Dakota Johnson

“I’ve been in a phase of my life where I’m fascinated by young women coming to terms with their sexuality. I guess, by proxy, I have been experiencing that in my own life, and it’s very interesting to me. … Can we make things really juicy? Can we say that I’m taking this time to explore my bisexuality?”

 

Lil Nas X

“It is something that I was considering never doing ever, like taking to the grave or something. But I was like, I don’t want to live my entire life – especially how I got to where I’m at – not doing what I want to do. I also feel like I’m opening more doors for people.”

 

Rebecca Black 

“To me, the word ‘queer’ feels really nice. I’ve dated a lot of different types of people, and I just don’t really know what the future holds. Some days I feel little more on the gay side than others.”

 

Halsey

“I spent the past year and the year before that working really hard to be a better representative of the LGBT community. I’m a young, bisexual woman, and I’ve spent a large part of my life trying to validate myself — to my friends, to my family, to myself — trying to prove that who I love and how I feel is not a phase. It’s not part of some confusion that’s going to change or could be manipulated. So I tried really hard to find the courage this year to write female pronouns into my music.”

We hope these coming out stories from some of the biggest stars will inspire you and make you feel less alone. How and when you decide to come out is totally up to you. And when you’re ready, just remember: we are rooting for you! 

Feeling Aware: A Guide to Your Emotions

Feeling aware? Hey, that’s pretty cool. You probably feel pretty perceptive to the things around you. Better yet, you may feel super in touch with your own thoughts and feelings! And that’s not always easy. It can be a struggle to understand our emotions and where they’re coming from. But right now, you might feel like you have a clear picture of what’s going on in the old noggin’.

Maybe you’re also feeling aware of the thoughts and feelings of other people, paying close attention to their body language and listening to what they’re saying. Someone might come to you with a problem, and you’re able to see things from their point of view. You can understand where their hurt, frustration, anger or sadness is coming from, and you also show them empathy. Becoming aware of your feelings and the feelings of other people can have great benefits to your relationships and help you form strong connections. Isn’t that what we all want?!

Becoming more aware of our emotions and having the tools to cope with them is pretty amazing. It never hurts to learn more about ourselves and what works for us! Let’s dive thru feeling emotionally aware and how it can improve your mental wellbeing!

A Deeper Look at Feeling Aware

First thing’s first, what does it really mean to be aware? APA Dictionary defines awareness as: “n. perception or knowledge of something.” 

Sooo, what does it mean to be aware of our emotions? Well, in psychology it’s known as emotional awareness or emotional intelligence. According to research, people who are emotionally intelligent have four components: the ability to perceive emotions (notice body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, etc.), reasoning with emotions (helps us prioritize what needs our attention), understanding emotions (interpreting the root cause of the emotion), and managing emotions (regulating and responding appropriately). We develop emotional intelligence over the span of our lives and can improve our relationships, our mental wellbeing and overall quality of life. Emotional intelligence is a skill that can be learned, but it does come easier for some. 

Obviously, some people have higher emotional intelligence than others. People with low emotional intelligence tend to get into arguments a lot, have poor listening skills, blame others for everything and are more prone to emotional outbursts. They also have poor coping skills for dealing with their emotions, either suppressing their feelings or walking away from the problem instead of resolving it. Hmm, we probably have run into someone like this a time or two. Okay, let’s be real… we’ve all been this person at some point. Emotions are hard, okay?! But there’s good news: anyone can learn emotional awareness. It can be challenging and take some time, but we 10/10 recommend learning as much as you can. It’ll do wonders for your mental wellbeing!

Emotional Intelligence IRL

Now, how can you use emotional awareness in your daily life?! We’re so glad you asked. Here’s a few simple ways to become more emotionally intelligent in real life:

– Practice active listening skills

– Show empathy to others

– Maintain personal boundaries

– Regulate your emotions before reacting

– Build your communication skills

These are just a few ways to become more emotionally aware, but there’s always much more to learn! Awareness starts with education, so try to build your knowledge as much as possible. There are tons of resources out there (including our lil’ website here at DiveThru) to guide you along as you learn more about emotions. We all gotta start somewhere, so don’t be intimated to start!

How Feeling Aware Shows Up Mentally

There are lots of ways feeling aware shows up mentally. Maybe you’re curious and want to understand more about your own feelings. Or you might want to strengthen your relationships and feel more connected to others. It could be that you want to find ways to cope with anxiety, depression or stress, and you believe that understanding where your emotions come from and how you react to different citations will be really beneficial. 

Now that we have a better sense of how awareness shows up, let’s look at how it improves our mental wellbeing. Being able to process our emotions and manage them can obviously improve our mental state, like a lot. The better we can predict our reactions and how something will potentially make us feel, the better we can find ways to control and cope. Emotional awareness can help manage many mental illnesses including:

– Depression

– Anxiety

– Dissociation

– Borderline personality disorder

– Eating disorders

– Substance abuse and addiction

If you feel like you have difficulty managing or coping with your emotions, or like your emotions are out of control, it would be beneficial to seek professional help from a therapist. It can be hard to navigate your emotions on your own! And if your wellbeing is suffering, there’s no need to face it alone.

How Feeling Aware Shows Up Physically

When we feel more aware physically, we might pay more attention to things around us. We engage all of our senses: what we can hear, smell, taste, touch and see. One sign of alertness is actually when our pupils dilate. It’s like our eyes want us to take in as much information as possible! As far as noticing others’ emotions, we might become more aware of their body language, as their tone of voice and how they speak. Even without the other person saying “I feel upset” out loud, we as humans are pretty good at picking up those physical cues!

Becoming aware of your emotions is also beneficial to your physical health. If you can perceive and manage your feelings, that means you’re probablyyy on the right track as far as managing your stress, too. And we know what lower stress means:

– Reduced blood pressure

– Lower cortisol levels

– Improved sleep

– Better immune system

– More likely to stay hydrated and nourished

We strongly believe that your mental and physical health are closely tied. You can’t ignore one or the other!

5 Ways to Increase Awareness

Looking for ways to improve your awareness but aren’t sure where to start? Don’t worry, we’ve got your back. Here are some strategies to help boost awareness:

1. Practice deep breathing

This is a tried and true method to improve focus and awareness. Try it with us now: breathe innn, and breathe outtt. Taking a moment to focus on your breathing has actually been proven to lower anxiety and reduce stress. Plus, deep breathing slows your heart rate and provides your brain with enough oxygen to gain a sense of calm.

2. Journal

Emotional awareness is alllll about perception and understanding. This makes journaling a great practice for gaining insight into how you feel! Try writing down your thoughts and feelings to not only better understand where they’re coming from, but how you can reframe and counter any negative thoughts that might arise. Try it out, we guarantee you’ll learn more about yourself than you thought possible!

3. Progressive muscle relaxation

This might be a new one for you, but we highly recommend trying it out! This technique involves tensing a group of muscles as you breathe in, and then relaxing them while you breathe out. It’s been proven to reduce stress and anxiety, making you feel more calm and clear-headed. Repeat as needed!

4. Engage in something soothing and comforting

When you become more aware and understanding of your emotions, you’ll know when you need to be comforted. Spend time with your pet by cuddling them or taking them on a walk. Touch something comforting like your fave cozy blanket. Brew some tea or your drink of choice. Find whichever method or activity is right for you in the moment!

5. Practice meditation

This practice is another great way to elevate your emotional awareness. Meditation is a method that’s been used to relieve stress and improve mental clarity since, like… forever. It allows us to slowww down and shift our mindset. If you’re not sure how to meditate, start out with a guided practice!

That’s all for now, friend. We hope you find these tips helpful and that we’ve inspired you to learn more about emotional awareness. ‘Cause if there’s one thing we love, it’s learning about alllll the feels!